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1-Shiva
2-2
3-3
4-4
5-5
6-6
7-7
8-8
9-9
10-10
11-11
12-12
13-13
14-14
15-15
16-16 and 17
17-17
18-19
19-20
20-21
21-22
22-23
23-24
24-25
25-26
26-27
27-28 (edited)
28-29
29-30
30-31
31-32
32-33
33-34
34-35
35-36
36-37
37-38
38-39
39-40
40-41
41-42
42-43
43-44
44-45
45-46
46-47
47-48
48-49
49-50
50-51
51-52
52-53
53-54
54-55
55-56
56-57
57-58
58-59
59-60
60-61
61-62
62-epilogue
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SHIVA—CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN (NC-17) Disclaimers Apply A/N Goddess Foxfeather and her consort Ted are into the clover, I think… And Ted, she’s not a Saltine! Nibble, don’t bite! There ya go… InterNutter, TC and Maxwell Pink are lovely sparkley people…go check out their sites! I command thee! To readers and reviewers and other people I have lusty dreams about nightly: I don’t think my bed is big enough for all of you so I’ll have to thank you all individually or possible in pairs….threes if you’re small-boned… The ducks have no part of this… Rogue felt dark and alone, even though she was in a relatively crowded room. Jean was still abed and Scott hovered nearby like a nervous mother hen, seeming on the verge of shooing people away if they came too close. Jean was fussing, saying she felt fine, that she could get up, and Beast even concurred. Scott, however, all but ordered her to lay down. “Geez, Scott—can she pee on her own or are ya gonna help her with that, too?” Rogue snarked. “Now, now, Rogue…he’s just concerned,” Beast soothed. “You seem…touchy.” _Got a dose of Tabby…can’t be nice right now… _ “PMS,” she lied. Beast eyed her assessingly. “Hmmm…see me later, Rogue. I need to discuss something with you.” “Yeah, yeah…” Rogue squeezed her eyes shut—Tabitha’s thoughts and feelings were fighting to come through and she was having a Hellish time repressing them all. “You feelin’ better Jean? Cuz if you are, I’m going to sleep…” ‘It’s only seven o’clock…” Jean said, eyeing her bedside alarm. ‘Tired…very tired…” Rogue managed, staggering to her feet. “Ow…” Jean had a sudden flash from Rogue’s thoughts, a confused jumble of red and black and white, masking sadness and anger. “Rogue…” The Southern girl knew she had projected from the look on Jean’s faceNothNothing, Jean…nothing.” “What’s going on?” Scott deman ale alert suddenly. He looked from Rogue to Jean and back, his hands tightening on Jean’s forearm. “Nothing, Summers!” Rogue snapped, clapping a hand over her mouth at her angry tone. “Look, gotta go…see ya in the morning…” She bolted then, leaving three confused mutants in her wake. She made it to her room in record time, slamming the door shut behind her. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck. She’s in my head and I hate her…she fucked Pietro! Mine, damn it! It’s his fault too…he didn’t just trip and fall and oops! His dick landed in her! He was actively participating… _ Rogue curled into her quilt, drawing it up over her head. She cried quietly, ashamed to admit even to herself how badly she hurt inside. She kept seeing the image of Pietro and Tabby, entwined and sweaty, red with passion, playing over and over on her eyelids. A tiny voice in her head said to talk to Todd…he would understand and let her rave all she wanted…but she ignored the voice and bit her lip to keep from sobbing. Todd had stayed there, she remembered. He was lurking in the study, alone, refusing to come out for fear of getting jumped by one of the X Men. Rogue could not convince him to go home and finally gave up after the sixth try. Lance had hung out with him for a while until Todd made the mistake of mentioning Amara. A goofy look crossed Lance’s face and he made his excuses, leaving Todd alone in short order. Rogue almost laughed, remembering the look on both boys’ faces, but Pietro popped in again and she swallowed hard. _Bastard. _ She kicked off her quilt in anger and rolled flat onto her back. _Only one way to get this done…Let it flow… _ Rogue found that pretty much the only way to stop the torment of someone else’s mind in her own was to let the memories play out, to let the experience exhaust itself and by proxy, her. She was almost always depressed afterwards and bone-weary. _ Fine, Tabby…fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Give me what you got…_ Jean sighed and rolled her eyes at Beast when she was sure Scott was not looking. Beast merely chuckled and wrote something in his notebook before returning to her bedside. “Rest tonight and tomorrow, we’ll see what’s what. You should be able to return to almost full activity, but your physicality will be compromised…” “No soccer,” she said sadly. “No soccer,” came Scott’s firm confirmation. “It’s important that you take it easy…you’ll be sore for a while. You might find it difficult to get comfortable at night, especially if you sleep on your side or stomach…” Beast was almost out the door when he threw this over his shoulder. Jean felt herself frown. _Great. I can’t levitate in my sleep so now what am I supposed to do? _ “Okay…” After a few more murmured instructions, Beast left Scott and Jean alone. “Side sleeper, aren’t you?” “You’ve seen me…” Jean felt grumpy all of a sudden, as opposed to just tired and sore. “Damn it!” “Jeannie, come on…calm down…” Scott tried to hand her a glass of water but was the recipient of a cool glare. “Don’t call me Jeannie…” “Sorry, sorry…” Scott sighed sadly and folded his hands in his lap. Jean looked at him from the corner of one eye and her heart melted. _He looks like a lost little boy… _ “C’mere,” she scooted painfully to the far side of the bed and patted the bare spot on the mattress. “You sure?” he asked, but he was already moving, carefully, slowly, placing his weight just so on the mattress. Jean still winced as the bed shifted slightly and Scott noticed, feeling guilty as he settled next to her, taking care not to touch her side. “Is this okay?” He slid an arm around her shoulders and she smiled. “It’s fine…” she sucked in a breath and leaned sideways, resting her head on his shoulder. “You want to know what I saw…” “Um…” “It’s okay…I’d rather tell you than anyone else…” Jean tilted her chin to look at Scott’s face, taking in the features she knew like the back of her hand. Her gaze lingered for a moment on his lips and she felt a flush rise on her neck at the sliver of abandon she felt at thinking lustful thoughts instead of carefully controlled ones. _Get on with it so you can get to the fun parts, Jean _ , she snapped to herself. “I know about the Kitty nearly drowning part…” he whispered. “Don’t tell me again…” Seeing Kitty when she came in with Kurt had been like a knife to his heart. It made her seem closer to Death in his mind than she had ever been before. He felt guilty for not being able to deal with the reality of Kitty’s situation and knew that he would one day see things more horrific happen to people he cared about and mentally chided himself for feeling this weakness. Jean felt his self loathing and slid her arm across his waist. “Don’t…I’m scared, too…and, if you really want to know,” she lowered her voice conspiratorially, “so are the adults.” She felt Scott’s start of surprise then relaxation as her words sank in. “Don’t you want to know why?” “Kitty?” he hazarded. “Worse…” She tugged on his arm, bringing his ear to her mouth. tiqutique has been here…she may still be here.” Scott was up and moving before he knew his feet were on the ground. “Where?” he demanded, striding to the door. “Scott! Sit!” Jean barked, sending spikes of pain through her body as she jostled her broken ribs. “I don’t know!” “What do you mean you don’t know?” he demanded, the scowl on his face as black as night. “I mean…” she gritted out, struggling to her feet before Scott could stop her, “ that _I don’t know!” _ “Jean!” His anger was transformed into concern as he tried to edge her back to the bed. “Scott, listen to me! The woman who came in with the others…she was Mystique. No one knows where she went. The Professor knows it was her.” “What do we do?” he asked harshly, face lowered and fists clenched. “We wait…” Kurt woke to the sound of splashing and a small gasp of pain. “Katzchen?” he whispered groggily. Sleeping in the same bed with her had felt as natural as breathing and he was not at all surprised that her lack of presence in bed made him feel bereft. “What are you doing?” “Dirty,” she whispered back. “Washing.” Her words had a tight quality that made Kurt realize she was in some discomfort and bring him to his feet. In the dim light of the room, he saw Kitty leaning ast tst the sink that Beast used for washing his hands, her clothes on the floor beside her and the bandage over her shoulder peeled back, hanging by a corner. Kurt took a moment to yawn wide and rub the sleep from his eyes before half-staggering to her side. “Katzchen, you should be in bed,” he murmured, close enough to feel the warmth of her skin and smell the antiseptic soap she was using to scrub at the dried dirt decorating her flesh. “Not tired…I just want to get this all off of me…” she said, scrubbing at a streak of blood down her arm. “I can’t stand the thouof tof this….this stuff all over me! It’s like it’s holding me in place.” Kurt sighed softly and slid his arms around Kitty’s bare waist, bringing a halt to her scrubbing by drawing her to his chest. Kissing her lightly on her shoulder blade, he said, “That soap will make you itchy.” “Can’t be helped,” she muttered, dropping her hands to lay atop his where they rested, interlaced over her navel. “That’s all he has down here.” Kurt inhaled deeply of her skin, happy that she was alive and not caring that the scent he loved so much was hidden beneath antiseptics and the dirt Beast did not clean off in his hurry to tend to her wound. “If you’re not tired,” he said slowly, almost not daring to speak his thought, “I can help you upstairs…to your own room. You can shower there. I’ll keep an eye on you so you don’t fall…” “An eye on me?” she responded softly, an arrow of heat shivering down her belly. _Hey—I’m alive after all… _ “Innocent, of course. I promise, Schatz.” Kurt turned his hands over to grasp hers. “I’m rested…I have something in my stomach…I can ‘port…” “Was Astrid here earlier? I remember hearing her…” Kitty asked a tad nervously. “She’s here,” he confirmed, suddenly remembering that he never went to see her as promised. “In fact, I should go let her know that you’re okay.” “Do that. I’ll make my way up on my own…won’t do to get lazy…” She tried to pull away but his strong grip stopped her. “Kurt…” “Let me, Katzchen…Please?” _Let me help you—I need to help you…Show you…please? _ He trembled and chanced another kiss against her shoulder blade. Kitty sighed. “I missed you Fuzzy….Okay. But no more porting tonight…” “Promise,” he whispered a mere second before they vanished, leaving Kitty’s clothes in a pile on the floor. Kitty’s knees went a little wobbly as they appeared in her room and Kurt shook woozily, letting her go to sit on the bed as he tried to gain his senses. “Liebes, I have to get real food in my system…” “I understand…Tell you what…Go eat, let me nap then come back. I think do need rest…” “Be here when I come back?” he asked unnecessarily, seeing her eyelids droop even as she tried to remain upright, nude as she was on the unmade bed. “Promise.” Astrid was only mildly surprised when Kurt knocked on her door. He had a mouth of of something and an armful of snacks. “Kurti…” she said, subdued but eager. “Sit, sit…” Kurt edged past his mother and deposited himself on her bed, dropping his armful of food in his lap. Astrid took a seat next to him, leaning against the headboard and taking up his tail in a gesture she had not performed since Kurt was much younger. “Warum passiert sowas immer nur dir?” Kurt sighed. “Ich hab einfach nur Glück...” he said around a mouthful of food. “Das ist noch nicht mal ansatzweise lustig” Astrid snapped.[1] Kurt’s wide eyes told her that he realized he had gone too far. “Sorry…Kurt, you have no idea how worried I was…how worried we all were…”[2] “I know, Mamma…I was worried about Kitty. I know how much it hurts…” Kurt swallowed his last mouthful of apple and snuggled againis mis mother. “I wanted to die.” “No matter how much that hurt, Kurti, thinking that your own child, your heart, is missing hurts a thousand times more.” Kurt shook his head emphatically. “Nothing could hurt more than this did…Kitty is my heart….when she was gone…Oh, Mamma…I wanted to die. I felt like I was so empty. I wanted to fold in on myself and just go away…” Tears tracked down his face and her buried it against his mother’s neck. “Kurt…” Astrid was at a loss for words. She had known Kurt loved Kitty but hearing the extent of his pain made hers flare anew, knowing how deeply he loved the girl made her at once weary and proud. “How long are you going to be here?” he finally asked, sniffing back more tears. “As long as I need to be…” was her reply. She smoothed Kurt’s hair back from his brow and kissed him soundly on the cheek. “You need to go to bed. You’re not going to school tomorrow—I’ll see to it myself if I have to!” Against his feelings, Kurt chuckled. “Jawohl, Mamma!” He eased off the bed and kissed his mother goodnight. “I’ll see you in the morning.” “No running off to fight evil or whatever it is you kids do…” she teased. Kurt returned her wan smile and gathered his snacks back up. He gave her one final kiss before he let himself out of the room and hurried to Kitty’s room. _Be awake, be awake… _ “Hey, baby,” Kitty said softly from somewhere to his right. He whipped around to face her and felt a familiar surge of desire. Kitty was sitting at her vanity, dragging a brush through her tangled hair. She was still naked but had ceased to care about that fact long before. Her skin was just something to hold her bones together at this point, she thought. “See Astrid?” “Ja,” Kurt breathed. “Let me?” he strode to her, throwing his food carelessly onto her bed before taking the brush from her. “Bath or shower?” “Bath would be nice but I don’t want to soak in dirty water…” Kitty closed her eyes as Kurt’s dexterous fingers worked on a nasty tangle. “I think you got a lot of the dirt off downstairs,” he murmured, rising lust subsumed momentarily by concentration on the knot of hair. “Still…” Kitty yelped as he pulled on the knot. “Sorry, Liebes…” Kurt sighed and dropped the hank of hair. “Shower first, then I’ll comb your hair.” Kitty submitted to his lead, letting him guide her to the half-bath and start the water, checking it’s temperature before motioning her into the stall. “It’s nice aarm…arm…” Kitty moaned involuntarily at the feeling of the water on her tired flesh. “Mmmm…this feels so good!” Kurt sucked in a breath through his teeth and closed his eyes. _She’s hurt…don’t even think it, Kurt! _ When he opened his eyes, Kitty was staring at him through the barely-fogged glass of the shower stall door. “Was?” “Can you, ah, scrub my back?” she asked meekly. Kurt was in the shower before his brain could fully form a coherent answer. “That’s a yes…” “I’ll be good, Katzchen…” _Good-good, not* Good-good * …unless you want me to be…just ask and I’ll be your willing slave… _ Kitty curved her spine, making the wound on her shoulder gape anew. With a hiss of pain she jerked away, making Kurt jump back. “Damn it!” she snapped. “That burns!” “Liebes, it’s a fresh wound…it’ll hurt for a while…” Kurt found that he could not look at the sore, evidence of her ordeal. It was the size of a quarter and ragged, deep into her shoulder, stopping only where it hit bone. Beast had said that stitches would do nothing, let the wound drain. _Draining sounds awful. Kitty should never have to drain… _ Kurt shuddered and focused on Kitty’s neck. “Are you okay?” “Yeah…I just need to bandage it later…” With a forced sigh, she straightened and indicated that Kurt should continue. “Please?” Kurt nodded, dimly aware that she could not hear him. _Huh…still dressed _ , he realized. _Don’t care…Kitty needs me… _ With careful hands, he soaped her back with the lavender wash she loved to use, making patterns with trailing fingers in the suds on Kitty’s pale flesh. “Where did these marks come from?” Kitty shuddered and almost did not respond, then sighed. “Honestly? I can’t quite remember…the Professor said I was blocking things…parts I don’t remember must have been painful or really bad…I remember Ruth, and Mystique…she left me to drown…” her voice shook and she hunched again, this time clutching at her stomach in silent anger and residual fear. “Magneto…I know he has Ruth…I know I’m not supposed to be here…” Kurt dropped the sponge with a wet splat and, heedless of his already-wet clothes, pulled Kitty to him. “Liebes, you are supposed to be here…I don’t know how it happened, but somehow you were brought here, you escaped and you were saved. As far as I’m concerned, you aren’t ever supposed to be anywhere else. Always with me…” he rambled against the nape of her neck. “Me to mine…”[3] Kitty husked. Kurt felt his need rise against her bottom and pulled away, feeling a hot rush of shame. “I’m so sorry…” “Don’t be!” she cried, turning to face him. She pulled him close again and pressed her face to his chest. “I missed you…I knew you would save me…” “Katzchen, I didn’t save you…I just found you!” Kurt felt like crying again as he hugged her tightly. “You saved me the day I fell in love with you. If I didn’t have you,” she whispered against his e“I n“I never could have made it. With you, I have something to live for. I knew I couldn’t go on without you and I knew you would never be at rest if I died. I lived for you…” A/N Ruth’s in the next chapter—I promise! [1] In order…”Why are these things always happening to you?” “Just lucky, I guess.” “That’s not even close to being funny.” [2] Just pretend it’s in German… [3] Erk. Another line from Bujold. A Civil Campaign. Miles rules! |
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