Unchained Instinct ( Complete)

Chapter 90


Cassie Martin gazed up at the Xavier Institute from the opened gate, transfixed by the majesty of the place. Only a few weeks had gone by since she’d been here, but that brief time seemed like ages. And only months since the first time she’d sat right here looking up at the mansion.

Again, the feeling came over her that a long expanse of time had passed. She shook off the strange melancholy feeling and drove on through to the front steps.

Rogue and Remy met her at her car, the couple just coming around the corner of the building and seeing her.

Remy LeBeau held out a hand and helped her from the car, a charming smile on his lips. “Ms Martin,” he said, bending over her hand like the rogue gentleman he was.

Rogue gave him a backhanded swat on the arm and grinned. “He’s such a waste a time,” Rogue stated. “Ah don’t know why Ah hang around with ‘im.”

“You’ll know soon enough,” Cassie laughed.

“Rogue already know ‘nough,” Gambit injected with a knowing grin of his own.

“Shut yer trap, Gumbo. Ms Martin’s here ta see Kurt, not listen ta yer innuendo.” Rogue slid an arm through Cassie’s and they walked towards the entrance steps. “Yer gonna see Hank too, aren’t ya? He’s missed ya, Ms. Martin.”

Cassie felt a flush of red heat up her face. “Um...we’ve talked on the phone...and yes, I am going to see Hank once I’ve had some time with Kurt. I don’t suppose I’ll have an opportunity to speak to Logan, will I?”

Rogue and Remy exchanged glances, their expressions hard to read.

“Ah think he and the Professor are working on Logan’s...issues,” Rogue finally said. “Of course, that will take months...maybe years.”

“Ah’d say a millennium, personally,” Remy muttered. Rogue flung her companion a glare that softened instantly.

Rogue had It bad for this Remy LeBeau. And Remy had It just as bad for Rogue.

“They will take a break now and then, I hope,” Cassie replied with humor.

Rogue lightened up then. “Ah’m sure they will. Kurt gets anxious if he don’t see Logan for more than a few hours.”

That worried Cassie. Kurt and Logan had come so far from those terrible events over the last year and now here they were again, back in the same dark hole all because of obsession gone so horribly wrong.

Flashes of memory stunned Cassie for a moment, of darkness so complete she’d thought herself blind. That terror rose up inside of her, memories of her own ordeal at Mystique’s hands still too close to the surface. The pain of her broken arm, even now still wrapped in a cast, flooded her body with a wash of ice cold sweat.

Cassie drew in a long shaky breath and let it out slowly.

And she was suppose to counsel someone else through his ordeals?

“Shake it off, woman,” Cassie muttered, deliberately straightening her stance, trying to gather her shattered confidence back together into one piece. She took another breath, calmer now that she’d banished her own ordeal’s memories...for the moment.

Anxious to see Kurt, Cassie hurried down the hall to her usual makeshift parlor turned office. The door stood open, but she sensed Kurt already inside.

Kurt stood at the window, gazing out at the fair summer day, his back to her. He wore no disguise today, just simple loose trousers and a turtle neck shirt that seemed out of place for a summer day...and, of course, his indigo fur. His blue black hair hung down his back, longer than when she’d last seen him and his tail flicked back and forth as if agitated.

He turned and golden eyes met her own and a faint smile made his otherwise grim expression inviting.

“Nice to meet you, Ms Martin. I’m Kurt Wagner. Good of you to come. I’m hoping you can help me through some difficult issues in my life.”

Cassie stared, confused at Kurt’s introduction. “Well...uh...um....”

Then Kurt’s smile widened. “Doesn’t it feel as if we’ve been thrown back in time, Cassie? As if we’re meeting for the first time?”

Cassie smiled back in relief, glad to know Kurt hadn’t had some strange relapse and had forgotten months of therapy.

“I suppose in a way, it does, Kurt” She sat in a comfortable chair and beckoned him over. She reached out to him when he sat, noting a grimace of pain cross his face as he did so. Taking his hand in hers, she said, “I’m so sorry about all that’s happened to you and Logan since last we talked. We had come so far, you and Logan had come so far.”

“And then my crazy mother has to come along and make everything worse...so much worse, Cassie. She’s hurt so many people in so many ways. She hurt you. She’s hurt Rogue. But she’s hurt Logan most of all.” Kurt gently pulled his hand from hers and leaned back. “But, at least, he’s now willing to let the Professor help him. He’s ready to deal with what Mystique did to him. He knows neither of us can go on like this without help...without our friends and family to carry us through.”

“And you have so many friends, Kurt,” Cassie agreed. “And as I understand it, you won’t have to worry about Mystique any longer as well.”

A ghost of consternation fluttered over Kurt’s features then with effort, Kurt banished the spirit.

“She won’t be hurting anyone again. Not for a long time anyway. Hopefully never.”

He winced again as if in pain, shifting in his chair.

“Are you all right, Kurt? You seem to be in some pain.”

A sheepish grin crossed his face. “I’ll be fine. Time will heal my physical wounds.”

Cassie leaned in closer. “Did Logan hurt you?”

Kurt looked away, a frown replacing the grin.

She reached out a hand to his wrist. “Kurt.”

He pulled away and shifted again. “It was the drug...this time. He was just starting to get better. A little, at least. He was trying so hard to get his primal instincts under control. Then She made it all so much worse. Now, here was are again.” Kurt turned his gaze back to her. “What is the saying? Two steps forward, three steps back?”

Cassie nodded.

“Well it seems as though we’ve taken a dozen steps back. And it’s just not fair.” Anger flashed across Kurt’s features, anger deep and searing to the soul. “Is it enough, Cassie? Have Logan and I paid enough for being different? For loving each other? For simply wanting to be together and not have disaster follow us around, striking us down every chance it gets?”

A wave of heart ache sliced through Cassie’s insides.

“Oh Kurt. You have every right to be angry. Every right to ask these questions. I wish I had answers for you. We’ll work to find those answers and to put all this behind you and Logan.”

Kurt shook his head then forced himself to nodded. “Of course we will. You are such a good person, Cassie. I don’t know what Logan or I would do without you. Now, I think it’s time for you to deal with your own quest for answers.” He rose and drew her up with him. “We have plenty of time for talking. But you need to go talk to Hank. I know he must be on pins and needles waiting for your answer.”

“I...nothing’s a secret around here, is it?” Cassie asked.

Kurt shook his head. “Not a single thing.”

*************

Hank paced across the floor of his office/laboratory, his thoughts too scattered to concentrate on his current project. He sniffed the air and smelled Her lilac perfume. His senses reached out and felt Cassie’s presence in the house, felt her calming influence infuse the mansion. She had a way of doing that and that talent had nothing to do with mutation or special powers. Her talent was helping people with her compassion and reason and perfectly asked questions.

A smile stole across Hank’s mouth at the vision of her in his mind. Love for Cassie Martin filtered up through his body and soul and because of that love, he didn’t know which answer from her he truly wished for.

If she decided to never see him again, he would understand. What woman would want to banish herself from society’s pleasures because of her hulking beast of a lover? Life would never be normal.

No family dinners at her parents’ house. No vacations in Hawaii. No big public wedding or strolls through the park together on bright summer days.

Her family might shun her. Her friends also. What did he have to offer her in lew of all those lost events?

Silence filled his mind...and then fear of the loss of Cassie in his life.

A soft knock sounded at the door and Hank strode across the room, stopped for one fortifying breath and opened the door.

Cassie stood there wearing the prettiest pale pink suit that complimented her complexion. She wore her hair swept up and held at the back of her head giving her a look of sophistication.

She smiled tentatively up at him. “Hello, Hank.”

“Cassie. Please come in. I thought you’d be longer with Kurt.”

She strolled in and looked around. Hank hurried to pull up a chair for her. “You would think so, but Kurt had other ideas. He thought I needed to take care of my own needs before I could adequately help him with his own.”

“That sums up our Kurt,” Hank replied, settling into another chair across from her. “He’s a compassionate young man.”

Cassie nodded and looked around again. “Your lab is extraordinary. Some of this equipment I haven’t the slightest notion what it’s for.”

“Well, having a benefactor such as Charles Xavier has its rewards. His wealth allows me to do research that, I hope will benefit both mutants and humans some day.”

Cassie’s smile widened. “I’m certain of that, Henry McCoy. You’re a brilliant man with so much to give to mankind, no matter what genetics has done to change us.”

“You are too kind, my dear.”

A long uncomfortable moment passed between them then Cassie reached out, wrapping her petite fingers around his club of a hand. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry that I needed these few weeks to examine my life and future. I sat in my house, loving it just as I always have, but missing you every moment I was away from you. I thought about my parents’ dreams for my life, of grandchildren and family holidays and all the things parents want for their children and themselves. I thought about how different my life would be if you and I pursued a relationship. I thought about what I would be giving up....”

Hank bowed his head, steeling himself for rejection.

“Then I thought about all that I would gain,” Cassie continued. “I love you, Hank and I would be honored to share those moments of discovery with you. And build that different life with you...if you want the same with me.”

Hank jerked his head up and stared into the prettiest eyes he’d every seen. She wasn’t joking. She was sincere.

“Are you certain, Cassandra?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, Henry.” She stood and slipped onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We will build a new life together and show the world that humans and mutants have the same heart and the same soul. Perhaps we can be an example to the world, but either way I want to spend my life with you...loving you.”

Hank buried his face in Cassie’s neck and held her close. “Yes,” he finally said, looking at her again. “What a shining example we may be.”

*************

There it was. The hole bigger, more jagged and torn. Festering flesh full of infection throbbed with an agony far deeper than Logan thought possible.

That’s what She had done to him.

That’s what he had to find a way to heal...or lose everything he held dear in his life...his lover, his friends – no! His family. Charles and Rogue, Jean and Scott. These were people he loved and respected....and he feared losing both from them because of what She had done to him.

‘Name her, Logan.’ Charles said...not so much inside his head as inside his entire being, as if Charles was inside the marrow of his bones and soul. ‘Put name to the agony. Put name to the one who injured you so terribly. Names have power and when you name your enemy, you gain power over them.’

Logan shuddered, Her face rearing up before him, beautiful and deadly, wicked and sensuous. And her name was....

‘Name her, Logan,’ Charles said gently. ‘And the fight will have begun.’

‘Mystique! Her fucking name is Mystique! Okay?!’

Logan felt Charles smile, felt a mental squeeze of encouragement.

‘Very good, Logan. Face the enemy. You can do that. No one surpasses you at facing your enemies...even this one.’

‘You know what she did, Chuck. How do I do that? You know the things she made me do.’

‘I do know, my friend. We will face this knowledge together. We will banish the enemy. We must heal the wound and build your walls of defense again...stronger this time. I will not desert you in your need, Logan.’

‘And the others? How can I forget what she did in their guise?’

‘By forgiving yourself. No one. Not even you could have withstood the tortures Mystique inflicted upon you. You must believe that first, Logan. You must forgive yourself.’

“It’s...so hard.” Logan put his hands to his face, breaking the mental contact. The physical world wobbled into view again, Charles’ office with the drapes pulled closed against the morning light.

Logan heard Charles sigh and felt the man’s warm hand come to rest on his arm. “My friend, you know this will take time. But that you are willing to let me in and help you is the most crucial step forward.”

“That mean, it’s down hill from here?” Logan looked up and tried for one of his lop-sided grins. It almost worked.

Charles offered him a skeptical expression then a tight smile appeared. “I won’t belittle the magnitude of what we face, my friend. But together we can heal your wounds...if you are willing to work for that self-forgiveness.

Logan sat back and looked away. “That’s what the elf keeps telling me.”

“Our Mr Wagner has made an astute observation then. You’d do well to listen to him.”

“I listen...and he just keeps talking and talking and talking.”

Charles laughed at that and Logan let the massiveness of the endeavor slide away for the moment.

“The rest of the team will be back in a few weeks, Logan. I hope we can have you ready to greet them when they return.”

Logan nodded. “That’s what I’m aimin’ for, Chuck. “I gotta be able to face them, be able to look Jean in the eye and Cyke too. I gotta be able to see Kitty and not think about what Mystique did with Kitty’s face on.”

“Then we have a great deal of work to do, my friend. Shall we continue?”

Logan let out a sigh. “Sadist.”

Charles offered him a dubious expression and a raise of an eyebrow then reached to place his hands at Logan’s temples.