The Seductive Spider-Harem | By : rubicon541 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Spiderman Views: 85775 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 9 |
Disclaimer: I do not nor do I claim to own Spider-Man or any associated characters or any other characters from the Marvel Universe. I also do not own the fandom of Spider-Man or the Marvel Universe. |
"So... do you need to have the suit just... looming?" Cindy asked, looking at the Iron Man armor. It had closed back up and adjusted its posture -- if anything it looked like it was standing in an iconic 'hero at the ready' pose. It even moved a little bit, here and there. Anyone looking at it would assume that Tony Stark was inside.
But when Tony Stark actually was in a room, he was kind of impossible to miss. "Yeah. It likes to loom. I've got a security protocol going -- it's Parker's place so you never know when the Rhino might accidentally fall through a wall or something." He was still looking around at Peter's apartment, somewhat disdainfully. "You know, the super should really be doing a lot more up here. There's water damage on the ceiling. The paint's old enough that identifying it's less a matter of style and more a matter of carbon dating. There are... are those actual two plug electrical sockets in the walls? That's adorable."
"Yeah, Tony," Mary Jane said. "We know. You've got more money than Peter."
"I didn't used to." He snorted, still looking at fixtures. "And you know, I'm not exactly being kind about this place, but honestly... kitchenette, one bedroom, decent sized living room. And..." He leaned to one side, looking into the bathroom. "Yup. Claw foot cast iron tub with shower. Vintage, which is to say it's probably been here for sixty years or more." He straightened back up, turning to face the women. "The funny thing is, it contributes to the slightly run down look of the place which would lower the rent? But if they tore it out and sold it on eBay they'd get... stupid good money for it. Replace it with a shower stall. Molded plastic with a water massage." He nodded, taking another look around. "We're in Murray Hill. That's not the priciest neighborhood in Manhattan by... an order of magnitude or two, but it's not the cheapest either. Good access to the East Village and the Garment District." He nodded. "Place like this? $3,500 a month minimum. Probably closer to five. Peter's credit is crap so they'd be big on security deposits. No roommates not counting... you know what, not going to speculate on living arrangements. Kid was flat broke -- broker than broke. I mean, he managed to take every way to implode a multi-billion dollar business and then wrote whole new ones. I think he actually assumed extra liability and I didn't think that was possible. He's working entry level photoshop cleanup at New York's lowest paying honest newspaper. How does he afford this?"
Mary Jane shrugged. "For once, he got lucky. Guy needed to sublet fast, and had ridiculously long term rent control."
"Imagine that." Tony turned to face Mary Jane, eyebrows up, head cocked.
Cindy's own eyebrows went up. "Wait... you... did this?"
"Kid needed a break. As it turns out, a company I bought which itself bought another company that had a real estate development subsidiary owned this building. It's weird to find out you own a building and didn't know it."
"So... why make him think he was getting a crazy great sublet?" Cindy asked.
"Because Peter Parker takes handouts the way toddlers take medication." Tony put his hands in his pockets, turning to Cindy. "He'll do it, because people depend on him yadda yadda it's Peter, but it burns him up inside. He feels that if he's getting a helping hand from anyone, he's implicitly failed them. Why do you think he still wore a body stocking he silkscreened webs onto for years after he got to be buddies with Johnny Storm? Reed Richards gives out unstable molecules fabric the way I give out grief to people who care about me, and here's Spider-Man running around in torn danskins. We finally got him out of some of those in the Avengers. But you'll notice he doesn't live at the compound, even though that rent is free." Tony cocked his head. "Your... 'silk-sense.' Does that help with textiles? Because it turns out I've missed some important birthdays of some pretty women and I want to make sure I come across as 'generous' and not 'creepy.'"
"I'm set for expensive date night stuff," Mary Jane said. "Sports bras and Lululemon would be useful. Decent workout stuff's never cheap for the well endowed bikini model."
"Why do you think you're one of the pretty women I'm talking about?"
"My birthday was eight days ago."
"Hey, I went to the office party. Turned out you'd quit the month before. We ate your cake. MJ, you and Miss Moon are here in Peter's apartment, Peter is not in Peter's apartment, and the first words you said to me after hi were 'do you have your checkbook.' Peter doesn't take my checks. He doesn't take anybody's checks. In his brief window as a billionaire he spent way too much money on the Baxter Building when the market was Sell, not Buy, entirely so that his friends would have a place waiting for them when they made it home, but he won't actually let them give him a room or a job. He has to work digital prepress when the man invented Webware. What do you possibly expect him to take from me?"
"Worked digital prepress," Cindy threw in.
Tony's head snapped to look at the Korean American. "How do you lose that job? Was he missing for two weeks 'cause he was in space or another dimension fighting the Frightful Four or somebody and performance reviews came up? Joe Robertson knows Peter's attendance history. He wouldn't blink at that."
"The internet." Cindy shrugged.
"...that's a word, but--"
"From what Betty texted me, there's a blog called Techstorm. Well, a site. Whatever. They're really pro-Alchemax the way some sites are religiously pro-Apple or pro-Starkline."
"Yeah, I'm familiar with them. Idiots and small men with loud voices, doing the job that journalists do but claiming that they aren't journalists, so it's fine if they distort or outright lie. Though their vlogger is cute. Her hair is purple, so you know she's up to date on layer two switching paradigm shifts into layer seven. So what?"
"So, they hated Parker Industries and they hated Webware because that was the big competitor to Alchemax and therefore they were evil--"
"The fact that Alchemax was built out of the hollowed out skeletons of Oscorp, Horizon Labs, and Doc Ock's old labs might have something to do with that, too."
"Yeah, well, despite there being no Parker Industries and no Webware any more they're trolls and they never let go of a grudge. They found out Peter was working in the Bugle's photo department, dragged out the time Peter doctored a photo to clear Jamison, and made a stink."
"I've actually met some trolls. Twelve feet tall, kind of blue. Nice people. I don't like people besmirching their good name. So a fourth tier nobody site dug up Peter's screwup and made noise. So what? I get people doing that to me hourly."
"You still have a company. And a legal department. And a spine. Robbie's feeling the pinch, so he did what he could to avoid the appearance of--"
"He did exactly what he did when Peter's doctoral thesis turned out to be rehashed and plagiarized Otto Octavius research since Doc Ock was in his head when he submitted the thing, even though 'science editor' not only doesn't need a doctorate, it barely needs business cards. But it would look bad and he sees the declining numbers. Jesus Christ." Tony rubbed his eyes. "At what point do people get to continue to have jobs and be alive after they did something disgraceful?"
"I dunno," Cindy said. "How did you manage to do it? All those different times?"
Tony smiled, just a bit. "Well, I'm an asshole, and I'm really good at focusing people on the frankly amazing thing I'm doing today, not the less than great thing I did yesterday. And even when I lose everything I'm pretty good at getting it all back. Money makes people accepting of your foibles."
"Is that how Norman did it?" Mary Jane asked, quietly.
Tony paused. "There's a lot I'm willing to take and way more that I deserve, MJ, but I'd prefer you not imply Norman Osborne and I are the same."
"You're not the same. At all." Mary Jane looked somber. "You're a hero. He's... the worst thing to ever exist, except maybe Otto, and Otto has moments where you almost want to have hope for him. Even me. But the playbook you're describing is the reason Norman was able to claw his way back to the center of the pack and the top of the heap, over and over again. It works pretty well for Justin Hammer, too. And the fucking Kingpin is now the fucking mayor." She looked at Tony. "You're nothing like them, but your public redemption narrative is the exact same one they use. More than anything else, that's why Peter's incapable of doing it."
"Exactly. I said that. Only I shortened it to 'I'm an asshole.' It's faster and rolls off the tongue. Sounds less like a speech. Can we get back around to what you want from me, and why you think Peter will even accept it?"
"Sure. But you won't believe it at first. And then when you do believe it, you're going to be an unbelievable asshole about it."
"Oh, I don't believe in the unbelievable. Go for it."
So they did.
Tony stared at Mary Jane, then at Cindy, then back to Mary Jane.
"You win," he said, finally. "I don't believe it."
"It's true," Cindy said. This woman -- this djinn... she can do... anything. They tell me. I haven't actually met her yet."
"Anything? Like, anything anything?"
"Tony... she brought Gwen Stacy back to life."
Tony nodded. "Impressive. Of course, I've died a few times. Most of the time, I found a way to bring myself back. Literally, the last time. But hey, some people aren't quite as self-sufficient. MJ, we die a lot in this business, and a lot of us don't stay dead. Steve Rogers's best friend in the whole world died in 1945, but then he showed up with a metal arm and a gun. I'm pretty sure if Jean Grey dies one more time she gets a free sandwich at participating Subway restaurants. You want to impress me with her power? You'll have to do better than that."
"Gwen isn't like you, Tony. People like you, or Silk, or Peter... Hell, even people like me? That sort of thing happens. Gwen never made that transition. She never had the chance. She was a normal girl, and she died. Haven't you had someone like that? Someone who you knew, who died, and who isn't ever coming back because they don't have spider powers or a connection to a giant cosmic bird or even an A.I. version of himself?"
Tony stared at Mary Jane. "Too many."
"Name one. Just one."
Tony looked at her for a long moment. "Fine. You want one? I'll give you two. Value for the money. It's a Stark Industries core principle and our guarantee to you." He turned and walked into the kitchenette, over to the refrigerator, opening and looking through it. "Morley and Clytemnestra Erwin."
Mary Jane paused. "I don't know who they are."
"That's it. They were nobody. Nobody at all. They weren't even my friends. At that point, I didn't have friends. I had nothing. I literally lived on the street, drunk off my ass. My company, my whole life, my friends -- everything was taken from me -- destroyed by a man named Obadiah Stane in a twisted kind of chess match. I didn't even have Iron Man. I'd given it away, to Rhodey. Not just the armor. Everything. We didn't even tell the Avengers he was a different guy. He found a life. And I managed, barely, to crawl out of the gutter to save the life of a baby whose mother had just frozen to death. I was inches to joining her. I wanted to join her. But that baby..." He shook his head. "Rhodey found me in the hospital. He offered to give me Iron Man back. I said no. I angrily denied it. You want my Peter Parker moment? It was right there. 'Don't call me Iron Man!' That was my mantra. So Rhodey kept it. But he was looking out for me. So when he and his friends Morley and Clytemnestra Erwin decided to jump into a Silicon Valley startup... they literally offered me a job."
"They wanted you to run the company?" Cindy asked.
"I couldn't run a lemonade stand at that point in my life. They hired me... to design computer chips. We developed microcontrollers and purpose made integrated circuits. That was even in the name of the company. 'Circuits Maximus!'" He pulled a can of Moxie soda out of the fridge, snapping it open and drinking it. "God, that was the worst name. Stupid. The only reason they got away with it was because back then you didn't need a brand if that's the kind of work you were doing."
"So what happened?" Mary Jane asked, quietly.
"What happened? Exactly what you think happened, MJ. Because you know this story. You've lived this story a dozen times. Think about it. I had an enemy, obsessed with me, destroying me and taking everything from me, until I denied my responsibilities and made my best friend and his friends shoulder it instead. Don't you get it? This was my Parker Industries moment. This was my Spider-Man moment. And because I refused to admit that Iron Man is part of who I am, I lost my company, Obadiah Stane got access to my technology which he sold all over the planet, to the worst people in the world, and because he was obsessed with hurting me he blew up Circuits Maximus, badly injuring Rhodey and Clytemnestra, and killing Morley Erwin outright." He stopped talking, and looked at the can of Moxie in his hand. "This soda is terrible."
"And... that was the end of it," Mary Jane asked.
"Oh no. I told you. This was my Peter Parker moment. I had plenty of terrible things happening to good people still going on. Ultimately, I went on a rampage. Developed systems to jam and slag anything based on the multiple-reversing magnetic circuit core that was the foundation of... well, essentially everything I made for a while. I took down a bunch of armored villains. I took down some armored heroes. I had a pretty bad fight with Steve Rogers, and lost a lot of his respect. Ultimately, I had to fake my own death when the U.S. Government sent a nuclear weapon to blow me up. But right at the start of all this? There was an assassination attempt from A.I.M. Nothing personal. Just business. Clytemnestra, you see... she'd..." He drank more of the Moxie, wincing at the bitter taste. "You said that Gwen wasn't like us, meaning super people? I accept that. But the Erwins... they took it to the next level. I've met Ghost Spider -- seen a picture or twelve of your friend. She was -- is -- beautiful. Blonde and sexy, innocent but provocative. You must have hated her, once upon a time. She's Betty and Veronica, all in one hairbanded package."
"So the Erwins weren't... what? Beautiful?" Cindy didn't sound impressed.
"Oh, God no. They were... I'm trying to think of a better word than homely, but even that's not quite right. But that's not the point. Beauty's not that restrictive a concept. They were... mundane. They got up, went to work, met people. Did jobs. Tried their best." He snorted, drinking more Moxie and making another face.
"Just dump the rest out," Mary Jane said. "You either love that stuff or hate it."
"Oh no. I'm committed to this terrible soda now. I'm seeing it through." He drank more, then looked off to the side again. "I was their only employee. They put up the money. She was the administration. He was... today we'd call it their C.T.O. but back then we'd have gone with 'tech guy.' Rhodey was the face. The salesman. And that was it. No giant factory floors or groundbreaking work. We made microprocessors for video games or televisions. And even there... I... wiped the floor with them. They'd get a new order in, a new set of specifications, and I'd doodle the whole thing longhand in five minutes. Rhodey was Iron Man, but my just being around gave him a complex about me. And the garbage fire that was my life quickly surrounded theirs, and then there was the bomb, and Morley was dead. With some other girl I didn't know. I never learned her name." He snorted. So... Clytemnestra ultimately couldn't deal. And so she paid A.I.M. to kill me. But I'm me, so she failed, but she was mundane, so she didn't go to the Raft or an asylum to plot her eternal revenge. She just got killed, because she was way in over her head, and I wasn't good enough to save her." He finished the Moxie and looked at Mary Jane. "So. 'Normal' enough for you, MJ? Spider-Man enough for you? Peter Parker enough for you?"
"So what happened then?" Cindy asked, very quietly.
"Then? Well, I'd created a new company out there. Stark Enterprises. This was after I'd reclaimed everything, beaten Stane, and watched him repulser his brains into a Jackson Pollack. Later I bought Stane International back and folded it in. Later lost that. Went on to Stark Ultimate and a bunch of others. Died a few times. Came back. What happened then, Miss Moon? I was an asshole who focused on the amazing things I was doing today, not the corpses of Morley and Clytemnestra Erwin I was responsible for yesterday." He laughed, bitterly. "Peter Parker is the most egotistical self-interested person I know. Anything that happens -- anything -- and Peter twists it around until in his mind and when possible the popular press he's responsible for it! And when he gets that guilt and responsibility in his teeth he bites down hard and he never lets go. And... it makes him a better hero for it. It makes him a better hero than me. It makes him a better man than me. But it is annoying and self-destructive and selfish and I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Cindy-Lou-Who? You asked me why I played an elaborate shell game to get Peter this apartment? I did it because I learned a long time ago that's how you give Peter the help he needs."
"I'm not entirely sure we're on first-name-Doctor-Seuss-reference terms yet." Cindy looked thoughtful, not angry.
"Too bad. You hear my Erwin story? You get to own terrible nicknames. It's okay. I give out good Christmas presents. I like you. You're fun. I'm going to enjoy our inevitable sex."
"You sound pretty certain about that," Cindy said, a hint of a smile on her face.
"Oh, come on. Would I have a shot normally? Actually, probably. I'm good at making people like me in the moment, rich, and I'm actually pretty good at sex. The comment cards are consistently high and they're thinking of making me employee of the month. But you dragged me into this and MJ wants me to pay for something, and this whole thing is centered around some kind of super-powered omnipotent sex cult--"
"We're going with Spider-Harem," Mary Jane said.
"I suggested Fuck Club," Cindy added.
"MJ gets the win on that. Easier to brand, and you can wear the logo t-shirt into family friendly restaurants. If I'm going to be involved, something's going to come up and I'm going to be drafted." He adjusted his collar, aping respectability. "I'm always willing to help my country, my fellow man, and the world. Especially when it involves areolae."
"You're not wrong about Peter, though," Mary Jane said. She laughed, looking off to the side. "My favorite part of every funeral? Is the part where Peter breaks up with me. It's to the point that I can set my watch to it. If it's a funeral and Peter and are both invited, he will go off by himself, stare at the tombstone or the sky or a tree or something, and then break up with me, because he knows he can't get too close or I'll die too. Every time. I want to shake him and yell at him that sometimes the funerals aren't about him."
"I've only been to one funeral," Cindy said. "I didn't like it."
"Yeah, they're not a great use of time," Tony said. "So. I figure if I ask enough, you'll get around to answering me. Why am I here? What am I supposed to do?"
Mary Jane smiled a bit. "Simple. Since we--"
"Hang on," Cindy said. "Gwen's just getting back, and she forgot to bring a key." She walked over to the door. They heard a rattling of the doorknob just as Cindy got there and opened the door. "Hey Gwen. C'mon in. We've got a guest."
Gwen walked in, carrying four bags. "Thanks. Sorry, MJ. I think I broke your--"
She stopped, blinking, and stared at Tony.
"Tony Stark," Mary Jane said, "this is friend Gwen Stacy. Gwen? This is my ex-boss Tony. He will make you annoyed multiple times a day."
"She's not wrong. Hi there, Gwen. Or Miss Stacy. It's... interesting. You don't look--" He looked at Mary Jane. "She doesn't look that much like the other one. Ghost Spider. She's more..."
"Ghost Spider's about five years younger and was bitten by a radioactive spider."
"Well. That would do it. Welcome back to... Earth, I guess would be the right thing to say."
Gwen stared a long moment longer. Then, she dropped her bags, pushing herself into a run, her face twisting into a mask of pure rage, tears streaming from both eyes as she curled her arm back and slammed Tony Stark dead in the face as hard as she possibly could, throwing her whole body into the punch and knocking him to the floor even as Cindy darted forward and pulled the blonde back, Mary Jane grabbing Gwen on the other side a moment later--
The Iron Man Armor powered up, shifting its arms up and thunking as its active defenses went on line--
"Stand down!" Tony shouted to the suit, staring, shocked, at the sobbing, hysterical woman barely being held back by her friends. The suit responded, shifting back to sentry mode. "What in the--"
"You don't get to hurt him any more, you monster!" Gwen shrieked. "Do you hear me? I know! I know what you did! I know about the hundred ideas! I know what you did and I know what it cost him and I know you fucking got away with it-- LET GO OF ME!"
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Peter darted through the open door, flipping over Gwen, Cindy, and Mary Jane and landing between them and Tony. "What is g-- Tony? What are you doing here? Gwen? Gwen?!" He turned to help her, but by now she was sobbing.
"That's a good question," Cindy said, letting Peter and Mary Jane hold Gwen and moving around to lean over where Tony was still on the floor. "What are you doing here? I thought was because we invited you, but maybe I'm missing the bigger picture."
"So far," Tony muttered, rubbing his chin where he'd bitten his lip with the hit. "I'm learning that your 'normal girl' throws a mean punch. I'm not here to cause trouble." He didn't look angry. If anything, he looked chastened.
"I won't let you hurt him again!" Gwen kept sobbing. "I won't!"
"What is she talking about?" Cindy asked, narrowing her eyes. "I didn't get forewarning about it with my silk-sense, so I don't get the feeling I'd disagree with her action."
"I don't know what she's talking about," Tony said. "Jesus -- I think she chipped a--"
"Don't bullshit me, Stark. I told you before." Silk's fingers extended claws, glistening with primed web-fluid. "I was imprisoned in a bunker all those years you were making your genius wunderkind rep. I'm not impressed by you."
"I'm not bullshitting you. And I'm not arguing. She's not lying to you. But I don't know what I did." Tony looked in Cindy's eyes. "Seriously."
"Shh... shh... Gwen, it's all right," Peter murmured. "Tony and I... we settled our differences a long time ago. It's okay--"
"...you don't know, Peter. You don't know everything. I do! I saw it all when Onyah brought me through time. Saw their plans! Richards, and that Skrull Pym, and... and him!"
"I know. It was horrible. I--"
"If they hadn't -- you don't know what you lost because this bastard betrayed you! And... and..."
"Miss Stacy? Miss Stacy, please. Look at me." Tony stepped forward. His lip was swelling and there was still blood. "I am not arguing with you, but please believe me. I don't know what I did. I had to erase my brain and restore my memories from a backup, to protect... to rectify my mistake. But the backup was from long before... before anything that you saw. I don't have any memory of it. I believe you. I'm positive I deserved to be punched. But I won't know why until you tell me."
"Why should I believe you?" Gwen hissed. "You told Peter you were making his armor to reward him for revealing his identity to the Nation, but you really did it to spy on him and learn how to beat him! You used him to forward your agenda and then staked his family and loved ones out to get them killed! And the only reason the man who killed me didn't get the database you forced your friends to fill was because you broke your own law! You're not just a bastard! You're a fucking hypocrite!"
"Yes! I'm an asshole! We established that before you got here! But I don't..." Tony turned around, spreading his hands in frustration. "What am I supposed to say."
"The truth," Cindy said.
"Yeah, well -- it sounds like the Blonde Phantom over there doesn't trust me to do that, so we're at square one."
Peter looked at Gwen, then back at Tony. "No we're not. Ollie?"
"Yeah, Peter?"
"I wish that so long as they know what they're doing and give verbal consent to participate, anyone who holds your naked right breast will be compelled to only tell the truth."
Tony paused, then turned back to face the group. "Wait, what?"
Ollie smiled. "Now you're getting it," she said. "Granted."
"Okay, Gwen?" Peter said, turning back to her. "Will that do?"
Gwen was still crying, but managed to nod.
"Good. Okay. Let's sit down... and let's get something to drink. And then we'll talk to Tony and figure all this out."
Cindy looked at Tony for a long moment, then turned back to Peter. "Hey Pete. We're going to fuck later."
"Hey Cin. Yeah, figured when I saw you. Like your hair today."
"Thanks. I washed it."
Tony stared at them both, then looked at Mary Jane. "You know, everyone thinks that's what my life is like, but I have buy them dinner first."
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