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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant	By : TheConstant1944 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Captain America Views: 2391 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel characters. They are solely owned by Marvel and MCU. No money is made from this story.

Chapter List
- 80
- 81
- 82
Chapter Eighty-One
Bucky Barnes Meets The Avengers

“Hmm so you're the one who Steve has got his knickers in a twist about.”
Tony Stark looks Bucky Barnes up and down and internally he is surprised at how he feels doing so. Looking at this man, this animal.
Steve tuts in the background. Bucky hesitantly puts his hand out in greeting and Tony takes it, holding it for a moment too long because he yearns to pull the man close, wants to whisper into his ear: “You killed my parents and I'm going to make you pay. I'm going to make you suffer as they suffered.”
But he doesn't.
Yet still the hairs on the back of the Winter Soldier's neck tingle. He knows there is danger in this man, but he just doesn't know why.
“It's nice to meet you again, sir.” And Bucky can see from Steve's look of surprise that he has gotten something wrong.
“You two have met before?” Steve asks just as Tony says: “We've never met.” Bucky looks between them. Without realising it he brings up his right hand and massages his temple.
“I'm sorry, my memory isn't...what it used to be,” he says. “I thought...” And he stops, pain beginning to thrum in his head, images flashing past his eyes.
“You thought...?” Tony queries and Bucky shakes his head.
“I thought your name was Howard,” he mumbles, trying to smile.
It costs Tony a lot to return that smile. More than Bucky will ever know. “That was my father...you knew him. He knew all the Howling Commandos, and of course Captain Saviour here as well.” Steve raises his hand as if to remonstrate and Tony sighs. “I know, I know kid gloves. Look, watch me put them on.” Tony mimes putting a pair of gloves on with exaggerated movements. It makes no sense to Bucky and he turns to look at Steve who is frowning.
Jarvis interrupts with a “Sir...”. He may be a rather intelligent electronic device, but there is more to him than algorithms. He knows his master well: the nuances, his moods. Knows the danger he is to himself. Best sometimes to nip something in the bud.
It is quiet for a moment as Tony studies Bucky, nothing shows on his face.
“Sir?”
“Yes Jarvis?” Tony turns, as though addressing a real person.
“Shall I show Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes to their quarters?”
“Good idea. Although I'm sure Steve knows his way by now - we've put you side by side as promised.” And he smiles at Steve.
“Thank you,” Steve says, and Tony can see that he means it. Steve indicates to Bucky he will show him the way, Bucky nods to Tony and they walk away.
“I was a Sergeant? How come you got to be a Captain?” he hears Bucky query as they leave.
Goddammit. Tony had not been expecting that. He was not expecting to like the man. He can see the damage in his eyes, and Tony recognises damage when he sees it; he has seen it enough times in his own eyes in the mirror.
*
Bucky places his backpack on the bed and looks around. He has never seen such luxurious quarters. The room is huge. The bed isn't just a double, it's a...whatever the next size up is. There is a en-suite bathroom, complete with shower and bath, and even a bidet. Whatever that is. That is what Jarvis had called it – Steve had coloured slightly and said he would explain later what it was for.
In the main room there is a large picture window. The view is amazing and he feels he can look out over the entire New York landscape. The wardrobes are fitted units that open and close so quietly he finds himself looking to see how they are fixed. There is an area with a desk, chair and a laptop and full access to the internet. There is a television with a DVD player and cable, and a separate music centre. Jarvis tells him where the library is situated, and explains that it contains a large selection of both books, music and films. There are two telephones. One for making calls, the other for calling room service (Bucky looks at Steve, who raises his eyebrows). Jarvis also relays details of the cleaning services.
“If that will be all, sir?” Jarvis asks and Steve as polite as ever responds.
“Um, yes. Thanks, Jarvis.”
When they are on their own Bucky points to the ceiling “Why do I think I know that voice?” he asks, and Steve smiles.
“Howard's man servant. Tony kinda kept him on once he died.” Bucky frowns. Steve continues: “So do you want to settle in and I'll come back for you a bit later? You know, show you around the place, introduce you to some friends?”
In all honesty it has all overwhelmed Bucky, and Steve can see it in his friend's face. He can see the exhaustion in his eyes; he may be full of serum but the last few weeks and injuries have taken away a lot of his strength. The headaches affect his ability to think clearly. He looks lost, and when Steve mentions other people there is panic in his eyes.
“Or, we can have a quiet evening, something to eat, and then I can show you around tomorrow?” and Bucky nods and tries to smile again. Steve comes up to him, reaches out and tucks Bucky's hair back.
“Your head bad?” he asks and Bucky nods.
Steve walks over to the bedside table and pours a glass of water from the jug there whilst Bucky rummages in his backpack. He upends it onto the bed and searches for some tablets. He takes them. “I just need to...” and he points to the bathroom and Steve nods.
Whilst Bucky is using the facilities, Steve wanders over to the bed. He sees the notebook with the leaflet sticking out of it and without thinking picks it up to look at. It is a small black book with an elastic band around it, he takes that off meaning just to look at the leaflet which he recognises as coming from The Smithsonian. The notebook opens and he sees unfamiliar writing on the pages, but as he turns to the back he sees something else. Looking at the bathroom and knowing Bucky is going to be a few more minutes he turns to what he has seen and gasps.
(Authors note: To see notebook please use: http://i.imgur.com/aDx8akj.jpg )
It is Bucky's handwriting, across two pages and done in pen and pencil but in places it has been scored so hard it has almost gone through the pages.
.He quickly flicks through more pages at the back and he sees more of the same. In some places the pages have been torn. He can see or feel, he doesn't know which, the torment and hatred that has been conveyed through the words. Through their imprint on the paper.
It is the saddest thing Steve thinks he has ever seen. He can see the emotions of the person who wrote it and he knows it is both Bucky and the Soldier responsible. He closes his eyes for a moment but then hears the toilet flush. Quickly he puts the band back on and puts the notebook down and when Bucky comes back out Steve is stood looking out of the window.
Bucky goes over and stands by him and neither speak for a moment. Steve reaches out and draws Bucky to him.
“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” he asks quietly. Bucky is quiet for a while and then when he does speak his voice is choked.
“I want you to stay with me every night.”
He doesn't know if he can cope with this, with life.
Steve smiles.
“That won't be a problem,” he says.
*
Steve snores. Bucky had forgotten just how much. The clock on the bedside table says it is 2.43 in the morning. All is dark and quiet except for the snores of Captain America. Bucky is lying listening to them. He remembers how it used to annoy the hell out of him, but at the moment he is just glad for the noise showing him he isn't alone. That he is back with Steve at his side.
It is so quiet in the Tower, the size of which still stuns him. Steve is going to show him around tomorrow, going to introduce him to some of the others and Bucky does not want to be introduced. He trusts Steve with his life but he doesn't know the others. They will hate him. He knows they will. What if one of them is Hydra? What if...?
And what are you going to do? Hide away for the rest of your life? The Winter Soldier sneers. Get Steve to look after you, wipe your nose...you make me sick.
Better that than being you, Bucky counters and surprisingly the Soldier is quiet.
He gets up uses the bathroom and then slides back into bed. Steve murmurs something, turns over, and the snoring stops. Bucky finally falls asleep.
He is in a corridor. A long grey space with dirty lighting and the red monster on the wall he knows so well. He is the Winter Soldier. As he walks he can hear his footsteps ringing on the concrete floor. Up ahead is a gate. The guards are standing around someone on their knees who is trying to press themselves into the wall to escape. They ignore him as he walks up and he realises they cannot see him. The man on the ground has their full attention. One guard hangs back, the look on his face is one of pity. The other two guards have their batons out. As he draws nearer he realises who it is on the ground.
It is him. Him when he was Bucky.
He watches as the guards shock him with the batons and he hears himself cry out. His skin twitches as he remembers the feel of those sticks. The material of the dirty hospital gown he has on burns and then he can smell burning skin, his own flesh. There is only part of his left arm left; the stub is covered in filthy bandages, parts of which are trailing down. The guards are jeering at him in Russian and the third guard finally steps forward and remonstrates with them. Bucky reaches out begging the guard to help him but then he sees he is wrong; Bucky is reaching out to him begging him to get him out of there, begging for him to let him die. The Winter Soldier makes to step back but then his eyesight starts to blur and he rubs his eyes.
The view has changed and he is the one on the floor looking up at the Winter Soldier. The Soldier steps forward as the guards look on. There are only two of them now. The Soldier crouches down and Bucky draws back at the utter look of hate and contempt on his face.
“You don't deserve help...” And the Soldier reaches out with his metal hand and starts to crush Bucky's throat.
“Please...” Bucky tries to say and the Soldier laughs.
“Please what? Just what do you think I am going to do for you? You deserve nothing, you're filth, nothing more.” And he knows it is him speaking those words. He has spoken them before. He cannot breathe, the Soldier is killing him and then suddenly he lets go and Bucky's hands fly to his throat trying to take a deep breath.
“You think I'm going to make it that easy for you?”
The Winter Soldier stands. He seems to loom over Bucky, blocking all of the light. He then turns to the guards.
“Take this mess away and burn it!” he says, pure contempt in his voice, and the two guards come forward grinning death mask grins.
“No! No!” Bucky starts to scream but his throat feels as if it twice the size. He is finding it difficult to swallow.
They drag him up and he watches the Soldier stride off down the corridor. They pull him in the opposite direction and then before he can stop them they are crossing through the doorway into a large room which is dark except for an orange light in the middle and he can hear a roaring sound. He can feel the heat. They drag him towards the furnace, a gigantic metal creature straight out of hell.
“No! Don't burn me, please don't burn me!” He struggles to get away but the guards have a tight hold of him and they want their sport.
There is a huge open door to the furnace in front of him and he can feel the heat pouring out of it. He can feel his hair beginning to smoulder, the hospital gown is scorching. The bandages have fallen away from the stub and it is crawling with maggots. One of the guards grins with rotten teeth “You're already dead, son, those maggots are feeding on your worthless body.”
They pull him closer and he tries to fight, he can feel his skin crackle, it begins to melt and char and then they are throwing him in and he screams, screams as his hands scrabble on the hot coals trying to get back out as the flames lick at his body. The guards are closing the door locking him in. His body is beginning to burn, his gown and hair on fire.
And in the background of it the Winter Soldier's voice speaks, eerily calm. “She will never forgive you. And neither will I.”
“No!” He comes awake screaming the word and beating at the flames that are devouring him. Someone is trying to push him back in, trying to make him stay in the flames, and he hits out hard.
“Shit! Ow!” The person falls away from him and Bucky falls out of the bed onto the floor, scrabbling to get up.
“No, Bucky! Stop!” He recognises the voice, recognises panic in it and he looks backwards. He is no longer in the dark room, he can no longer hear the roar of the flames. He holds up his hands, one flesh unburnt and one metal. He turns them over and then back to the palms again, then feels his chest, he is not burnt. There is sweat pouring from him and his heart is thudding.
A light goes on and he sees Steve in pyjama bottoms, a huge red patch coming up on his cheek and scratch marks down the left side of his face. He comes forward, hands out, as Bucky looks around and then sinks to the floor with a groan.
Steve approaches as though he is trying to quieten a wild animal. He takes a deep breath and sits down slowly crossed legged by his friend.
“Is it over?” he asks. Bucky lies on his back with his right hand thrown over his face. His eyes are closed and Steve can see he is trying to catch his breath. He looks worn out.
There is silence between them for a moment and then Bucky takes his arm away, sits up slowly and nods.
The phone rings, making them both jump. Steve already knows he doesn't have to pick up the receiver to answer it.
“Is that you Jarvis?” he asks tiredly.
“Yes sir. I noticed a disturbance in Sergeant Barnes' quarters and I wondered if everything was all right?” The voice is gentle, sympathetic, but if there had been a real problem Steve is in no doubt someone would have been alerted and come hammering at the door.
Steve looks at Bucky as he replies: “Yes thank you, everything is okay.”
“Can I bring you anything?”
Steve looks again at Bucky “Do we need anything?” he queries, and Bucky shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair.
“No thank you.”
“Well goodnight then, sir.”
“Goodnight Jarvis.” Steve is less than a foot away from Bucky and he can see his hands are trembling but he is beginning to calm down, to get himself under control.
He looks at Steve and touches his face. “Sorry about the...” he says and tries to smile that Bucky smile, but it is tremulous as is his voice.
“I've had worse. Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asks and sees panic in Bucky's face until he quickly covers it.
Go on, tell him. See if he wants to hold you then when he finds out you murdered her, the voice in his head sneers. “No!...I mean no, thank you, just a nightmare,” and he moves to stand up and so does Steve. “I'll...” he coughs to clear his throat. “...I'll just have a quick shower, cool myself down and then come back to bed,” and he points as he says it to the bathroom.
Steve thinks of making a joke but when he sees the look in his friend's eyes he just nods. The time on the clock reads 4.17am.
Bucky grabs a clean pair of shorts and locks the door whilst he is there. He gets the water running and stands under the coolness of it, still remembering the feel of the flames on his body, it felt so real. With what he sees in his dreams he doesn't always know when they are memories or when they are nightmares, all of it seems so genuine. He scrubs his body clean, and whilst he does so he cries quietly. He is not crying for himself; he is crying because he felt such a fear when he was so close to the flames and he knows that is what she will have felt. Rumlow had said she was still alive and awake when they fed her to the fire. Oh dear God. How can I ever live with that?
“Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him. He can hold your hand for you while you cry. I'm sure he'll understand.”
“Fuck off,” he whispers.
“He'll understand. Stevie will understand, Don't you think so?” The voice is mocking.
“I said fuck off!” Bucky turns and puts the water off and dries himself. He puts on the clean shorts then, taking a deep breath, he exits the bathroom and climbs into the bed.
“Okay?” Steve asks and Bucky nods. He can see Steve doesn't believe him.
“Look...” Steve says and Bucky swallows. “...You're carrying so much of a burden, I...just want you to know I'm here to help you. If you want to talk...if you need to talk, please let me in.” And his eyes tell Bucky he loves him.
Bucky doesn't know what to say. Everything is still so raw, so confusing. He doesn't know what to answer, and so he doesn't. Steve smiles and Bucky knows he will not push things.
Steve puts the lights out and they settle back down.
Only Bucky doesn't. He lies there and in his mind he is trying to tell Steve about Freya, trying to tell him what happened to her and in every possible scenario Steve walks away. As more memories surface he finds out more and more of how he mistreated her, what the Winter Soldier did to her every time he was woken for a mission, he feels deep shame. He may be able to blame some of his crimes on programming, but even now he can feel that paranoid jealousy he used to feel about her and even now he can feel the pain of her not being here with him; of him never seeing her again, of never seeing her smile so shy like Steve's. Her beautiful long hair he used to love running through his fingers. And he remembers her fit of temper when he tried to teach her to drive. He clutches his fist so he doesn't make a sound, so that he doesn't cry.
Steve does not sleep either but he stays quiet and unmoving so that Bucky doesn't know he can't sleep.
*
It turns out to be early evening the next day before Bucky is finally introduced to the others.
First he sees Tony again with his fiancée, Pepper Potts. They are on their way out to dinner. She is polite, and tells him if he needs anything just to let her or Jarvis know. Their kindness he finds touching; after all, neither Tony or Pepper really know him.
Natasha, Sam, Steve and Bucky stay in for dinner. There is a huge kitchen-come-dining room they will eat in, and it is Sam and Steve who do the cooking. Steve has arranged for this deliberately; he wants Nat to get to know Bucky, to perhaps even like him. Whilst the two men busy themselves in the kitchen Bucky and Nat sit on two huge L-shaped sofas which face each other but it means they can still converse with the people in the kitchen if need be.
Sam is already in the kitchen, knife in hand cutting onions.
“This is Sam, awesome and literal wingman. Sam, Bucky,” Steve says, and Sam holds up the hand holding the knife.
“I'd shake hands, but you'd stink of onions for the rest of the night,” he says and Bucky is not sure if this man likes him. He doesn't think that he does. Thinks Sam is using the onions as an excuse not to have to touch him.
And then Steve introduces Bucky to Natasha Romanoff, calls her Nat. He shakes her hand, telling her it is nice to meet her. “You could at least recognise me,” she says and Bucky turns a querying look at Steve. He holds his hands up.
“No doubt she will tell you,” he says. He knows there are some truths he cannot protect Bucky from, some things he needs to find out for himself.
Bucky turns back to face the redhead. She does seem vaguely familiar as they sit opposite each other on the sofas.
“So, how are you finding things?” Nat asks. She is really not one for small talk despite being expertly trained for it, and she is finding that just sitting this close to Bucky is making her feel too hot, edgy. He may be Bucky Barnes but she knows what he is capable of, she knows who is hiding under his skin.
“Okay. It's all...different to what I'm used to...what did you mean by me recognising you?”
“I gave you the broken nose and black eyes last time we met,” she says bluntly, and Bucky nods slowly and can't help but run a finger down his nose, it still feels slightly sore and the thought of it makes his eyes water. But then he looks at Nat, really looks at her, and the smile fades from her face.
“Its more than that isn't it?” he says quietly. “We've met before haven't we?”
She studies him. Natasha is a very honest person with her friends. She is still not sure what Bucky Barnes is to her – friend or enemy? She would bet anything on the fact that Bucky doesn't even know what he is to himself.
It is Bucky who speaks next. “I need people to be honest with me. My head is so...” And he taps his temple. “Mixed up. Some things I see are memories with no context, no extra information, they're just pictures. I don't know yet what is real and what isn't but I do know I need to know the truth.”
Nat can understand exactly what it is Bucky is asking, and she nods.
“I grew up in the Red Room...” she says and sees the knowledge enter Bucky's eyes: he knows what the Red Room is, but he cannot place her there in his mind. “I was six when I first met you. You had been sent to kill one of my teachers and...”
“...You were the little girl in the garden...” Bucky murmurs. Nat sees the moment Bucky loses himself in the memory, watches as he works through it and the widening of his eyes tells her this isn't the Winter Soldier she is talking to. “I'm sorry,” he says finally.
She nods. “You told me not today. You let me live.”
“The Red Room. Not an easy place to grow up in,” he says, but he is saying more than that. Boiled down to the core, both Nat and Bucky were victims of the same type of people. They were both used, both had huge parts of their lives taken away from them, both trained to kill against their will.
“A few years ago now I was escorting an engineer out of Iran and they sent you after us.”
“And I never failed a mission,” Bucky says, smiling - but it is not a humorous smile.
“No you didn't.”
They are both quiet for a few seconds.
“Did I hurt you badly?” Bucky asks and at his words Nat feels an incredible liking for this man, in some strange way he reminds her of Steve.
“You've shot me twice and each time I lived,” she says. The she leans forward and looks at him. “I was terrified of you for a long time. Most of my life, actually. But you have to realise that I don't think you are that person any more. The Winter Soldier is a weapon put together like any other. Slowly bit by bit you are dismantling him and one day he won't exist. I intend to be around when that happens, when you're free of him at last.”
Bucky knows he can be truthful with her. “I don't know if that day will ever come. I don't know if I'm that strong.”
“It will. Because you have us now; you just have to let us in, let us help you. I wish I could tell you how much these people have helped me. I didn't ask them to, I didn't have anything to give them, they just...put me back together again when I didn't even know I was broken.” Nat is surprised at how choked her words make her feel.
“But the things I've done...”
“There are things we've all done,” she says and he knows she understands...but still that voice, that small voice in his mind that he has to clamp down on: What about Freya? Can they forgive that because I can't.
Before they can go any further a new voice joins the fray in the kitchen, one that makes Natasha's smile widen.
“Come on. May as well meet the Hawk,” she says to Bucky as he is introduced to another Avenger. “Clint Barton, meet Bucky Barnes.” As she says the name Clint's eyes narrow but he still holds out his hand and Bucky takes it.
“Did she say...Stucky Barnes?” Clint asks and it makes Bucky laugh when he didn't expect to.
Natasha smiles and in a loud voice says to Barnes. “He's a little deaf.” Then to Clint: “I said Bucky!”
*
The meal is a success.
Bucky was nervous. How does he eat around other people? He has to slow himself down, take note of what Steve does, listens to them talking without interrupting and Steve cannot help but notice this difference. The old Bucky was confident even when he didn't feel he could hold his own. This new one is watchful, worried. He knows Bucky is hungry, sees him looking at the food but doesn't reach out and help himself to any more, so Steve adds to Bucky's plate whenever he adds to his own. Clint notices and asks him to go halves on another chunk of bread. Somehow they cannot equate this quiet, placid man with what they have heard and seen of the Winter Soldier.
Sam though is different – both because of his experience with damaged veterans and with his own past history with the Soldier. He can see it. He remembers the Soldier from the freeway, he knows what he is capable of. He also knows the man sat opposite him is running on empty, he sees more than the others because he knows what to look for. He only has one question.
What will happen when this man breaks?
“So Cap, you've been around long enough now, what do you find is the biggest change in this modern world of ours?” Clint asks Steve and Steve pauses for a second.
“Well, we have better music,” Sam mutters and Steve laughs. It is a sound that makes Bucky look up and gaze at him, a sound Bucky hasn't heard in such a long time.
“That's a difficult one, Clint. The world is so...different now.” Steve says.
“Everything is so loud,” Bucky says without meaning to, and he flushes but Steve smiles encouragingly at him.
“He's right. Everything seems to...I don't know...shout, seems to be so loud, so bright, so in your face,” he confirms. “Technology as well, I think.”
Steve immediately wishes he could take back that word. One thing that had been noticeable at the table and everyone cannot help but look at Bucky when Steve mentions technology, is Bucky's arm. There are times when they can hear it move - not all the time just now and again especially when it is quiet.
“The elephant in the room.” It is actually Bucky who rescues Steve. He puts down his knife and holds his hand up, opens and closes the fingers.
“Does it hurt?” Sam asks.
“Sometimes. Especially in the shoulder where its attached to...the rest of me.”
“Can you...you know feel with it?” Nat was positive she was not going to ask the question on everyone's mind but she wants to know and it doesn't seem to bother him. He turns his hand around and opens it wide, then reaches out so she can touch it.
She hesitates just for a moment and then gently runs her fingers along the palm and he makes a noise. “Why does everyone try and tickle?” he asks, and it makes them smile.
”You can feel that though?” Nat asks again.
"Yes, yes I can. I can feel everything if not a little more than I could with my human hand.”
“Tony's going to have a field day. He'll love tinkering with it.” Clint says, grinning, knowing that the industrialist will want to know everything about it.
“Like his father then?” Bucky asks without thinking.
“I suppose you knew him? Knew Howard?” Nat says and Bucky nods.
Sam can see though that Bucky is tiring, too many personal questions too quickly. He intervenes. “It's a nice piece of engineering...but not as nice as my wings,” he says, getting up from the table and beginning to collect the plates.
Bucky looks at Steve and then at Clint “I thought you were the Hawk?” he says, and Clint laughs. “Yes I am. But the full name is Hawkeye.”
“...its a bow and arrow thing,” Nat interrupts but then Clint carries on “...but Sam is the Falcon, you know wings and things.”
Sam purses his lips. At this point that is enough; he does not want Bucky to remember he is the one he battled with on the Helicarrier, the one the Winter Soldier tore the wings off and then threw to his death. They will no doubt talk about it sometime, but now is not that time.
“Can that thing be immersed in soapy water?” he asks and Bucky nods.
“Good. You wash and Steve wipes and the rest of us get to sit down.”
*
It is late and they are thinking of heading their separate ways when Jarvis breaks in.
“My apologies for interrupting, but I feel there was something on the news you need to see. It was televised earlier and I have recorded it. I have advised Mr Stark and he has asked me to make sure you are watching it as well. He is on his way back and has already been in touch with his lawyers.” As he speaks, a large flat TV screen on the wall lights up.
The conversation lulls as they all move to look at the screen.
It is a breaking news report. A news announcer in a studio somewhere is giving out the details. Behind the news announcer a picture of Natasha appears on screen, then changes to show a computer screen with information running on it. The announcer is explaining that when Natasha released the Hydra files onto the internet, a large percentage were heavily encrypted. Slowly bit by bit things are starting to come to light.
“The following story was sent to us by an unknown party. There are scenes of violence in the report which may disturb some viewers.” The announcer is replaced by a reporter and scenes taken from what looks like old camera footage.
“Up until now it was believed the assassin known as the Winter Soldier was an anonymous Russian soldier, but the news we are getting through now tells us that he was in fact an American soldier. According to the file, his name is James Buchanan Barnes and he was known to be one of the Captain America's Howling Commandos. The report does not tell us why he defected, but some of the missions he carried out are given. Names have been removed to protect the innocent at this stage. It is believed that he has carried out these attacks over the period of the last seventy years due to a cryogenic process utilised by Hydra.
As we have said it is not known why he defected or if in fact he was a Russian sleeper agent but he is known to still be at large and the public are asked not to approach him. There are few pictures of Barnes past his service in the War, and those that exist are very grainy. His current presence is unknown but we would like to repeat that if you do know his location then please contact your local police or FBI. This man should not be approached as he must be assumed to be armed and considered dangerous.
Now back to the studio...”
During the report photographs of the assassination victims are shown including press reports and photographs released at the time. And some of those photographs are horrifying.
There then follows a report of what was known about the ex-Howling Commando. They sit there quietly, listen to every word until at the end Nat speaks. “I'm sorry.” Her voice is quiet and she is speaking directly to Bucky.
“I was told all of this was already out there. I didn't realise though they thought...I had defected,” he says.
Steve frowns and asks who told him.
“When I visited The Smithsonian I was talking to an old guy who is a guard there. He told me that people couldn't make up their minds if I was Russian or an American POW.”
Natasha is the one who answers. “No, up until now there have just been reports of a Russian assassin called the Winter Soldier, but nobody had mentioned that he might be American. Who was it that you say you spoke to? Maybe he's the guy who leaked it.”
Bucky shakes his head. “I doubt it, he didn't look a day under ninety. I don't think he would have been able to use a computer, yet alone do this. It's funny I wanted to ask some questions afterwards but I couldn't find him again. Lady at the reception desk told me there was no guard there fitting his description...well, not that was still alive anyways. Said there had been an old man who had worked there, Steve had rescued him when he was in the 107th, but that he had died recently.”
“Old guy called Stan?” Steve asks, and Bucky nods. “I met him too, so he can't have died two years ago. Nice guy, didn't tell me he was in the 107^th though, wish he had. She must have got it wrong because he looked fighting fit when I saw him!”
“Yeah, he said he had met you.” And they go quiet.
“Maybe he was into crystal balls or something. “Clint says. “Whatever it is, the shit's hit the fan now.”
“And it's all true isn't it?” Bucky says, looking at him. He then looks at all of them. “I have to go. I can't hide. I have to hand myself in. Those are my crimes and I am guilty.” He stands but it is Sam who jumps up and touches his arm to stop him from going anywhere.
“Whoa. Now hold on there a minute, you need to think this through,” and for a second he sees a flash of something in Bucky's eyes, sees Bucky's jaw tighten as if he is trying to control something or someone inside of him. There is suddenly a tension in the air that wasn't there a minute ago.
“Am I interrupting something?” A familiar voice says, and they all turn to see Tony walking into the room.
*
Bucky is alone when Sam comes up to him, holds out a small card which Bucky takes without thinking.
“Listen...” his voice is firm, “Steve means a lot to us so we will protect him...” Sam says and Bucky thinks he knows exactly what it is Sam is going to say: so why don't you just fuck off and let him lead his life, let him be happy?
But Sam surprises him. “He has vouched for you, and we know a little of your history together. You're going to find the next few years tough and if you ever think you can't do it then remember you're not alone...” He taps the card in Bucky's hand. “Call me, okay?” Bucky's eyes tear up and Sam smiles. “Just don't expect me to get all mushy.”
*
Later, much later, Bucky is exhausted. So much thinking, so many feelings; they are overwhelming him. He and Steve have said goodnight to the others and escaped to Steve's room. Tony has talked with his lawyers, hired them on Bucky's behalf. There is to be a meeting the next day with the authorities: Bucky Barnes will not be there, but he will be represented. There is nothing absolute they have on Bucky, nothing he can actually be arrested for. The District Attorney is frustrated but he knows that moving too fast will jeopardise any case he hopes to bring against the man. He is willing to wait, willing to thrash out something with the lawyers the next day but he has told them that he will prosecute, he will indite, it may take months, it may even take years but James Barnes will not escape punishment.
And Bucky doesn't think he should escape punishment. He believes he is guilty. The Winter Soldier is not convinced, his first thought is flight but for now he knows Tony Stark and Steve Rogers will keep him safe. He knows Steve's reasons, but he's unsure as to why Tony would help but he is willing to bet there is a reason.
Steve looks at the man who means so much to him. He can't lose him, not again. He stands in front of him looks into his tired eyes. He brings up his hand and strokes Bucky's face with the back of it. “I won't let anything happen to you,” he whispers, and leans forward and kisses Bucky's lips.
“Just make me forget for one night,” Bucky murmurs and Steve reaches down to the hem of Bucky's tee shirt and pulls it up and over his head, drops it on the floor. His hand trails over Bucky's chest, over the scarring and the metal plating and his eyes follow.
“They hurt you so much,” Steve whispers, his throat thick with emotion. How much more does Bucky have to go through? Why can't they see what happened to him? He looks up at Bucky's face, leans in, kisses his eyes, his lips then his throat and Bucky's hands come up and under Steve's tee shirt removing it.
“I wish I could be as beautiful as you,” he murmurs.
Steve laughs and then shakes his head in bewilderment. “You are beautiful, to me you always will be,” he leans forward again and kisses down to Bucky's chest, then moves to place his lips on the scarring.
“Don't,” Bucky tries to move away but Steve will not let him.
“I love all of you,” he says his voice husky with emotion and he leans in and kisses the scarring and then the metal plating. He holds Bucky's left hand and slots his fingers in next to Bucky's pulling him close so he can kiss his lips again and make Bucky forget everything.
For one night it is just the two of them.
Steve tells Bucky the world outside the door no longer exists.
And then he makes Bucky believe him.
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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant