Know Your Neighbours

Having the chance to unwind from being willingly kidnapped and saved by his father and Logan, Remy felt he wasn't safe from his memories of Alex and how he had lost a good lover. Overwhelming him from all angles made it difficult for him to even set foot on the front step, let alone inside his own house.

Breaking down into tears at the site of Alex's face in a picture in his wallet, his only saving grace was in the form of Logan and his house across the street. He slept on Logan's bed that night and most of the next day, waking only when Logan came home to check on him and see if he needed anything. "Non." Was the only reply he gave each time he was asked. He rolled away from the door and stared out the window, drowsily watching for something or someone he recognised.

Logan sat down behind him and placed a hand on his arm, he sighed and tried to think of something to say. "Look, uh, the last time I tried to comfort someone after a loved one died, she gave me a headache that would level a city. You can stay here as long as you want but, sooner or later, yer gonna have to move on and get back to who you are." Patting Remy's arm, he watched the young man move as if underwater. He stood up and was about to leave but took a moment to watch Remy.

Remy blinked slowly and nodded as he continued to stare out the window, at the backyard. His voice hurt from screaming and crying, his head pounded the noise of the scene and then the loss of his love. Jean-Luc had offered him a place to stay at his house but he wouldn't have been able to sleep as his bedroom had been the first place he and Alex made love. He needed to be in a place where the boy hadn't been, and Logan's seemed to fit. It was quiet at Logan's..... drowningly quiet. "Where's de kids?"

Half-hearing the question, Logan turned back to look at Remy. "They're in school. It's about lunchtime, I just figured I'd come check on ya."

Pushing himself to sit up and shifting to face Logan, Remy looked out of place. "De girl s'okay?"

"Steph? Yea, she's fine. She's a little concerned about you but, another school day."

Remy looked away. "Oh."

Sitting back down on the bed, Logan sighed inwardly. "Did you want me to bring ya anythin' from yer house? I could set'cha up in a hot bath while I run over and get a few things. You can camp out here for a week or so, and the kids'll be quiet."

Shaking his head, Remy sighed. "Non. Jus' gonna be harder t' leave t'morrow. Have ta clear out his stuff from my house an' his apartment."

Logan nodded. "Whenever yer ready."

Remy grabbed Logan's arm and drew a ragged breath as he really hadn't wanted to ask. "I'll go, if you come wit' me?" Biting his lip and hoping Logan would say yes, he blinked at the older man and swallowed.

"Okay."

Sliding off of the bed, Remy headed for Logan's bathroom to splash some water on his face before they left. Rinsing his mouth out, Remy glanced up into the mirror and saw Logan standing at the door, watching him and waiting.

"I-uh- brought yer car back. It's sittin in the driveway." Logan pushed off the door as Remy dried his face and turned to face him.

Remy smiled. "Merci." He was unsure about going home but really had no intention of getting in Logan's way anymore than he already had.

Logan led the way into the livingroom, as his bedroom was across from his office, but stopped at the front door when he felt a tug on his sleeve. "You okay?"

Remy nodded, he was having second thoughts but only he seemed to hear them voiced. "Okay." Waiting for Logan to open the door, he led the way over to his doorstep. His hands shook as he placed the key to the lock.

Logan stood behind him and pushed the key in, helping him unlock the door. Turning the knob and pushing the door open, he rubbed his hands over Remy's forearms. "Take yer time, kid."

Standing in the doorway for well over a few minutes, he finally took a daring step forward. He held his breath and took another step into the house until he reached the kitchen counter. He sat on the first stool and sighed. "Can still smell his aftershave." A moment of silence had passed and Remy hadn't bothered to look at Logan. "Think I'll sleep down here, t'night. Too many ghosts upstairs." Nodding as if agreeing with himself, Remy finally glanced over at the older man. He smiled faintly but let it fade as he continued. "Ghosts down here, too. First night I moved in, we made love on de counter. An' when I came home from de hospital, I slept on de sofa while he sleep on de floor. Tol' him ta go home but, he stayed all night."

Nodding and listening, Logan stood there silent. He wasn't sure as to why Remy trusted him enough to hear the personal details but, he wasn't about to close his ears to a friend. "You want me to go up and get some stuff for ya, or do you think you can make it? Fix ya some lunch? A drink?"

Remy shook his head and pushed himself up off the stool. "I can make it."

Logan checked his watch but tried not to seem impatient.

Remy stood on the first stair and turned to look at Logan. "Ya can go back ta work, Logan. I'll be okay." He smiled softly.

"No, but if I could use the phone a minute..... I'll let Carl know I'll be a bit late." Smiling back, Logan wasn't about to leave Remy quite yet.

"Mais oui. De cordless is by de sofa." Pointing to where the phone was, Remy waited for Logan to make to call before taking another step upstairs.

When the call ended, Logan placed the phone back on the charger and turned to see Remy hadn't moved from the step. "You okay?" Taking a step forward, he asked.

Remy nodded and smiled. "Can talk to poppa 'bout you helpin' me. Mebbe he give you a raise, non?"

Logan wasn't about to say no but, he didn't really feel right accepting it for only keeping an eye on Remy. He smiled and nodded his thanks as they went upstairs. "You uh, got stuff over at his place?" Asking as they made it to the top and hesitated before going into the bedroom.

"Non, his parents disowned him when he told dem who he was datin'. Don' know what I'm gonna do wit' his stuff but,...." His voice trailed off as he stared into the room and pictured Alex lying on the bed, after they had just made love, and smiling at him. A shiver rolled down his back as he turned away to look at Logan.

Taking a deep breath, Logan inhaled a scent of fear and displacement. "Tell ya what, why don't you just tell me what's his, and I'll pack it up for ya. That way you won't have to deal with his stuff just yet."

"Kay."

Logan listened for a moment, the mailman had stopped at Remy's box and deposited the mail. Both looking to the downstairs window, Logan offered to go bring it in for Remy. "You wanna try walking to the mailbox?"

Remy shook his head.

"Want me to go?"

Nodding and then grabbing Logan's arm as if something might happen to him along the way.

Logan patted his hand. "It's okay. I'll be right back, promise."

"Okay." Releasing Logan, Remy watched him go downstairs and out the front door, only to return moments later with the mail. He noticed Logan's expression as he stared at the name on the first letter. "What's it say?" He asked as Logan came back up the stairs and stopped in front of him.

Logan sighed and looked from the envelope to Remy. "It's a letter addressed to you and Al--" He wasn't allowed to finish as Remy's hand flew to his mouth.

"Don'.... please, don' say his name." Removing his hand, he pleaded with Logan with his eyes and refused to take the letter. "T'row it away. Don' want it." He turned away and then back again. "Second t'ought..... I'll keep it." Taking it from Logan and holding it tightly in his hands.

Logan nodded. "Okay." He jumped as his beeper went off. "Oh, I gotta get back, sounds like an emergency. I'll uh- check on ya in a few hours, okay? You'll be all right 'til then?"

Remy nodded and stared at the envelope.

"Try and eat somethin, okay? Don't think about it too much; it ain't good for ya to work yerself up." Patting Remy's upper left arm, he told him good-bye and headed back down the stairs.

As Logan left, Remy looked up from the envelope and found himself alone. "Try not to t'ink about it too much." He repeated in a whisper. "Hm, what else am I s'posed ta do?" Sitting down on the first step, Remy drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them and waited.

~~~~

The hours had passed and Logan came and went, Remy found himself sitting on the floor of the livingroom, watching cartoons. As the theme song of the next cartoon ended, the cordless rang. After having it next to him most of the afternoon, Remy picked it up and answered it. "Oui?"

"Remy, s' poppa. You alright, mon fils?"

Eyes never leaving the screen, Remy answered. "Yea. Logan's been and gone, took a bat', ate some popcorn."

Jean-Luc exited the elevator and headed for his car. "You wanna come spend de night at home?"

A sullen reply. "No." Remy laid down on the carpet and continued to watch the cartoon while talking to his father. "Poppa, would ya come here..... please?"

Jean-Luc stopped fiddling with his keys and stood in front of the car door. He took a deep breath and listened to how Remy asked. Remy was asking to spend time with him, after all the harsh words in the past. "Oui, I'll be dere in 15 minutes."

"Okay." They said their good-byes and hung up. Remy was beginning to feel uncomfortably cold and the quiet was getting on his nerves quite easily. He lay there in the dark with only the light of the television to brighten the room.

Jean-Luc had been right, on the 16th minute, he placed Remy's spare key in the door, knocked and announced himself as he opened it and entered the dark house. "Remy?" It had taken Jean-Luc a good minute and a half for his eyes to adjust as he searched the two rooms before finding Remy on the floor, in front of the television. Closing the door and locking it, he came to bend over his son and gently touch his shoulder. "Remy, c'est poppa."

Remy turned his head to look up at his father, and smiled faintly. As Jean-Luc stood up, Remy pushed himself to his feet and turned to hug him tightly. Clearing his throat, Remy pushed away and headed for the kitchen. "Ya eat yet? Could make ya somet'in' or order a pizza?" He felt a little lost, like he had to do something for someone, anyone but himself.

"Pizza's fine. Come sit down, I'll call." Jean-Luc waved Remy back to the livingroom, and made the call to the pizza place. He ordered Remy's favourite and a side of breadsticks.

Within 30 minutes, the pizza had been delivered and the two sat down on the floor of the livingroom and shared the pizza. Remy had poured some iced tea and brought the pitcher over for them to wash down the food. They sat there, watching cartoons and eating pizza, Jean-Luc had talked Remy into turning at least one light on to the lowest setting and dined in silence.

"De funeral is Sunday. Was t'inkin' about goin." Remy said as he had finished his slice of pizza and set the plate down in front of him.

Jean-Luc swallowed and nodded. "You sure?"

"I owe him, poppa." Hanging his head, Remy felt a little guilty.

Leaning over, Jean-Luc placed his hand on Remy's shoulder and spoke reassuringly. "It wasn't your fault, cher."

Remy nodded. "I know. But, coulda done somethin, poppa."

Jean-Luc thought for a minute and stared at the cartoon before speaking again. "You know, when you an' Henri were little, evr't'ing had ta be just so. You two would fight like wolverines over a simple thing, but if anyone else got in de way, one would always back up de other."

"Meaning?"

Turning from the television to Remy, Jean-Luc finished. "Meaning he saved you from Scott, den he tried to save Scott from himself."

Remy looked to the floor. "Den Logan killed him."

"He was only protecting you. He had no idea de boy would sneak up behind him."

Sighing, Remy shrugged.

~~~~

Remy lie on his bed, facing his father that sat on the floor, to his left. Jean-Luc had tucked him in under the covers and made sure he was warm enough as he was only in his boxers and a T-shirt. "Didn' think it'd be like dis. Always figured, I'd go first.... den whoever follow me. But, I promised dat I'd take care of him, poppa." He sniffled and wiped a hand at his nose.

It was dark in the room but light enough for Jean-Luc to stare at his son's face and move a lock of hair from his right cheek to behind his ear. "S' never like what you think. I had hoped your momma would outlive me."

Huddling down deeper into his bedding, Remy shivered. "I tol' him goodbye, de day before. I jus' couldn' handle it anymore. He needed me 24-7 so, I couldn't be who I was. So, we made love an', I tol' him goodbye." He refused to cry in front of his father, or anyone else so, he closed his eyes and counted in French to 10.

Jean-Luc took a long, deep breath while his eyes were closed and opened them to asked what he had been wanting to ask for several years. "Why a boy, Remy? What's wrong with a belle?"

"Poppa, I know ya wanted a weddin', an' gran'kids but not gonna change ta be somethin I'm not. He wasn't a fille, I know. But, you never approved of who I dated anyway. Never cared ta date a girl..... de t'ought of bein' taget'er made me sick." Remy sniffled again and cleared his throat.

Throughout the whole evening, Jean-Luc had only listened to Remy say "he" and "him", not the name. He remembered that he did the same thing when his wife died, which made it hard to remember her name, now. "Who is 'he', Remy? What was 'his' name?" He could see the far away look in Remy's eyes as Remy tried to figure out what he was asking.

Remy sat up. "You know who, poppa." He wasn't sure as to why Jean-Luc cared to hear Alex's name but, when he tried to say it, it came out as "he" and "him".

Jean-Luc raised himself up to sit on the side of the bed. "Who, Remy?" Placing his hands on thin arms. "He had a name, what was it?" His voice raised a bit as he gave Remy a small shake.

"You know who! H-H-Him!"

"Don't do dis, Remy. I did de same thing when your mother died, now I can't remember her name!" Jean-Luc shook him harder and ground his teeth, insistant that his son didn't forget who he loved and held as he died. "What was his name?!"

Remy was becoming angry, and tired. He didn't want to scream at his father but it just happened that way. "Her name was Michelle! Her name was Michelle an'..... he.... his name is...." he took a breath. "was.... Alex! ALEX!" He couldn't hold it back any longer, the tears flooded his eyes and dripped in steady streams down his cheeks. Pressing against his father, Remy hugged him tightly, needingly.

Jean-Luc wrapped his arms around him and held him, taking the screaming, crying, struggling, and hugging Remy had let out. "I know. Shh shh... I know. Jus' cry, mon fils. Jus' cry all you want."

It was sometime later that Remy finally cried himself into exhaustion. He held onto Jean-Luc's shirt and took a deep breath before opening his eyes and laying back down. He smiled faintly to let his father know he was alright, as Jean-Luc stood up to go. "Poppa, would you stay wit' me....? Here, 'til I fall asleep? Don' wanna be alone."

Sighing and nodding, Jean-Luc smiled back and walked around to the other side of the bed to lay ontop of the covers and whisper a lullaby to help Remy sleep.

~~~~

The day of the funeral, Remy stood there in his black suit and matching shirt. The black shades hid the sadness and glare of the sun. His hands fisted in his pants pockets as the priest gave the sermon. He was mainly still in shock, with the only hint of comfort being the thought of "feeling" Alex's arms around him, holding him. Deep breaths were all that held him up as his legs had started to shake. Remy stared at the casket for most of the time, and when he did look up, he saw Alex's parents seated across from him.

When the priest was finished, Remy was fully shaking. A deep breath and a slow stride over to where they now stood, he had to tell them he was sorry. Forcing a small smile, Remy inhaled and spoke softly. "Monsieur et madame Summers, I'm very s-" He had started to say but was slapped hard on the left cheek by Mrs. Summers.

"I know who you are and what you want. You killed my baby. First, you took him away, then you twist his mind against us. Now, he's dead because of you. How dare you stand there and say you're sorry." Mrs. Summers cried as she stood there and shook herself out of her husband's grasp.

Remy flinched as she spat on his shirt and walked away.Hanging his head and sighing, he walked back to the limo his father had for him and climbed into the backseat. His cheek was numb from the slap and his eyes threatened tears. "Home, Cameron." He had to yell as his voice wasn't willing to speak up voluntarily.

When the limo dropped him off and he was inside and alone in the house, he locked the door and fell to his knees in tears. "Wasn't my fault!" He cried, half-hoarsely.

~~~~

Weeks went by and Remy had stayed away from everyone, outside of work. Inside, he kept the blinds pulled and focused solely on his work.

Logan had kept a steady eye on him but grew more and more concerned each day. As he was leaving one night, he noticed Remy's light on from the floor camera. As he made his final rounds before letting the next shift take over, he decided to pay Remy a visit. Knocking on the office door, he listened for Remy to answer.

"Come in, Logan." Remy sighed but didn't look up from his reports.

Logan opened the door and peered in. "Hey kid, how ya been?"

Remy put down the pen, looked up at Logan and sighed. "Still alive. You?"

Stepping in and closing the door, Logan smiled. "That's good. I'm okay. Haven't seen ya in a while so, we figured you'd come out on yer own."

Remy smiled.

"Anyway, I'm about to go home for the night. Was wonderin' if I could get ya somethin'?" He had noticed that for the past three months, Remy seemed to eat like a bird, and his clothes had gotten a little big on him.

Remy shook his head. "Non, t'anks Logan. Just gonna finish some paperwork, den go home."

Logan backed up and opened the door. "Okay. I'm still across the street, iffin' ya want to talk."

Nodding and smiling appreciatively, Remy thanked him and said good night. He waited for the bell of the lift before he started writing again. Writing a few lines before losing his train of thought, he stood up and decided it could wait til morning.

~~~~

He missed the next week due to not feeling well, and pretty much stayed in bed until the last day. Remy was tired of sleeping and watching television as well as working from home so, he dressed, made himself a glass of iced tea and sat on his front step to wait for the mailman. Sitting there in gray sweatpants, untied sneakers, and a black Rock T-shirt, Remy stared at the Envoy in Logan's driveway. It was only 10 in the morning and Remy thought he had missed a day as he didn't think it was Logan's day off.

Sitting with his knees up and arms draped over his knees, Remy reached up and slid the shades down to look over them. "S' Friday, right? Didn' t'ink Logan had de day off, less poppa fired him....?" He mumbled mainly to himself but spoke outloud.

Twenty-two minutes later the mailman made his rounds but Remy sat there until Logan came out to get his mail. They waved to each other and Remy stood to go and get his mail from the box.

Logan walked over to meet him at the box and talk a minute. "Feelin' any better? Yer dad said yer chest was playin tricks on ya, again."

"Oui. Just needed to rest; overworked."

Logan nodded in understanding.

"What ya doin home?"

"Have to work tonight, Tom's takin the weekend in the mountains."

"Oh." Remy nodded. "Ya need someone to watch de kids?" He had felt bad that he had stayed away from Matthew and Stephanie and decided to try and make up for lost times.

Logan squinted at the brightness of the sun. "I was gonna have Sara, next door, look after them. I figured, if you didn't feel well, I wasn't gonna set my monsters loose on ya."

"Oh. Okay." Clearing his throat, Remy was at a loss for words. "Can I come by an' see dem tomorrow?"

"Sure. I'm sure they'll talk both yer ears off at once."

Remy smiled, they at least haven't forgotten about him. A minute of silence passed before Remy's wristwatch beeped at him, reminding him to take his pills. "Oh. Uh, my pills. You want to come inside, made some iced tea....?" Looking hopeful, he was tired of being alone in the house.

Sensing Remy's need for company, he smiled. "Okay, for a few minutes." He followed Remy into the house and took a look around. "On a cleanin kick, huh?" Noting that the inside was cleaner than how he kept his house.

Remy had busied himself with getting glasses and pouring the tea before grabbing his bottle of pills from the countre and taking two. "Hm? Uh, haven't slept well, lately. Washed my car and had scrambled eggs at t'ree dis mornin."

Accepting the glass Remy handed him, Logan smiled. "Eggs at three, huh?"

"Saw it in an old movie, once." Remy nodded and smiled.

Logan looked around the livingroom and noted that Remy had placed the letter, addressed to him and Alex, on the mantle of the fireplace as if it were a picture. "Did uh,... you manage to get everything cleared out of the apartment, or did you need some help?" He hated to ask and felt bad that he did when it was really none of his business.

Remy cringed and flinched at the envelope in the other room. "Oui. Poppa an' a few friends helped, a few days after de funeral. Have most of his stuff in storage, de rest..... his parents took an' sold." Pausing for a minute, Remy offered Logan a place to sit and talk. He followed Logan into the livingroom and sat a foot away from him on the sofa. He was nervous- which was a rarity for Remy- and found himself oblivious to words.

"Are you findin somethin to occupy yer time, other than work?"

"Non," Remy shook his head. "just work."

Logan inhaled and set his glass down on a stone coaster on the table beside the sofa. Turning to face Remy, he could see the weeks of little sleep and seclusion had taken their toll on the young man. "Look, uh, this may be outta place but, when Jean died, I felt the whole world cave in around me. My kids thought I'd surely join her if they didn't do somethin. So, they dragged me to movies, the park, fairs..... finally I realised that eventhough she's gone, there's still life beyond the pulled curtains." He bit his lip as he saw his words slowly getting through to Remy. "There's people out there for ya, kid. Don't be afraid to smile, again." He smiled as Remy turned to face him.

Nodding, Remy looked down at his hands that fidgeted. "I know. Poppa was de same way after momma died. Always t'ought dat women were so fragile so, Remy turned ta men. Found out dey're just as fragile. Tried to protect him but only got him killed." He looked up, into Logan's eyes and searched for some compassion. "Who's gonna take care of Remy?"

Sighing deeply, Logan thought of what to say next. He knew that he couldn't say anything to turn Remy off completely but, he wasn't able to find anything he could say to help him, either. Resting a thumb against Remy's pale cheek, he blinked and moved closer. "It's always a gamble with people but, those who really know you, will want to be with you,- just you."

Running his tongue along his lips out of nerves, Remy took the dare and moved closer to him before gently kissing Logan's lips and scooting closer still. His arms slid up and around the wide ribcage and held Logan close to him as the kiss deepened. He felt a feeling he had deprived himself of for the longest time; love.


End.