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Damaged Bodies, Growing Lives, Building Families	By : StarLightMassacre Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 20994 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Harry Potter, Avengers or the Marvel universe; all rights go to J. K. Rowling, Marvel and Stan Lee. I make no money for this piece of fictional writing and never will.

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Last Time

Harry patted his thigh to make sure he still had his wand on him, though he already knew he had, and he rode the lift down to the ground floor, he was going to be extra aware of himself this time as he walked home and he wasn’t going to stay longer than an hour or two, but he just needed to ground himself, he was sure he would feel better afterwards and he would stop with the emotional hills, outbursts and mood swings. He was just glad he hadn’t burst into irrational tears yet; he didn’t think he’d live through the humiliation and the teasing that would then ensue after such an episode.

Chapter Nine – Recalibration and Round Two

Harry made it home with absolutely no problems and he let himself in through the front door and inhaled the scent that he associated with his house. He didn’t spend endless amounts of time here, not between working so late and staying the night over at his office, but he knew enough, felt enough, to see this place as his and that comforted him.

He walked around and checked on everything and he immediately felt at ease. This place had been a safe haven away from everything, the troubles at work, Alpha dicks, whenever he felt lonely all he had to do was look around him and the pictures of his loved ones, spaced all throughout the house, were there to greet him and comfort him when he needed it.

He felt calmer as he walked through his house, boiling the kettle to make a hot chocolate, putting his favoured cocoa powder into his favourite mug. It all centred him and he just felt so much better about everything as he took his hot chocolate to his living room and sat on his favourite rug which was so thick it cushioned him.

He folded his legs together and breathed in the scent of his house and his hot chocolate and slipped his wand from its holster, he had been so careful at Tony’s tower, which was so full of technology that Harry thought that his very presence would blow up the entire structure. Jarvis was wired into every inch of the Tower, everything was automatic and filled with technology, he couldn’t use magic in a single room of Tony’s Tower without fear of frying the circuit board of something and it was too risky to try it, if they found out he was magical…he didn’t want to think on what it would do to the Statute of Secrecy or his relationship with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D if he did.

He only did simple spells, summoning some biscuits he knew he had, summoning a book from his bookshelf and performing a strong cleaning spell to get rid of the accumulated dust and slightly off, stale smell, more for something to do than for any fear of inhaling any of the stale air or dust.

He felt better, more himself as he did and less like a pregnancy sideshow for people to watch. He liked the Avengers, but being constantly watched grated on his frayed nerves, it reminded him of being recorded and watched as he was strung up, naked and in agony by enemies.

He breathed in deeply again and settled himself. It was over, just like the war was over. There was nothing he could do, nothing that could change it now, so he had to learn from it and move on, or he was never going to be able to live a normal life. Or as normal as he ever got at any rate.

The truth of the matter was he just didn’t know what to do. It had been sudden, he had been almost at the bottom of the S.H.I.E.L.D hierarchy, doing paperwork and reports, though he knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing those, especially not the ones he had been given at any rate, but then he had been kidnapped out of the blue and tortured for information he wasn’t supposed to have. He knew that was still being investigated, but it wasn’t moving quickly enough and they couldn’t find who was behind it or who had told whoever had kidnapped him that he had had the information in the first place. The trail was going cold quickly and they weren’t getting any answers before they lost all hope of finding any information out.

Then he had been rescued by the world renowned Avengers team and they were all suddenly in his face and in his life, he had woken up and they were just there and they weren’t leaving. He didn’t know what to think about that particular mess.

It was getting easier to be around Clint, he was slowly realising that there had been no way to escape what had happened and it had been Harry’s choice to keep the baby, not Clint’s, but Natasha’s attitude towards him was clouding his judgement. Clint had had nothing to do with her ambush on him, he hadn’t known she had left the Tower and yes, he understood that she was Clint’s best friend, if she even believed in friends, and they had been through a lot together and that she wanted to protect him, but reaming him out like she had, cornering him when he couldn’t get away, he had lashed out and at the wrong person.

Harry sighed and sipped his hot chocolate, putting the book he hadn’t yet opened on the rug. He wanted someone to tell him what to do in regards to Clint, but he knew, as an adult he had to make that call himself, that’s what it meant to be an adult, you had to make all of the hard decisions yourself. Did he forgive the man who had sex with him without his consent, while he was strung up and unable to move or did he forgive the man who saved him from further torment and likely death, the man who was the Father of his baby whether he liked it or not. It was all so confusing and messed up and it gave him a huge headache. He took another sip of hot chocolate.

He pressed his hand to his belly and considered it, it seemed firmer than usual, bigger, but he didn’t know if that was the food and multi-vitamins he was taking to combat the starvation or if it was the baby. His pregnancy was progressing normally, so it could have been the baby, but he had been eating a lot lately, which is why Tony’s comment about pinning the emergency number to the fridge had hit his pride. He couldn’t help that he was getting hungry every few hours and now he was craving food, it was likely to only get worse from here on in.

Harry groaned and rubbed his face. His body had changed dramatically due to the torture, he had a multitude of scars, which were thankfully fading with the weakened salve he had from St Fiacre’s, he could count his ribs and feel his spine, his muscle had melted away to feed his starved body energy to keep him alive and he knew he looked bad, but he was getting better, he had more weight to him now, he looked healthier than he had before he was kidnapped, which could only be a good thing, but now his body was going to change dramatically again, this baby was going to grow, was going to balloon him outwards and if it was too fast for his recovering body to keep up, he was going to end up looking ridiculous with his skinny, underfed body and giant belly.

Taking several gulps of his cooling chocolate, Harry wondered again on what the best course of action was to do. Perhaps if he talked to Clint alone he would feel better, or would know better what he wanted to do. Their last private chat had reassured him a bit as to Clint’s reasoning, even if he hadn’t liked it, he understood. So perhaps another talk was on the cards.

He had no idea what to do about Natasha. Maybe if he sicced Pepper on her she’d back off and leave him alone. Even if he wouldn’t do it, the thought made him smile as he imagined Pepper beating the shit out of Natasha with a thick portfolio. But then he wondered if talking to Clint about it would be better, he was her best friend after all, maybe he could talk some sense into her or at the very least find out why she thought it was a good idea to corner him, trap him after his ordeal and ream him out like she had.

The others he had no problem with, though Steve could be overbearing at times, like a worried, overprotective mother hen, but as he did it to everyone, Harry tried not to fault him for it. He had had a team thrust on him in a time of crisis and he had dealt as best as he could, but active missions meant danger and injury and it was just the man he was that he didn’t want to see any of his ‘men’ hurt, so when one of them was hurt, he flew overboard, which wasn’t always a bad thing, unless you were the one that was hurt, then it was a very bad thing.

Harry smiled. There wasn’t a bad bone in Steve’s body, even though he could be as badass as the rest of them when he felt his friends, loved ones or country were threatened, which made him the perfect Captain.

Tony cared in his own way, though his way of taking care of everything wasn’t a sympathetic ear like Steve, but he lavished everyone with money and expense and technology. It screamed of insecurity to Harry, but he wasn’t going to point it out, Tony was doing fine, especially with the arc reactor in his chest, most people would have just keeled over and let death take them, but Tony was one of a kind and he wouldn’t accept anything lightly, so of course he had found a way to combat what was happening to him, even if he had to build it himself.

Bruce was just Bruce, Harry hadn’t met the Hulk yet, but Bruce was such a kind and patient man, helping him and willing to listen and Harry could see the doctor in the man that had helped people out in isolated villages for pennies.

Harry chuckled as he thought of Thor. The god was hilarious without even knowing it and easily kept him entertained, whether he was misunderstanding something someone had said, or learning how to play videogames with Clint and Tony. Needless to say that the Wii Kinect was the best console for Thor, who liked doing the actions himself and not pushing a button to do the same action. Tony was mumbling about making a new console to incorporate the best of all of them for Thor to play with, Harry wondered sometimes how Tony had time for all the parties and galas he was invited to with all the things he had planned to do.

Harry put his empty mug down and picked up his wand again, doing simple children’s tricks just to feel the rush of magic through his body; the familiar warmth was comforting like nothing else ever had been, though his five broken toy soldiers had come close. Dudley had fallen over and sat on his whole army, buckling them and flattening some, he had managed to save five from the bin. Nolan, Jolen, Bowen, Rowan and Conan.

He had named them in his childish mind, thinking that a name made them more real, so that when he had talked to them, it made him feel better. He knew now it had been a coping mechanism for his lonely, isolated childhood.

He lost track of time and before he knew it he had been gone for three hours, just sat on his rug thinking and planning and wondering and scheduling all the while playing with his magic.

He stood up and put his mug in the sink, he stretched wondering if he should start making his way back before the Avengers got the entire of S.H.I.E.L.D out looking for him, but the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly prickled and stood up on end and Harry looked quickly to the side, through his kitchen window to see a man looking at him through the barrel of a gun.

Harry ducked automatically as the glass in the window shattered above him and he couldn’t help but think this was round two for his kidnappers, who apparently now wanted him dead and not alive so they could torture information out of him because that shot would have definitely been a killing blow, it had been a head shot.

Harry moved away from the kitchen window quickly and snatched his wand from his thigh holster, he made sure all the doors and windows were locked so his attacker couldn’t get into the house easily and he went up to the second floor, where he made an alarming, heart stopping discovery in the form of a hell of a lot of C4 packed up and wired up in his bedroom and spare room.

He had been in a house filled with C4 for over three hours and he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t checked because this was his house, he hadn’t expected anything like this in his house, he would have swept an unknown address automatically, but this went beyond, those people must have been watching his house, just waiting for him to come back so they could blow him to kingdom come and that man outside was probably a watcher and he knew he was in here, he was likely going to detonate the bomb, he had to leave now.

Harry gripped his wand tightly and turned on the spot. The crack of Apparation and the familiar constricting sensation and then he was on the cold pavement sucking in deep breaths and trying not to vomit. He hadn’t gone far, just behind the next house as he had no idea what the effects of Apparation had on pregnancy or unborn babies, he hadn’t read that far yet, didn’t think he had needed too and now it was too late if it was dangerous to his baby, because it was either Apparate or blow up as he heard the almighty explosion that left his ears ringing and almost deafened him. He was thrown backwards onto his back from the force of the explosion and felt some stinging pain which probably meant some white hot debris had caught him.

The tears came before he could stop them. Almost everything he owned was in that house. Most of the pictures of his friends and parents, Sirius and Remus, his documents and paperwork that allowed him into this country, his passport, his house. All gone.

He heard the sirens and knew it would be safe to come out, the perpetrator would be long gone if the emergency services had arrived.

Harry stashed his wand into his holster, ignoring the blood on his hand and the sting that accompanied the movement.

He took a shuddering breath as he sat up and looked at where his house had used to be. There must have been another bomb in the basement, because the entire house, right down to the foundations was just gone, leaving a huge crater in the middle of the street.

He sat there and cried until suddenly there was a man touching him, Harry jerked and was shushed by the bonded Alpha, who checked him over, cataloguing injuries, apparently he didn’t have anything major injured because he was being shushed gently and then carried to a nearby ambulance in strong, capable arms.

He was being cleaned and patched up when S.H.I.E.L.D arrived, the Avengers in tow as they looked to where his house would have been. He wondered if Jarvis had told them that he had gone home, though judging from their devastated faces, the A.I. had informed them.

Tony took out his Starkphone and suddenly Harry heard the faint ringtone for his phone coming from the smouldering, burning wreckage that firefighters were battling to put out. Harry could have giggled insanely at the irony. His house and everything inside it was obliterated, but the Starkphone that had been in his satchel had survived the blast. He started crying again.

“Hey, come on, you’re alright, you’re fine. You’re not too badly hurt, you had a lucky escape, just a few scratches and burns.” The medic told him softly, smiling boyishly.

“That was my house.” Harry sniffed.

All at once the medic stiffened and called over his partner, having a whispered conversation with her, before he came back to Harry and smoothed his hair from his face.

“The police will need to speak to you, but you’re going to be just fine.”

The medic left him to see if there were any more injured people and Harry wanted a familiar face, he got up on wobbly legs, trying to brush some of the black soot and dirt from him as he weaved his way, almost drunkenly, to the Avengers.

They were demanding answers that the police didn’t have, ranting and raving, though Tony’s voice could be heard the most, Steve’s was a close second. It was actually Clint who turned and saw him first and he didn’t make any sound or gasp as Harry blinked and was then suddenly in the man’s arms being squeezed tightly, he didn’t make a murmur about the pain on his fresh cuts, grazes and burns. He didn’t say anything as he wound his arms around Clint’s neck and held on.

“You move fast.” Harry garbled out stupidly when he could unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

Clint said nothing as he held Harry tighter.

“I’m okay. The medic said I was okay, just cuts and burns from being too close to the explosion.”

“Never do this again.” Clint’s voice was strangled and harsh, he sounded close to tears himself and two fresh tears joined the tracks already on Harry’s cheeks and down his neck, cutting a pathway through the soot, blood and dirt.

“I do try not to get blown up every day. This was a one off.” Harry sniffed as he wrapped his aching arms around Clint more firmly and held on tighter.

Clint moved Harry’s body to sit his legs more comfortably around his waist and moved him onto just his one arm as the other came around to cup his face gently, his thumb rubbing away the tear tracks on the one half of his face. The look on his face hurt Harry’s heart and he couldn’t believe he had ever thought ill of this man before him. Almost getting blown up really did put things into perspective.

“I’m sorry.” Harry said seriously, even as another wave of tears started, it seemed his hormones wouldn’t let something like this slide and he was having his tearful breakdown after all.

“Don’t be, just…just don’t do it again.” Clint murmured as he tucked Harry’s head under his chin.

“Clint, what are you doing?” Steve’s voice cut through their moment and Harry popped his head over Clint’s big, broad shoulder.

“Hi Steve.” He said softly, looking at the Captain and the rest of the Avengers, Phil was there and Fury too.

“Agent Potter, it seems you had a close call.” Fury said as he walked closer, looking at him through his one good eye.

“Very close. Too close.”

“What happened?”

“I was just about to leave and go back to the Tower, the hair on my neck prickled and I turned to see a man aiming a gun at me. I ducked on automatic and I don’t know what made me do it Sir, but I went upstairs, I remembered I put my phone in my satchel, which was in the living room, but I went to the house phone upstairs. The entire upper level was C4 wired together in blocks. I was in a house filled with C4 for three hours and I didn’t notice.”

“How did you get out?”

“I knew the man outside would detonate, I jumped the entire staircase and almost ripped the front door off its hinges to get out. I made it to the neighbour’s garden when the house blew.”

“Are you injured?”

Harry shook his head. “The medic said I had a lucky escape, just scrapes and a few burns. Probably, mostly shock.” He added as he realised he was shaking. “Not sure about the baby, that jump down the stairs couldn’t have done any good.”

“We’ll get you and the baby checked out as soon as we get you back to S.H.I.E.L.D, now do you remember anything about the man that shot at you?”

“He wasn’t dressed like an assassin. He was dressed to blend in, he was wearing a pale green shirt and greyish jeans; he had pale, very short, reddish blond hair, blue eyes and an ugly mouth. I could probably draw him if you’d like.”

Fury gave him a short nod.

“You remember all that from a quick glimpse?”

Harry nodded. “I’m not likely to forget the face of the man who shot at me and almost blew me to pieces. I’m good, but under pressure I’m better.”

“Why were you even here?”

“I wanted some of my stuff. I run out of clean clothes and I wanted my favourite blanket and the picture of…” Harry stopped as he realised that picture was gone. Demolished like everything else. Another wave of misery hit him with fresh tears. “It doesn’t matter now, it’s all gone. Nearly everything I own was in that house and now I have nothing.”

“It’s just materialistic things.” Natasha told him, trying to do it softly and comfortingly, but it hit Harry like a brick.

“My parents are dead, my family and friends are all dead, the only things I have to remember them by were in that house, all the photos, my parents wedding rings, most of my photo albums, my Mother’s journal, my Godfather’s motorbike and leather jacket, it might be silly, materialistic things to you but to me they were sentimental, I can’t even replace them because they just won’t mean the same!”

Clint squeezed him tightly and pressed his cheek against the side of his face as Harry tried to control the urge to bawl his eyes out as the realisation hit him that he had lost almost everything that meant something to him.
He’d never get back the same rings his parents had worn on their fingers, the motorbike that Sirius had ridden and the jacket he had worn, the books that Hermione had thumbed through, they had touched those things, had loved them and now he had lost that connection to them through those things.

“I don’t want to be awake.” He said softly.

“What was that?” Steve asked him, stepping closer.

Before Harry could say anything, the medic was back, looking frantic.

“There you are, you shouldn’t be walking in your state, you’ve had a huge shock.”

“I don’t want to be awake.” Harry told the medic.

“You want me to put you to sleep?”

Harry nodded.

“It’s too dangerous with the shock you’re in.”

“Isn’t there anything weaker?” Clint asked sharply.

“Nothing I would feel safe using on him in his state.”

“I can’t be awake; I can’t take this on top of everything else. I can’t deal with it right now.”

“You’re a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, deal with it.” Was Fury’s advice and Harry did as the Director ordered and sucked in a breath and tried to detach his mind from what had happened. Like he had done when he was being tortured, but then he had started seeing people who weren’t there, talking to hallucinations and hearing them speak back, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but he was completely wrung out, he just wanted to sleep, was that so bad?

Clint wouldn’t let go of him and when the police had tried to speak to him, Tony had almost bitten their heads off with his usual dry witted, sarcastic manner.

Coulson intervened and updated the police on what Harry had told them, they didn’t like not speaking to Harry personally, but under the might that was Phil Coulson, they let it stand and took Phil’s story as Harry’s own, but of course he had lied to the Avengers, Coulson and Fury, so the police had a false report anyway, he wasn’t about to tell anyone that he had vanished from the upstairs landing and a second later he appeared in the neighbour’s garden just as the house blew up. He wasn’t that stupid, no matter what state he was in. If he hadn’t Apparated, then he wouldn’t have made it halfway down the stairs before being caught in the explosion.

He was taken to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters first and he was checked out by the same doctor that had performed his first scan, but when he had tried doing anything inappropriate Steve had almost broken his wrist in anger, it would at the least be very badly bruised and as an older man, it wouldn’t heal quickly. Harry was almost perversely pleased about that.

The baby was fine and Harry breathed easier that he hadn’t killed or harmed the baby in any way that he could see or the scan could pick up on. He’d check his books from St Fiacre’s when he got back to the Tower to make sure no repercussions showed up in the pregnancy or with the baby due to his quick Apparation.

Clint still refused to let him go, which Harry didn’t mind as he was very tired and drained at the moment, he would have taken anyone carrying him at the moment, but he’d much prefer to just be put down and allowed to sleep where he lay even if it was in a gutter.

They made it back to the Tower and Harry was settled on the settee, a blanket thrown over him and tucked in as he sunk bonelessly into it, ignoring the hands touching his face, from the callouses on every single finger it could only be Clint. Tony didn’t have a callous on either of his fourth or fifth fingers and he was the only one who had near enough the same sized hands as Clint, Steve and Thor’s were much bigger and Bruce’s were smaller.

“Let me sleep Clint.” Harry murmured softly, lifting his arm half-heartedly to brush him away.

“Sorry.” The man sighed and sat back away from him.

“‘S okay, just want to sleep.”

“Sleep then, you need some rest.”

Harry couldn’t reply, he couldn’t do anything other than lie there as he drifted to sleep, his mind and emotions going into overdrive and knocking him out. He stayed there sleeping for several hours.

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A/N: So it is international happiness day, so I’m trying to make my readers happy with another update and maybe an update for Rise of the Drackens on the way too. Make me happy in return with reviews, or write me a Harry Potter/Avengers one-shot. One of the two, or you know, both because I’m updating twice ;)

There were no questions I don’t think, not that I’ve seen anyway, but maybe that’s because the chapter’s only been up for twenty-four hours, but I’m not complaining at all, I hope you’ve all enjoyed this.

StarLight Massacre. X
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Damaged Bodies, Growing Lives, Building Families