Torment | By : GreenRogue Category: X-Men - Animated Series (all) > Het - Male/Female Views: 3001 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own X-men nor the marvel universe. The story within is written for pleasure and no monetary gain was received in the writing of this fanfic |
She could only fly higher. The wind stung her cheeks and her hair fluttered behind her as her climb in the sky brought her further and further away from the world below. She could hear planes soaring under her, she should stop now before she went to high but something kept her going. Monsters and demons chased at her heels urging her up, up, up.
'You stole us, you murdered us, thief, murderer, THIEF!'
The tears froze to her skin as she continued to climb, her lungs burned uncomfortably in the freezing air. She slowed and froze on the edge of perpetual twilight, the stars unobstructed from her view and the clouds floating lazily under her. Nothing came this high, nothing could survive this high. 'Cept meh.'
The woman curled against herself trying to find comfort in the only person she could touch. Her clammy hands pushed against her burning eyes, the voices inside pounded against her mind urging her further.
'You stole us, you murdered us, thief, murderer, THIEF!'
She sobbed against her hands, their words pulling against her sanity. She never found her solitude, she had constant reminders of her "gift". 'Why am I fightin' this? Their right, I can't… I don't think I can do this anymore.' The woman turned her gaze up towards the stars, their distant light twinkling, mocking her. They called tonight as they did every night. The promise they could bring of hope upon their soft light. A wish, which could never come true. She reached her arm upward, cupping one of the stars in her palm. She smiled slightly as she gazed into its light, remembering the light from another time, another hand that cupped its beauty with her. She remembered the quiet nights, the wondrous nights they had together. He brought her so high, so high. She pulled her arm back to her chest and squeezed her eyes closed, The voices would protest, they would grow louder if she let herself go somewhere happy. They always protested, a moment of silence here, a soft smile there, contentment was not allowed when she was a thief and a murderer.
The woman stared at the stars for another moment before leaning backwards in the air, her arms outstretched at her sides. Breathing as deeply as the thin air would allow she felt the free fall begin. The voices quieted instantly and she smiled. The wind gave way under her, faster and faster she fell and the clouds swallowed her whole. She turned and with bleary eyes watched the lights of the city below reach to meet her. How far would she go this time? How long before she chickened out and pulled back? She reached the sky scrapers now, their darkened windows flew past her, the lightened street rushed to meet her. Closing her eyes, she waited to see if this time… this time it would happen.
All at once the descent stopped, her body jerked as her hips were pulled upward. She turned, prepared to break whatever she snagged on and was surprised to see nothing. Her belt was pulled away from her body by an unseen force. She slumped and closed her eyes allowing the force to pull her up slowly. When she felt warm hands on her covered arms she opened her eyes again to stare into the darkened helmet of Magneto.
"My dear, if I didn't know any better, I would say you were trying to have a thrill at the expense of my sensibilities." Magneto released her arms allowing her to walk away a few steps turning her back to him. She clenched her hands at her side, the voices were screaming again, reminding her of her faults and failings. Their combined screams echoed in her mind turning into a chorus, a demented opera to her numbed ears.
"Magneto… I'ah didn't expect ya to be around. What brings you to the city of lights?" He chuckled darkly and she felt him walk behind her to the edge of the building.
"You my dear Rogue, I've heard some… disturbing things of late and had to see for myself." Her cheeks flamed hot at his words and she could feel her anger simmer just under control.
"I'ahm sure the show was worth the trip for ya. Send me a post card when ya'll are home again." Her anger simmered and cooled and simmered again. She didn't need to have this conversation tonight, not this night. He sighed behind her and she felt his presence just inside her personal space. She turned and looked into that dark helmet, open eyes stared back at her, concern and something else glinted back through the darkness.
"My dear Rogue, what pains you so to play these death games with yourself?" She broke contact first turning and jumping into the air, her eyes stinging from more than just the New York winter air.
'Your fault, will always be your fault…. Thief'.
Rogue breathed deeply trying in vain to erect the barrier the Professor had taught her all those years ago.
"If ya don't mind Magneto, I'ahm a bit tired for our witty exchange this evening. I think I'll have to take a rain check." She started to pull away but was stopped yet again by the cursed belt around her waist; it tightened almost painfully forcing her to turn in the air. He was, close behind her, his hand hovered just above the skin of her face. His expression was unreadable beneath the thick darkness of his helmet. Finally he lowered his arm and Rogue felt her belt loosen. This time it was his to turn away first, and with his cape flapping like a menacing comic book character, he disappeared into the darkness.
Rogue took another moment and stared up into the cloudy sky, the stars hidden by the thick clouds. It was going to snow tonight; the white pristine powder would blanket the city and for a least a little while the city would look clean.
'Murderer, thief, you don't deserve your peace!'
Gulping back her tears Rogue turned and made her way back to the X-mansion and back to the crowded halls and loud students. Back to the pretending and hoping for another day she wouldn't crack, and the everyday existence she had come to know.
~1 year earlier ~
The X-mansion was quiet as Rogue walked through the kitchen door. A few pots set soaking in the tepid water and the dripping faucet echoed in the dark kitchen. She crossed the large room and went to the fridge to grab a coke from Kurt's hidden stash and the aspirin from the cupboard. Trying to shop for presents in this madhouse of a city had grated on her nerves. Pounding back the soda to avoid gagging on the two little pills she made her way to the rec room and the few souls who were stuck here during winter break. Evan sat in one of the far corners working on his skateboard in the dim light; he was smiling at something Ororo had said as she wrapped gifts on the floor next to him.Kurt sat with his girlfriend Amanda on the couch watching an old black and white Christmas movie and Kitty and Lance were on the other couch spending more time playing footsie than watching Bing Crosby wail away about a white Christmas. Rogue stepped back into the dark hallway not wanting to disturb the couples and went to the main entryway. The giant Christmas tree glittered in the dim light of the multi-colored bulbs, the holly filled the air with a sweet smell she had grown accustomed to after the few years living at the institute. Her booted feet padded lightly on the carpeted steps as she made her way to the second floor. She paused for a moment as a fresh wave of pain enveloped her senses and the usually quiet din of voices echoed in her ears. Her knees landed painfully on the edge of the step and she hissed at the pain.
With her eyes squeezed shut she could see the masses in her mind swelling and pushing against her. Their dark forms blending and yet distinct against each other. She opened her eyes and stood shakily, her bruised knees protesting her movements.
'At lease I can blame these on the danger room this time.' At the thought of another training simulation, one of the voices roared to the front and instantly her sight took on a red hue. Closing her eyes quickly she fought against the urges of Cyclops.
'Work harder, work faster, you not practicing enough, USELESS!'
She ran her hand along the banister in the direction of her solitude. If she could just make it to her room…
"Stripes? If it's so dark for you to feel your way, maybe you should turn on a light?" In her inner mind Rogue could see Wolverine bare his claws and rush at her from the dark. She opened her stinging eyes, her breathing harsh.
'Sneak in the dark, I'll teach you to be a thief you disgusting bitch!'
Rogue jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned, glancing at Logan's concerned face. Every hair follicle and pore stood out to Rogue's enhanced senses. She could smell the stale cigar smoke mingling with beer on his breath. His warm hand heated her clammy skin under her shirt. 'You just steal what you can't have little girl, you're a menace to the world.'
Rogue shrugged out of his grasp, hiding her grimace at the growing headache. "Sorry Logan, guess mah mind had wandered." He looked at her skeptically and was going to say more but Rogue side-stepped him and made her way down the hall at a quicker pace.
"I'll cya 'round alright? The shopping crowds really wore meh out". She didn't wait for a reply as she turned around a corner and went straight into her room. Once inside, she leaned against the closed door and let out a sigh. Wolverine fell back into the crowd and she was left again to the din noise that kept her company in the dark. The radio in the corner was playing some sort of rock song turned Christmas-y and her bed was in the rumbled state she had left it in this morning. Kitty's bed laid crisply made on the opposite wall, the several stuffed animals Lance continued to buy her started at her with small beady eyes. She was a junior this year and yet still insisted to act like a child.
'I'm like, so not a child. It's like, not my fault no one enjoys your company.'
Shadowcat's shrill voice interrupted Rogue's moment of silence causing a sharp pain in her head. Rogue stumbled to the stereo to turn it off but her hand passed right through the black knob. She could feel the voices snicker at her and in her frustration; Rogue instead grabbed the internal wires and pulled. The radio crackled and fizzled out to her satisfaction.
'You like, so totally owe me a new stereo now.'
Rogue rolled her eyes and collapsed onto her bed. "Bill meh". Placing an arm over her pounding temple, Rogue struggled to push Shadowcat back with the others. When she finally quieted down, Rogue tried to blank her mind concentrate on her breathing. Her meditation skills had grown over the past few months and it seemed to be one of the few things that helped, though it was rare. Groaning she rolled onto her side and pulled a pillow over her head trying to muffle her pounding head. As she drifted off into a fitful sleep, Rogue felt the voices quiet and vaguely heard a presence in her room before all turned to black. Snow had begun to steadily fall outside, their soft shadows passed over the sleeping girls face. Behind her a darker shadow began to twitch and flow in the room before resting over her face.
Rogue frowned slightly in her sleep and shifted on her bed. The dark shadow smiled down at the girl laying on the bed before fading through the wall into the next room. He continued his path until he came to the room at the end of the hall. Materializing fully a man crossed to the desk that held a small laptop. The screen flickered to life before him and he sat typing for a few moments before turning it back off. Leaning back in the chair he closed his eyes and waited. The darkness pressed in around her, the screams were echoing in her ears. Images flashed around her too quickly to see anything that made sense. Mud and rain, a chain link fence bending to her will, a cold sterile operation table, sharp burning pain in between her knuckles. Lightning and thunder deafened her as she was swept away in a fast current of water.
Voices screaming at her, begging for help. German, Russian, Japanese, all pulling at her tightly straining her mind. Then it was quiet, the darkness that once suffocated her, now wrapped itself around her like a warm cocoon. She felt herself relax in the warmth and allowed herself to drift aimlessly in the deep darkness.
'Dear child, you shouldn't burden yourself with these troubles. Let me lead you, let me teach you.'
The deep voice seemed to pull her in a particular direction, she didn't recognize this voice but it didn't matter at the moment. All Rogue noticed was the quiet, the peaceful absence of noise. Slowly Rogue opened her eyes to the pre dawn light. White fluffy flakes of snow drifted past her open window. She shivered slightly but could not find the strength to stand and close it.
"K-Kit…"
Rogue's teeth chattered and her voice cracked as she spoke. She looked at her roommate’s bed and was surprised to see that it was empty.
'Lance and Kitty must have fallen asleep downstairs.' Mustering her strength, Rogue managed to sit up on the side of her bed. She ran her hands up and down her arms trying to calm the goose bumps on her flesh. After a moment she started in surprise and pulled her hands away from her arms.'When did I take mah gloves off?' All at once the voices blew through her mind, her guard was down and Rogue was not prepared for the onslaught. She whimpered and clenched her head from the pain.
'Oye Sheila, let Magma and myself help ya warm up a bit.'
Instantly her body rippled with flames, they danced across her skin and she felt Pyro's fascination with the red heat take hold of her mind. She giggled as the sparks flew before her eyes turning into small fireworks and bursting across her room. Rogue felt her body ripped another way as Iceman took control and cooled the flames before and real damage could take place.
'God, do we always have to clean up your mess?'
Rogue choked back a retort and struggled to regain control. After a few painful minutes she was finally able to dampen the flames on her body. After another moment the ice forming on her fingers melted away. Rogue stood for a moment shaking in the chilly air of her bedroom clenching her arms tightly in her shaking hands. Shuffling to the window, she pulled it shut and leaned her forehead against the freezing glass. 'Professah'?'She called tentatively. When she received no response Rogue sighed and started to turn from the window. Movement outside caught her attention and she stopped to watch Magneto float across the grounds to the woods on the far side of the compound. 'I wonder what…'
As quickly as the thought entered her mind it was gone, a blank look overcame her face as she turned her back to the window and stared absently towards her bed. Taking slow deliberate steps she sat back down at the foot of her bed and faced the darkness of the other side of the room. After a moment, thick smoke curled around her feet and up her legs. As she breathed deeply the smoke went in through her nose and filled her lungs. As she exhaled her eyes closed and she fell back against her bed, the smoke cushioning her fall and sliding her further upward. The smoke curled around her still form for a few more moments before dissipating through the crack in the window.
'Soon…'
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