BY : Karl55
Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Uncanny X-Force
Dragon prints: 1049
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, nor do I own the characters from it. I make no money from the writing of this story.



After Kurt Darkholme betrays X-Force, he faces a reckoning of his own.

 This story takes place after Uncanny X-force # 34. It is the 4th in a story arc focussed on Kurt Darkholme.  There is a chronological list of the rest of the stories including URLs after the German Translations at the end.

 (Author’s note: I personally do not believe in life after death, but since Kurt’s spirit visited Logan in the Marvel Universe, it is most certainly possible there.)

 Romans 12:19+2119 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. . .21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.


It’s dark and cold.  I hurt, but in a distant way, as if it’s not me but someone else who feels the pain.  Why am I here?  Where is here?

I struggle to remember what happened.  I must make sense of this.  I was injured, impaled by that robot creature.  I managed to find my mother and take her to safety before I blacked out. No, that was not my mother, it was – it was – someone from that other world.  Yes, that’s it.  The world where I finally succeeded in killing Fred Dukes.

Satisfaction spreads through my being.  At last, I have my revenge!  It took too long, but I finally did it.  Linda.  I have avenged her death.  Yes!  It does not matter what happens now.  I can die a happy man.  It was worth it, for you, my love.

I try to concentrate on my success, the way I watched him die as the shark devoured his innards.  He suffered terribly, as you did, my Linda.  He has paid the price, and I was the one who collected it for you.

Another image superimposes itself upon that gross body; her ravaged corpse, just as I have imagined it so often over the years, a vision that never failed to ignite my determination to destroy her killer each time I called it up.  In fact, when I think of her now, all I see is that hideous image.  I want to banish it, but I cannot.

I never saw her body.  My friends kept me from that.  But it didn’t matter.  Haven’t I seen the bodies of his many other victims?  I know too well what he did and how he did it.

No!  No more!  She is at peace!  She has to be!  I have avenged her, even though I betrayed my teammates to do it.  It was worth it, even if they died as a result.  The Blob is dead.  That’s all that matters.

 And yet I can still feel how gentle Logan’s fingers were as he made me ready to accept him into my body for the first time.  He was so patient, when only moments earlier I'd lost myself in a brutal ravaging of his flesh.


 No, I will not think of that! 

I fight against the darkness surrounding me, but I cannot move.  I cannot even teleport, since I have no idea where I am, much less where I could go.

The blackness splits apart with a strange noise, as a pale blue haze of light and smoke appears before me, outlining the silhouette of a man dressed in a plain white robe with a hood that keeps his face in shadow.

“Kurt Darkholme, I had such high hopes for you,” he says sternly, with a German accent very like my own, “but you have disappointed me.”

“Was?  Wer sind Sie?” I demand.

“You do not recognize me?”  He folds the hood back off of his head.  “Are you that blind?”

I look at him more closely.  Yes, I have seen him before, but only in fragmented visions.  “Sie sind mein Doppelgänger, Kurt Wagner.”


“Was machen Sie hier?”

“Obviously, I am talking to you, just as I have done before.  And you vill now speak in English, for the sake of one who cannot speak German fluently.”

“Vhy?  You are dead.  English or German, you cannot be talking to me.  This is not possible.”

He steps aside and someone else walks out from the shadows behind him, wearing the same white robe, but with the hood pushed back to reveal her face.  “And I suppose I can’t talk to you either, can I?”

“Linda?  Mein Gott!  Linda!”  I want to go to her, to take her into my arms, but I still cannot move.

“Oh, my dearest Kurt, how could you do this?  Did you imagine I wanted it?  That the death of the one who murdered me would make me happy or bring me peace?”

“Y – yes.  Please, Linda, I –”

That other Kurt shakes his head again as he interrupts me ruthlessly.  “The dead have no need of revenge.  Justice, however, is something else.”

Linda takes it from there.  “If you had sought out the Blob so that he couldn’t do to others what he did to me, I would at least be proud of you.  But it was merely in order to satisfy your thirst for vengeance, so all I can offer you is my pity, for you were willing to sacrifice those who could have loved you for nothing more than your own overriding hatred.”

“I only did it because I loved you so much!  I don’t care about them.  All I vanted vas to take vengeance upon my enemy.  Your enemy.” 

 For a split second, I see again the sunset fading in the desert sky, with Wade lying by my side.  Full of glittering stars, its unspoiled beauty  overwhelms me with a strange joy at the incredible beauty of this world.

But that’s irrelevant.  I could not have allowed myself to care about them, even if I had wanted to.


“And you took your vengeance, but was it worth leaving Logan and Wade to die?”

“That overbearing asshole with the claws and that refugee from an insane asylum?  Vhat are they to me?” I say with a sneer.

Kurt Wagner closes his eyes briefly, as if in pain.  “They could have become very important to you, if you had let them.”

I knew that all too well, but I would not admit it to him, much less mention such a thing in front of my Linda.   I shrug dismissively.  “I only needed them to help me get vhat I vanted.  They did not matter.”

“They vere your teammates and –” I glare fiercely at him, wanting to stop him from saying the next words, but he ignores me.  “— your lovers.”  His lips quirk into a smile.  “Vhat is the matter?  Do you think she does not know?”  He turns to her.  “Linda?”

“I would not have wanted it otherwise.  The dead are not jealous.  Take love wherever it can be found, for it’s the most precious thing in the world.  And give love wherever and however it may be offered to you.”

It hurts too much to hear her words.  I hang my head and close my burning eyes as she continues.  “Yet you left them to die, along with that poor confused boy.  Do you call that honor?”

“I – I vould have gone back to save them, if I could have.”  I dare to glance pleadingly up at that beloved face.  “I vould have.  Please!  You must believe me!  I vas badly injured, or I vould have tried.”

Even as I say it, I realize it is the truth.  If I had not passed out after getting Mystique away from the collapsing building, I truly would have tried.

Linda stares hard into my eyes, as if trying to discover if I’m telling the truth.  She’s done that often before, knowing that I would not be able to meet her gaze if I were lying.  My eyes would change color just enough to give me away.  I stare back without flinching.

“I believe you,” she says at last.  Placing a hand on that other Kurt’s arm, she tells him firmly,  “The man I married would not have left others to die, if he could have saved them.”

He tightens his lips slightly, but does not reply.  But what he thinks does not matter.  All that counts is my Linda.

“Vhat – vhat happened to them?” I finally get up the courage to ask my accuser.  “Do you know?”

“I know.  And I vill show you.”  He waves one hand and a scene plays out against the backdrop of the darkness surrounding us.


I see Logan floating in a tank of water, drowning, eyes half closed, as that no-good son of his taunts him about Evan putting on the Apocalypse armor.

 Wade, holding a sword dripping blood over a dying Skinless Man, saying, “That’s for Fantomex.”

Evan, kneeling before his beloved Uncle Cluster’s body, asking how people can be this horrible.

 Wade, kneeling next to Logan, kissing – no, trying to resuscitate him.

 Logan, apparently recovered, locked into a savage battle with Daken, at last drowning him in a puddle, then pulling him up and holding him in his arms, with fires burning all around.

Logan, stopping Evan from killing Sabretooth, his voice ragged with devastation and desperation.  “Look around you, son.  This is revenge.  This is what it gets.  It’s all a mess.  Ain’t a thing – ain’t a damned thing solved – You see that, Evan?  For the love of God, tell me you can see that!”  His voice fading into unconsciousness as he collapses in Evan’s arms.

Finally, Evan carrying Logan to the Ship, where Wade and Betsy stand waiting in the entryway.


“They – they all survived?” I ask, my voice catching in my throat.

“Ja.  No thanks to you.”

I have nothing to say in response. 

Somewhere in my mind, I hear Wade’s voice:  “I don’t want to let anyone down, because this is the closest thing to a family I’ve ever had.”

Another memory: The hard strength of Logan’s arms wrapped around me from behind, holding me back against his chest, as if he never wanted to let me go.  And how wonderful it felt, to be held that way.


“Do you have any idea how much you hurt him, Darkholme?  How much he needed you after he killed his son?  But you vere not there, and all he had vas the memory of your betrayal.”

I have had enough of this.  “How dare you stand in judgment over me, you self-righteous ass?!  I vas nothing to him, or him to me.  Yes, ve fucked each other a number of times.  That does not make him my lover, nor my responsibility!  Because you may have loved him does not mean that I did also!”

But I remember that last time, when Logan asked if he could call me Kurt, and the intensity of the kiss I used to answer him. 

Then Linda looks at me, and I cannot meet her eyes.

“Linda, no!  I did not love him,” I protest, against the evidence that I know shows in my eyes.  “I have never loved anyone but you!  Never!”

She shakes her head, smiling sadly.  And Kurt Wagner sees this, and he knows.

“Never,” I repeat brokenly, lapsing into German.  “Niemals.  Nur dich, meine Geliebte.  Only you.”

“You are a liar and a traitor,” Wagner states implacably.

“I vas only there to pursue my enemy.  I never claimed othervise.  They knew that.”

“Did you learn nothing from Logan’s vords to Evan about revenge?”  Now he sounds defeated, as if he has given up.

“I had a right to take vengeance upon the one who wronged me.”  I stare him coldly in the face, daring him to deny it.

“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord,” comes the quiet reply.

That is too much for me to take. 

“Nein!  Mein ist die Rache!  A monster is dead because I killed him!  Und I vould do it again, if I had the choice!”  I reach behind me for my sword, but it isn’t there.   No matter.  Somehow, I am free to move.  I start to lunge forward at him.

Linda steps between us, the expression on her face more awful than I have ever seen it before.  She touches my forehead lightly, with a gesture as if she is pulling something out of my mind.

And the image that has stirred me to revenge for all these years stands revealed here before me, but it is worse even than I had imagined it.  I rear back, a scream caught in my throat.

“Yes, dearest Kurt, this is the body you buried in my coffin, and this is the way it truly looked when he was done with me.”

Then another familiar scene flashes before my eyes:  the blood-spattered living room, the Blob holding a fainting Linda in front of him.  Again, my imagination, since I never saw what happened.

“Foolish man, do you think this is how it was?  That I fainted away, still fully clothed?  Oh no, my husband.  It was not so easy.  I was no passive victim.  I fought him with all my strength as he rammed his penis into me.  When he bit and tore at my breasts, so did I tear at his putrid flesh with my teeth and nails, screaming obscenities.  When he tore my belly open and wrenched out my sexual parts, I was too weak to struggle any longer.  I could only watch as he squeezed his own semen out of my savaged vagina into his mouth.  When he bit into my womb, I knew he was ending the potential life of the child I had conceived.  Yes, my love.  I would have told you of that at our next meeting, but I never had the chance.

“When he finished, his face bloodied and smiling, he licked his lips, then grabbed my hair, pulling my head up so that I could not help but see what remained of my body.  I was beyond sanity by then, able to do little besides whimper and wish for death, but I heard him say, ‘See?  This is what that devil’s spawn you married will find when he comes home to his loving wife.  This is what a filthy little bitch like you deserves, for offering her body to our enemies.  Keep watching now.  I want you to die with this image before your eyes.’

“Still holding my head, he wrenched my legs apart with his other hand, opened his mouth and began gnawing on what remained of my external sex organs.  When he lifted his head, I could see the white gleam of my pubic bones through the blood that was now oozing only slowly out of the gaping hole of my pelvis.

“He tore great chunks of muscle from my thighs.  His open mouth loomed in front of my eyes, but I was mercifully dead before his teeth closed on my face.” 

She stops, as if dazed.  I stand frozen, paralyzed by the pure horror of her words, while my doppelgänger places his arm around her waist, supporting her and letting her lean up against him.  I want to speak, but there is nothing I can say.

The hideous image of her corpse still stands beside me, wavering like a ghostly apparition.  I do not want to look, but I cannot look away.

Linda notices my glance and pulls herself up straight. 

“You’ve held this image before you since that day.  But now I beg of you, Kurt Darkholme, if you love me, if you ever loved me, to put aside that memory of the body that lay in the coffin and see me forevermore as I want you to see me:  the way I stood before you on our wedding night.”

The image flickers out.  Linda’s robe evaporates and she stands there, naked and radiant with glory.  She approaches me, her hand reaching out to caress my face, wiping away a tear that runs down my cheek.  The gleam of her wedding ring catches my eye.  Oh, Linda, meine geliebte Frau!

“From now on, see me only like this, my beloved husband.”

She walks over to Wagner and takes his hand.

“No!  No!” I scream.  “Don’t leave me!  Let me stay vith you!”

“That cannot be,” she says sadly.  “We need to return, and it is not time for you to go with us.”

As they start to turn away, I grab hold of the back of his robe, begging, “Please!  Please!  Please!  Have mercy!”

He looks back at me and his glowing golden eyes meet mine; they are as full of tears as my own.

“You have much to learn, Kurt Darkholme.  But there is still a chance for you.  I pray that you do not disappoint us again.”

They disappear together into a cloud of smoke and light.

“No!  Linda!  No!  Come back!  Stay vith me!”


Saying that, I fall into a sort of hazy consciousness.  The pain reasserts itself, no longer distanced from my mind.   I must have been drugged, and am just now coming out of it.  The fog clears slowly, a bit at a time.  I open my bleary eyes.  Medical equipment, but this room does not have the appearance of a hospital or infirmary.  I try to sit up, but a fire blazes through my chest at the movement.  I collapse again with a soft cry.

“Kurt?”  My mother’s voice.  No.  My mother is dead.  Her doppelgänger, then.  She has stayed with me, caring for me.

She takes my hand.  “Can you hear me?”

“Ja,” I manage to say.

“You’re badly injured.  You must lie still or you’ll make it worse.  I’ll give you some more painkiller.”

“Nein.  I need to – think.  I am all right.”

She runs a hand through my tangled hair, as my real mother used to do.  “I don’t believe you for a minute, but if that’s what you want –”

I smile at the feeling of her hand in my hair, stroking me gently, as if wiping away the pain and sorrow.  I let my eyes fall closed as I nod my head.

What happened to me?  Was I really with them, or was it just a dream induced by the drugs?  Could I have imagined that, even if I had wanted to?  No, it was too horrible, and too glorious.  And I have seen that Kurt before and heard his voice.  Am I going crazy?  No, Logan said he saw him too.  But it cannot be real.  The dead are not alive.  Are they?

I do not know the answer.  But later on that night, when I finally dozed off into real sleep, Linda came to me in a dream, just as she had come to me on our wedding night, and we made love.



German Translation

Was?  Wer sind Sie?    What?  Who are you?

Sie sind mein Doppelgänger.   You are my double.

Was machen Sie hier?          What are you doing here?

Niemals.  Nur dich, meine Geliebte.       Never.  Only you, my beloved.

Nein! Mein ist die Rache!    No!  Vengeance is mine!

meine geliebte Frau             My beloved wife.





Comicverse – Single stories






The Monster



Darkholme Story Series:


Der Doppelgänger



Of Angry Elves and Mouthy Mercenaries



Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks)





STORY ARC -- Movieverse


Morning Devotions


Something a Little Different


As the Twig is Bent


Pray for Us Sinners


With Nothing on My Tongue


You Win, Elf


Hell Hath No Fury



There last ones are not really part of the story arc, but could be either comic or Movieverse.


Let's Pretend


Happy Birthday, Elf









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