Adult-FanFiction.org : Marvel 'Verse

The Tarot Saga: Sex and Candy	By : fuzzybluelogic Category: X-men Comics > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3727 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men comics, or any of the characters from it. I make no money from from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Cellophane.
Someone was crackling cellophane. He rolled onto his back, pulling his pillow
ohis his face, trying to drown out the horrific ter oer of rustling plastic. He
sank back into sleep, and back into the dream. The Monkees handed him rolls of
paper towels and told him where to find the burrow owl that had stolen his
llama. Someone shook his shoulders. Regis Philbin was in cahoots with the
burrow owl and the Amish, he had known it! Now if only he could find a clean
bathroom that had actual toilets in it and not small statues of Iron Man made
from olive l Han Hands pulled at his, he slapped them away and clutched tighter
to the pillow protecting his face. Someone was talking. It was very annoying.
He wished they would stop. The pillow was wrenched cruelly away. His draped his
arms over his eyes. Regis let him know that the Amish had stolen his pants
along with his llama. Damnable Amish and their nefarious pant-stealing ways.
His comforter left without warning. He became aware of a sudden weight descending
on him. Someone was straddling him, pressing against his hips. The sound of
cellophane mixed with the smell of cotton candy lured him away from Regis and
the Amish Menace into wakefulness. His bladder protested against the pressure
of whoever was sitting on him. Other parts of him were perfectly all right with
the situation. He managed to resist the temptation to rock up against that
delicious sensation because somewhere in his sleep addled brain, he knew who it
was.
�C�mon,
get up.� An exasperated voice from above jerked him the rest of the way into
consciousness. He felt a hand snake up his chest, weaving a light trail in his short
fur. He opened his eyes right as Kitty pinched down on his nipple with her
thumb and forefinger. She grinned down at him from her perch on his lower
belly. She had a cellophane bag of cotton candy in her hand. Her lips and
fingers were dyed blue. She twisted his nipple slightly.
�Ow!�
Kurt hissed.
�Get.
Up.� Kitty ordered, bouncing slightly and releasing his abused flesh. �Renn
Faire.�
�I�m
getting up. I�m getting up. I�m�going to pee myself if you don�t stop bouncing
on my crotch.� Kurt sat up, dumping Kitty from his lap. He shuffled towards his
bathroom. Kitty hopped off the bed and kicked her way through piles of
discarded laundry to his closet. Nothing hung from the rod within. His tricorn
rested on the shelf above. Its bright blue plumage was only a little bit bent.
She took it down and carefully straightened the feathers. Kurt�s shower started running. She could
hear him belt out �The Scotsman�. She helped herself to another giant mouthful
of cotton candy and tossed his hat on the bed. She picked up several CD�s he
had sitting on his nightstand. Minstrels of Mayhem, Mediaeval Baebes,
Blackmore�s Night, Dead Can Dance, The King�s Singers, and assorted burned
CD�s. Kurt had set out his �going to the Renn Faire� collection of medieval-ish
music greatness. Kurt wandered out, a towel slung low around his hips.
�I
think you should go just like that.� Kitty sucked blue sugar from her
fingers.
�Naked?�
Kurt�s tail yanked a laundry basket full of his clean but (as always) unfolded
clothes out from under his computer desk. He reached down and fished out his
linen pirate shiris bis black leather pants were already hanging off the back
of his chair. He gathered them up and headed back to the bathroom.
�You
could wear a kilt.� Kitty called. �I�m logging on your computer, I wanna see if
there�s a new Strongbad email.� She dumped the pile of clothes and amazon.com
boxes out of Kurt�s computer chair and settled down.
�No�and
fine.� He poked his head out, hairdryer in hand. �Oh, I cantay tay at the Faire
all day. I�ve got a mission coming up with Logan and Sage. I�m supposed to meet
with them tonight. Gambit might tag along.�
�Remy�s
gonna tag along to the Renn Faire?�
�No,�
Kurt laughed, the image of Remy insisting on wearing his trench coat over rented
garb during the early fall�s still lingering heat coming to mind. �He might
come on the mission. It�s turning into a Black Team thing.�

�Uniform?�
Logan peered at Scott suspiciously. �The Elf didn�t mention nothing about a
uniform.�
�It�s
just a leather-ish body armor laden pants and shirt ensemble.� Scott
explained.. �It�s not like I�m asking you to squeeze into spandex.� The X-Men
Field Leader opened a metal case. They were in the med-lab. Hank McCoy created
the uniforms for the X-Men using the unstable molecular formula invented by a
member of the well known superhero team, The Fantastic Four. He just added in a
healthy dose of Kevlar and made the uniforms aesthetically acceptable.
�Reed
Richards didn�t make this, did he?� Logan backed away from Scott cautiously.
�Reed?
He invented the process but he didn�t, I repeat did not make our
uniforms.� Scott seemed as vehemently opposed to Reed-wear as Logan. He handed
Logan a rather unremarkable black leather pair of pants, short sleeved shirt
and jacket. Wolverine inspected them, they seemed perfectly harmless and
relatively inoffensive. The jacket seemed cozy enough, lots of pockets, and had
a faint black-on-black �X� insignia on the upper sleeves. �Hank can crea
tr
trench coat or duster for you, if you like. It�s how some of the guys
personalize their uniforms. You just get with him about the design and number
of pockets.� Scott continued as he handed Logan a smaller silver case. �Your
comlink unit.� He explained. �You, uh, familiar with Reed�s �work?�
�Yeah,
I�ve seen it.� Logan slipped the comlink case into the jacket�s pocket.
�Scott!�
Jean slid into the room, almost crashing into one of the exam tables. Her
velvet �kung-fu� mary janes had practically no traction. She was wearing a
tightly laced black brocade bodice over a very poofy-sleeved chemise, and two
green skirts, the top skirt bustled up into her brown leather belt. Her head
sported rather lopsidedly a dried flower wreath. �Heed! Coupons! Noooooow!� she
bellowed in her best faux-Scottish accent. Scott yanked his wallet from his
pocket. He pulled out a few bright yellow Renn-Faire coupons and handed them
over to his wife. Jean tucked them into her cleavage.
�I
want those honey-roasted almonds.� Scott grinned and gave her a quick kiss.
/p>

�Behold
my Injun-ness.� Dani dead-panned, strolling covered head to doe-skin covered
toe in fringe layered orange spandex. �I feel like a doofier and sluttier version
of Apache Chief.�
�The only Superfriend
lamer then Marv, Wendy, and Wonder Dog.� Bobby informed the crowd wisely. �Holy
Stereotype, Batman.�
�Enuch Chuck!�
Dani cried and collapsed against Bobby, who patted her back consolingly.
�I
think my soul just died.� Warren said, holding Hank�s clipboard over his groin.
The rest of the women filed out, cussing and red faced. They were dressed
similarly to Jean, just with different coloring and accessories. Storm counted
no less then thirty-three lightening bolt motifs on her costume. Rogue tried to
hide her green and yellow suit under her leather bomber jacket. The med-lab
door opened and Professor Charles Xavier wheeled in, a manila envelope on his
lap.
�Henry,
I brought down that file that we were discuss-...� Charlesoiceoice died away as
he took in the room. �Oh, dear, someone�s let Reed play with fabric again.�

**

< The
scene faded from Logan�s mind.
�I,
uh, well...� He looked down at the boring black leather in his arms with
renewed appreciation. Jean grinned.
�Whenever
anyone bitches about their uniforms, Jean provides a gentle mental reminder of
what could be.� Scott tossed Jean the keys to the Mansion�s van. �How
many of you guys are going?�
�Lessee:
Me, Kurt, Bobby, Kitty, Dani, Hank...I think that�s it.� Jean readjusted her
off-kilter head wreath. �Wish you could go.�
�Me,
too.� Scott handed Logan a thick packet. �Here�s the rest of your Indoc stuff.
Bobby already put you in the system, right?�
�Yeah.�
Logan was still reeling from Jean�s mental display of superhero costuming gone
terribly wrong. �You said you wanted to show me the grounds? You wanted my opinion
on some shit?�
�Ok,
you two...I�m out of here.� Jean shuffled off, her velvet slippers sliding
precariously along the super slick floor of the med-lab.
�Bye,
Hon.� Scott turned towards Wolverine. �Absolutely. I�m going to give you the
guided tour. If what Kurt and Jean say about you is true then we could really
use you and your experience around here.� t pat paused and rubbed the back of
his neck. Logan could smell the lightest trace of fear on the young leader.
�What�s
eatin� you, Cyke.� Wolverine shoved the uniform under his arm. �I noticed Chuck
ain�t come to greet me or Sage. Not even here.� He tapped his temple.
�Yeeeah,
you came at a very weird time.� Scott sighed, �I hate keeping things from them.�
�The
Prof ain�t at a conference in Virginia, is he?�
�No,
he�s not. He was...but then something happened. He stopped answering his
cell phone and didn�t respond to email. He�s always very good about keeping in
contact with us. We�re his kids.�
�So,
he�s not at the conference...where is he?� Logan leaned back against an exam
table, �Can�t you use that Mutant Detector thing?�
�Cerebro?
Yeah, I did. He�s not there. According to Cerebro, he�s not anywhere.�
Scott said.
�Dead?�
A
shadow of grief flickered across Scott�s face, �That�s what I thought at first,
when I first tried Cerebro two weeks ago. Then Jean came to me a few days ago
and tells me that the Professor contacted her by telepathy to tell her about you.
He wanted me to arrange a little rescue mission and send Kurt. She said he was
very explicit that it be Kurt specifically. The Professor was still not showing
up on Cerebro. I just don�t see how someone could trick Jean by impersonating
Charles telepathically.�
�You
opted to not tell the troops out of fear of them losing morale.� Logan scratched
at a bit of ble,ble, �But when Jeannie comes to you saying Chuck talked to her,
you decided to go ahead and send the elf anyway.�
�Kurt�s
very good at self-preservation.� Scott opened Hank�s little minifridge and helped
himself to a Coke.
�You
used the Elf as bait. Flush out what wanted him if it wasn�t Chuck that talked
to Jean.� Logan peeked into the fridge. �But you didn�t tell him, �cause you
were dealin� with a possible telepath and didn�t want his mind read and showin�
your hand.�
�Well,
yes.� Scott sipped his Coke. �Sounds mercenary doesn�t it?�
�Nah.
It�s how ya play the game.� Logan popped open the lone beer he found. �Jeannie deciding
she wanted to go with complicated matters?�
�Boy
Howdy, but I had to let her. If I put up too much of a fight, she might read my
mind.� Scott set his can down and crossed his arms. �I can�t believe how weird
that mission ended up being. Sage alone...�
�You�re
still with lettin� Black Team head to Madripoor to go lookin� for Sage�s Tarot
cards even with Chuck missing?�
�Yup.�
�Why?�
Logan asked.

(A/N: My story �Limits� is the
prequel to this (sort of), I suggest reading it first. I will be editing �Limits�
for better continuity with this story.)
- 1
- 2
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Tarot Saga: Sex and Candy