Photo Kabob!

BY : therealrjbenson
Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Deadpool
Dragon prints: 997
Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool (I wish though!),Spiderman, the avengers or any Marvel Universe, X-Men nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A line of webbing hurdled from his web shooters, and Spiderman swung through the air. The night was chilly, but not so much that he’d need another layer to keep warm. His suit was strangely adept at holding in heat. As he settled on a nearby rooftop, Spiderman couldn’t help but think of his encounter earlier that day.

“Wade…” he said out loud. Peter enjoyed the name on his tongue. “Wade Wilson. Hmmm…” It was interesting to meet someone with a name like his own, an alliteration of two words. Peter Parker, Wade Wilson, Sally Seashells…He let his legs hang over the edge, daydreaming about the man who’d bought his coffee that morning.

And just as if the man himself had the same thought, Spiderman’s suit chimed with an incoming text message. Tony had rigged it with more tech so Peter wasn’t forced to carry around needless devices while out crime fighting. One of which was a link to his personal phone. As a holographic interface appeared before his eyes, Spiderman blinked. Only he could see it, of course. But the message made his blood pump, whether from anxiety or anticipation, Peter wasn’t sure.

Hey Petey Pie…I sent myself a text from ur phone earlier. Wondered if you wanted to see what else I could do with a cherry? Since you seemed to enjoy it so much...- Wade

“Holy…” Spiderman gripped the edge of the roof. The image of that cherry between the man’s lips flooded back, and his skin heated, the suit somehow too warm. The man’s skin had been badly scarred and burned from what Peter had seen underneath the hood, but it hadn’t detracted from his well defined facial structure…or those hungry brown eyes. “Crap…what do I say? Do I reply? Do I wait? Shit…what do I do?”

“Something I can help with?” Spiderman whipped around, nearly falling off the edge. He would have too if one of his powers wasn’t sticking to things. Deadpool laid behind him, striking a pose; one leg bent, free arm on his hip, the other had his head resting on his fist.

“Deadpool? What…uh, what’re you doing here?” Spiderman tried to remain calm. The heat from seconds before had turned cold, the fear of Deadpool’s retribution hanging over his head.

The masked man in red and black with katanas cocked his head to the side. “Finished up a little business, now I’m back to continue playing Batman to my Robin, or Robin to my Batman; whichever you prefer.” He giggled and sat up. He sidled closer, hanging his legs over the side to sit next to the spider. “So…What’s the problem, Spidey? Anything I can add my own special set of skills to fixing?” His brows waggled and he winked at Spiderman.

Peter was grateful he wore a mask, his cheeks burning. “No…er…nothing like that. Actually…change the subject. I was wondering where you’d been. Just a long job, then?”

A darkness descended over Deadpool, and his shoulders seemed to hunch further. “Something like that.” His voice had lowered an octave.

Spiderman tensed. “Uh…everything okay?” He glanced at the mercenary known for his never-ending mouth and crazy antics. There were weapons strapped all over his body, ammo pouches on his belt. His usual twin pair of desert eagles, Moe and Larry, were hanging in their slings, his large combat knife at his ankle. It reminded the spider that there were many…many ways Deadpool could hurt someone.

Deadpool let out a long sigh. “Well, either way, even with some speed bumps, or blocks, I was able to finally track em down. Took a minute. They had some important people deleting any kind of trackable address…took breaking in and finding a hard file to find the person.”

“So, you took care of em, took em out like usual?”

Deadpool leveled his gaze on Spiderman. “Not quite. You could say that I’m…keeping an eye on them. Trying to figure out the best way to go about the…job. I never like to do the same thing twice. Gotta keep it fresh, ya know?” Suddenly, a brown bag smelling like tacos was pushed in Spiderman’s face. “And, while I think about it, let’s eat!” Deadpool pulled out two, handing one to the spider. Per usual, the man turned away, so Spiderman couldn’t see his face beneath.

Spiderman smiled. Deadpool was always so careful about letting him see beneath the mask but he couldn’t fault him for it. Supposedly, the man had a traumatic past and even with his healing factor, was overly sensitive about being seen outside of his suit. Peter had never pushed it. Even he had an identity to protect.

Spiderman pulled his mask up just enough to reveal his mouth and gobbled down the taco in a few bites.

“Mm-mmm. Fill that mouth, baby boy.” Spiderman whipped his head around to see Deadpool gazing at him. He could practically see the hearts over his eyes. “I could watch you swallow all day long.”

“Deadpool!” Spiderman growled.

Deadpool smacked his thigh with a giggle and swung an arm around Peter’s shoulder. “Settle down, sweet cheeks. Tell me about your problem. What made the amazing, neighborhood Spiderman, who can put his legs and bubble butt into a pretzel and still take down the big baddies, tremble in his spandex?”

Peter pushed him off but that only caused Deadpool to latch onto his arm and rest his head on Spiderman’s shoulder instead. He let out a long sigh of exasperation. “In my other life…my normal life…” Peter started. He paused but Deadpool didn’t give any hint that he knew anything about it. So…Spidey continued. “I might have…met someone.”

“What the ass!” Deadpool sat back, his gloved hands going to his cheeks with his usual flare of dramatics. He then grabbed Spiderman’s shoulders and began to shake him lightly. “Who is it? Are they fuckable? Do you like them? What do they look like? Tell me everything!” Deadpool let go, laying his head on Spidey’s thigh and looked up expectantly.

Spiderman chuckled, but leaned backward on his palms. “It’s perfectly innocent. I mean, I haven’t flirted in a long time, except for when you’re around. But not seriously since someone I cared deeply about…died. And today…it was like something just clicked.” Peter let his head hang back. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Because I have no friends but Spidey. And, I’m just crazy enough that no one would believe me anyway.”

“Yeah but you’re the “merc-with-the-mouth” so you’ll probably tell everyone anyway,” Peter said with a chuckle.

“Wow. Harsh truth, baby boy.” Deadpool moved in one smooth motion, straddling Spidey’s lap and pushing him down against the roof. “Still. Tell me. I’m touching myself tonight and I need some material. I wanna know what gets this little spider hot beneath the sheets.” He ground himself down on Spidey’s groin for emphasis.

“Hey! Fine. Just get off.”

Deadpool threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter. “Oh. If only you meant that in the fun way…” He slid off Peter, but spooned into his side, again laying his head on Spiderman’s shoulder and snuggled closer. “So?”

“He bought my coffee.”

“Oooo. A meet cute! How fun.” Deadpool turned onto his stomach, his legs kicking in the air like a teenage girl waiting for gossip. “Nice person?”

“You could say that. There’s something really intriguing, almost familiar about…him.”

“Wait! Spidey plays both sides! Omigod! I never would have guessed!” The sarcasm dripping from that tone made Peter raise a brow.

“How’d you know?”

‘Oh, baby boy. You wear the tightest spandex this side of New York and; Dat. Ass!” Deadpool made a kissing noise. “Magnifique! Only someone whose confident in their sexuality could handle all my advances without batting an eye. Plus, dat ass.”

Spiderman snorted. “Right. Pretty sure that’s wrong but anyway. So, this guy. He chats me up, offers to buy my coffee, flirted…even put his hand on my back.”

“Did you like it?”

Before Peter could reply, a scream sounded from a few blocks over. Spiderman jumped to his feet. “Well, looks like this will have to wait. Let’s go.”

“Uh…” Deadpool held up a hand. “I’ll wait here.”

Spiderman turned to him. “What? Come on. It’ll be faster with you there.”

“No thanks.”

“But, you love going with me.”

“I…uh, I shouldn’t,” Deadpool mumbled. “Look, you should go before whoever that gets dead.”


“Look. I don’t know if you know…but I saw this picture in the paper a couple months ago…you and I were both in it and…I don’t want to bring down your good image, ya know. You’re the amazing Spiderman, hero of the People. But, I’m just a killer, a mercenary for hire. If we get caught fighting together, it’ll send the wrong impression. So…just go. Okay? I’ll see ya around.” Deadpool hung his head but got to his feet and headed in the opposite direction.

“Wait…” Spiderman started after him, but another scream filled the air, pleas for help getting louder. “Shit.” Guilt was like lead in his stomach. But it would have to wait. People were in trouble.




A knock sounded on the door and Peter stuck his head out of his bathroom. “Just one minute!” He hurried around the corner, grabbing his jacket off the couch and rushed to the door. He pulled the door open to reveal Wade standing on the other side. He wore a tight, black v-neck shirt under a maroon hoodie, tan slacks with black boots. His hood was pulled over his head but, Peter could see his beautiful dark eyes peering out from underneath fixing their wolfish gaze on him.

“Hey,” Peter said. He gave the man a warm smile.

Wade returned with one of his own, making Peter’s heart flutter and his knees weak. He’d done his best to gussy up. It was a date after all, so he’d worn his nice dark-blue, long-sleeved button down paired with his nicest pair of black jeans and brown dress shoes. Aunt May had helped him over the phone, Face-timing him so she could decide what looked best. Peter had even styled his hair, actually brushing and sweeping the mop to the side, strands falling over his forehead. From the heated gaze he was receiving from Wade, Peter imagined his hard work was successful.

“Hey, yourself, Petey-Pie. Looking really, really good,” Wade drawled, letting out a low whistle.
“Do you always dress like this?”

Peter blushed. “Only for people I like…and want to like me back,” he admitted.

“Oh. No worries there. Me likey…me likey a lot. Give me a twirl.”

“You’re looking just as good,” Peter chuckled. “I won’t do a twirl, but I can turn, since I still need to lock up.” He faced the door, turning his key in the lock. Peter made sure to flex his backside at the same time. A low guttural noise floated to his ears and Peter could actually feel that gaze travel down his body, goosebumps making him shiver. A gloved hand closed over the one on the key as a warm body pressed into him from behind. Peter’s heart thumped loudly in his chest, his breathing stuttering.

“Are you sure you wanna go out, tonight? Your dressed sooo damn sexy. Makes me want to do all kinds of…mmmm…” Wade’s husky groan had Peter’s temperature rising, his clothes extra warm, and now his pants were too tight. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath and finished locking his door. Wade stepped away and Peter turned back around.

“Maybe…once I get to know you,” Peter forced himself to say, almost choking on the words.  

 Wade nodded, the corners of his mouth turned up. “No worries, Petey-pie. But, when you finally decide to let me inside…” He pressed Peter against the door, one leg between his, the deadly wolf returned. A hand tangled into Peter’s hair and pulled his head back firmly. “…I’m going to make a mess of you.” His breath tingled over Peter’s throat and Wade placed a chaste kiss on the apex of his shoulder and neck.

Peter visibly shuttered, pleasure tingling all the way down to his toes. “Do you always act this way on a first date?”

Brown eyes met his own, crinkling at the edges warmly. “Only for people I really, really like.” The man stepped back, releasing Peter and held out a gloved hand. If Peter didn’t have his super human strength, he might’ve dropped straight to the ground in a buttery mess, his insides melting after those words. Damn. He had really lucked out.

Peter grabbed the hand offered, squeezing it gently in his own and they headed down the hall. “What are the plans for tonight, anyway?”

“Thought we could sink some balls in holes.” After seeing the look of utter mortification on Peter’s face, Wade burst out laughing. “It’s not what you think, promise. Just trust me.”

“Okay…if you say so.”

As they stepped out of the building, Wade raised his hand. “Hey, Dopinder. My man!” Peter raised a brow but followed Wade as he slid inside the taxi cab that waited for them.

A nice looking Indian man turned around, flashing a smile. “Well, hello, Mr. Wilson. I was so glad to hear from you tonight. So happy to help in your pursuit of love. Where are we headed tonight on this journey?”

Wade handed the young man a piece of paper and Dopinder smiled. “Right away, Mr. Wilson.” He shifted into gear and drove the car away from the curb, heading to their destination.

“Dopinder, buddy, this is Peter,” Wade said, over back of the front seat.

“Oh, how lovely to meet you, Mr. Peter,” Dopinder said, looking at him through his rearview mirror.

“You, too, Dopinder. Glad to meet one of Wade’s friends,” Peter replied.

“So, Mr. Peter. How did you and Mr. Wilson meet? At the bar? He’s always at that place.”

“What bar—?” Peter tried to ask but was cut off when Wade smacked the back of the seat, coughing loudly. “Are you okay?”

Wade nodded, shaking his head quickly. “Yup, fine. Just fine. He’s really doesn’t need to know about that place, Dopinder. People there are not a good crowd for Peter.”

Peter raised a brow. “I can take care of myself. What’s this place called.”

“Oh. It’s the Sister Margaret’s—”

“Dopinder!” Wade barked in warning.

“Hey,” Peter said. “I asked him. He can tell me about it. Don’t get mad.” Wade glared at Peter and crossed his arms in a pout. “So…Dopinder. Have you ever been there?”

“Oh, not me, Mr. Parker, I’m too busy. But Weasel runs it. That’s another good friend of Mr. Wilson’s. He’s very nice. Makes a lot jokes, but I don’t get them yet.”

“Why don’t we go there?” Peter asked.

“Uh. Heh, heh. Peter, no,” Wade said, placing a hand on his arm. “You would not like it. It’s a rough crowd. And…tonight. I want to be just about you and me. Okay?”

Peter raised a brow. “Dopinder. Take us to Sister Margaret’s. I could use a drink.”

“What? No, not that shithole!” Wade’s gaze bobbed between them. “Oh, come on…” he whined. “I’m trying to impress you, not air my dirty, stained panties. And, you’re dressed so steamy…damn.” Wade’s grip on his arm squeezed harder. “If anyone so much as touches you, I’m gonna break off every single digit and jam it up their nose.”

Peter smiled. “I appreciate the sentiment. But, I’ll be fine. We’ll just stop in, grab one drink, chat for a bit and bounce. Then, we can go put all the balls in the holes. Okay?”

“Fine…” Wade grumbled and pulled out his phone. He began texting at a furious pace.

“What are you doing?”

“Telling Weasel to warn the riffraff. To let them know exactly what’ll happen if any one of them piss me off. That whole cutting off fingers and shoving in nostrils thing.” A feeling of familiarity loomed in Peter’s mind, similar mannerisms that he just couldn’t quite place. Yet, he found it comforting. Peter relaxed into the seat, watching the city go by. Wade pocketed his phone and cuddled up beside him.

The heat from his body was like a furnace and Peter curled into him, drawing that heat inside with a grateful moan. Lips found his earlobe and the shock of that touch sent tingles down his spine.

Peter whimpered. Actually whimpered.

He tilted his head, subtly allowing Wade better access. Arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him tighter against the hard body beside him. Kisses trailed down his neck, and Wade nuzzled into him, the scrape of his scarred cheek sending more tingles. A long sigh escaped the man behind him. They stayed like that, relaxing into each other until Dopinder pulled the taxi in front of run down hole in the wall.

‘We’re here,” Wade whispered into his ear. He leaned around Peter, reaching for the door latch and pushed it open for him. “After you.”

Peter smiled. “Thanks.”

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