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Sparkles and Cake	By : cathayshu Category: X-men Comics > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1216 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Sparkles and Cake
- 1
Logan pulled up the debriefing files for the latest battle and began reading. Trying to just ask what happened to Kurt was turning out to be futile; everybody scattered once they got back to the Mansion.

He found X-23 did make a clinical mention that:

Nightcrawler was found incapacitated in a prone position on the ground. No bleeding wounds or blunt trauma. Altered state of mind.

Logan glanced at Kurt. He was laying on his back in bed, running on all fours with his arms and legs in the air like a sleeping hound dog. He was, however, decidedly not sleeping at all.

Altered state of mind, Logan snorted. X-23 had a gift for understatement.

Hank had a look at Kurt immediately after the whole fracas and declared that inconvenient as it would be, all of the Pixie Dust Kurt inhaled would have to exit his system normally. The Pixie Dust didn't have any long term negative affects from either the absurdly large dosage or prolonged inhalation, in his professional opinion.

Which was small comfort to Logan seeing as for the past hour Kurt couldn't seem to say anything except German nursery rhymes. Logan had been shot in the face with Pixie Dust a couple times and he didn't get anything more annoying than seeing unicorns all over the place.

Kurt was silent now, running and running. Maybe he was chasing his own unicorns.

As Logan watched, Kurt's windmilling tail slowly tilted him sideways and his flailing limbs found purchase on the bed. Kurt catapulted himself head first at the wall before Logan could react.

“Hey!” Logan went to him.

Kurt had curled up in a fetal position on the floor, making hurt noises and clutching at his head.

“You okay?”

“Hoppe hoppe Reiter, wenn er fällt, dann schreit er,” Kurt sang.

“...Uh. Okay,” Logan pulled him into a sitting position and looked at Kurt's head.

“Okay,” Kurt chirped, copying him. “Oooookaaaaay. Okay-okay-okay-okay-”

Logan bit back his annoyance since this was the first time Kurt was saying something that he could understand. Progress and all that jazz.

He couldn't just put Kurt back onto the bed, since he'd probably just launch himself again chasing whatever it was that he was seeing. He was prevented from any further planning by Kurt's tail-spade jabbing him repeatedly in the ribs.

“Stop that,” Logan instructed.

Kurt made another doofy grin and began poking him on the other side, giggling at every annoyed twitch Logan made.

Logan wasn't about to lose the modicum of dignity he had left by chasing after Kurt's tail. So he picked Kurt up, deposited him on the bed and very quickly rolled him into the covers and tying off all corners.

“There. Kurt-Burrito.”

Logan stepped back to admire his handiwork. Only Kurt's face was peeking out of the covers and he was making a woozily displeased look. Rather like a baby with gas.

“Nuh. Nuh-nuh-nuh...NoooooOOOooooo!” .

He was wriggling around but there wasn't any escaping by normal means. Luckily enough Kurt was so out of it the idea of teleporting wasn't even on the horizon.

“Sucks, don't it?”

Kurt made a face at Logan. Logan chuckled and sat down in a chair to resume his vigil. Kurt resumed his determined wriggling.

Logan was debating to himself on which of Kurt's books to read to pass the time; he didn't think he'd read Count of Monte Cristo yet, when a growl came from Kurt's direction.

He looked up. Kurt was looking more confuddled than before, which Logan didn't think was possible. There it was again, coming from Kurt's midsection.

“Oh. You're hungry, aren't you?”

Logan considered hauling Kurt-Burrito down to medbay and having Hank hook up a intravenous feed.

“...Cake?” Kurt whispered.

“I'm pretty sure that's not a good idea,” Logan replied.

“Cake. CAAAAAAAKE! Cake-cake-cake-cake-”

“Aw, hell,” Logan muttered.

There was no stopping Kurt's chanting for cake. There wasn't any stopping him when he got all determined when he was normal, much less so while he was hopped up on hallucinogens. Logan managed to endure the unending sound for a full five minutes.

“Fine! Fine, you're getting cake.”

Kurt blinked.

“...Pink?” he whispered again.

“The hell?”

“PINK! CAKE!”

“Fine! I get it, you want pink cake. You don't need to yell,” Logan held up his hands in surrender.

“Pink cake,” Kurt repeated.

Logan allowed himself a good long grumble on the drive to the nearest bakery, well out of Kurt's earshot.

When he got back into Kurt's room, Kurt-Burrito was no longer. Logan cursed under his breath upon seeing the empty covers. He put the cake down and went looking for Kurt. This entailed, simply enough, finding Betsy (because he'd be damned if he was asking Frost for any help) and getting her to track down Kurt psychically.

When informed that Kurt was in his own bathroom, unhurt, and definitely still high as a kite, Logan was relieved.

So Logan made his way back to Kurt's room again and knocked on the closed bathroom door.

“Elf?”

There was no reply, so Logan opened the door.

Kurt was on his hands and knees, industriously scrubbing at the tile grout with an old toothbrush. He was also stark naked.

“...The hell?” Logan muttered.

This in response to Kurt's bizarre state and Logan's own entirely inconvenient sudden erection. Logan wasted a few more minutes staring at Kurt's bare ass before snapping out of it.

“Elf?” he ventured. “I got the cake.”

“CAKE!”

Kurt whirled, flung the toothbrush into the air, and tackled Logan.

“Yep,” Logan replied, catching him.

Then it took some creative wrestling because Kurt was attempting to climb over him to get at the door while Logan wasn't going to let him near anything edible without first washing Kurt's hands for him to get rid of grout grime.

After that ordeal, where he got the tip of Kurt's tail-spade jammed up his nose (that freaking hurt, by the way), Kurt galloped on all fours over to where the cake was sitting on his nightstand. He stopped.

Logan would have to say that the way Kurt was staring at the cake was weird. He was staring, enthralled and naked, at pastry.

Please, Logan thought. Don't tell me that I bought a cake just so you can stare at it. (But it would make complete ironic sense that something like that would happen to me because that is what you get taking orders from somebody who is HIGH)

Kurt didn't say another word. He reached out and deftly plucked a frosting rose from the cake and went over to Logan, offering it to him.

“Oh. Thanks.”

Kurt smiled vaguely at him and returned his attention to the cake. Logan ate the frosting rose because it was starting to melt in his hand.

Since Kurt didn't seem to be doing anything besides staring some more at the cake with a blissed out expression Logan decided to find out what happened to Kurt's uniform since Kurt escaped from the covers. He went over to the bed and rummaged through the covers. Nothing.

He checked the closet. It was with the rest of Kurt's clothes and Logan was about to shut the door since the question was easily answered. But. But, you see, Logan had seen the interior of Kurt's closet once or twice and something was off about the whole thing.

So he looked at Kurt's closet again. And saw the pattern with the shirts on hangers. Short sleeve, long sleeve, short sleeve, long sleeve, and each adjacent shirt was a totally different color from each other. Logan went over to the bureau dresser and Kurt did the same illogical, counterintuitive “organizing” with his pants and shorts.

Well.

That answered the question of what Kurt was doing before he decided that cleaning tile grout naked was a good way to pass the time while high.

Kurt's stomach growled again and finally the munchies hit or something because next thing Logan saw was Kurt pretty much falling face first into the cake. His tail was wagging the whole time as he slurped and smeared frosting all over the top of his nightstand.

Logan sat down and laughed.

He laughed long enough for Kurt to demolish half of the cake. He wiped his eyes and watched as Kurt licked his hands clean of frosting. He ignored the frosting on his face and approached Logan.

“What now?”

Kurt took Logan's hand and pulled, tail still wagging.

“...What?”

Kurt pulled harder.

“CAKE.”

So Logan got up, was shoved towards the bed and made to sit down. Kurt then clambered into his lap, scooped up a handful of cake and offered it to Logan.

“Aw, look at you, sharing. Of course you would,” Logan ignored the crumbs raining down all over his clothes.

So Logan ate cake off of Kurt's fingers. It would be totally hot, except for the fact Kurt was stoned stupid still and Logan simply wasn't about to go there. Hell, Kurt's pheromones didn't even smell right while he was on Pixie Dust. He finished the rest of the cake, Kurt's tail wagged some more and without so much as a by your leave, Kurt went to sleep in Logan's lap.

Logan lay back in Kurt's bed since he was trapped and closed his eyes, manfully riding out a cake induced sugar high by rapidly drumming his fingers against the mattress while staring at the ceiling.

Kurt was working through his own sugar high in his sleep by air-running. Again.

Logan passed the time by picking at the frosting and crumbs on his shirt and making a little mound in one palm. He'll eat it after he was done. What else was he going to do?

Kurt woke to the horrid feeling of petrified frosting on the fur on his face.

“...Uuuugh...” he sat up.

“You done yet?” Logan asked, causing Kurt to jump.

“Sleeping? Yes. What happened?”

He didn't understand the satirical look on Logan's face.

“What do you remember?”

“...On mission, I intercepted a demon with a very large canister and there was an explosion and then, sparkles.”

“And that's it?”

“That's it. Why am I naked?” Kurt was wiping at his face with a hand.

“No idea, Elf. I was buying pink cake.”

Kurt was very sure that Logan was having a private joke at his expense but that wasn't as important as washing his face.

“You sniffed a lot of Pixie Dust, Elf,” Logan explained. “You were loopy for hours.”

“My head feels like it,” Kurt gingerly felt the bump on his head. “Was I very much trouble to look after?”

“Nope.”

Kurt glanced at Logan's reflection in the bathroom mirror, incredulous. Logan's expression was all seriousness.

“You'll never be trouble for me, Elf. So. You hungry? I got a hankering for sushi right about now.”

“Sushi's good,” Kurt replied.

They went out for sushi. And since Kurt didn't remember anything, Logan got him another pink cake for dessert.
- 1
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Sparkles and Cake