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Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks)	By : KerwinLS Category: X-men Comics > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 1786 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, nor do I own the characters from it. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks)
- 1
Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks)
Und lass mit endlosem Vertrauen/Hinter meine Masken schauen
And with endless trust, To look behind my masks.
From Matthias Reim’s “Hey Lieber Gott”
Takes place sometime after UXF-26 when they have a night free.
Logan, Kurt Darkholme, and Deadpool deepen their involvement with each other.
With thanks to Sundown, who helped me improve the sections dealing with Deadpool. She's knows him better than I do.

DARKHOLME
I’m squatting on top of Logan’s bare buttocks, massaging his back and neck, the thin fabric of my underwear forming the only barrier between us. It’s one of those rare evenings when we haven’t anything to do, no evil adversaries to fight, no dangerous monsters threatening the public, no wicked masterminds out to destroy the world or even just us.
The hard, taut muscles resist my ministrations, even when I lean all my weight down onto my hands and fingers, so I’m not having an easy time of it. But I want to do this. He is so often in pain simply from the adamantium that fills his bones and puts a severe strain on the muscles and joints due to its weight. Of course, he will seldom complain about it, but he’s told me it is at times like having severe arthritis, and he has to force himself to move despite the pain. He’s hurting tonight. I can tell by his reactions to my massage, and the tension along his spine.
I dig my fingers in hard, trying to help him relax. I know if I can get him feeling even a little better, he’ll be more in the mood for sex later on. Besides, I want to do this for him, since he’s been more than attentive to my comfort when I’ve been injured or beaten up during one of our missions.
If I think about it too much, it alarms me that I’m coming to care for this man. He struggles so hard to do what he thinks he must, and so often falls short. He takes so much upon himself, but he never gives up, no matter what. I admire his courage, even when I cannot always admire his actions. Who am I, after all, to judge him? I must first judge myself, and most of the time I do not like what I find in my own heart.
And so I’ll try to make him more comfortable, if I can. And I’ll use him and allow him to use me sexually, for it gives us both pleasure and a short respite from the rest of our lives.
Perhaps my fingers will show him what I cannot say in words. Perhaps the violence with which we sometimes come together will mitigate some of the violence that we cannot escape in the outside world.
Or perhaps I am an idiot and a fool to allow myself to care for anyone, even a little bit.
My lips quirk into a sardonic smile, as I feel my prick begin to harden against his buttocks. Maybe it’s nothing but lust that drives me into his arms, after all. Perhaps it would be better that way. I have enemies to kill. I do not need distractions.
My mind drifts back to our recent battle with the Omega Clan. I replay the thoughts that came to me when I felt I was going to die at their hands: “This is not your fight. Your companions are strangers.” “Leave them.” “Jump the hell away.”
But if they were nothing more than strangers, why did I stay?
Afterwards, as I recovered my strength onboard the Blackbird, I tried to tell Logan about how I had been tempted to leave him to his fate.
He dismissed it with a casual wave of his hand. “Wouldn’ta blamed you if you had. I can heal, but when you die, you’re dead. Besides, Wade ran, but he came back for us. You might have done the same.”
“I am – still ashamed that I vould even have considered such a cowardly act.”
“No reason to be. After all, ya didn’t do it, did ya? Instead, you were there when we needed you. Thinkin’ don’t count. Only actions count.”
I wanted to ask if he had had the same thoughts about deserting me, but I didn’t dare. I was afraid that I already knew the answer, and that answer would only have deepened my shame.
I pull my focus back to here and now, his body under my hands, the powerful muscles that run along each side of his spine. I fancy I can feel the adamantium in the vertebrae that have to support the rest of his skeleton, the strain that must be responsible for the way his muscles, ligaments, and tendons have had to develop beyond those of any ordinary man just in order for him to move.
Suddenly, the lock on the door clicks open. Logan is already halfway to his knees with me still on top of him as Wade strolls in.
“Well, well, well. What have we here? Could it be that I’m interrupting something? Oh, heaven forbid!”
He is dressed in tight black leather pants, black shirt with a leather vest, high shiny boots, and a leather peaked cap on his head. Although the tight leather shows off his muscles and the color goes well with his light hair and his now-handsome face, he somehow manages to appear incongruous in that outfit.
Logan takes one look and laughs out loud. As soon as we’ve adjusted our positions so that we are sitting beside each other on the bed, he demands, “Wade, what the fuck are you doing dressed up like that?”
“Now that I’ve got something to show off, I want to take advantage of it.” He twirls around, showing off his leather-clad buttocks. “Nice, huh?”
“Ja. Sehr schön,” I tell him. “If you’re about to jump onto a motorcycle.”
“I had a different sort of ride in mind.”
Logan raises an eyebrow. I just try to appear skeptical.
“Well, uh, I thought gay guys liked this look.”
“Some gay guys do, yeah,” Logan replies. “But ya can’t just suddenly dress up like that and expect to be taken seriously, ya know? There’s more to it than just the clothes.”
“Couldn’t you have just vorn something ordinary?” I ask.
“You mean something like what you two have got on? Logan, nothing. You, blue camo boxer briefs with a hole in the back for your tail? That what you’d prefer?”
“Vell, it vould be preferable to vhat you’re vearing, und much cooler.”
“I guess this is kind of hot, now that you mention it. And I don’t mean in a good way. It’s just that I’m not used to going around without a uniform of some kind, after all those years, so I thought I’d try out this look for a while. You really don’t like it?”
We both shake our heads.
He gives us a smile. “C’mon, admit it. I look good and you want me, right?”
“Wade –”
“I know what you guys are up to in here by yourselves. And I’m thinking I want to get in on the action. I dressed up all nice, and what does it get me? Maybe I should just go peddle my ass somewhere else.”
“You are not going out dressed like that, are you?” I ask.
“Why? Want me to stay here after all?” He wiggles his hips in what was clearly supposed to be a provocative manner.
Logan and I look at each other. I give a slight nod.
“Maybe if you’d get out of those clothes –” Logan begins.
“I knew you’d change your mind. After all, you and I’ve both had a piece of the Kraut already, so why not share?”
Logan turns a puzzled look on me. “This true?”
“Uh – ja.”
“You didn’t tell me?”
“I had no reason to.”
Logan appears slightly miffed, but trying to get over it. “So what’s with this Kraut nickname? Don’t tell me you like it.”
“I don’t really mind.” I shrug my shoulders. “After all, it is only the truth. Much better than being an elf.”
He snorts and shakes his head, but there’s a smile on his face now. “Aw right then, Kraut, if that’s what you want.” He stands up, crosses his arms, and leans back against the wall. “OK, since you two are so experienced at this, let’s see what you can do. I’ll watch and let you know what I think.”
Wade obviously does not expect this reaction. “We only did it – uh – once. I’m not sure –”
I stand up and go over to him. “First thing ve do is get rid of some of these clothes.” I pull his vest down and off his arms, tossing it over the chair in the corner, then go to work on his shirt, which soon follows the vest. He does look good, with those nicely defined muscles and not much chest hair. Quite a contrast with Logan’s harder and more hairy body.
I start playing with his nipples, to see how he likes it. Very quickly, my mouth takes over for my fingers, sucking hard now, as my fingers drift down to the heavy belt around his waist and begin working on the buckle. Once I have that unfastened, I run one hand down into his pants, feeling the warm softness of the leather on the backs of my fingers, while the flesh of his belly pulls taut and quivering against my palm. He gasps as my hand reaches further down, stroking the upper edge of his prickly blond pubic hair.
Somewhere along the line, I have gotten to like this strange madman. Maybe it was when he asked for time to get his friend to safety when Fantomex was going to shoot him. His loyalty to that strange little man impressed me.
Be that as it may, just now I am in the process of trying to impress Logan with my confidence and expertise in this situation.
Deftly unbuttoning his fly, I peel the skintight trousers down to the top of his boots, going to my knees as I do so and maneuvering Wade around so that Logan has a good side view of the action.
His cock is still soft, hiding shyly in the midst of that pale hair. For just a moment, I am surprised that he has been circumcised. In my world, that particular practice never caught on, outside of a few scattered religious groups. It seems strange to see a man’s exposed glans when he is not yet erect. Oh well, it won’t be that way for long.
I begin working on him with my fingers, one hand around his shaft and the other cupping his balls. I may not have the standard complement of fingers, but the ones I do have are quite deft at awakening a man’s equipment. They ought to be, given the number of years I’ve been using them on myself.
I am about to take his stiffened penis into my mouth when Logan’s voice interrupts my intentions.
“Darkholme, condoms.”
“Was? Oh – ja.”
“There should be some in the infirmary.”
I jump away in search of the suggested condoms, leaving Wade standing there and looking confused, his hard cock jutting straight out in front of him.
LOGAN
“Huh? What was that all about?” Wade asks me.
“You been useta bein’ immune to everything, but you’re not anymore. Havin’ sex with me is no problem, but with anyone else, you need to be playin’ safe.”
“But I haven’t screwed around with anyone since then. I’m clean.”
“Maybe. But how do you know that Darkholme is?”
“I could ask –“
“And you’re sure he’d tell you the truth?”
“Well, yeah.”
I shake my head in mild disgust over his naivete as I step over in front of him and take hold of his cock, stroking it persuasively.   He just stares at me in surprise.
“A grown man should know better than that, Wade. A hard prick can make even an honest man lie through his teeth.” My other hand reaches down and massages his ballsac. “Am I right?”
Wade sucks in a shaky breath and admits, “Yeah, you’re right.”
Satisfied that I’ve made my point, I release him and go back to leaning against the wall. “Don’t worry, he’ll be back real soon with those rubbers.”
And, with the usual puff of acrid smoke, he is.
Wade
The Kraut is down on his knees in front of me again, but my dick droops slightly as I watch him open one of the little packages he brought with him. Sure, I’ve used these things before, but only with women, for obvious reasons. I’ve got enough problems as it is, so I sure don’t want an unexpected kid showing up to tell me I’m his daddy.
Yeah, like that Daken guy did with Logan, huh? Maybe the ol’ Wolverine should have taken some of his own advice about condoms, back in the day. Would have saved him a whole lot of trouble.
But I hate these damn things. It’s like wearing a raincoat while I’m –
Oh, spare me the bullshit! Just get used to it. It’s part of your life now, so stop whining already!
OK, OK. Umm. It does feel pretty nice, the way he’s stroking me and tickling my balls as he unrolls it over my cock. And is that his tongue licking at my belly button? Oh yeah, it must be, since it’s moving down the happy trail to my crotch, a bit at a time.
“Remember how you sucked me off last time, Vade?” The Kraut’s voice sounds lower than usual, and his accent is thicker. “Dis time I vill return de fafor. Und I vill try fery hart not to bite you mit mein fangs.”
He would have to remind me about that, wouldn’t he? No matter. He’s just trying to scare me. It’s an empty threat. I think.
His mouth encases my cockhead with moist hotness, sucking hard and swirling his tongue around and around over my latex-covered pee hole.
Then he takes the entire thing down into his throat, and all thoughts of condoms disappear from my mind. There is only the tight suction pulling at me insistently, with an occasional brief touch of his teeth as he draws back to take a breath.
I’m gonna come! Oh shit! Oh yeah!
Open your eyes and watch him, you schmuck!
But -
Just do it.
The top of his head, with the shiny pitch black hair. Pointed blue tips of his ears on either side. Those fierce glowing eyes, golden now, glance up quickly and meet my gaze, the barbaric red mark over the left one seeming especially bright. The edges of his lips curve up just slightly around the cock filling his mouth. It’s so hot, watching him down there on his knees, working on me like this. I wish it could last forever.
I see that devil’s tail of his move, and feel the crack of it across my bare ass as he whips it around behind me.
And I come, grabbing his head and pulling him hard against my crotch, feeling him gag around my quivering cock but not caring.
Then it’s over, only the last few twitches left. I stand there frozen, savoring the final sensations.
“You’d better let him go, Wade.” Logan’s voice. “After all, if he ‘ports away, he might take your cock along with him.”
Thus harshly recalled to reality, I let go of the Kraut’s head, pulling away to free his mouth and allow him to breathe again. He grins, working his jaw from side to side, as if the joints ache.
“Can you really do that?” I ask him.
“Um-hum. Can. Und have.” His eyes narrow and his grin turns ghastly and dangerous. I believe him.
“Well, as long as you don’t make a habit of doing it to your friends,” I quip.
“I do not --- usually.”
I peel the used condom off of my wilting dick, then shuffle clumsily into the bathroom to dispose of it in the toilet, my ankles still tethered by my trousers. I have to sit down on the toilet in order to work my way free of the boots and pants. Maybe this outfit wasn’t such a clever idea after all. But hey, it got me what I wanted, right?
As I stride back into the other room, Logan launches himself languidly away from the wall and approaches Darkholme, who is still on his knees. Maybe the Kraut’s hoping his good buddy will decide to take my place in front of him?
Darkholme
“Real nice, – uh – Kraut.” Logan extends a hand to pull me to my feet. What do ya say we put on the show this time, buddy?”
I nod, taking the offered hand and getting up. Logan turns me around so my back is to him, then pulls my briefs down, letting them fall around my ankles. I step clear, tossing them away with a flick of one foot.
“Now, clasp your hands behind your head.”
I have no idea what he has in mind, but I do as he says, feeling rather like a prisoner being taken captive in this pose.
His hands slide around my chest from either side to cover my tits. Fingers dig into my fur, grabbing a handful of flesh over my pecs and squeezing hard. My back arches and the muscles pull tight over my chest, as he squeezes and releases rhythmically, working my nipples against his palms almost painfully. The tension in my groin increases sharply with every squeeze.
He holds my body hard back against his, so tightly that it is difficult to breathe, while he pulls me down just far enough that I have to bend my knees a bit. When I struggle, he gives me a sharp nip on my right shoulder.
“Au! No,” I gasp.
His voice is a low growl. “Be quiet.”
I don’t know why I do as he says; it would be easy enough to get free simply by ‘porting away. But something holds me here by his command.
Why is it so easy to obey this man, of all people? He’s a monster in my world, a traitor and an enemy. I can’t look at him without seeing our Weapon Omega. And yet, some part of me wants to yield to him.
I feel his cock moving against me, near the base of my tail. Without so much as a conscious thought, my tail bends as sharply as it can to one side, wrapping itself around both my right leg and his, twining down to our feet and binding us together.
Logan stiffens a little at the sensation of my tail sliding against his skin. He murmurs into my ear, “Sehr geil.”
Hearing the words in German makes me shiver. If he had simply told me how hot I was in English, it would not have had the same impact.
His cock slides back and forth between my buttocks and slightly spread thighs, slowly, teasingly, not seeking entrance but rubbing the shaft against my anus, while the tip nudges in back of my balls.
There is something so arousing about being held like this from behind. It feels somehow right. I realize I am moaning and squirming shamelessly, matching his agonizingly slow movements. My cock juts out in front of me, pumping back and forth into the empty air. Just before I squeeze my eyes closed, I catch a glimpse of Wade’s face, staring at us as if he’s never seen such a thing before. Logan holds me here, exposed, displayed before our audience. It is degrading. I shouldn’t like this, but I do.
One hand releases my aching nipple and creeps slowly, inexorably, down the front of my body, teasing, pinching, pulling at my fur. There is no doubt in my mind where he is going.
Turning my head to one side, I beg softly, “Please.”
“Shh,” he hisses in my ear.
His hand closes around my straining erection, as his other hand moves down to clutch my balls. He starts stroking. I forget all about my surroundings. The rest of the world disappears. Nothing matters now but what I feel inside.
WADE
I can’t believe I’m seeing this. I can’t believe this is turning me on. I can’t believe the Kraut is letting Logan do this to him. I can’t decide if I’d rather be in his place, or Logan’s.
My nipples tingle when I think about those strong hands kneading them, and, at the same time, my arms are itching to wrap around that sleek, furry body and lock him against me. I want him to moan for me the way he is for Logan.
As Logan’s hand runs down that taut belly, I can almost feel his touch on my own skin. When he takes hold of Darkholme’s cock, I shudder with desire. I want to be the one stroking that hard blue cock, and feel him squirm against my palm as I hold him back against me.
I want to be the one holding the Kraut that way, displaying my mastery over his body, and at the same time I want to be the one being dominated so thoroughly. He doesn’t look like he’s the least bit ashamed, and I see only a fierce tenderness on Logan’s face as he murmurs, “Come for me, darlin’.”
Go on, you idiot! Don’t just stand there gaping. Do something!
Like what?

What they do when someone’s about to come in those porn videos you like so much.
You want me to do *that*?!
Why not?
But it’s usually the woman who does it.
So what? You know you want to.
Aw shit! OK, you’ve convinced me. But maybe I shouldn’t interfere.

Stop being such a wuss. They’ll love it.
You sure?
Of course.
I kneel in front of them, my face level with that eerie blue cock that now has a white drop of pre-cum leaking out of it.
As Darkholme’s groin arches forward, Logan extends the claws on both of his hands, careful not to harm his captive or me. The sound is enough to send Darkholme into ecstatic spasms, as the drop becomes a hard spurt, and then another and another. Closing my eyes, I allow his cum to splatter onto my face.
Idiot! You’re supposed to open your mouth.
And get another lecture on safe sex from our fearless leader? No thanks.
Well, OK. This is pretty hot anyway.
Glad we agree.
LOGAN
I see Wade kneel and deliberately aim for his face, since that’s what he seems to want. I have to keep myself from coming as I watch Darkholme shoot his load. That beautiful blue cock is so familiar in my hand, the sight of it quivering spasmodically as his body shakes with pleasure in my arms. Aw shit, don’t let me think about Kurt! Not now, oh please, not now!
I bow my head and lean my forehead against the back of his neck, holding him securely and carefully, my claws still fully extended. Finished, he goes limp. I sheathe my claws and hold his weight against me, easing him down onto the bed to give him a chance to rest and recover his breath.
Then I turn back to Wade, still on his knees, his face splattered with semen.
“Good goin’, Wade. Maybe you do have some talent in this direction after all.”
WADE
I barely have time to absorb the compliment when Logan steps over in front of me and assumes the slightly spread-legged stance of a man who expects a blow job. He looks down at me.
“It’s my turn now. Let’s see if you can do as good a job as Darkholme did on you.”
His cock stands at attention, ready and waiting, pointing at my mouth. It should be fairly easy to bring him off.
Yeah, but why don’t we make it a little less easy, while we’re at it?
What do you mean?
Watch.
I swipe one hand over my face to get rid of most of the cum, at the same time using the other hand to grab up one of the packaged condoms the Kraut left conveniently on the floor next to me. Tearing it open, I glance up at Logan, holding the tightly-rolled latex tube on my palm.
“You know that’s not necessary with me, Wade,” he objects.
“Now, now. I’m sure you won’t mind if I practice what you preached. The more I do it, the more it will become automatic for me. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Realizing that I’ve backed him into a corner of his own making, he rolls his eyes in feigned exasperation and nods his acquiescence. I can see the tips of Darkholme’s fangs revealed as he flashes me an amused grin from where he’s lying on his side on the bed behind Logan, his head propped up on one elbow as he watches us.
Squeezing the tip of the condom, I unroll it deftly over the considerable girth of the Wolverine’s formidable cock. When that’s done, I nod my head in the Kraut’s direction as I describe an exaggerated flourish with my hands, announcing triumphantly, “Ta-Da!”
Logan closes his eyes and shakes his head in disgust. “Enough with the dramatics. Just do it,” he growls, but I can see the edges of his mouth struggling to turn upwards into a grin.
“But of course, my good sir,” I reply grandly. Leaning forward, I slurp my tongue along the entire underside of his cock, then smile like a kid with a new lollipop. “Yummy!”
In reality, the lubricant on the condom tastes rather nasty. Before Logan can react to my latest jest, I take his cockhead into my mouth and start sucking. His penis isn’t quite as long as the Kraut’s, but it’s much bigger around, so I have a little trouble accommodating it.
“What’s the matter, Wade? Your big mouth, not quite big enough to handle me?” Grabbing my head, he pushes further in, as I gag and drool around him. “What, no snappy comeback? Cat got yer tongue?” he taunts. “Payback is hell sometimes, ain’t it, darlin’?”
Did you hear that? He called me darling! We’re not going to let him get away with that, are we?
And what exactly do you suggest that we do to get back at him?
Never thought I’d see the day when the Merc with a Mouth was left speechless.
Aw, damn! Now I’m making fun of myself!
Stop futzing around and get our mind back on the business at hand. Make him cum so hard he has to eat his words.
Yeah, great idea! I like it! And we don’t even have to eat his cum in return, since we’ve got him all wrapped up in latex. Go for it!
I would have smiled, if my lips had had any slack left to do it with.
I attack Logan in earnest now, swallowing his cock as far as I can and working my throat hard around it. With one hand, I take hold of his sac and start playing marbles with his balls, while the other hand jams a couple of fingers into his asshole.
This combined onslaught produces the desired effect, as he starts actively fucking my mouth so fast I can almost hear my brains rattling around inside my head. In a couple more seconds, it’s all over and I’m free to pull back and close my mouth, before he manages to dislocate my jaw with his frantic thrusting.
Judging by the expression on his face, I have clearly taken him by surprise. Before he can fully react and while his cock is still shaking with the aftershocks of the earthquake, I slide the full condom off, kiss the tip of his glans lightly and delicately, then rise to my feet and bow gracefully in the direction of the Kraut, whose changeable eyes shine with a weird orange glow I have never seen before. The surprise on his face is something I am not used to seeing either.
Logan shuffles off in the direction of the bathroom, mumbling something about cleaning himself off and taking a piss. I lower myself to the floor, leaning my back against the side of the bed and wiping the sweat and leftover cum off my face with the edge of one of the sheets.
DARKHOLME
“That vas somevhat – amusing, Vade. In a strange vay.”
“I like to put on a good show.” He shrugs, turning a bit in order to face me. “But it was nothing, compared to what you and Logan did. Him holding you like that? It was so damn hot. But --”
“But vhat?”
“I just don’t understand how you could let him do that to you.”
“Do vhat?” I have no idea what is bothering him so.
“Hold you – like a – like a sissy– like – uh –”
Understanding dawns. “You mean, like a voman, don’t you?” I say coldly.
He looks away from me, as if ashamed or embarrassed in some strange way. “Yeah. I guess.”
“Hmph! Do I look like a voman to you?”
He squints his eyes and looks at with his head turned slightly sideways. “Well, if seen from a certain angle, you could be kind of cute.”
“As cute as you vere vhen you dressed up to try to kill Bobby?”
“Hey, that was business, not pleasure.”
“But you kind of enjoyed it, ja?”
“Yeah, I guess. At least until he blew me out the window, anyway.”
“Seriously, do you think I couldn’t have gotten avay from Logan if I vanted to?”
“I know you could, the way you teleport and all. But you just let that overgrown weasel maul you.”
“Veasel?”
“A wolverine is a type of weasel, in case you didn’t know.”
“You’re evading the issue.”
“Yeah, well, some things need to be evaded. I’m no sissy boy.”
I am beginning to get annoyed by this foolishness. “In case you haven’t noticed, neither am I, Arshloch!”
By now, I’m just about angry enough to give Wade a clout on the side of his head if he comes up with one more stupid remark. Fortunately, Logan picks this moment to come out of the bathroom.
“Aw right, aw right, tone it down a little, you two! Darkholme, you’ve got the right of it, but arguing ain’t gonna convince him.”
He stretches out on the bed behind me, one arm going casually around my waist as he nuzzles my neck. My anger cools as a pleasant shiver courses up my spine.
“How about we all have a beer or two and relax for a bit? Wade, there’s some in my fridge. Be a good boy and get us a couple a cans, will ya?”
“Sure. Wouldn’t want to disturb you guys. You look so comfy lying there on the bed together.”
Logan whacks him over the head with the pillow.
“OK, OK. I can take a hint,” he protests as he gets up and goes for the beer.
LOGAN
It’s real nice lying here against him with his head on my chest as I suck down a few more beers. I won’t get drunk, even if I drink the entire contents of my fridge, but I might get just a little mellow for a short time.
As usual, Wade is the one to break the peaceful silence.
“So, are you guys still interested in women?”
We stare at him dubiously.
“I mean, all this hasn’t, like, turned you against the ladies, has it?”
“No, of course not. But the way we’ve been livin’ lately, when would we have time to look for women? Unless, of course, you’ve got your eye on Betsy.”
“No, thanks. A telepathic lover isn’t exactly my cup of tea.” He turns his attention to Darkholme. “How about you? I hear tell that you found Meggan quite attractive for a minute there.”
“Ja, I did. She is a lovely voman. I vould take her to bed in a minute, but she already belongs to someone else.” I can hear an undertone in his voice that belies his words, but I don’t understand exactly why. Maybe he does have some kind of problem with women.
“Male, female, not that much difference. Sex is sex, Wade. And it feels great no matter how you get it, even if it’s just by yourself. Love --” I shrug. “Well, that’s something else.”
It gets quiet again. Wade fetches us more beer.
Unfortunately, the quiet gives me too much time to think. It feels so good to have Darkholme in my arms, but is it really him, or just the reminder of how it felt with Kurt? As usual, the guilt isn’t far behind. Am I somehow betraying Kurt’s memory by fucking Darkholme? But what can I do? I can’t refrain from sex for the rest of my life, just because he’s dead. He wouldn’t want that.
But it isn’t just the sex, and I know it. It’s the fact that it’s with someone who is so like Kurt in many ways, but very different inside.
But is it turning into love? I just don’t trust my feelings for Darkholme. And I certainly can’t trust him the way I could Kurt. It really isn’t the same as my relationship with Kurt. This is just his look-alike, not him. Never will be him. Never should even be expected to be him.
Am I starting to care for Darkholme for himself, instead of who he resembles? Do I even want to? Or maybe the real question is do I even dare?
Darkholme drains his current bottle of beer, then gets up. He heads for the bathroom, and we hear the sound of him pissing in the toilet.
Wade glances at me, then looks down at his hands, studiously inspecting his fingernails. " You know, I been calling some of the folks we both know, asking them about you and Kurt Wagner." Wade looks a little sheepish. Damn, didn't know that was possible for him. "In part, it was to figure out what's going on between you and our Kraut. We're all buds here, right? I gotta check on my buds. Anyway, one thing I kept hearing over and over was that you never cried when Kurt died, all you did was get pissed off."
“So?”
He still isn’t looking at me. “So don’t you realize all that anger is nothing but a mask to hide your true feelings? If you had the guts to look behind it, you just might be able to let it go and move on.”
“Not your business,” I tell him flatly, unwilling or unable to even consider this seriously.
Wade shrugs, then asks me offhandedly, “Looks as if you two are getting mighty cozy lately. You sure it’s just the sex?”
Same thing I was just asking myself, but that’s not for Wade to know. “What else would it be?”
“Well, maybe something more serious?”
“We aren’t lovers. Why would you even suggest that?”
“It might be the way you were lying there together. Then again, it could also be the expression on your face. Not all angry, the way you usually are. A person might almost think you really care about him.”
I give a non-committal grunt. When Darkholme returns from the bathroom, he settles himself next to me again, draping an arm across my chest and laying his head on my shoulder, looking as if he’s about to fall asleep. If he heard what we were talking about, he doesn’t give any indication that he has.
“Man, if only I had a camera so I could get a photo of this.” Wade mimics holding a camera and aims it at us. “Wolverine in love.”
This is too much. “Can it, Wade. Before I lose my temper.”
“Oooh, do that, please! Pop those claws. The Kraut will probably come if you do. He loves that kind of thing.”
“Wade.” I put a warning into that one word.
He raises his hands as if to ward me off. “OK, OK, I get it. You don’t want him to know how much you care.”
Aw, shit! I can feel Darkholme tense in my arms, even though he doesn’t open his eyes. “It ain’t that.”
“What is it then? You and the other Kurt were lovers, so what could be easier than bringing this one into your bed to take his place?”
I try not to wince. “Not that simple. If anything, that just makes it worse.”
“So let me get this straight: does that mean that if he looked like me, for instance, you’d feel better about all this?”
“Yes. Uh – no. Uh – shit, I don’t know!” I glance down at the top of Darkholme’s head. He has remained silent throughout our discussion, so I have no idea what he’s thinking. “Sorry, buddy. Ain’t your fault. I am just totally fucked up.”
The golden-orange eyes open. His reply takes me by surprise.
“Have you ever considered that this might be just as difficult for me? Although your doppelgänger in my universe vas originally allied vith us, at present he’s a traitor und the new successor to Apocalypse. Just as you can’t help seeing the Kurt you remember vhen you look at me, I can’t help seeing the Logan I knew vhen I look at you.”
“I really hadn’t thought of that, until now. Too wrapped up in myself, I guess,” I admit.   “You’re right. It’s not easy for either of us, but at least you and your Logan weren’t lovers.”
“How do you know?”
“You mean – ?”
“I mean nothing, except that you’re assuming vhat you cannot possibly know.”
Wade puts in his two cents’ worth at this point. “This is beginning to sound like a lovers’ quarrel.”
My anger gets the best of me and I start to get up. “Damnit, Wade, I’ve had about enough of your –”
Two fingers and a thumb clamp down hard on my shoulder, holding me back as Darkholme says quietly, “I am not sure either one of us has the inclination, or the courage, to really love anyone anymore.”
I can’t argue with that. I lie back down next to him, my anger defused by his words.
An awkward silence settles over the three of us, broken, as usual, by our resident loudmouth.
“Look, you’re making this way too complicated.” He points a finger directly at me. “You like sex with him, right?”
I nod shortly.
“And you like it too, right?” he goes on, aiming the finger at Darkholme.
“Ja. So?”
“So just do it on that basis, OK? Affection, love, betrayal – forget all that.” He gives his advice a moment to sink in. “Logan, you can’t betray a dead man, no matter what you do. That love you had for Kurt was there and will always be a part of you. Doesn’t make any difference if you screw every other man or woman in the world, or even in that big universe of worlds out there. Doesn’t change the past. Doesn’t change what you had with him.”
I couldn’t let that stand unchallenged. “But what would he feel about it, if he knew I was doing this?”
“Doesn’t matter. Kurt Wagner is dead.”
“He is OK vith it,” Darkholme says softly.
We both turn to him and react. “Huh?” “How do ya –“
“He told me.” Darkholme pushes himself up to a sitting position and addresses me directly. “Remember that first time ve did it, und ve both saw him standing beside us aftervards?”
I nod, while Wade registers serious surprise. “You’re kidding. Aren’t you?”
“Nein,” he says to Wade, his eyes still on me. “I didn’t tell you then, but he said, ‘Take care of him, please’ to me. He knows und he’s OK vith it.”
I turn away, choking back the tears that come to my eyes. For once, Wade has the sense to keep silent and allow me to digest this.
“Darkholme?” I say when I have my voice under control again.
“Ja?”
“Thanks.”
WADE
This is getting just too weird for me. Dead men talk to them? And I thought I was crazy. Maybe I can get us back on topic.
“There,” I state jauntily. “We got all that out of the way. Everybody feels better now. So how about another round, and I don’t mean beer? I’m ready, if you guys are.”
The Kraut is the first to react. “Vade, that’s about the most artless come-on I have ever heard.”
“So what? I’m not proposing marriage and eternal love; just more hot sex. Anything about that you two can’t handle?”
They glance at each other.
“Nothing at all,” Darkholme replies.
Logan shakes off whatever mood has been bothering him and says to the Kraut, “Remember I said arguing wouldn’t work to convince him? Well, maybe something else will.”
Without further ado, the Wolverine shifts over onto his elbows and knees on the bed, as Darkholme stands up. “Go ahead, Wade. Fuck me. If you’re not too sure of how it’s done, I’m sure my Kraut can give ya some pointers.”
He’s putting me on. He doesn’t mean it. If I try to do that, he’s gonna turn on me and show me who’s boss.
Bullshit! You’re strong enough to defend yourself. You won’t get hurt.
Yeah, I will. I’ve seen him fight. He can take me down, I know it. Then he’ll shove that fat cock up my virgin ass.
Oh, so now you’re afraid of a little pain. You’ve become a regular wuss, haven’t you? Despite your good looks and your considerable strength, you don’t have what it takes since you lost that healing factor of yours. I’m ashamed.
It’s not the pain I’m afraid of.
No? Then what is it?
As I stand there arguing with myself, the Kraut decides to get this show on the road, announcing cheerfully, “He likes it if you start vith this,” he smacks Logan’s upturned ass hard, once on either side. “Und this,” he continues, this time using the flat end of his tail to whack the backs of Logan’s thighs. “But you can’t do that last part, can you? Too bad.”
What it is, is that if I let him do that to me, I’m – I won’t be – I mean, what kind of a man would that make me?
The kind who likes to take it up the ass.
But I’m not. I’m a real man, not some kind of a sissy boy.
So now Logan’s a sissy boy?
No. That would be impossible. He’s –
Right now, all I see is that he’s offering his ass to you and he’s waiting for you to show him that you’re the kind of man who can take him up on that offer.
Darkholme grins at me as he gets a container of Crisco out of the top drawer of the dresser. Dipping one hand into the greasy stuff, he rubs it liberally onto Logan’s asshole. Then he looks at me and lifts one eyebrow questioningly.
When I don’t respond, he starts working both of his fingers around and then into Logan, who appears to be enjoying this, judging by the look on his face and the way he’s breathing.
“He’s all yours, big man,” Darkholme tells me, as he steps aside.
What’s the matter? Scared you can’t do it? You could ask the Kraut to show you how. He’s sure not afraid.
No! I can do it.
By now, I have grabbed my own gob of goo and begun spreading it along my dick, which is clearly indicating its own readiness to accomplish its mission.
So what are you waiting for? You’ve already got an engraved invitation.
What if – what if he expects me to let him do it to me in return?
Deal with that if it happens. Be a man.
You’re laughing at me! I can hear it in your voice. Stop it!
Make me.
Another voice, one that I hear very seldom, broke in on us, sounding totally exasperated.   You two stop arguing and fuck him already!
I crouch over Logan, grab his hips, and shove myself hard up his waiting ass.
DARKHOLME
I had no idea what was going through Wade’s head as he stood there, but I figured he could use a little encouragement, so I gave it to him.
It took him a few minutes of hesitation, but when he finally got with the program, he didn’t waste any time.
I intend only to step back and watch the two of them going at it, but it’s just so hot seeing Wade’s cock pistoning in and out of Logan’s ass, forcing the same guttural noises from his lips that I am accustomed to hearing whenever we fuck; the tight straining muscles of both men, their bodies locked together in their common striving for satisfaction.
I cannot simply watch. I must join them.
I kneel beside the narrow creaking bed, reaching a hand down under Logan’s belly to take hold of his sex. He jerks forward with each of Wade’s thrusts, but when he feels my fingers close around his balls, he stiffens and throws back his head. They have already drawn up tightly against his groin, but I squeeze and pull none too gently, forcing them down into the bottom of his sac then holding them there. My knuckles dig into the tender place between his anus and his scrotum, putting pressure on the deep root of his cock and above that, his prostate.
Between what Wade is doing and what I’m doing, I know Logan has to be almost ready to come, but still I hold his testicles tightly, slowing his response for a few more achingly long moments.
“What the fuck do ya think yer doin’?” Logan demands in a low growl.
“You mean the Kurt you knew never got rough vith you?” I whispered mockingly.
“Not like this.”
“Vell, I’m not him, remember?” I twist hard on his balls, making him gasp.
My tail immediately joins my hand, ready for what I intend to do next. Meanwhile, Wade is thrusting frantically.
“Oh, shit, I’m gonna –”
Before he can even say come or release his load, the hard tip of my tail rakes over the end of Logan’s cock and I release my hold on his balls. He lets out a groan of combined pleasure and pain, as Wade thrusts in hard and deep, his body jerking to the spasms of orgasm. My tail rubs roughly along the bottom of Logan’s quivering cock, milking every last drop out of him and into my waiting hand.
When Logan flops over unto his back to catch his breath, I rub his cum onto his hairy belly then tell our newly-initiated sodomizer, “Be a good boy, Vade, und use your big mouth to clean him up.”
Wade looks at me, looks at Logan, then kneels by the bed and does what he’s told.
LOGAN
I must admit that Darkholme rather surprised me. He’s more inventive than I had thought, not to mention more perverted. I do enjoy Wade’s tongue licking me though. That was a nice touch.
Part of me would like to just turn over and go to sleep after so much sex, or maybe smoke a nice cigar, but I don’t think either option would go over so good with my present companions.
Wade finishes what he’s doing and leans back, looking rather like a good puppy who expects a pat on his head. Darkholme, meanwhile, stands leaning back against the wall watching us, his cock at half mast.
I sit up and stretch, working the kinks out of my muscles. Something occurs to me then, but do I dare to do it, or would it hurt too much? Oh hell, when have I ever been afraid of a little pain?
“Seems to me you’re the only one who still needs to get his rocks off, Kraut. I’m afraid it’ll be a while before either Wade or I will be up for anything.” I stop just long enough for them to absorb the weak pun. “But I’ve got an idea for something a bit different.”
Going over to my dresser and pulling open the bottom drawer, I take out a large shoebox and set it on the bed. “This is where I store some of my toys.” In actuality, this is where I store the toys Kurt and I used to like best. I have the rest of my stuff elsewhere.
I lay everything out neatly on the bed. “See anything you like, Darkholme?” I ask, as he comes over to see what I’m doing.
“I am – not sure.”
“You mean you never played with these kinds of toys before?” I say playfully, trying to copy the tone of voice Darkholme used when he asked me if Kurt ever played rough. I want to keep this all nice and light, with no heavy drama.
He recognizes the joke and gives a short laugh. Wade has already started sorting through the various items on the bed, picking up each one and studying it carefully before replacing it. I will allow this, although some part of me sees it as sacrilege.
“All right, I get most of this stuff, but what on earth is this thing for? It’s the kind of brush you use on a pet, a slicker brush, I think it’s called, when it has these short skinny wires on it.”
On a level I’m not willing to acknowledge, this is tearing me up. I haven’t opened this box since Kurt’s death.
“Yep,” I agree. “Works great on short fur.”
“Oh. Okay.” Picking up something else, he continues, “Let’s see if I’ve got all this right. This black rubbery thing is a butt plug.”
I nod.
“And these are obviously wrist and ankle cuffs.”
“They vould never hold a teleporter,” Darkholme puts in. So far he has not touched anything, but he’s eyeing me warily.
“He didn’t want to get away,” I reply shortly.
As Wade continues sorting through things, Darkholme stands quietly beside me, as if he somehow understands the feelings I am trying so hard not to feel but just to accept.
Finally, he reaches down and picks up something, holding it up to the light and examining it slowly. It’s a translucent dark cobalt blue glass dildo with a circular base, shaped like an erect penis. Beautifully detailed, it has a network of engorged veins running along the shaft and a bulbous head protruding from an obviously wrinkled and retracted foreskin, so realistic that it even includes a carefully molded frenulum plus the small dimple of a pee hole at the tip. He says nothing, but slowly traces a finger over the various details, as Wade continues sorting through everything else.
“Oh, look at this nice little wooden paddle. I’ll bet I can figure out how it’s meant to be used.” He mimics grabbing and lifting a tail up and out of the way, while whacking the ass beneath it. Clearly, he has figured out by now who I once used these toys on. This irritates me, but I am determined to keep control.
“Damn it, Wade, is nothing sacred?” I ask in a tone of obviously mock anger, in order to cover the real hurt and outrage underneath.
“Sacred? A box of sex toys?” He shakes his head hopelessly. “Brother, have you ever got your priorities mixed up.”
I laugh, hoping it doesn’t sound too forced. Meanwhile, Darkholme is still examining the dildo.
“This is sehr schön,” he finally says to me.
I nod. “It’s my favorite.”
“It is almost the same color as I am.” He glances down at his now hard prick and adds, “But it is considerable larger und longer than I am.”
Wade, as usual, has a smartass comment to make to Darkholme. “Maybe that’s why it’s his favorite. Reminds him of you on steroids.”
Darkholme gives me a look, as if he realizes very clearly who this dildo actually reminds me of. Wade seems oblivious, but by this time, I’m not sure he isn’t putting on the same sort of nonchalant act that I am, only better.
“Yeah,” I reply evenly. “Something like that. Let’s just say it’s got some good memories associated with it. Some of these others are smaller, but this one is kinda special.” Darkholme hands it to me. I feel the cool hard glass against my palm. Then I look at him speculatively. “It’s not all that wide, once the head gets in.”
DARKHOLME
I know what Logan is asking.   He used this one on his Kurt, and he could take it. Can I? I’m not too sure, but I know he’d very much like me to try. I can hear it in his voice. Besides, after what I said earlier to Wade about not being a sissy, I’ve got something I need to prove to him also.
“So what do you think?” Logan asks me with a sort of casual deliberateness. “Can you handle it?”
“Aber natürlich,” I assure him, sounding far more confident than I truly am.
Wade realizes what’s going on and helpfully clears everything off the bed, packing it away into the box.
“Lie down on your stomach,” Logan tells me.
I comply, cradling my forehead on my arms with my legs and tail straight out behind me. I fully expect him to lift my ass and start working on me, but instead he sits on the bed alongside me, stroking my back.
I love the feel of his hands on my body, his palms running down my back. I’ve always loved being touched, stroked, held. Linda knew that. She would – No, I will not think of her. I can’t. Not now.
But why do I find it so pleasant? Is it the fur? Am I like a cat that takes such pleasure in grooming itself and seems to enjoy being petted as a kind of extra grooming? Maybe fur just needs to be stroked, and my body knows that by instinct. Ah, Gott, das ist so gut!
Wade’s voice interrupts my reverie. “Here, see if he likes this.”
“What is it? Oh. Yeah, give it to me.”
A new feeling replaces Logan’s hand, a sharper, scratchier sensation. That brush? Ja, I am being groomed like a cat. Should I be insulted? No, I think not. It feels nice, the tiny wires making delicate furrows through my short fur. It would hurt if it were pressed down much harder, but all it is now is a pleasant light scratching along the entire length of my back, starting each time at my shoulders and running all the way down to my buttocks.
Umm! Delicious! No wonder cats enjoy being brushed.
By the time Logan has worked his way across my entire back, I feel sleek and invigorated, the skin beneath my fur tingling and alive as never before. I’m almost ready to beg him to brush all the rest of my body, but something else reminds me that it is also very much alive and wants attention, so I remain quiet.
Logan begins massaging my buttocks, squeezing and kneading the muscles, sometimes wrapping his fingers around my tail and drawing his encircling fist down its entire length. Finally, he takes hold of my hips, lifting them until I can draw my knees up tight beneath me.
I drape my tail carefully off to one side, opening my knees as far apart as I can to allow him better access to my entrance. An obliging finger strokes that hypersensitive place just below the base of my tail and I whimper with longing.
He spreads my cheeks further, and a warm wet tongue licks my puckered hole, sending tiny quivers of pleasure through my groin. Then a finger slides into me, slick with oil. And a second finger. I know the drill. He will stretch me open as far as he can, and then that beautiful blue glass cock will follow the path his fingers have prepared.
That beautiful BIG glass cock, I remind myself, involuntarily tensing against the thought.
His fingers curl and gently stroke my insides. “Easy, buddy. Relax. It won’t be that bad,” he whispers in my ear. Ja, easy for him to say.
A third finger enters me. “I’m going to stretch you . Let it happen.”
As he spreads his fingers slowly apart, I feel the burning sting of skin and muscle pulled too taut. I can’t do this, and if I can’t do this, how will I ever do what comes next? I must tell him to stop.
As if he’s read my mind, he asks quietly, “Do you still want it, darlin’? You don’t have to, you know.”
But I do have to. Or, at least, I must make the attempt.
“I vill try.”
The cool hard knob of glass replaces his fingers, pressing lightly against me, then twisting and turning as he starts to work it in.
Why am I doing this? Just what the fuck am I trying to prove? And to whom? Why this need to compete against a dead man?
His tongue licks over that sensitive place beneath my tail, swirling around and over, pressing now hard, now softly. My entire lower body thrills to the sensations, burning, melting, everything dissolving into a strange bliss. In this moment, I want to open myself to him entirely. But that isn’t all. I want to open myself wide enough to take in the entire world in all its glorious beauty. Briefly, I wonder if a woman ever feels this way, when a man first begins to open her. An insane but joyous feeling, as if one could accept the entire universe into one’s body and make love to it forever.
Tears come into my eyes unbidden, as the smooth glass slides the rest of the way through me and into me. The burning, stretching pain peaks and then diminishes, leaving only a satisfying fullness, a fullness that seems to mirror and somehow enhance the fullness in my cock.
From then on, I ride on waves of growing ecstasy, as he controls the ebb and flow of pleasure with the motion of the dildo. It doesn’t take much, just a subtle twist or push. Certainly not the insistent driving pumping of a live penis. This is controlled by a hand, not by an entire body that is also striving to reach its own orgasm, but by a partner consciously using it to prolong my pleasure, rather than consummate his own.
Something deep inside me wants this, needs this. Not just the sex. Not just the pleasure. Something more. I want to hold this man and be held by him. I want him beside me, in bed and in battle. I want to rely on his strength, and know he relies on mine. I want him to admire and respect me as I have gotten to admire and respect him. I want him to --- no, I cannot go there. I cannot want his love. The world is too terrible a place to ever risk that again. Besides, he cannot love me. He loves his Kurt. There is no room in his heart for anyone else.
But – oh! – this is just so sublime! I cannot find the words to describe it. I can only feel it. And I am filled with wonder.
Just before I reach my peak and come, I realize this same glass cock has doubtless been up his Kurt’s ass many times and caused this same feeling in him. But now it is mine, and I can claim it as my own.
Then he starts working the dildo out of me, carefully. The head hurts a bit, but not like before. Logan pulls me into his arms and lays me down beside him, whispering in my ear, “Ya felt that, didn’t ya, Kurt? I knew you would.”
My world crashes down around me when he calls me by that other man’s name. But I will not react, not yet.
WADE
I sit cross-legged on the floor next to the bed, watching the action. Neither of them seems to take any notice of me. I can’t see the Kraut’s face, but I can see his body react to what Logan is doing, and I can hear his soft astonished-sounding moans. Logan handles him so carefully, moving the dildo around with such care and attention, and Darkholme submits to it without the least hesitation. In fact, he seems to be loving every second of it. When he comes, he convulses as if his body wants to turn inside out, without anything touching his dick at all.
Logan removes the dildo with the same exaggerated care he has been using all along. The Kraut gives a slight moan of pain as the head of that blue cock comes out, but he doesn’t move. Logan stretches out on the bed, at the same time pulling Darkholme against him and into his arms. He holds our blue friend tenderly, as if he is the most valuable thing in the world. For his part, the Kraut snuggles happily into the Wolverine’s arms, with no concern whatsoever for the deadly claws that can slice a man to bits with very little effort. How can he do that? How could he let Logan --?
You ass! Haven’t you figured out by now that it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference who puts what into who?
Whom.
Huh?

It should be whom, not who.
Very funny, but that’s not the point. The point is that only one man in this room has lived so long that he’s had time to experience and learn a lot about life and sex. And that one man clearly learned that lesson a long time ago. The furry Kraut is learning, but he still has a way to go, no matter what he pretends. But look at Logan. Look at his eyes. Look at the tenderness in the way he holds and touches his friend. And remember Darkholme’s face the last time, and the easy way he could yield his body to Logan’s desire. Do you see weakness and shame between them?
Cowed, all I can do is admit:   No. All I see is love.
Shh. Don’t try to tell them that. They aren’t ready to hear it. Maybe someday they will be, but not now.
You mean I should keep my big mouth shut?
Exactly.
As Logan and his Kraut recover from their exertions, I sit there in silence, my hands resting on my thighs, quiet as a monk in the midst of meditation, biting my tongue to keep it out of trouble.
Then Darkholme stands up, and I realize from his posture and the stiff way he moves that there’s trouble in paradise.
LOGAN
We no sooner catch our breath than Darkholme gets up abruptly, announcing that he really needs to take a shower. He heads for the bathroom, taking the dildo with him, presumably planning to wash it off. I’m a bit puzzled by his sudden desire to be clean, but we’re all pretty sweaty and sticky by now, so I suppose it’s not that strange. After all, with his fur, it must be worse for him than for Wade and me.
The water starts running in the shower. Wade finally breaks his unaccustomed silence.
“He’s pissed off about something, you know.”
“Nah. He just wants to get cleaned up.”
“Nah,” I repeat emphatically. “You did something he didn’t like.”
“He seemed to be enjoyin’ himself.”
“Yeah. But something’s wrong now. Count on it. You better go out and get a bunch of roses and a box of chocolates. That always patches things up.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake! What do you think he is, anyway?”
“Right now, a pissed off Kraut. Hey, would that be the same as a sauerkraut? Get it? Sour Kraut?”
“Yeah, Wade, I get it. Now shut yer trap and let me take a little rest here.” I turn over on my bed, so that my back is to him. Maybe that will discourage him for a while. Or better yet, maybe he’ll just take the hint and go back to his room.
He doesn’t. The next thing I know, he’s snuggling up behind me on the bed. “Can I hug you like you were hugging your Kraut? It looked real comfy.”
The shower turns off. If Darkholme really is mad about something, this isn’t going to help the situation any.
“Fer Christ’s sake, you idiot, get up!” When he doesn’t move, I turn over and shove him away from me. He ends up on the floor.
“OK, OK. I get it. You don’t want me around when you have to face the music for whatever it is you did.”
Maybe he’s right at that.
“Just let me get my clothes together and I’ll be out of here. It’s been fun. We must do this again sometime.”
Darkholme picks that moment to come out of my bathroom. He has a towel around his hips and is drying himself with another towel with one hand and carrying the dildo in the other.
“Now, there’s a strange sight,” Wade says. “A blue guy walking around with a blue cock in one hand. Almost like it’s detachable or something. Maybe you’d better ditch those towels, Kraut, so we can tell for sure that you’re all there.”
Darkholme looks definitely unamused, but he is rather an odd sight.
Even though his first joke fell flat, Wade just doesn’t know when to give up. He runs a finger down the other man’s back as he walks past.
“Ewh! You’re all soggy and damp, like a wet dog. Good thing you don’t smell like a wet dog too. Here, gimme that towel so I can dry off your back.”
Darkholme doesn’t seem to know how to deal with our suddenly manic companion. He gives up the towel to Wade, who does indeed begin rubbing his back with it. Then Wade steps back, screws up his face, and
puts one hand to his chin as if he’s considering some problem. “Hmm. This just isn’t going to do the trick. Maybe we need a blow dryer. Nah, that might make you get all puffy-looking, like some kind of blue Persian cat.”
I have to stifle a laugh at the indignant expression on Darkholme’s face when he’s compared to a Persian cat.
Wade reconsiders his description.
“No, I guess not. Your fur’s not long enough for that. A cat, maybe. A Persian, no. But I do need another towel.”
Before Darkholme can react, Wade has stripped off the towel from his hips and begun vigorously working on his ass and tail.
I see murder flaming in Darkholme’s glowing eyes. “Wade, you’d better cut that out.”
He ignores my warning. Glancing around Darkholme’s shoulder, he notes the limp blue dick with apparent surprise. “Oh, look! It’s not detachable after all!”
The Kraut has had enough. With a nasty swipe of his tail and a twist of his body, he knocks his tormentor off balance and stumbling across the room. Wade fetches up against the edge of my dresser, with the other man right behind him. Darkholme spins him around and delivers a vicious uppercut to Wade’s jaw before I can get there to break this up.
Wade drops heavily to the floor, while I get hold of Darkholme, pinning his arms to his sides. Incongruously, he still has the dildo in his hand. It’s probably lucky he didn’t cold-cock Wade with it.
“Stop this! Now!” I demand. “We’re teammates, not enemies!”
His sudden rage discharged, Darkholme is ready to listen to reason, which is lucky, as I know I can’t hold him for long against his will.
Wade pushes himself up to a sitting position, ruefully rubbing his jaw. “Whoa! Damn, Kraut, I was only kidding around. You didn’t have to do all that. A simple ‘Shut up, you asshole!’ would have been sufficient.”
“Tut mir leid, Vade,” he says apologetically. “Sometimes my temper gets the best of me.” Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, he continues, “You can let me go now, Logan. I promise I vill not turn him into Wiener schnitzel.”
“That’s good,” Wade replies. “I’d be way too tough and stringy for that anyway.”
I let him go. He extends a hand to Wade, helping him get to his feet.
“OK,” Wade says shakily. “No hard feelings, right? I’ll just gather up my clothes and get out of here. I could use a shower myself about now.”
I pick up his scattered leathers and offer them to him without a word.
“Thanks. Oh, and Logan? Think about some of the stuff we talked about earlier, huh? I was serious.”
“I know you were.”
He heads for the door, but then turns back to us.
“As for you, Kraut, don’t you think it’s about time you looked behind that mask you always wear?”
There’s a brittle layer of frost in Darkholme’s voice as he replies, “Unlike you und Logan, I do not hide my face.”
Wade snorts, his hand on the doorknob. He fixes Darkholme with a stern glance. "Just because you're not into covering your face with spandex doesn't mean you're not wearing a mask."
With that, he walks out the door.
“Vhat is he talking about?”
“Dunno.” But I do know. Very well. I just ain’t sayin’.
DARKHOLME
I have had about enough of this. I start for the door, but Logan grabs my arm and draws me back.
“Ya sure you’re OK? You look kind of freaked out.”
“I am fine. I vill go now.”
“Wait a minute, huh?”
“Vhat for?”
“Well, for one thing, you’ve still got my dildo in your hand.”
“Oh. Ja.” I glance down at my hand, and the hurt starts to burn behind my eyes again. “You used to use this on him, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. And sometimes the other way around.”
“Here.”
I give him the dildo. He looks at it intently while he asks me, “Somethin’s wrong, ain’t it? I can tell from the way you’ve gotten all prickly-like.”
“I suppose he did that too, vhen he got mad at you?”
“No, can’t say he did.” He looks at me. “Your eyes are kinda orangey now, and I don’t think it’s from desire. Do they change color when you get pissed off too?”
I don’t answer.
“What did I do, buddy? I didn’t hurt ya, did I? You seemed to be enjoyin’ it OK.”
I still don’t respond, just narrowing my eyes enough to make them look really sinister. Maybe that will scare him off.
“You didn’t have to let me do that, ya know? I wasn’t gonna try to force you –”
“You could not force me if you vanted to.”
He just shrugs. “There’s other kinds of force besides the physical kind.” He hesitates and I think I’m going to have a chance to escape. But no.
“Look, I know that had to hurt some, even though I tried to be careful. Why did you let me do it?”
“To show you that I could.”
Logan is quiet for a little too long. “Because he could. Right?”
I nod.
“Ya didn’t hafta do that. Kurt and I had a lotta years together. You’re still new at this. He wasn’t.”
“Macht nichts.”
“Yes, it does matter. It ain’t a competition between you and him. There’s nothin’ ya need to prove to me.”
“You think not?”
“I’m not measuring you by him.”
“You really vanted to use that on me. I could tell.”
“Maybe I did. But it wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you.”
“Vhat did you vant?” He does not answer, only looks away from me. “Then I shall tell you. You vanted to feel that lovely blue glass cock go up his lovely blue ass again. You vanted to see it, so you could forget it vas me und remember how it vas vith him.”
“No. You’re wrong about that.”
“You called me Kurt!” I finally spit out.
He thinks about it for a long moment. “That’s your name, ain’t it?”
“You know vhat I mean!”
“Yes, I do know what you mean. You thought I was pretending you were him, or maybe that I was so carried away that I couldn’t tell the difference. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Ja. Vhat else could it be?”
“Kurt –”
He reaches out for me. Furious, I turn away, but he grabs my arm and spins me around.
“No, I don’t mean him. I mean you. Calm down a minute and listen to me, will ya?”
I give a short nod. Yes, I will listen. I don’t expect it to do any good, but I will listen, if only because I want to know what sort of bullshit he will make up to deceive me.
Holding up the blue dildo in front of him, he runs a finger slowly down over the shaft. “Ya know, there are some advantages to be had from this doppelgänger business. I have a pretty good idea what would feel good to you because I know so well what felt good to my Kurt.” He hesitates for a minute, almost as if it’s difficult for him to go on. Then he seems to make up his mind to continue. “And when I did that, I realized that you are my Kurt now. I never meant to hurt you or insult you. I only wanted you to feel it, and enjoy it, just like you did. I wanted to know I was the one making you come the way you did.”  He looks directly into my eyes. “Maybe – maybe I wanted to know I could give you the same pleasure I so often gave him, hoping you could appreciate it as much as he did, and – and realize what it meant.”
Have I really so much misunderstood him? Can that possibly be true? Yes, since he would never say anything like that to another man unless he meant it. He does see me, not just his Kurt. I don’t know how to handle this. I never expected it to happen. Now what do I do? I could hurt him. I could make him leave me alone. I could –
My thoughts are interrupted by his voice, which now lacks the assured and confident tone that is characteristic of him.
“Is it OK if I call you Kurt, as long as I don’t call you Elf?”
I may not know what to do, but my body does. I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his chest, pressing my naked body hard against his, and do the most intimate thing I can think of, something we have seldom done before. I kiss him. My lips part slightly, inviting his tongue to explore my mouth, as my tail winds itself around our hips. He takes my invitation, our tongues dancing around each other. Or maybe they are dueling. It is hard to tell. His arms clamp tight around me with a controlled strength, and something inside me melts. I open my mouth wider, as we continue our dancing duel.
It is an expression of all the things I cannot say out loud. I do not know if he realizes that or not. I hope he does.
German Translations
Sehr schön!                  Very nice/pretty/beautiful!
Sehr geil!                      Very hot/sexy!
Arschloch!           Asshole!
Aber natürlich              But of course
Ah Gott, das ist so gut!                  Ah God, that’s so good!
Macht nichts.               Doesn’t matter.

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Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks)

THE REST OF MY LOGURT STORIES