Pain | By : Gimpy Category: X-men Comics > Slash - Male/Male > Remy/Logan Views: 3115 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men comics, or any of the characters from it. I make no money from from the writing of this story. |
Same Disclaimer – hopefully this
cleared up some problem
That’s all I have for tonight, must sleep, hopefully more
soon. Thanx
“Why don’t you take a picture, cher.
It will last longer and it won’t tell your secrets either.”
Those
worlds kept running through his head as he stared at the ceiling in his room.
He sighed and turned to his side, and stared at the wall, it
too seemed to hold no answers to the questions that tormented him.
Grunting, he sat up and hoped to whatever deity was watching over him, there
was no one in the danger room. He quickly put on a pair of sweat pants and a
tank top, he quickly walked from his room, hurrying
past Remy’s room he made his way down stairs and sighed in relief that the
danger room was empty. Opening the door he walked in and with a loud voice he
shouted “Computer, run ‘Logan’s
Pissed’ Level 5.” He smiled it was his favorite sim, and he had been using it a
lot more lately.
~3 Months Prior~
Remy smiled at him from his place
on his lap, they had just woken up and the small amount of light that broke
through the curtains of his room as there only light, he returned the smile and
kissed the top of Remy’s head. Remy, who wanted to sleep quickly made himself comfy on his chest and promptly fell asleep. Carding
his hands through the red hair he smiled as he two
fell into sleep.
“LOGAN, I know you are in there” a voiced
yelled “Get up and meet us down in the war room, NOW.” The voice continued down
the hall “Drake get up.” “Gambit get up.”
The noise woke the two men up and Remy quickly placed a kiss
to his lips as he got up off the bed. All Logan wanted to do was to pull him
back in and go back to sleep, but he knew that if they didn’t show up soon,
some one, probably Bobby would come back up and find them, which is something he
really did not want. Sighing, he resolved himself to watch Remy quickly slip on
his boxers and the sweatshirt he had shown up in.
“Come on cher, the quicker we get
down there the quicker we get back and the quicker we can go back to bed.” Remy
said to him, though he knew that they would not be sleeping once they made it
back to bed.
“Alright, gumbo, if you insist,
just so you know you owe me.” Logan
replied as he too got up and searched for a pair of boxers, which he knew was a
little hard to find for him. Remy danced behind him and kissed his
shoulder, before whispering, “You know that I will cher,
Remy always makes good.” Hey sighed and laid his head on Logan shoulder, kissing his ear before
backing off and moving towards the door. He knew that
everyone was already downstairs so coming out of Logan’s
room would not be seen, and Logan
would not want that. He knew that he was in love with Logan,
he had been for a long time, and he hoped that Logan felt the same way, but he was never
sure. With most people he could read there emotions, but with Logan he could only read anger and pain or a
blank slate of existence, never love or happiness, and sadly enough, never
compassion or caring. He liked to hope that Logan could love him and show his love more
openly, but the rational part of his brain said no, that would never happen,
that he should just enjoy what he has before it is gone. He quickly moved out
into the hallway and made his way down stairs, leaving Logan standing in his room.
Logan stared at the door, part of
him wishing that Remy did not have to sneak away from there like a criminal who
is afraid to get caught, wishing that he could show the love he knew he felt
for Remy in front of everyone, not caring who was there or what they saw. But a smaller part of him was grateful that no one knew,
that no one knew that he was in love with Remy, that he preferred men to women,
and that he no longer lusted after Jean. He knew he should not have listened to
that side but he could not stop himself, and he knew it was wrong. With that
thought, he walked out of his room and down to the war room.
The mission
was somewhat successful, the only person that was hurt was Remy, and it was
only a sprained ankle, nothing major.
“Gambit, that was a stupid stunt and could have hurt some
one else and you could have ended up in worse shape, you need to be more
careful, if not for you sake then for ours.” Cyclopes could not even wait until
they got back to start yelling him. Remy sat in his chair seeming taking the
yelling, but was really thinking about a nice hot bath, with tons of bubbles
and of course Logan
would have to be present.
As Cyclopes continued his rant,
moving on to other things that Remy could have done better or quicker, Logan began to growl at
the man, part of him mad that Cyclopes was yelling at Remy in the plane or the
fact that he was yelling at his mate. ‘Whoa, where did that come from, Remy as
my mate.’ The voice that had yelled at him earlier wishing to show in love for
Remy was back and louder then before, while the other voice really didn’t make any noise, it was quite for once.
He noticed that he was getting a
few strange looks and growled/grunted “What??”
Storm said with a giggle “You are growling, my friend. I
know you can not tolerate Cyclopes on a normal bases,
but why are you growling at him now?”
Knowing that he had to answer, and he knew that Remy was
watching him, waiting for an answer and the voice was back, telling him he
needed to cover and not show any affection towards Remy. He
glared at Cyclopes and plainly said “Look, Scott I know that your rants make
you feel like a big man and it gives you some sense of power, but if your going
to yell at the kid, do it later, and in a sound proof room, My head hurts and I
don’t want to listen to you tear the kid a new one for turning right and not
left, okay.”
Cyclopes simply stared at Logan through his little speech and was slowing turning
redder and redder before he spoke “Well, Logan
if that is your view, then maybe you can share the blame since you too made
mistakes.”
Logan simply huffed and sat back in his seat.
Remy stared at him for a while, before closing his eyes and leaning back his
head. As they got off the plane, Remy limped down the ramp and made his way to
the medlab, with Logan
close on his heels. In spite of his speech earlier, he did care for Remy and
any injury made him want to hold him in his arms and make the pain go away.
They walked in the Blue mutant’s lair, Logan
yelled out “Hey Blue, you in here?”
“Salutations, and
to what to owe this visit.” Replied Hank as he walked around the corner.
“Remy slipped and fell, twisted his
ankle.” Remy responded to the question as he moved towards one of the exam
beds. Logan
watched as he struggled to get up on the bed and moved around to help him. As
Hank moved to exam his ankle, Bobby came through the door, trumpeting as he
carried a box a twinkes under his arm. “Hey Blue, what’s up?” He stop
mid-stride as he glanced up to see Logan
and Remy in the large room.
“I am actually providing a service,
my dear friend, earning my keep in a sense.,” replied
Hank.
“Huh?” was the only response he
received, which was quickly followed by “Anyways, I
brought you twinkes. Hey Logan
what are you doing here, I thought you hated the lab, too many bad memories.” Logan simply grunted and
turned his attention back to Remy.
“Ya know, with the way you look
after Remy you’d think you were married to him. Always protecting, staying with
him during his exams, yelling at Scott. Ha, I bet you are, so when is the
wedding going to be?” Bobby rambled on what seemed like a sugar high.
“Bobby, how could you be so crude,
if one man prefers to be with another man, it is perfectly normal, Humans are
pack animals they need other people and whether they are of the same sex or of
a different sex, it is natural.” Hank replied with a
sternness that Bobby had not heard from any one but his parents.
“Jeez, I was only joking, if Logan
wants to sleep with Remy, who gives a flying fuck, Jeez, you think I would
actually think that, I am not that low.” Bobby responded, not knowing that the
damage was already done.
Hank finished Remy and told him to
take it easy and asked Logan
to see that he went to his room and get some rest. Logan helped him off the
bench with a grunt and helped him limp to the elevator. Turning to Logan as the door closed he whispered, “Cher,
I have a bath planned for us.” He kissed Logan’s
neck as the door opened and Logan
helped him to his room. ‘Oh, you want to stay in my room, well the tub is
bigger, and the bed is a little softer.”
Logan kicked opened the door and carefully
helped Remy to sit on the bed. “What’s wrong cher, you
are being quiet lately, your not still worried are you, Remy told you that he
is fine, Blue even said Remy was okay.” Remy said as he stared up at Logan, who
had not made any attempt to move towards him at all.
“Look Rems, this has gone on long
enough. We both had fun, but we both knew it was not going to last. I think we
should stop this now before we get in any more serious, or any one finds out okay.”
Logan said
refusing to look Remy in the eyes. The voice in his head was screaming at him
to stop, to tell Remy how he felt to tell him that he did love him. He wanted
to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night with Remy in his arms, but
he could not stop the words that came pouring from his mouth. He dared to
glance up at Remy and saw the pain and hurt that were in his eyes, but even
that could not make him take back his words.
Remy’s heart began to break when he
heard the tone that Logan had taken, part of him knew that this would happen
but he still did not want it to. Once Logan
caught the look in Remy eyes, Remy sighed and lowered his shoulders “Remy
understand.”
With that Logan turned and left, unable to stand the
look and the smell of Remy’s pain, he quickly went to his room, turning one
last time to see the pain that he and his words had put Remy in.
Once in his room, Logan quickly stripped down and jumped in the
shower, hoping to forget the pain he felt and pain that he had caused. Unable
to, he felt his knees become week, until they finally gave out and he collapsed
on floor of the shower and began to shudder as he held back the tears that
threatened to fall. How could he have given up something that he loved so much,
all based on the words of what he thought was a friend, but even placing the
anger on Bobby, he knew that the real blame was on him and that only he could
have stopped himself but he could not. He knew that he had screwed up and that
he had to face the consequences.
Remy was in no better shape as he
dragged himself in to the shower, he promised himself he could not cry, knowing
that he had gotten over it before and he would get over it again. He had hoped
that Logan
would be the one, the one that ended the pain and would love him, but he had
also known that it was not to be. He quickly washed the sweat and dirt from his
body, and moved out of the shower. He walked back into his room, grabbing some
boxers and a shirt, he threw them on and quickly got into bed, there and only
there did he let himself break down, letting himself cry over what he had lost.
~Present~
The pain
that Logan had
felt made itself known to him once again, as he finished the sim, collapsing on
the floor. “I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you like that, I love you so
much, I don’t know why I could never tell, you and I am so sorry I caused that
pain. Please forgive me, please Darling.” He whispered to the empty room,
hearing it echo lightly off the walls. He knew the pain he caused was still there
and was growing worse but he had no clue how to fix it and make it go away.
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