All I want for Christmas is a Priest

BY : BluePixeledRedFox
Category: X-men Comics > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 626
Disclaimer: I do not own any properties belonging to Marvel, Disney, the Catholic church, or any of the music/lyric used, and am not trying to make fun of them! I do not make money from this. All tips will have to be in the form of comments. :D

Hello everyone! I am alive, I will put the last chapter of Accidental encounter up, and I'm not going to bore you here with why it's been so long. 

Here is a Christmas present for you, or the first half of it, anyway. I wanted to have it up earlier, but a combination of being the only one at work, it being the busy season, and illness, planned spinal shots, and possible upcoming spinal surgery, plus not getting the idea for it until a week or two ago, and having to do the whole multiple family thing for Christmas... This is what happens. I'll try to get the other part up tomorrow, but I have to finish it, first. It's nearly there, but needs the good stuff *wink*. 

A little note, this story is inspired by a lot of things; driving home in a blizzard with almost no visibility, a certain song coming on the radio that isn't even out really yet, and another story, "Oh Father", on Archive of our own. It's good, and a little of the basis (the idea of a priest falling in love with someone, pushed forward by the song) helped inspire the story. I do recommend it, but it isn't finished. The author made a note in November saying that they may add more, but nothing yet. I cross my fingers, and like I said, I do recommend it! Also There are a lot of song lyrics in the story. You can let them wash over you, try to find them, ignore them and think the OC is weird, or just go with it.

Whatever you decide, please enjoy!  

Also, forgot to mention that there will be slight mentions of rape, that had happened, not happening.



Kurt straightened his cassock, looking at himself in the mirror, his fingers touching the empty spot where his collar would go. He wouldn’t get it until he was ordained, but the date was drawing closer.

He’d left the X-Men a few years ago, deciding that he would be better able to serve the mutant community by giving them hope and the knowledge that God didn’t hate them.

He looked at the contacts that made it look like he had pupiled, more normal eyes to make sure they were in place, then his eyes moved to his cheek, closely examining the flesh colored make up there to make sure that his blue skin was fully covered. He had hated it at first, but had gotten used to it over the three and a half years he had been in the seminary, training to get to where he was. Now he only had the last six months of practical training, or interning, which he had started a few months ago with a priest, Father Connor, who was about ten years older than himself and knew of his strange appearance.

He opened the door and stepped out of the office leading to the choir seating, only to be washed over by singing. It wouldn’t have been so strange if the church hadn’t been empty except for himself and the priest before he’d gone into the office.

Kurt looked around, seeing a hooded figure in a long coat walking down the aisle, singing. He had frozen, hearing the words.

“Hoppe hoppe Reiter, und kein Engel steigt herab, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, nur der Regen weint am Grab, hoppe hoppe Reiter, eine Melodie im Wind, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, und aus der Erde singt das Kind…”

The German was rolled, rounded, practiced, but the words slightly off, as someone who hadn’t had enough practice speaking the language itself sang them. The low voice was off, as well, like a man speaking in falsetto, only reversed. Maybe a tenor singing a bass’s part, stretching to drop that extra octave to match the low notes.

The hooded figure continued down the aisle, stopping and looking up at the front, dropping to a knee and standing in one motion before heading to the back where the priest’s main office was, never missing a word of the song.

Kurt looked after the figure, wondering what the whole thing was about. He had never seen anyone coming into church in such a manner, and the figure hadn’t seemed very accustomed to Catholic traditions, knowing enough to touch a knee to the ground, but maybe not knowing, or caring, enough on how to do it properly.

The doors to the church opened again and a few ladies entered, giggling among themselves and making their way up to the choir seating. More people filed in, making their way to the chairs waiting for them so they could begin practice.

Kurt watched them, glad that they had accepted him into their church enough to not mind him being so close, but his mind kept straying back to the figure, wondering what they could want, thinking over the whole walk as they went down the aisle to the back office. He couldn’t even be sure of the person’s gender, though the voice and shapeless looking form made him lean heavily toward male.

There was a laugh from the back, and Kurt turned to look as the priest and the hooded figure made their way to the choir seating. Father Connor put a hand on the figure’s shoulder and looked to him.

“This is Kurt. He is new, and we have put him to work as the choir director to help get ready for Christmas.”

The figure waved, but Kurt couldn’t see any features, since the person kept their face down. They turned and walked past the chairs, going to the stairs, pulling the hood back slowly, revealing furry ears.

Kurt was horrified; it appeared that this person was a mutant, physically affected, and they were showing it in front of everyone!

His cheeks started to burn in regretful embarrassment as he remembered that he had spent years fighting with the X-Men, fighting so that physically affected mutants could feel safe and comfortable enough to show themselves without hiding. Still, it was dangerous…

Maybe he had just gotten too used to trying to fit in with makeup...

“Nice hat, still,” one of the ladies commented, a bit of rudeness hidden in her tone.

“Not easily offended, know how to let it go, from the mess to the masses...” was the trailing off reply.

The voice was higher now, and Kurt felt more unsure of the gender of the person. He looked away and when he looked back, the person had sat down in one of the chairs on the top row, between the tenors and altos, holding the music in front of them to study it.

Kurt ran the choir practice, paying attention to the music, and not to the mystery person.

As the practice ended, though, Father Connor stepped to the person and stopped them. “Kurt, I’d like you to introduce yourself to our friend.” With that, Father Connor went to where a couple of the patrons were trying to get his attention.

“Hallo,” Kurt greeted, his hands clutched together to let the difference remain unseen.

“Hello,” came the voice, feminine, he thought, or maybe just high for a man… “Reindeer, hello snowman, hello Santa, happy holidays,” the figure finished in a mumble.

“I’ve never seen you here before,” Kurt offered after a stunned moment.

“I’ve never seen you either, but I’m like Santa. I only come for Christmas,” was the explanation to Kurt’s silence.

“You only come to church for Christmas?” He asked. “None of the other masses or celebrations?”

The figure looked uncomfortable, looking to the side instead of the floor where they’d been focused. “I don’t belong here, I don’t belong here…”

Kurt hesitated. “Everyone belongs here,” he said.

“No, I mean I don’t go here. I’m not part of the church; I just like singing…”

Kurt tried to get a better look, or any look at all, really, from the figure’s face. He smiled to try to put the person at ease and said, “You must like singing very much.”

“Yes… I’m a second alto, so if you need a tenor, you can ask me.”

“Second alto, hm?” Kurt asked, making note that the person was a woman.

“Yes…”

Father Connor came back to stand next to them as the last of the other choir participants made their way out. “You should stop hiding,” he commented to the woman.

She reached up and tugged off her hat, giving him a look. “I’m not hiding, Father Connor, your church is just very cold.”

Father Connor chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure. You should actually speak to him. Remember what we’ve talked about.”

She rolled her eyes and turned them to Kurt, unzipping her coat and taking it off to let it fall on the floor. She held out her hand for Kurt to shake, looking polite. Kurt carefully took her hand so she didn’t notice that it was different.

“Hello, my name is Liesl, I’m a second alto, so please, call on me if you need another tenor.”

Kurt looked into her mostly green eyes, flecked with brown as they looked at him, not quite connecting. Her shirt was loose around her, leading to show that she carried a little extra weight, and her longish brown hair fell messily around her shoulders. “Liesl?” Kurt asked, surprised at the unusual, and German, name.

“Like the Sound of Music,” she supplied.

“Ah. Is that your favorite musical?” He asked.

“No. I like others more.” Father Connor gave her a look and she rolled her eyes slightly again. “Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hairspray, Nightmare Before Christmas, Little Shop of Horrors…”

Kurt smiled. “Yes, those are some good ones, as well.” Her lip lifted a little. Probably at the thought of a soon to be priest watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

“Kurt, perhaps you can talk to Liesl.” Liesl gave Father Connor a look.

“Oh?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, she has been singing with us for, I believe this is the third year? But, I still have not been able to convince her to come to a regular mass,” he answered.

“Is there a reason?” Kurt asked her.

“Please excuse me, I’ll leave you to talk, I’ve some business in my office,” Father Connor told them.

Liesl sighed and picked up her coat and things, then moved to sit down. Kurt looked at her in question. “He won’t let me be until we talk for at least fifteen minutes,” she told him.

Kurt sat next to her. “Are there any questions you have?”

“No,” she answered. “I’m not part of your church, but I don’t have anything against you. I respect your religion, even if I don’t partake.”

Kurt smiled. “That’s very Christian of you.”

Liesl shrugged. “Sure.”

“Liesl, why is it that you like singing here so much?” He asked.

“I just like singing with a group. I sing with the local city choir, too, but they don’t sing the hymns, like Ava Maria and the like.”

“You like singing hymns?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“What is your favorite?”

“Hard to say, Mary Did You Know isn’t as moving to listen to as it is to sing, I think, but… Hm… Ave Maria, Angels We Have Heard on High, Hark the Herald Angels Sing… Things with a good four part harmony… I’m rather fond of Still Still Still, but I don’t think that counts as a Hymn.”

Kurt nodded. “Liesl, why is it that Father Connor wants you to talk to me, do you think?”

Liesl’s lip twitched up. “He wants me to be nice to you, because being silent can be construed as rude.”

Kurt’s brow raised. “Oh?”

She nodded, then turned to look into his eyes. “I’m also supposed to look you in the eye or face.”

“Is it something you’re trying to work on?”

“I suppose,” she answered.

“What do you mean, you suppose?” Kurt asked.

“That, I believe, is private, due to some law about confession,” Liesl told him, blinking and looking away as her eye twitched. The dry wintery air was starting to make them dry and itchy, even though it was just starting to get to winter temperatures.

Kurt nodded in reply to her, a slight wincing smile lifting his lip as he wondered what she had confessed that would make trying to be socially interactive something she was working on.

A beeping sound came from the woman’s person and she dug through her pocket, pulling out a phone, asking for him to excuse her. “Hello?” She answered. “Well, no- oh! I didn’t- Yes, I’ll be right there,” she told the person before hanging up the phone. “Please excuse me, I’ve got to get going,” she told Kurt, standing and pulling on her coat and eared hat.

Kurt stood and smiled as well. “I’ll see you in a few days for practice, then.”

“Yes, a few days,” she answered, wondering how she’d forgotten that today was the first meeting for the city choir to set up practice.


A few days later, after practice, Kurt stepped to Liesl, knowing that Father Connor wanted him to talk to her, hoping that she’d join the congregation, maybe find what she was missing or something to help her. “Hallo, Liesl.”

“Hello,” she answered quietly.

“May we talk again?” Kurt asked.

She looked up to his eyes, as though appraising him. “I suppose. What do you want to talk about?”

“How about movies?” He asked.

She assented, and they spoke for a while, not noticing that the time was quickly passing them by. Kurt was glad that she seemed to open up a little more, being still hesitant to share and strangely a little standoffish, but less so, especially after they had discussed movies and found that they had quite a few tastes in common.

Kurt made a gesture with his hands, and Liesl’s eyes followed one, taking in the appearance, but as soon as his hand disappeared back down, behind his back in nervousness, she looked back to his eyes.

“Yes, but you’ll hear how much better the book was.” Kurt nodded, worried that she realize that he was a mutant, then would become afraid and belligerent. “I always try to walk into the movies expecting nothing, accepting that it is a different way to tell the same story. That way, as long as it stays pretty true to the lore and rules in the book, I don't take it too hard.”

Kurt nodded again. “That is a good way to think about it,” he agreed.

Liesl blinked hard, noticing how dark it had gotten. “I should go,” she told him, standing. Kurt stood as well and walked her out.


The next time they spoke about books, and the next about movies, books, and plays they liked. They spent a few weeks like that, and got to know each other more. Slowly, Liesl relaxed around him, becoming more comfortable in his company.

After about a month, Kurt found that he was very fond of the time he got to spend with Liesl, glad that they had been able to become friends.

Liesl also felt some happiness at the amount of time she was getting to spend with Kurt, for some reason looking forward to it, despite knowing that it was only because it was Kurt’s job as a clergyman to attempt to help the downhearted.

Snow had fallen thickly over the few days since the last practice, and Kurt was marveling at the beautiful blanket of fresh snow in the courtyard, thinking happily that choir practice would be soon, and he’d get to spend time with Liesl after.

Liesl hefted her foot over the pile of snow next to her car, irritated that she hadn’t had time to change at work. If they would let her off on time instead of making her stay as long as the kids wanted a picture with the Santa crew, she wouldn't be stuck in the ridiculous costume.

She shivered as she hurried to the church, finding Father Connor in the front hall. “F-f-f-f-Father C-Connor,” she greeted.

He turned to her and smiled. “My, don’t you look festive,” he commented, looking down her fuzzy red dress, frilly skirt, elfin tights, and heavy black boots.

“Y-y-yeah… Do you mind if- if I change in the- office?” She asked, trying not to stutter as she rubbed her hands together to try to regain feeling in her numb fingers.

“Of course,” he told her.

“Th-thanks,” she gratefully told him, taking her bag of clothing and heading to the office off of the choir seating.

She quickly pulled off the boots and tights, her frozen and previously wet skin clammy. She bunched up the tights, feeling the wet feet as she pulled the shorts from around them, and pulled the shorts on again before stuffing the tights into her bag. She reached behind her and unzipped the dress, pulling the thing over her head.

Kurt walked down the hallway, eager to get to choir practice and spend time with Liesl after. He stopped in the hall, looking at his hands quickly to make sure they were still covered with makeup before opening the door to the office behind the choir seating.

He looked up, stopping in shock at the beautiful female body in front of him.

Long legs.

Trim figure.

Arms held up.

The red velvet material came off of her head, and long, glowing brown hair cascaded down around her shoulders and ample breasts. Breasts surrounded by silky looking fabric, stomach bare, small shorts over her hips and thighs, bare, smooth legs…

So beautiful…

Kurt’s eyes jumped up to Liesl’s, which were wide in something that looked like terror, as she held the red fabric in front of herself. “I-I-I-” Kurt blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and stepped back out of the room, closing the door and leaning back against it.

Liesl’s arms fell and the dress landed in front of her as she fell to her knees. She blinked rapidly, looking around. The panic and fight or flight were still flowing through her body. “It’s ok,” she whispered to herself, pulling herself back up. She looked at the door across from her, the one that lead to the hall, and hurriedly pulled her clothes on.

Maybe… Just maybe…

Kurt ran the practice, avoiding looking at Liesl, embarrassed about walking in on her, but also embarrassed that her nearly nude body was burned in his mind.

The choir participants started filing out, and Kurt blushed, but stepped up to Liesl as she walked to go past him. “Liesl…” She paused, keeping tabs of his position relative to hers, though it looked like she wasn’t looking at him, and he took that as a sign that she was listening. “I-I’m sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean- I didn’t know you were in the office…” He explained, feeling his face heat under the makeup caked over it.

Liesl looked up at him. His hands were twisting nervously, his eyes were sincere, his shoulders hunched in embarrassment, but also in sincerity. Maybe… Maybe he was ok… Liesl felt a slight smile lift her lips. “It’s ok…”

Kurt let out a barely audible sigh of relief. “I’m glad… Liesl… What would you like to talk about today?”


Liesl had left, and Kurt had gone to his room, undressing for a shower. He paused, looking at where the makeup stopped, leaving a strange swirling between the flesh  and blue on his forearm.

He stepped into the shower and turned on the water, turning it toward cold as the image of a beautiful, nearly nude Liesl filled his mind.

He had judged her wrongly; she wasn’t plump, as he’d expected. Her breasts were large, making her shirt hang loosely around her and give her the illusion of extra weight, but she was well fit; not too skinny, almost chubby, but right in that perfect spot before, just his preference.

He felt himself reacting to the sexy image, and shook his head, but that only brought the image of her hair falling all around her shoulders and breasts. He drew in a breath, trying to steady himself.

He hadn’t felt the pleasure of his hand for about three years, falling to temptation once or twice just after joining the seminary, and feeling the pleasure of a woman had stopped even longer back.

Kurt turned the water colder and took another breath. He had to keep his wits about him…

She was his friend, and while he would savor the chance to touch her beautiful body, hear her singing in pleasure, he was nearly finished with his training to become a priest; hardly three months left. It was impossible, besides, she was supposed to see him as a support, a bridge to God, a friendly, concerned, but benign presence, helping lift her faith.

Kurt awoke the next day, glad that he had denied himself; if he had thought of her while pleasuring himself, he felt he would have greatly regretted it this morning.

He spent his day taking care of his obligations, ignoring the down feeling that he wouldn't get to see Liesl today, and just how greatly he was looking forward to tomorrow when he would see her again.


Liesl stretched as she stood with the group, spending a little longer stretching as the other people started walking away.

This time, however, they were discussing something they were planning, a toy or money drive, items for donation to the homeless, running a soup kitchen, they hadn’t decided yet, but they were hanging around in clumps, and Liesl walked down, pausing by a pew, hoping Kurt would still come to talk to her. She brushed out her coat while she waited, wondering why she was standing there.

Kurt greeted a group of women who stopped him.

“What do you think, Father Wagner? Do you think a soup kitchen, or a clothing drive would be better?”

“I’m not sure, ladies, I believe Father Connor would be better at evaluating the need of the community. I don’t think I’ve been here long enough to have a enough of an idea.”

The women tittered and murmured to themselves as he walked away toward Liesl, his eye bothering him more this afternoon than it had this morning. He rubbed at it, but could find little to no relief. “Hallo, Liesl,” he greeted as he rubbed his eye a little harder.

“Hello,” Liesl greeted. She was easily looking him in the eye, something she’d had to work at for the first little while. He smiled, opening his eye with a little more comfort. Liesl blinked and her eyes widened. “Um… Your eye…”

Kurt blinked, unsure of what she meant.

“Your… contact?” She suggested, not sure if it was the right thing.

“Oh,” Kurt rubbed at his eye a little more, and felt the contact come free onto the  back of his knuckle. He closed his eye to look at her, nervous of the others so close as well. “Ahm… Ja, it has been bothering me all day…”

“Do you need a mirror to put it back in?” She asked.

“Ah, no, my fingers are… dirty…” He told her, looking down at the makeup covered hand holding the contact.

“I- I could help you,” Liesl told him, reaching into her small bag and pulling out a travel size bottle of saline.

“You just carry that around with you?” Kurt asked as she took the contact from his hand and washed it in hers.

“The winter air dries out my contacts,” she told him.

Kurt’s breath caught in his lungs as Liesl stepped closer, putting a hand on his cheek and focusing on his eye.

“You’re going to have to open your eye if I’m going to get this contact back in,” she lightly teased.

Kurt opened his eye and she pulled down his lid. She was very close to him as she raised a brow at noticing the dark purple color inside his eyelid. She spent a second putting the contact in before telling him, “blink. Again.” She pulled her hand away and nodded. “You’ll probably have to look around for a second to get it settled in place.”

Kurt did and it was much more comfortable. He was hesitantly quiet, unsure of her reaction. He’d hopped that she hadn’t quite caught how different his hand was before, maybe it had been too dark, but now, she had  stood almost close enough to touch him, staring at his eye in the light…

There was no way she’d missed it. But… She wasn’t saying anything… “I- I hope you… Won’t hold it against me…” She turned her head a little as her face reflected her confusion. “That… That I’m a mutant…” He murmured so the others wouldn’t hear.

“I hope you won’t hold it against me that I’m not a member of your church,” she returned with a sly smile.

“Never,” he shook his head.

“Ditto,” she replied.

He smiled in relief. She was so kind and thoughtful, more so than quite a few of the patrons of the church, he thought grimly.

He was thinking a little fondly of her, perhaps…

Liesl blinked and stepped back, feeling how her chest had become uncomfortably tight. She looked away, her cheeks heating a little as she bit her lip. Why was she thinking of him this way? Sure, she liked him; he was nice, and they had a lot in common, but she couldn’t think of him as anything more than a friend. He was a member of the clergy.

Kurt was relieved that Liesl didn’t seem to care about him being a mutant. Thinking back, he was fairly certain that she had seen how different his hands were and just hadn’t said anything.

He enjoyed their time together as they spoke, and eventually Liesl had to leave. Was it just his imagination, or was she hesitating to go?

“Well… I guess I’ll see you next week,” she told him, leaving through the doors.

“Next week,” he agreed. He watched her go, until she got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Kurt, it’s getting late. Have you been speaking to her for all this time?” Father Connor asked.

Kurt’s cheeks heated, and he was glad for the make up that hid it. “Yes, we were a little engrossed in our conversation,” he admitted.

Father Connor chuckled. “You seem to be rather fond of her,” he commented.

“She is… Very nice.”

“You seem to have much in common,” Father Connor offered.

“Yes,” Kurt agreed.

“Do you, perhaps, care for her a little more than is normal?”

“No,” Kurt quickly rebutted. “No. She is just a very nice young woman, who seems sad… Lonely…”

“She has seemed less sad lately,” Father Connor commented.

“Good,” Kurt commented back. “No one should be sad at Christmas time.”

Father Connor nodded in agreement.


Liesl wrapped a present, hesitating with a piece of tape. “Can I help you?” She asked the man standing at the counter.

“Is Andrea still here?” He asked.

“Andrea,” Liesl called toward the back.

The young blond hurried to the front room. “Yes? Oh! Richard!” She cried, rushing forward and around the counter. The two wrapped their arms around each other, kissing.

Liesl set the finished package to the side and looked up at them. She wished that someone would kiss her.

It had been a long time since she’d been able to get that far with a man. Scars on her heart and trust made it hard, but she tried not to think about the past and what her stepbrother had done to her, forcefully and painfully. She was feeling more confident than she had in a long time, in no small part due to singing with the choirs, she knew, but still, she wanted someone to kiss her, and maybe if she found someone she could trust-

An image of Kurt floated in her mind’s eye.

Liesl gave a slight jump. No- no, not Kurt, he was a priest; definitely off limits, and probably not interested in her more than trying to be her friend and help her not feel alone. But still, it would be nice if she could find someone to kiss her like Richard was kissing Andrea…

Passionately and lovingly…

Kurt’s image popped up again.

Liesl’s eyes widened as she stepped back from the table and turned to grab the next package needing giftwrapped, but her hands stopped, resting on it.

Why was she thinking of him like this? She shouldn’t- couldn’t! He was a clergyman, and though she wasn’t part of his church, she respected his position and all he’d had to sacrifice and swear to to obtain it.

Still, she couldn’t help but think of him, his smile, the way his eyes looked at her warmly… Her heart was beating a little faster, and she bit her lip. She had a crush on him. She shook her head to free it of the shock. Normally, a crush wouldn’t be anything to worry about, something normal and healthy, but now…

She couldn’t think about Kurt like this. He was a holy man and thinking about him, about kissing him or anything else that wasn’t platonic, was inherently dirty, making her like a wicked, conniving, betrayer of God…

She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Wait, she thought. It’s just a crush, it’s not like I’m actually trying to get him to kiss me. It’ll probably just go away by itself… Yeah… I’ll find someone more appropriate, and this will be in the past…


Liesl sat in a pew at the back of the church, hoping she would remain unseen.

She ducked down as the office door at the back of the church opened. Father Connor walked out and pulled his coat on, getting a shovel from the closet across from his office before heading down the hall away from the hall.

The door to the choir director’s office opened as well and Kurt- Father Kurt- Father Wagner walked out. She took a breath and hid deeper in the pew. She shouldn’t be here alone with him…

The door opened and some other choir people came in. She waited until they had passed and followed behind them up to the seating, saying hi as Kurt greeted all of them. She sat in her spot as they waited for everyone to gather.

Soon enough, they had all come and practice was finished.

Kurt waited as the majority of the choir group filed out, looking at Liesl as she made her way down. He looked away quickly as the thought of her in lingerie filled his head. “Liesl,” Kurt greeted when she reached him.

“Father Wagner…” She hesitantly said.

Kurt paused in surprise. “Ah, you may still call me Kurt,” he told her. Her cheeks turned a little pink, and he was at a loss for why.

They sat as the rest of the group discussed their winter charity with Father Connor, and Kurt’s eyes had to focus on staying away from her body, neck, lips, or the way her hair fell around her shoulders.

They talked, taking pleasure in each other’s company, and reminding themselves that they couldn’t be thinking the things they were.

Father Connor turned the lights on above them, and Liesl realized just how dark it had gotten. She looked at her phone for the time and stood quickly. “Wow, I can’t believe how late it is.”

Kurt escorted her out, making sure that she arrived at her car safely before turning and seeing that Father Connor was still there.

“Kurt,” he greeted.

“Father Connor…” Kurt answered unsurely.

“You do seem to have a good time with Liesl.”

“Yes,” Kurt answered, not sure what to say. Father Connor smiled to him.

“She seems to be rather taken with you as well.”

Kurt walked toward him, giving an unsure nod of acknowledgement at his attempt to start a conversation. “She does enjoy talking about things, unfortunately, much of the American music is unfamiliar to me, and she seems to be very fond of it.”

Father Connor nodded. “She could have an entire conversation by quoting songs,” he confessed to Kurt. “It was quite disconcerting when she first came here. She seems to be doing a lot better since talking to you.”

Kurt couldn’t quite stop the smile tugging at his lips.

They made their way to their rooms, Kurt going to wash off the makeup caked over his skin. A shower was always the easiest, as he felt chunks of the stuff fall from him in the rushing water, and he stepped in. He closed his eyes and scrubbed at his face, letting the false skin be washed away.

Liesl looked up at him shyly.

Kurt’s eyes snapped open, trying to get the image out of his head.

If he were honest, he would confess about this, but he was afraid of Father Connor finding out about how he was feeling, knowing that it was an improper thing for him to be thinking about her like this. He would fail and be kicked out of the church for sure…

And yet, Liesl’s body seemed to be there next to him, her hair impervious to the falling water, but her body letting it glisten down her. Down her breasts, over her stomach, along her thighs-

Kurt shook his head. He couldn’t think this, and yet…

He couldn’t get the thought out of his head. He thought of her as a beautiful young woman, a kindhearted friend and good conversational partner during the day, but when she wasn’t there, as soon as the sun had gone down and he’d stepped into the shower to rid himself of the caked on makeup, his body started making its desires known. His body wanted her, craved her and needed her like he’d never thought of wanting any woman, thing, or even food or water, in his life.

He refused, night after night, reminding himself that he had sworn to celibacy. He had to keep strict; there was no telling what would happen to his relationship with Liesl if he couldn’t control himself. He may be unable to stop from confessing to her of his improper thoughts, and she would surely be unable to ever look him in the face again.

His hand had drifted down his abs in his distraction, desperate to rid him of this frustration, but he caught it before it could, slamming it against the wall as he groaned in anger and helplessness.

The frustration would last another day.

Days passed and his frustration grew. It had been two, nearly three, weeks since he’d walked in on her, and every night, the memory of her beautiful skin haunted him. It was driving him mad. His body needed her, needed release, needed attention as a man! He turned it down, over and over, refusing to give in.

It was Friday, the last of the practice days that week, and Kurt reflexively smiled at seeing Liesl sitting at the top of the stairs. She was so beautiful.

Kurt dismissed the group and stood in his spot at the front, waiting for Liesl to come closer to him.

Liesl looked up, her cheeks pinkening. “Hi, Kurt… I have to hurry to city choir practice today, so I can’t stay, but…”

Kurt felt his heart squeezing. She couldn’t stay and talk to him. It was going to be days before he got to see her again, next Thursday, to be precise, as the choir practice would temporarily be put on hold so that the church could run it’s clothing drive.

Liesl turned back to him from her small bag. “I made this for you, um, so you could- it has some music on it-”

Kurt took the offered cd, looking at it in confusion.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I don’t even know if you have a cd player, I mean, Father Connor has a computer and it should work on there-”

Kurt smiled and put his hand on hers. “It’s great, thank you.”

Liesl let out her breath in relief. “Well… I’ll see you next week,” she told him, and he nodded.

Kurt watched her walk away. It would be nearly a week until he saw her again. His fingers tightened, holding the cd case against him.

The group had dispersed, and Father Connor and he were the only people left. They cleaned the church, had a drink of cider together, and said good night to adjourn to their studies. Father Connor was reading his scriptures and preparing for his sermon on Sunday, Kurt was sure, and he took his bible from his desk drawer for study after his shower, and when finished, sat at his desk, opening the bible to the page he had left off on.

The next day Kurt helped get the church ready for mass, dusting, shining, sweeping, and vacuuming, making sure there were bibles enough in all the pews. He helped to complete the rest of the chores, too, and by the end of the day was glad of his shower, even though Liesl’s image was waiting there, making his body beg for release.

As Kurt stared at the page in front of him, he realized that he was lost in thought, and his vision slid to the cd Liesl had given him.

He closed his bible and stood, going to the closet where his things were and dug into the box where the things he didn’t use much were and pulled out an old discman, pulling the headphones free and starting to stuff them in his ears as he went back to his desk and sat as he took the cd from the case and swapped it with the one in the discman.

The cd player actually still worked, surprising him, and the music started. It was upbeat, catchy, the lyrics meant something, or were just fun… it was interesting. He’d heard one or two before, but a lot of them were new to him.

There were twenty five songs, and somewhere in the middle, he changed from the chair at his desk, to his bed. He laid back, listening to the music, letting the sound wash over him. His eyes closed, and he drifted off, thoughts of Liesl filling his mind.

A shrill alarm sound filled the room, and Kurt’s eyes snapped open. The batteries had died and silence came from the earbuds in his ears. He pulled them out and started his routine for getting ready for mass.

The mass was lovely, a touching sermon about loving one another, the season, and charity. Kurt felt filled with peace and hope, and his mind filled with thoughts of Liesl. After the sermon, he helped take confession, talked to the people who stayed to help clean the church, and discussed the charity with the people who were mostly in charge.

When he got into the shower, Liesl was still there, her body tempting him. He finished the shower as quickly as possible and turned to Corinthians. “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Kurt paused and read it again. He tried to let it sink in deeper before continuing. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” He had to keep his body and mind pure.

Monday he volunteered to do the shopping for them, and made a special stop at the battery section to get some for his discman. When he got back to the church and had put all of the groceries away, he went to his room and pulled the discman from his desk, quickly putting in the batteries and stuffing the earbuds in his ears. He turned the player on and listened to the songs as he laid on the bed. Visions of Liesl went through his head with the music, making him restless.

He turned off the cd and went out to fix dinner for Father Connor and himself, after which they went their separate ways and Kurt climbed into the shower. He saw Liesl there, as usual, and his body begged him for release.

He ignored his body, reciting Corinthians to himself again. His stiffness didn’t leave, so he ignored it as he finished the shower, hoping it would go away. It still didn’t, and he continued ignoring it as he pulled on pajamas and laid in bed, putting the earbuds in his ears.

He tried to focus on the music, but the songs made him think of Liesl, and as he started drifting off, his brain starting to think of things he wanted to do to Liesl, and what he wanted her to do to him…

Kurt tossed and turned, trying to ignore his body’s desires, but had trouble.

Kurt awoke in the morning, feeling as though he’d gotten no sleep. The first thing he did was read Corinthians, the second was to slather his face with the makeup that made him look like a normal human. The third was to go do his daily chores and help Father Connor with visits to the members of the church who weren’t able to make it to the mass regularly, or who were temporarily unable to attend. He helped clean a few places, cook a few meals, gather groceries and supplies for those confined to their homes, all of the things he should be doing as a part of the clergy, and yet, he couldn’t stop Liesl from popping up in his mind randomly.

She teased him with her mostly green hazel eyes, her shining brown hair, her full lips, her round breasts, full, plush looking, and hidden under her baggy shirt. He had to pull his mind from where it shouldn’t be a lot more than was reasonable.

Kurt walked with Father Connor back to the church, surrounded by silent reflection until Father Connor broke it.

“You look troubled, Kurt.”

“Ah, no,” Kurt denied.

Father Connor paused, but came at him from another direction. “You are missing choir practice, aren’t you?”

Kurt hesitated, but answered, “yes.”

“You know, there is just under a month until Christmas.”

Kurt’s head jerked up. It was true, there was just under a month of time that they would use to practice for that day, and then they would return to regular hymns.

And Liesl would leave.

Kurt’s chest felt tight, and he subconsciously touched it.

That night, Kurt laid in bed, listening to the cd Liesl had given him. His body was calling for her, hoisting the fabric of his pants high like a flagpole with his stiffness. He tried to ignore it, lying motionless on his back, focusing on the music, but the inner turmoil was roiling.

It was late. Father Connor was undoubtedly asleep, as he should also be. The whole town was most likely asleep. But Kurt couldn’t sleep. His body demanded things of him he couldn’t do. It demanded to be touched, it demanded that he let it be touched.

I can’t! He thought desperately.

“Then let me…” Liesl’s eyes slowly opened as she looked up at him, clothed in only her bra and panties as she straddled his hips.

Kurt took a deep breath. No, I can’t! He thought in a near panic for losing his control as his heart pounded in his chest.

“I’ll help you, Kurt,” Liesl whispered seductively to him.

Kurt felt his hand moving down on its own. “No,” he murmured, his eyes contorting in concentration.

“Please let me help you, Kurt, I want to help you… I want to help so badly…” Liesl told him as she leaned forward and rubbed up his body.

It had been so long, his member jumped, fairly leaping to painful attention at the touch of his hand rubbing against it through his pajama pants. Liesl’s image slid down his body, rubbing against his rod stiff protrusion. It felt good, and she moved back up. Kurt’s hand was rubbing up and down with her body, pressing a little harder in some spots.

He shouldn’t be doing this, none of it; not touching himself, not letting himself be distracted by sexual thoughts, and definitely not thinking of Liesl while doing it! But her breasts were pressed against him, teasing him just so, just right, he wanted to touch them, lick them, make her moan and cry out, God, he needed to taste them, her, all of her-

“Uggh!” A guttural sound was jerked from Kurt as he suddenly spilled wetness over himself and his pajamas. He looked down at the mess spreading across his hips, a feeling of defeat filling him. He’d finally lost the battle.

He laid back for a few minutes before taking off his headphones and going to his bathroom to clean up. He pulled off his pajamas and boxers, rinsing them in the sink before he stepped into the shower to give a quick wash to his hips and thighs, but as his hands tried to pass over him inoffensively, his cock sprang back up and to life.

He looked down at it in shock. It was an extremely fast recovery, he hadn’t seen anything like it since maybe his teen years. He tried to ignore it, trying to wash around it, but his body was not giving up.

Liesl was standing next to him, looking at him and smiling sweetly.

He closed his eyes in defeat. He couldn’t stop her beautiful face and body from taunting him, even by giving in and giving his body what it wanted. He wrapped his hand around his again stiff cock, his arm relearning how to move, pumping up and down as he felt more and more fuzzy about why he shouldn’t be with Liesl in real life. His body was trying to convince his mind that it was good and right, ok and necessary. His hand tightened a little as it moved, quickening the pace until he fell over the edge, coming again and panting as he leaned against the wall.

He was so dirty, so unclean and impure. The opposite of what he should be to be a priest. He was a failure, something corrupted and depraved. Kurt fell to his knees and looked up into the spray of water, praying to God for forgiveness.


Kurt felt the guilt tearing holes in his soul as he watched Liesl sing. She was so innocent and pure, she needed his compassion and kindness, but he’d turned her into some sort of lust object in his mind, having not been able to stop from pleasuring himself multiple times over the days since he’d first done it.

He’d uncontrollably masturbated, followed by furiously begging God for forgiveness for his transgressions against his body and the beautiful woman haunting his thoughts, shower, and bed.

The crowd pushed to get down to the floor, somehow pushing Liesl to the front and onto the floor first, making her duck to the side and escape down a side hall and out of the side door leading to the courtyard. She gasped a breath and let it out in relief. “Like a stampede of cattle,” she muttered to herself.

Kurt stood at the side, watching as the crowd bundled Liesl away, surprised at their excitement to leave. But, then, there were only a couple of weeks until Christmas, and shopping was most likely on their minds.

“I believe your conversational partner escaped that way,” Father Connor told him with a grin.

Kurt nodded in thanks and headed down the hall he’d pointed to, following it and stepping out onto the sidewalk next to the garden by one side of the parking lot.

There was Liesl, standing near a pile of snow, looking down at what patterns had been dripped in by the icicles on the roof.

Kurt stepped next to her and she looked up at him before gesturing out to the line of cars slowly leaving the parking lot. “‘Tis the season for rush and consumerism,” she commented.

Kurt smiled at how her thoughts seemed to echo his. He wasn’t even imagining them this time. His cheeks heated at the reminder that he often day dreamed about her, and in less than honorable ways.

She looked back to him. “Do you do any Christmas shopping?”

“Ja,” he answered. “I have a few people; Father Connor, and a couple of friends that I used to work with.”

She smiled, and he felt his insides warm. “I wrap a lot of presents, but none of them are from me,” she told him. He lifted a brow, and she admitted, “I do gift wrapping for a department store. When I’m not working at Santa’s village, anyway.”

He smiled. “You must be very good at wrapping presents.”

She shrugged and looked away. “It’s the only thing I’m good at, aside from singing.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets and turned toward the parking lot. “My skills are only going to be useful for another few weeks, though,” she murmured softly.

Pain struck Kurt’s heart again; a few weeks were all he’d have with her. She’d leave after Christmas, he’d finish his training and be moved to his more permanent church, who knew where, and while she’d be able to return next year to sing, he would be unable to leave his post.

A slight panic filled him, clouding his judgment.

He’d never be able to see her again. He’d only have the cd she’d made, and the memories of her smile, eyes, lips, and body. And the agonizing need to touch himself as he thought of her every night.

Kurt’s hands reached out and took hold of her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

Liesl looked up to him in surprise, only for her eyes to widen as his lips crashed into hers.

He was gentle, but insistent, his soft kiss asking her lips to open, and letting his tongue slide in when they did. His arms wrapped around her, his hand on her side as his other fingers tangled in her hair to hold her close.

Liesl had been kissed before, but she had always felt so nervous, worried that she’d react badly or straight up freak out because of the past, and she had ended up a mess, not really able to enjoy it much, but this. This was different.

He was soft and warm, insistent, but not demanding, asking, but not forcing, it felt good, he tasted good, and he knew how to kiss, which was surprising for a priest.

Liesl’s eyes sprang wide again in shock. Her hands rested against his chest and shoulder, having moved there on their own, and they didn’t want to leave. She wanted to keep kissing him, but- he was a priest! She was kissing a priest!

She was one of those women, a temptress to turn the holy into the wicked, leading the pure astray and dragging them to the depths of Hell.

Whore-

Devil’s plaything-

Jezebel-

She pulled back, her lips parted, her eyes wide in horror.

Kurt looked down at her, desire visible despite his cloaking contacts.

Liesl pushed back from him slowly, stepping back despite her body crying at the loss of his. She turned and ran down the sidewalk and around the edge of the building to the part of the parking lot where she had left her car.

Kurt stood, watching the direction she’d left, seeing her car pull out and speed off. His heart felt as though it had torn to small pieces.

What had he done?

The answer was very simple. He’d kissed Liesl.

The rest of the very simple answer was that he’d destroyed everything; she would never be able to feel safe or comfortable around him again, she’d never be able to trust him, she’d never be able to look him in the eye, he’d broken his vows again, now, making him a disgrace to the church and humanity, plus mutants… All his fault.

And he couldn’t help but wonder numbly; what had he done?

He'd destroyed everything.



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