Thorns of ice on my grave

BY : RoseWineGoddess
Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Thor
Dragon prints: 620
Disclaimer: I own nothing at Marvel, except Loki's heart. Sadly I make no money. I don't own Thor or the characters of Thor, Odin, Frigga, Sif, ect

Thorns of ice on my grave

“So, is this how much you love me, Loki? To death, brother?” This is my thought as my heart's blood flows from my veins and around his blade that is pressed deep into the chambers of my heart. My own deep red blood stains his beloved hands. Yes, even as I go to my death I still think of his hands as beloved because they are his. His scent is the same, the one that I always associated with Loki, a sharp-sweet smell like juniper berries and rosemary cut with the tart sweetness of lemons. It is enough to cloud my mind a little even now in what will be the final moments of my life.

I stand so close to him, feeling his heat. I notice my pulse is gradually slowing. I don’t know if I will be able to hold onto consciousness much longer. The point of Loki’s blade protrudes into my chest. I wonder, as my eyelids start to flutter shut, just how long I can continue to hold on to him without losing my stance braced against him. His blade is so sharp. The weapon that my Loki wields is so similar to him. Razor sharp, like his words and dangerous even in stillness. It’s lovely enough to die for, just as he himself is.

Why must it be this way? Why should my heart's only desire always slip through my fingers? As my sight begins to dim and my breathing slows, I whisper my lover’s name, deep in my heart. Loki! Thoughts and memories flood into me as my life’s blood flows out, a rush like ocean's waves, a tide moving sweeping and out.
I can feel my breathing beginning to become labored. With each breath I take in the more memories began to play out in my mind.

As my mind begins to drift back into those memories of the past the story begins with a kiss. Just a simple kiss. The type of sweet gesture that we had both given each other a million times before. Loki leaned in and kissed me on the cheek but for some reason, it felt different tonight, more meaningful and powerful in a way I did not fully comprehend. Loki’s eyes burned into mine so very intensely at that moment. I looked at Loki in the moonlight that was streaming through my bed chamber’s widows. I could see a blush upon his fair skin which was so much lighter than my own. I could feel his skin warming up in my arms. He had come into my sleeping chamber the way he always did, climbing into my bed to kiss my cheek goodnight. His lips lingered a moment too long for it to be brotherly, and I hesitantly turned to look at him.

I remember making the choice to close my eyes and surrender my will to him for this night. His hands began to move slowly and hesitantly exploring my trembling body. Suddenly he was kissing me. His fingers tangling in my hair. It isn’t natural. I tried to tell myself and yet I did nothing to stop him. I felt his weight start to press me against the mattress. I held my breath and let my eyes open just a little, just enough to see his body trembling, his own eyes tightly shut and his pale throat exposed. He slowly began to rub his hips in a slow rocking motion against mine. The two of us together creating a slowly mounting friction between us. His heated kisses on my mouth and throat became frantic.

“Thor.” He moaned my name into the side of my neck where his clever mouth was teasing me. He trailed his fingers down my skin. I heard and felt his breath catch in the back of his throat. He began to mount himself over my lap, undoing the strings of my trousers and pulling them down past my hips. His gentle friction began to grow rougher and more insistent. He moaned softly against my lips and began to tease them open with his tongue. He used his teeth to gently nibble at my mouth deepening his kiss as he pressed his body harder into mine.

Thor.” Loki whispered again, his voice coming out breathy. I could not help but shudder at the feeling. He knelt between my legs then took the length of me into his mouth. I was so hard and thought I might go as soon as the heat of his mouth closed around me but he teased and tortured me, letting me almost reach the point of release and then denying me until he was ready. He thrust his hips forward in time with the work his mouth was doing. Our bodies moved as one together as his hard cocked brushed against my thighs, our bodies moving in time.

The pain and pleasure of the friction building between us became too much and as skillful as Loki was with his mouth, I would not be denied the satisfaction of driving myself deep into him. I could stand it no longer. I used my hand to slid my cock from between his lips and positioned him down. Oh, my intense lover. He was already sweat-soaked and shaking with want. I pumped his twitching cock between my hand to gather the wetness his own body was streaked with unto my palm.

I took my time in stretching him and getting ready him ready for when I would finally enter him and his moans and whispered pleas for me to hurry almost drove me to the brink with the sound of his voice alone. I was spreading him and stroking myself until we were well slicked up. I began to thrust in slowly mimicking the way he had used his mouth on me as the pattern for my strokes. I worked him from slow and gently until his own movement pressed back against me fast and hard.

The sound of his soft keening become nothing but moans and cries of my name. I remember him begging me to allow him the sweetness of release but I was going to punish him in my own way for the way he had worked me to the point of release and then denying me. He had used the skill of his hands and mouth, his lips, teeth, and tongue to elicit moans and promises I would never be able to keep from my mouth. Only then would I allow myself to bring him and in bringing him I brought myself as well.

Afterward, we laid down in my big bed together, Loki’s fingers tangled in my hair with my fingers gently tracing circles against his hipbone. We spent the rest of the night together just staring out my bed chamber’s large windows. I had never gotten a chance to shut the curtains and we watched the night sky, admiring the stars while just holding each other, keeping each other warm. We spoke no words and we didn’t make promises to each other. We both knew the promises I had already made that night were lies but we felt no need to debate or discuss them. He stayed with me that night until the first rosy golden hues lit the sky. And then he was gone.

I wonder why I should suddenly remember all of this now as Loki laid my dying body gently onto the icy ground. The white snow of the garden gave my tired body a soft bed to lay upon. He moved me so carefully, as gentle as a boy holding his first love. I was never one to wallow in thoughts of useless suffering and sentimentality. But just now recalling Loki’s warmth, his scent, and his velvety skin, and the feverish passion I hadn't allowed myself to feel surged straight up from the depths of my soul.

Loki. How many times have I whispered your name now? Has there ever been another lover in this world so persistently pursued by so many as you have been? Loki, why won’t you be only mine? From the moment you had held me in my arms, I had meant never to let you go. So why is it that I have been forced to remain so far from you? I, who love and yearn for you more than any of the others?

I felt my true nature trying to rise within me as I used the last of my strength to force a smile upon my lips. I could swear that I could feel the loneliness I had never stopped feeling seep out my heart. For in my lust for his attention, I ended up losing what was most precious to me. How could anyone ever understand how lonesome and dull a world without Loki would be for me? The very act of drawing breath would become burdensome, and each moment in this new world would bring me nothing but pain. What meaning could there possibly be for me to suffer such a fate? What was it about me that he found so lacking? The answer escaped me to this day, and I shall probably spend all the rest of my short eternity not knowing.

l forced a last burst of strength into myself as I whispered out to Loki. “What did I lack? Why could I never make you love me?” I could hear him gasp softly at hearing my question. Despite the snow, my body felt warm. Loki had wrapped his own body around mine, cradling my head to keep it off the ground, he was being careful not to jostle me but he shouldn't haven't bothered. I didn't even feel the pain of the wound he had given me anymore.

I began to think of Loki whose heat I was feeling for the very last time. He had me sweetly wrapped here in his arms once more. If the price I had to pay for this miracle was death, at this moment it didn't seem so very bad an exchange. “I...I love you so much Loki, I've always loved you too damn much." I laid one of my hands over his wrist and tried to raise my other hand to brush along the nape of his neck. In that moment, the blade embedded in my chest stabbed deeper into my chest. My mind wondered why he didn't just take the knife out, I was dying anyway, removing it now would speed things only a little.

I heard my own name softly whispered mixed with the sobs he was only barely holding back. “Thor" As my mind faded further, I allowed my thoughts to drift as they would, knowing even now my thoughts would linger on Loki. My vision began to dim further and I saw his tears streak down his cheeks in a haze. All sense of pain had left me entirely, leaving only a gentle peace in its wake. “Your weapon wasn't really needed. Your love had pierced my heart long ago. I don‘t think I ever really got over it.”

In the next moment, a tangle of ice coated rose thorns began to softly envelop my body. The thorns crisscrossed and tangled making a barrier around the two of us. Loki's magic in his grief must have caused them. He didn't seem to be paying them any attention or controlling them in anyway yet still not even a single sharp thorn pricked my skin. I wanted to lift my hand again and touch his hair, to wipe the tears from his cheeks. In dreams, I could finally stay joined with my lover. I would take my leave from this bleak and bitter world until he joined me in Valhalla at last. Until then I would dream of him, waiting for him to greet me with his mischievous smile and a cup of wine in his hand, ready to wake me to the world again.

I had always known that Loki had spent his time since that night searching through his spell books and looking for some spell or charm that would destroy his feelings of need and lust for me. He would do anything to force me to keep the promises I had made to him when he was in my bed and in my arms. There was no spell or charm against my betrayal. The only thing he could do would be to take my like. And now he has.

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