Teach me how to never mind

BY : JessiKillyLover
Category: Marvel Verse TV > no category yet
Dragon prints: 701
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the 'Jessica Jones' characters (and this is sad) And I'm not making money out of it.

Chapter I: AKA I’m tired of all this
 

She can hear punches, thumps, furnitures that are moved away, things that are smashed, but she can’t get up from the floor.
Not after Simpson knocked her down so hard, not after she disabled herself on her own, even more obsessed than how the object of her obsession is obsessed by her.

 

She can hear Trish’s growls, her fighting charge, after she decided to take those red pills, at her own risk, in order to protect Jessica.

For once, they switched roles.
 

Actually, Trish’s exact words were ‘if it kills you, there's nobody to take out Killgrave’.

 

Hope, before killing herself.
Trish, who is fighting against Simpson at her best.
Malcolm, with his weirdo focus group.

Everyone has these expectations from Jessica and she can’t just let them down, even if she had to skip another night of sleep.

“No, Will, please, don’t do that…” she hears Trish’s voice, her fear so clear in her tone.
 

- What the fuc… - Jessica frowns, finding the necessary strength to get up.


“Either you’re with me or against me, Trish… and your position is more than clear.” the policeman growls and then there’s the noise of three gunshots.

 

Jessica rushes to the kitchen, where they were fighting, but it’s too late.
 

The army soldier didn’t miss his target who now lays on the ground in a pool of blood.
 

“Trish!” Jessica screams.


“I… I didn’t want it…” is the only thing Simpson manages to say, before running away.

In her optimal state, Jessica would chase him, catch him and make him pay for that.
Correction: in her optimal state, Jessica would have arrived in time, preventing him from doing that horrible, horrible deed.


Now, all Jessica can do is to take a cloth and start dabbing those wounds at Trish’s abdomen, at her right hip and at her speen.


Too many. Too deep. Too much lost blood.

“Jes..sica..I’ve tried.” Trish laboriously speaks, in agony.

“Hush, everything will be fine,” the detective lies both to herself and her sister, as he dials with a trembling hand the 911, urging the ambulance to arrive as fast as they can.
 

“No-pe, Jess, it won’t be alright…I won’t be fine. I’m dying.” Trish informs her.

“Don’t say bullshit, not even for joking, did you hear me? The ambulance will be here in a heartbeat!” the brunette reassures her.
 

“It was good.. to pro-tect ya… after all the times you did that for me.” the blonde smiles at her, regardless of the pain and the sense of numbness that is overwhelming her.
 

Jessica pulls her closer into a hug, paying extreme attention not to touch her wounds.

“Silly sister, you shouldn't have…” she mumbles against her blonde hair.

“Jess?” Trish searches for her face and the other nods. “Between us… I’m the one with the more psycho boyfriend.” she comments, among the spasms.
 

Hearing that, Jessica bursts laughing, a genuine laughter, as she hasn’t done in ages, before realizing she is the only one who is laughing.

 

Trish is not talking anymore and the detective’s hazel/green eyes fall upon the speaker’s aquamarine ones that now are empty and too glassy.
 

“Trish…” Jessica feverishly searches for her wrist, checking it.
“Trish…” she wishes with all her heart to hear a beat, but nothing comes.

“Noooo, fuck, nooo, Trish, dammit!” she cries desperate, as she holds tight the lifeless body of the person she loved the most.

 

Jessica can’t help analyzing what happened.

 

- Simpson is a goddamn policeman, he is supposed to be one of the good guys, instead… - she holds her head in her hands, because she is feeling oh-so dizzy.

She rests her elbows on her drawn up knees, as she lies on the floor, close to what is just a corpse by now.
 

- If the good guys turned evil… who am I supposed to trust?-  she can’t help wondering, as her hand has already unconsciously drawn her mobile out from her pocket.
 

She’s perfectly aware she saved in her phonebook the number she used to send a pic of herself, every day at 10:00 a.m..

- It doesn’t make any sense. He knows I’m onto him, he would never allow me to find him so easily… - she muses, as he presses the call button.


When it’s about Killgrave nothing makes sense.


Jessica can’t believe her ears when she hears the rings from the other side.
 

“Jessica?!” Killgrave answers in awe at the third ring.


“H-help me…” she murmurs, her voice broken by the sudden lump in her throat, shaken by sobs.
 

“Jessica!” now his tone is concerned. “What happened? Where are you?”

“Help me.. plea-se…” she bursts into tears, still too shocked.

 

“Ok, I tracked you. You’re at your home. I know you don’t obey to me anymore, but, please, stay there, don’t move. I’m coming!” he hangs up.


“Hey, boss, what if it’s a trap?” one of the two bodyguards that are in the car with him asks him.


“I don’t care, she was so devastated… I just have to go to her!” Killgrave grumbles, as he summons his driver to go faster.

 

“But, Boss, until a few moments ago, you just wanted to break her down,” the second guard intervenes.


“I pay you to safeguard me, not to think, you bloody idiots! Shut up!” the persuader snaps, but this reminds to him of one of his plan in stand-by.

He dials a number and wait for an answer.
 

“Yeah?” says Luke’s cavernous voice.

“About what I previously told you, don’t do anything anymore!” he gives him his order, knowing that he’s within his range.

The car reaches its destination and he rushes outside, but first he turns to his bodyguards.


“If you don’t see me coming back in half an hour, you know what to do.” he instructs them, walking away.
 

He notices both the ambulance and a police car that arrived at that place.

 

“Your intervention is not necessary anymore, go back to your workplace.” he says and both the people of the ambulance and the police obey, going away.
 

Killgrave gets off the elevator at fifth floor and pushes the door which is already open.

In front of his eyes there’s a gruesome show.
 

As soon as she sees him, Jessica seems to wake up from the catatonic state she was in.
 

“Killgrave!” she gets up and walks towards him, but only to throw herself into his arms.

Killgrave doesn’t stop her, hugging her back, as she soaks his shirt and jacket with her tears, clinging to his neck.
 

Just as his bodyguards made him notice, it’s true, after their last meeting he was furious with her, after she has knocked him down when he had come to her with an offer of peace at a price that he thought was very, very low to pay.
 

But now, seeing her so fragile, with her breakdown, seeing her so defenceless, despite her powers, well, that changes everything for him, once more.


- My poor baby, who even did this to her? I love her, even more than before, if possible.- he muses, as he strokes her hair.

“Patsy? Is she…” he can’t even bring himself to finish the sentence.


Jessica cries even more, jolting with her sobs.
 

“It was Simpson, that fucking scumbag! He was here, they fought, Trish took his same pills... and she seemed to have the upper hand, but…”
 

“He shot her.” he figures out.

“That filthy coward!” she snaps. “And I’m a fucking moron because I saved him. Do you remember? You wanted him to jump from the ledge. You were doing the right thing and I screwed everything up.” she explains, as she can’t find peace.

 

“I adored Patsy. Even when she pissed me off, that day, saying those things at the radio, I’ve never meant to make someone kill her for real I just wanted to scare her a little.” he murmurs and the brunette nods. “I knew you would have protected her.”

“Not enough. I’ve been such a fool. Why the hell did I bother to rescue that despicable being, that reject of society?” she growls as she sobs.

 

She didn’t even notice that she has just called Simpson more or less just like Killgrave had defined the deranged guy who held his own family obstages, before they rescued them.

“Because that’s the way you are, Jessica.” he replies as he massages her shoulders, in order to make her relax.
 

“I don’t want to be like that anymore.” she swears, blinded by rage.
 

Killgrave stares at her stunned.
 

“Jessica, what…”
 

“How can you never mind at anything? Teach me how to do that…” she faces his look with bravery and an icy gaze.

 

“Honey, you know I can’t control you anymore…” he murmurs, as he gently brushes her hair, soaked with tears and blood, from her face.

 

“I didn’t ask you to control me. I asked you to teach me how to become like you!” she insists.

 

“You’re not yourself right now, Jess…”

“I’ve never been myself more than I am in this exact moment. My world’s fallen apart and I feel like everything became the opposite of everything. Don’t you find it ironic? Until one hour ago my only goal was to find you and kill you and now… I feel you are the only one who can understand me, the only one I can rely on.” she stares serious at him, amazing him with her words.

Killgrave pulls her into his waiting arms.
 

“Oh, Jessica, I was so furious with you, as well, I wanted to kill you, at least I thought so..” he whispers at her ear.

 

Everything is so distorted between them that those promises of mutual death they just confessed to each other look more like a declaration of love.

“I can’t look at her anymore. I can’t stand it.” she whines, pointing at Trish and collapsing on the floor. “Someone else will find her. Maybe her mother, maybe Malcolm, maybe that deranged weirdo who lives upstairs. And I don’t want to be here when it happens. Please, Kevin, take me away with you.” she almost begs him.

When he was prisoner in that oh-so-well planned cage, she called him like that to denigrate him, to annoy him.

But now there’s another meaning, there’s another tone in her voice, there’s another way she turns to him.

 

And he’s loving that oh-so-much.
 

“Oh course, I’m going to take such great care of you, pet. Come on, let’s go.” he helps her to get up, but when he wraps his arm around her waist she jolts, parting immediately from him.


At first he thinks she doesn’t like the closeness, although it doesn’t make any sense, judging by the way she threw herself into his arms. And then he realises she’s grimacing for the pain.

 

“Oh, sweetheart, what did he do to you?”

 

“It’s nothing serious, let’s go.” she closes the door, walking away with him.
 

“I’ve already sent the ambulance and the police someone has called away.” he informs her as they are inside the elevator.
 

“Good job. After all, the ambulance couldn’t have done anything for…” she gives in to dejection once more, as he supports her until they reach the car.

None of Killgrave’s staff dares to ask any questions, not even when he takes her to his temporary new house, near the dock.
 

Not even that Albert whose she relentlessly searched for the corpse in every morgue of the town.
He has just leant from the banister, before going back to his activity, whatever he’s doing.
Jessica saw him, but she doesn’t care anymore.

Jessica hasn’t spoken a word since she got in the car and Kevin respected her silence.

 

“My darling, at least let me clean you up properly. You can’t remain like this.” he says sweetly and she lets him walk her to the bathroom, without any resistance.

 

She raises her arms, allowing him to remove her tank top, smeared with blood, but when he does he stares shocked at her bandage.
 

“Honey, I always say I love to see purple around you, but it’s not what I mean.” he grumbles, concerned, as he removes the saran wrap, to replace it with some new one, once she will be cleaned. “Simpson did it, didn’t he?” he growls.

 

“Nope, it was a truck. The fucking driver saw me, but he didn’t stop and the only thing he worried about was who would paid the damage.” she grumbles. “Humanity sucks and they don't deserve saving.”

Her last remark is music to Killgrave’s ears.

“Finally you are seeing things from my same perspective,” he smiles.
 

“If I had done that before, Trish would still be alive,” she strikes back and ends up crying once more.
 

Killgrave hugs her again, both of them not caring that she is just wearing her bra and her jeans are unbuttoned.

There’s nothing sexual in that contact, only comfort.

“Hush, I know, it’s awful. But the bloody wanker will pay for what he did. I can promise that to you. We’ll avenge Patsy. He’s going to regret the day he was born.” he reassures her.
 

“When? Right now, right? Tonight? Let’s find that fucking piece of shit!”
 

“Time to time, tiger. We  need to think about you, first.” he strikes back.

 

“I feel alright.. ouch!” she yelps as soon as Kevin prods her bruise with his finger.
 

“Hell yeah, you’re in tip-top shape.” he makes fun of her, but then he becomes serious, ‘C’mon, be a good girl and let me finish what I’ve started.”
 

Jessica allows him to undress her totally, she lets him put her in the large tube filled with warm, perfumed water.
With a sponge, Killgrave remove the blood-caked parts of her body and then he lovingly washes her hair.
 

Once he’s done, she almost laughs when he wraps her around a lavender purple bathrobe, just of her size, as if he was waiting for her return, as if he still believed in their love story.
 

- I have the feeling he will always believe in that. Maybe I should start believing, as well.- she muses as he dries her hair.
 

“I’ll send someone to take your clothes, although, to be honest, I’d be more than happy to buy you a brand new wardrobe!” he displays his snobbish side.
 

“I said I want to change, but by my rules. My clothes remain!” she says determined, making him laugh.

“Now let’s make you eat something.”


“I’m not hungry.” she anticipates him.

“I bet you haven’t been eating anything for days…”

“Mind your fucking business!” she snaps.
 

“You are my fucking business!” he resorts to her same rough language and he wins.

 

She follows him to the kitchen and finds herself sat at the table with a large slice of chocolate cake in front of her.”
 

“I asked my cook to make me one today.” he explains.
 

“You’ll never quit being ten, won’t you?” she makes fun of him.
 

“Shut up and eat. It’s caloric enough to make you recover some energies.” he pleads the cause, satisfied when he sees her bringing the first forkful to her mouth and even more when she finishes the cake.

 

They spend some time there and then he takes her to his bedroom.
 

A large room, with a very few furnishings, an attached bathroom, a large window with a balcony overlooking the sea, an immense wardrobe and, of course, an unmissable wrought-iron bed with iris purple coverlet.

He places her on the bed.
 

“You need some rest, now, I’ll find myself another room.” he says, stunning her.


“Wait.” she stops him at the threshold. “I don’t want to be alone, tonight.” she pleads.

 

With large steps he reaches the bed, takes off his shoes and sits there, in order to cuddle her.

 

She tries to get closer to his face, to kiss him, but he moves away.

“Jessica, no.”
 

She bursts out laughing, scornful.
 

“What? Excuse me, weren’t you supposed to love me?”

“I love you. Probably I have loved you since the very first moment, even more probably, I’ll do ‘till the end of my days.” he declares, as serious as she has never seen him before.
 

Jessica stares at him, in silence.

“And I want you, you have no idea how much I do.” he goes on, his voice hoarse with lust.
 

Jessica jumps his bones once more, but he pushes her away, as gently as possible.
 

“But not like this. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“What about the months when you kidnapped me? When the hell was it fair then?” she hits a nerve.
 

“So you’ve just listened to what you wanted, that night at the police station. Losing you in such a bad way, when you abandoned me and left me to die… or nearly die, well, it changed me a lot. I mean, I still don’t give a damn to the rest of the world, but I realised how much I do care about you, darling, and I want to do it in the proper way, without forcing you, without pressure; when you finally figure out you love me, as well, because I know you do, Jessica.” he replies, leaving her speechless.

 

“You’re still mourning, after such a big, big loss. You are too vulnerable right now and I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Jessica this time doesn’t mean to be rejected again and, despite her beat-up hip, she immobilizes Kevin under her, she straddles him with her strength, as the belt of her bathrobe loosens a bit, revealing some of her nudity.
 

The most irresistible temptation for Killgrave.

“That’s it, you are not taking advantage of me, I am taking advantage of you. Let’s leave aside those stupid sentimentalities, Kevin. I’m mourning after my huge, so important loss, and now I want comfort sex, nothing else. I won’t hate you for that, I won’t regret it. Tomorrow I won’t wake up yelling at you it was a big mistake. It’s what I desire now, of sound mind and body.” she declares, pressing herself even more against his pelvis where she can already feel a noticeable hardness.
 

He shows her a bitter smile.

“‘Of sound mind and body’. The last time I heard you say this sentence, you did something less, very less funny.” he retorts, pushing her away again, now that she’s not using her strength. “I guess you’d better leave me and my Slim Jim alone!”

“Oh, c’mon, I wanted to piss you off that day. I really meant all the rest i said, but,” she ‘attacks’ him again, as her naughty hand lands on his crotch. “Killgrave Junior is not a Slim Jim at all,” she makes him smile. “What do you think? Should I apologise directly with him?” she teases him, licking her lips, slowly and sensually.

“Jessica, I…” Killgrave gasps, as he tries to recall how to breathe.

Jessica gets up from the bed.
 

“Okay, I see you don’t want to give me comfort sex, I’ll find someone else who can please me. If I’m not wrong, I saw there’s a bar in the nearby,” she opens the door, but Kevin is already only a step from her.
 

“Where would you want to go? Come here!” he growls possessively, pulling her towards him for a kiss that is anything but gentle, as he pushes her towards the bed.
 

This time he won’t deny himself anymore.
 

“Took you long enough to make your move!” she smiles against his lips, throwing him on the mattress, before straddling him.

“What about… your hip?” he grows concerned, skimming with his slender fingers her purple bruise, now covered by a new saran wrap.

“Pain and pleasure always go hand in hand!” she shrugs.

 

“I hoped you would say that!” he sneers, kissing her ravenously.


TBC


I hope you'll like it, let me know <3



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