Don't Piss off The PA

BY : sondralewis
Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The
Dragon prints: 5239
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Avengers, nor the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title: Don’t Piss of the Personal Assistant

Fandom: Avengers/Bleach

Characters: The Rogue Avengers

Chapter: 1

Word count: 2426

Warnings: a little bit of violence

AN: Well then. This is one of those stories that I used for practice of mixing these two worlds. It is about 24 chapters in length (I have 5 chapters from the beta and am rewriting chapter…18? Right now) so I will be posting this once a week.


The chapters are going to vary in length because of the way I wrote this story. I didn’t write it chapters: I wrote it by what day I was working on it. It took me about…15 days to write this story.


 I hope you enjoy!




When the take down of the Rogues went down, it went without a single hint of warning. It started with a blur of darts that took out first Barton and then Wanda, stopping the two from defending. A blur of black and red took down Natasha with a few quick blocks and a needle full of a special cocktail to knock her out.


The blur turned out to be Deadpool as he pulled out a gun, leveling it at Sam’s head and making him stop with his hands up. A redhead decked in black took down Steve by jumping on his back, launching from over the back of the couch, and shoving a needle into Steve’s neck and rolling when he was tossed over a shoulder.


Steve fell to the ground with the sight of Ichigo Kurosaki, Tony Stark’s personal assistant, standing up and brushing himself off while the Dora Milaje walked in with gurneys before the drugs knocked him out.


Shaking his head, he pushed up from a cot. He found that he was in a thinnish bedroom that was furnished with the bedding and a side table. It was no more than ten feet wide and almost twenty-five feet long, the furniture leaving very little room. He stood up and walked out of the room, finding that it led out into a bigger room that was set up as a meeting room.


Natasha was already sitting at the table, nursing a coffee and rubbing at her forehead, making him wonder just what she had been hit with. There were a few benches along one of the walls, and a glass window in another wall.


He looked to the window and found that T’Challa was carefully watching them from behind a window before he left. “What happened?” Steve asked quietly as he walked to the coffee pot in the corner and poured himself a cup.


“Stark’s little bed warmer fucking got the jump on us with that fucking asshole, Deadpool. Probably fucked T’Challa to get to us,” Clint snarled from behind Steve, starting to pace along the wall that led to some of the rooms. Natasha had turned to gaze at the watching woman who was sitting behind a small computer desk and was typing on a laptop. She narrowed her eyes at the smirk on the woman’s lips.


Two people strolled into the room that was connected to where the Rogues were held as the rest of the Rogues came out of their rooms. One was a tall, very broad man that they knew was M’Baku, one of the tribe heads of Wakanda and an advisor to T’Challa. His skin was a rich brown, almost black, and his hair was tightly curled against his head, carefully taken care of. His arm was crooked, a delicate hand curled around his elbow as he smirked at them and turned to the man next to him.


They all knew just who the other man was. From the fiery red hair that was pulled back into a tightly bound French braid, the length of the rest of the braid curled up out of the way, to the Chocolate brown eyes with gold flecks looked upon them with some amusement, they knew.


Natasha eyed the simple pantsuit that was pressed just right. She narrowed her eyes and priced it at quite a bit, remembering when she had seen that suit being bought.


“It’s rather nice to know that you have such high opinions of my bedroom skill. Especially since you think that, somehow, I have managed to make a monarch, who like most of his family, have been trained from day one to dodge seduction tactics, change his mind on things,” Ichigo Kurosaki drawled.


Clint snarled at him, Ichigo raising an eyebrow thoughtfully.


“Right. So. Here is how things are going to go down. If you speak out of turn, you will be darted with a paralytic dart. The Dora Milaje are willing and happy to do that for me. It seems that you have done nothing but insult the Wakanda culture since you arrived here.” He paused as he walked over to the desk, Steve noticing a pile of boxes next to it. “Well, outside of Romanoff, Lang, and Wilson. I’ve been told in the last week that I’ve been here that you three have learned whatever you could while here.”


“What do you mean by that?” Steve asked. He was still feeling lethargic even as he took the half-filled cup of coffee into his hands again.


Ichigo rolled his eyes before he smiled and turned to M’Baku. He bowed, lowering his eyes as a sign of respect to the large warrior. “Thank you, M’Baku-san, for escorting me. If you need or wish to leave, do not feel as if you must stay while we do this,” he said.


M’Baku snorted and shook his head. “I will stay and watch. This shall be fun,” he said as he pulled out a StarkPhone that he was testing, one of the few phones that Wakanda had brought in so far. “I promised Mr. Stark that I would record this since he is not able to be here to see it.”


Ichigo snickered as he turned back to the table, pulling out the wheeled chair before he sat down. One of the Dora Milaje moved two of the piled boxes up onto the table next to him before she stepped back again. Steve noted that they were kind of thin before shaking off that random thought and paying attention.


Ichigo hummed, opening the top and pulling out the first file folder. “This file here…” he started. He smiled sweetly at the group. “I had a rather nice lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen, guy named Matt Murdoc, explain it to me in layman’s terms. We all know that I’m just the bed warmer and future art historian after all. And I’ll probably have to suck and fuck my way up to the position I wish in any museum. Not to mention what I do to have near perfect grades. Never mind that I have time to study and have always been good at studying. Of course, you would never know that. I got the job and that means I’m a slut for my boss.”


Clint sneered but kept quiet. He started to pace again as Steve frowned, looking over to Natasha as she stood and walked to the only door that would leave the rooms. A flap was opened on one side of the two-way entry and one of the guards placed enough bottles of water for each of them into the box. He closed his side, allowing Natasha’s side to open and for her to get the bottles, the red head nodding.


“Thank you,” she said softly, the man nodding in return.


“You will find that you will all be fed and watered. There is a bathroom area. You will have access to it at all times. There are three stalls and two urinals. There are also sinks, showers, and even a tub. Just know that even if you go into one of the private rooms, you will hear everything that I say,” Ichigo stated. He removed the thick pile of papers from the folder and placed the folder to the side. “Natasha Romanoff. Scott Lang. Clint Barton. Steve Rogers. Sam Wilson. And...Wanda Maximoff. You are all facing quite the charges,” he started.


Steve jerked around to look at Ichigo, holding his water tightly before looking to Wanda. He found her tugging at a collar made of stone before letting it go and trying for the matching bracelets.


“What...what did you do to her?” he asked, finally noticing that there wasn’t any magic lingering around her fingers. He swayed when he moved too fast, his blood moving in a rush.


Ichigo muttered and rolled his eyes. “I did nothing. “That stone is just absorbing whatever she pushes out. She’ll be a dried-up husk before she is able to get them off without help. Don’t think that you’ll be able to do that,” he drawled. He eyed Wanda, watching as she stared at the bracelets with a thoughtful look. “Much like me, they are stronger than they look. It’s also so that you are not able to attack the Dora Milaje,” he continued. “Now, are we going to listen? Do sit down, Mr. Rogers. The drug that took you down is still in your system. And yes, it will get out of your system soon enough; you still have a lot of trouble to come.”


Steve sat down heavily, rubbing at his head as he waited for his head to clear from the dizziness. Clint suddenly stopped to stare at a spot on the wall, his eyebrows furrowing.


Ichigo took note, remembering the few times that he had seen that happen before one of Clint’s headaches, and made a note on his phone. He would wait.


“Alright. You will all be undergoing a psychological review starting this evening,” he stated, shooting Steve a glare when he opened his mouth. “We need to ascertain your mental state after all. You do have lawyers who are taking on your cases thanks to the Accords council. They were all nice enough to put money down from their own bank accounts so that you can have good lawyers, and they all asked for the reviews.”


Natasha finally handed out the bottles of water. “Nothing from Tony?” she asked, Ichigo shaking his head. “Why?” she asked.


 “Because he is connected to the situation. He was advised to step back and let others handle this,” Ichigo said. “He agreed. Now, to go over the list, starting with the one with lesser charges. Scott Lang, you will be charged with violating international borders, property damage, and the stupidity that is violating your parole. I do believe that your daughter has been making videos that you will be able to watch where she discusses how disappointed she is in you,” he started.


For the next hour, Ichigo sat at the desk and went over each charge against each of the Avengers, finally coming to Clint, having decided to wait on him.


“Due to your previous state of mental enslavement by the Titan named Thanos via Loki Layfeyson, you will find that your charges will be hinging on two things. Your mental state and what the Sorcerer Supreme, Dr. Stephen Strange, and Professor Charles Xavier finds in your head,” he finished. He flipped the folder closed. “We have a feeling that we will find that not all of the stones control was removed. Why Fury never had you checked by a telepath or some other student who knows magic, I will never understand. That will most likely happen when we get to the United States.”


Clint winced as the low-grade headache that had been throbbing while Ichigo had been going over kicked up a notch. “Is there any way that I can get my sunglasses and some pain killers?” he asked. He rubbed at his head.


Ichigo narrowed his eyes. He had watched the way the other man had started to move. He had seen video of post-Loki, then after  Lagos, then after Ultron had been defeated, and each time he hadn’t moved as smoothly as he usually did.


“Mr. Barton, please step over to the door. Do not at any time try to fight. You will be taken to the medical wing and placed under guard. I do believe that I am going to need to call Dr. Strange and Professor Xavier now instead of having you see them later,” Ichigo stated. He stood and looked over to M’Baku. “Can you find someone who would be willing to watch over him?” he asked politely. “I must make some calls.”


“Of course,” M’Baku said. He stopped recording, nodded his head and turned. Okoye stepped forward with a bow as the large man left, taking his place as Ichigo’s escort. It didn’t take them very long to provide Clint with sunglasses and wheel him off in a wheelchair, making Ichigo sigh.


“Right. Calls,” Ichigo said, leaving with Okoye following after him as he headed to the small office that T’Challa had set up for visiting guests when they had to do their jobs. He had done it in preparation of having Wakanda rejoin the greater world and it worked to his advantage as he sat at his laptop, twitching the mouse. “Friday, dear, can you tell me if Tony is still up or busy?” he asked.


A small pop-up window with Friday’s avatar opened to the side. The avatar smiled before she answered. “Boss is up at this moment and not busy. He has awoken early for his weekly physical therapy and then meetings with several people. Do you wish to call him now?” she asked.


Ichigo checked his clocks on the side of his computer screen. “It’s seven there. That’s a new one,” he drawled. Friday’s avatar nodded. “Yes, please. Warn him before you start first though.”


“Of course, Mr. Kurosaki. Please hold,” she said. The avatar window closed, and a video call screen popped up instead.


Tony yawned at him when the call connected. Ichigo smiled at his boss. “You’ve been gone for not even a week yet, Ichi. Are you all done?” he asked.


“Mostly. I need Dr. Strange to bring himself and Professor Xavier. It seems as if there is something going on with them, but mostly Barton though,” Ichigo said. “I’ve seen some of the security footage of Barton after the Loki incident and then saw how he was after Lagos and Ultron,” he said.


Tony stood up straighter as he frowned, looking off to the side. Loki’s voice was soft as he talked to him off camera. “Loki says that it’s likely that the pathways that were left could have been used by the Witch,” he said. “I’ll send Strange and Xavier over to you guys. Warn T’Challa would you?” he asked.


Ichigo nodded and hung up with a groan. Sighing, he stretched and stood. “Okoye-san, I need to warn T’Challa about the two new visitors arriving soon. And not in a conventional manner,” he said, opening the door.


Okoye eyed him for a moment before she nodded and pulled out a phone, tapping out a message for T’Challa. She got a quiet confirmation from him on the other side. “He will talk with you about what you need over a late lunch if that is fine with you.”


Ichigo blushed when his stomach growled. “More than.”




You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story