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To Love and Be Loved By Me	By : HisAsgardianAngel Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 3986 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Marvel owns all characters but the babies. I do not make profit, this is written just out of my enjoyment and bordness. I have no rights to The Avengers or Marvel in anyway.

Chapter List
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It had been a pretty dull day and that was the understatement of a lifetime. The God of Mischief had been stuck in SHIELD's glass prison for a multitude of hours now and toying with Agent Romanoff had only provided him with a tinsy bit of fun. He was sitting and waiting, just waiting for that green freak to break lose from that pathetic mortal. Loki could sense the tension, he knew it was coming.
However from that thought sprang one of Loki's many demons. Who was he to call anyone a monster? This thought settled into Loki's mind like a plague and he cursed himself for allowing negativity to be present when he was so close to victory. But how could he not? These pathetic misguided fools SHIELD was using for their defense against him were no less freaks than he was. He was the biggest freak of them all and he hated himself for it.
Loki thought about the casket of winters and how Odin told him of his parentage. He thought of all the years he'd been conditioned to hate the Frost Giants, to want them to pay for the troubles they'd brought the Asgardian people, unbeknown to himself being bottle-fed the basics of self-loathing by the hand of his own "father".
A bitter taste was rising into the god's mouth and tears were stinging his eyes. It wasn't fair. He'd been such a good son, he did everything he was told, he even watched after his oaf of an older brother when it was supposed to be the other way around. Now he was out on a quest for vengeance against a brother that threw him out of his own kingdom when he used to be the only person Loki could confide in, and a father that never quite loved him as much as he should have.
But that was an issue in and of itself, Loki didn't want to submit to the monster he felt he was, he didn't want to be this person. But at this point he saw no other way, because he refused to role over and be Thor's complacent and weak younger brother like he'd always been, that's why he had to do this. Love Thor as he did he couldn't let go of the lies, the pain, the arrogance.
Loki's mind was now fully submerged in his sorrow, forgetting why he was even in this glass container or why he was so far from home. All he could now think about was his failure as king and his failure at making his father proud, the hole in his shattered and broken heart aching for anything, anything at all to sooth it. Tears ran from his shinning emerald eyes down his pale, delicate cheeks, his body beginning to shake gently as sobs broke loose from his chest.
Meanwhile, Tony Stark was upstairs with the other Avenger's, getting in to a pretty fierce argument with Steve Rogers. Tony had already woken up on the wrong side of the bed, after having another night terror about his father. Howard Stark had never been the greatest dad, always working, never appreciative of what his wife and son did while he was gone, and a drunk, verbally abusive asshole when he was actually around. The one thing Tony held on to as a child was that his mother, Maria, loved him with all her heart, but damn him his father tried as hard as he could in Tony's darkest nightmares to rip that security away from him.
"Little Anthony Stark, the brightest child they'd ever encountered, received top marks in all his classes. Yeah, I bet you wish that was the truth. You were always a disappointment, a nuisance. 'Daddy, look at this, Daddy, I made you this'. Sorry, I was busy working to put food on the table you ungrateful little shit. And now you talk about dear sweet mommy like she was a saint, even have a charity founded in her name, yes? Well I have news for you, mama's boy, she hated you more than I did. She pitied and cared for you out of pure recompense for shaming me with a son unworthy of the air wasted to give you life."
These words were ringing in his ears as Steve got dangerously close to his face, his ever self-righteous blue eyes piercing into him. Oh he could punch him in the face, knock out every pretentious little thought in his frost bitten brain.
"Big man in a suit of armor, take that away and what are you?" Tony's fist and teeth clinched, he didn't need this, not today. He pulled on his best smile, though he knew his eyes and voice betray him.
"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Steve almost rolled his eyes and oh, Tony dared him. Someone was going to die tonight.
"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you." Tony had to close his eyes and count at that, how dare he! After everything he had done to protect this city, to protect the world! Yeah, that was all for his benefit, he almost died on a regular basis just because it met his fancy, that made so much sense.
"I think I would just cut the wire." He quipped, his eyes burning with an intense hatred, all of his pent up feelings just barely contained, an explosion waiting to happen.
"Always a way out…you know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero." Tony would never admit it, of course, but that actually hurt his feelings in a way he couldn't quite grasp. Tony's one reason for feeling good about his life was that he'd made something good out of it, saved people, protected those he cared about. Now it wasn't only his sub-conscious trying to steal that from him.
"A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers! Everything special about you came out of a bottle!" Steve finally back away, much to Tony's appreciation. He needed some breathing room and enough distance from that man or he swore to God he'd choke him.
"Put on the suit, let's go a few rounds!" Tony wasn't much listening anymore, however, as the thought of God had made him remember that Loki was down stairs. He thought back to the night before, having asked Thor what Loki's deal was. He'd now heard an awful lot about Loki's relationship with Odin, and if anyone knew what he was feeling right now it would be him. No one could know that, though, that Stark wanted to seek solace in the very man he was supposed to be protecting everyone from, so he lied.
"Nah, Rogers, I'm good. I'm going to step out and get some air before I do something I regret." He said with a falsely cheerful smile and stalked out of the room, purposely knocking into Steve's shoulder on his way out. He acted as if he were heading for the double doors that lead to the outside balcony and when he was sure no one was looking, sprinted to the elevator and headed downstairs.
There Loki was, huddled in a ball in his cage, crying his eyes out and paying no mind to the sound of the elevator. He couldn't really hear, he was too far lost in his own thoughts and feelings. Tony was caught off guard by the sight before him, watching the man who so greatly wanted to be feared express his most vulnerable emotions. Tony's heart broke a little for the god, opening the door to the glass cell and walking up behind him. Before Loki knew it he was being pulled into a hug from behind and his entire body tensed, whipping his head around to see who was there.
"What are you…unhand me!" Tony's chocolate brown eyes were so soft and he petted Loki's hair and shushed him so gently that Loki quieted immediately.
"Loki…it's okay, I want…I want to be here for you. I don't really know, um, why you're crying, but I might have an idea. Thor told me about Odin…" Loki blanched and stiffened in Tony's arms.
"Oh he did, did he? Told you what? How he loved me like a true son, how he told me I was adopted and didn't lie to me all my life? And I bet he also told you I wasn't a freak and my entire kingdom didn't hate the very people I came from, and that I was being a baby…chasing after my 'imagined slights'?" Tony's heart broke further and he pulled Loki closer to his chest, only furthering the taller man's confusion.
"Something like that. But I know better Loki, I knew the moment I looked you in the eyes in central park that someone had wronged you…someone who was once close to your heart. I have to look at those very same eyes every time I look in a mirror." Loki turned a little to where he was now facing Tony completely, but he did not move out of the warm embrace of the other male, much to Tony's surprise.
"Are you trying to imply that you understand me, Stark? Who has hurt you in such ways?" Tony looked down a little insecurely and sighed, suddenly not really interested in talking about it. Loki used a slender finger to bring Tony's face back to meet his eyes, which were now curious and oddly concerned.
"Who?" He asked again, very gently, attempting to be nice since Tony was showing him more kindness than he'd received in a long time.
"My own father." He confessed finally, playing with a loose strand of Loki's hair.
"I was always a smart kid, by a lot, actually, and one would think that would earn you praise from your parents you know? My mother, yes, she was so excited for me every time I came up with a new little invention, and she'd encourage me, listen to my ideas…but my old man, he…he was never one to be quite satisfied with anything. Up until the fifth grade he'd always hounded me about the grades I was making in school. I had mostly eighties and a sixty in science if you can believe it, not because I didn't understand, but because it all came so easy that I was bored with it, and I never did my homework. He'd get drunk, beat me, then tell me that everyone needs a little iron in their backbone, and if I ever wanted to get anywhere I'd have to work hard for it. He told me he expected one hundred percent averages in all my classes by my next report card. Well, that wasn't hard, I easily accomplished that little goal, and I was so happy when I got home. I thought, this is it, he is going to be so proud of me. So I walked into his office, handed him my report card, and he slapped me in the face. He told me to quit being an arrogant little snot and that there were more important things to worry about. That was only the start of things too, our relationship only deteriorated the older and more defiant I got." Tony stopped and took a long breath, feeling so much better, like an enormous weight had just been lifted off his chest.
"You know…I've never told anyone that before." Loki was still very quiet, studying Tony's face carefully.
"So why did you tell me?" Tony shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"I just thought maybe you'd be the one to understand. Besides, everyone here treats you like an animal, I thought you could use an intelligent conversation with someone." Loki took all this in for a moment, waiting a little too long to answer and Tony started to get up. Loki grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down, confusion and hurt plastering his face.
"No, wait, where are you going?" Tony blinked several times in shock.
"Y-You were being so quiet, I thought you wanted me to leave you alone." Loki shook his head quickly and Tony settled back down, threading his fingers into Loki's hair.
"Loki, what's bothering you? I know you don't know me, but you can tell me. You weren't crying for no reason, and I have no reason to ever tell anyone. I don't even want to be here, I was forced into this whole Avenger's thing, Fury's desperate if you haven't noticed." Tony added the last bit with a sarcastic smirk that Loki returned with a chuckle.
"Yeah, I noticed." Loki curled up against Tony, burying his face into the man's chest, just beside his Arc Reactor, mainly to shield his face from the gentle eyes of Iron Man.
"I don't want to be this way, Anthony." Loki choked out, stunning Tony into silence at the use of his first name.
"All I've ever wanted was to be Thor's equal. That's it, I just wanted my father to love me and respect me the way he does him, to not treat me like a waste of space. When I was younger I thought he treated me that way because of something I'd done, like maybe I was poor in battle or my manners weren't as polished. So I strived to outdo Thor, and on many occasion I succeeded, much to my father's rage instead of delight. And then I learned the truth. My real parents left me to die at birth because I was small and sickly and Odin took me in to bring peace to the two realms, mine and his. But that's all I ever was to him, a stolen relic. I know that isn't this realms fault…but…I have to do this. I have to prove my worth to him. What more do I have to live for?" Tony gripped Loki tightly and kissed the top of his head, his eyes misted over with tears as the slender man in his arms once again began to tremble with silent sobs.
"No, Loki. There are better ways to go about all of this, believe me, I've been in your shoes. You don't need to prove your worth to him, no, that pisses me off! You are a living breathing person who has as much right to be alive and be loved and nurtured as anyone else in these nine realms do! I don't care where you came from, Loki, it's what's inside of your heart that gives you worth, and if your father can't see how good a son you were or how deserving of his love and appreciation you are then screw him! You have nothing to prove to him but one thing. You can prove him wrong. He thinks you're unworthy of love? Show him how much you can love and be loved, find someone to make yours. He think's you're a bad seed, that you're too evil to be pulled back from the error of your ways then do what I did after I came back from juvie, flip him both your middle fingers and go out and save the world! Fuck him, live life the way you want, that is the ultimate way to get back at him. And believe me, you'll feel better once you do." Loki was absolutely in awe at the man holding him against him. No one had ever said anything like that before and had he…had he really just kissed his forehead?
"Anthony I…do you really believe I'm worth saving?" Tony pulled Loki's face to his, staring deep into his eyes.
"We wouldn't be having this conversation right now if you weren't." Loki could no longer contain himself, pulling Tony in to a light, timid kiss by his shirt collar.
"Do you think it would be possible for you to be the one to love and be loved by me?" Tony smiled gently and pulled him back, his lips exploring the God's fondly.
"Yeah…I think that could be arranged." Loki smiled and climbed into Tony's lap, once again placing his head on his chest and listening to the calming hum of the Arc Reactor.
"Will you hold me?" Tony squeezed him lightly and rested his chin atop his head.
"Of course." In the distance an alarm sounded and Fury was frantically screaming through the intercoms that Banner had Hulked out. Loki laughed sheepishly.
"U-Um…I can fix that?" Tony rolled his eyes and only held him tighter.
"You're not moving, they can handle it themselves." For once, Loki was very happy to oblige, and they stayed like that, curled against each other until they were both sound asleep. Neither had ever been cuddled like this before, and though they knew they'd never speak of it ever again, it was the nicest thing either one had experienced from another being there entire lives.
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To Love and Be Loved By Me