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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant	By : TheConstant1944 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Captain America Views: 2391 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any Marvel characters. They are solely owned by Marvel and MCU. No money is made from this story.

Chapter List
- 69
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- 71
Chapter Seventy
The Constant, Steve Rogers & The Winter Soldier - Alive

The Constant
You have about fifteen minutes until the Winter Soldier will appear. You are still reeling from what you saw on the way to the agreed rendezvous point and you cannot get it out of your mind. As you sit there, your attention is focused a million miles away and when the phone goes it makes you jump out of your skin.
It rarely ever rings.
You fumble to pick it up and almost cut the call off in your haste to find the correct button.
“Hello?”
It's Felix, and your heart nearly stops. He has new instructions for you. The pick up has changed and he tells you that you are to stand down until later in the day. In the meantime they will text you with new co-ordinates.
“Is he all right?” you ask. You know you shouldn't, and there is silence and then he answers.
“Everything is fine,” and the phone goes dead.
Can they just not tell you the name of the new place you have to meet them? They know you hate new technology; if they send the co-ordinates it means you have to type them into the bloody Sat Nav and you and the Sat Nav never get on. You have a love hate relationship with it – it loves to make you hate it.
You wonder what has gone wrong.
You now have over four hours to kill; not enough time to head back to base but too long to just sit here or at the new meeting place but deep down you know immediately where you are going to go.
You drive back along the road you came in on and see the notice again. You thought you may have dreamt it but no it is still here. You turn down the slip road and follow it to the car park, purchase a ticket, and lock the car. You have plenty of time, but if Hydra find out what you are doing you will be in serious trouble. No excuses. It could even mean your death.
But you need to know.
You follow the pavement. There are plenty of signposts to ensure that you don’t get lost and it is difficult for you not to stop and gaze at the long banners on the way, at the advertisements for what you are going to see, but you don’t have time. You cannot be late: you must be where you should be in just under four hours.
There are crowds of people, families, and you nearly bottle out: you hate to be so exposed. You rarely encounter crowds in your life, and you are just not used to a lot of people all in the same area. At the entrance you take a deep breath and enter and in front of you is a huge hall with aircraft, of all things, hanging from the ceiling. You fumble to pay the entrance fee; they give you your change and a leaflet and then you are through the turnstile. To your left is the exhibition you saw advertised, the exhibition that so shocked you, the one you have come to visit. A copy of the original poster you saw is now in front of you by the entrance to the hall you are about to enter: Steve Rogers is alive. Still alive. You thought he had died a long time ago, until the sign you saw on the way to the rendezvous shattered that reality.
A larger banner welcomes visitors in.
Welcome Back, Cap!
You pass through the exhibits showing his journey to becoming Captain America. Parts are vaguely familiar; you saw some of this a long time ago, but the one thing you can see straight away is that the serum given to Steve Rogers was a lot more stable than that given to James Barnes.
You read the history and you know that as much as you would like to hate this man you couldn't ever do so because you can see why James fell in love with him. There is a morality to him: an innocence, the one James used to talk about. And you also learn something else – the film you had seen all those years ago with James was incorrect. Lehmann had doctored it to say what he wanted it to say. Steve Rogers had never forgotten Bucky. There is no doubt in your mind now that if Rogers had known Barnes had survived he would have come after him, he would have rescued him. It makes you want to weep for their lost life together.
You enter another huge room with a curving platform. There are mannequins stood in place wearing uniforms of the famous 'Howling Commandos,' and your heart gives a jolt when you see the one standing to the left of Steve Rogers. It is James. A small plaque tells you that the mannequin does not wear the original uniform as it does with the rest, as that was lost when James fell from the train. What it doesn't tell you is that Russian soldiers stripped it from him leaving him naked and vulnerable in the cold snow. Leaving him for dead.
It is beginning to seem so unreal, the noise in the background is making your ears hum and you feel faint. The long curving wall behind the mannequins showcases a battle scene with the Howling Commandos at the forefront, and you get as close as you can, carried away on the memory of James as you first saw him.
Then shaking yourself, remembering you are on borrowed time, you walk through to the next part of the exhibition. In your mind are thoughts of getting in contact with Steve Rogers and asking for his help to get the Winter Soldier away from Hydra, but then the next thing you see takes your breath away completely and you stop still dead in your tracks.
A FALLEN COMRADE
James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes
Bucky Barnes 1917 - 1944
It is a huge stone memorial to James Barnes.
(Authors note: For memorial please use: http://i.imgur.com/FSjdShm.png )
You slowly walk forward until you are standing about six feet away from it. A family is stood in front of you, reading the information etched into it, and you listen as their son reads it out aloud.
You stand, totally transfixed. You don’t feel the people pushing past you, you don’t hear the tuts as you get in their way. This is the James Barnes you first knew, the one brought into your camp, and for the first time you are finding out exactly just how he came to be where he was.
“Excuse me young lady...excuse me...” You become aware of someone touching your elbow and, startled, you turn and see an old man dressed in a security guard uniform. For one awful moment you thought Hydra had found you out.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
You realise that there are silent tears running down your cheeks, and he holds out a clean handkerchief to you; he tries to smile as he can see you are distressed but doesn’t know why.
You manage to rescue a tissue from your pocket but say thank you and he puts the handkerchief away.
“So sad,” he says, indicating the plaque. “The only Howling Commando to die in action – a very brave fellow and of course he was the best friend of our Captain America. They say he took it so hard when he lost him.”
You nod. You don’t want to talk to him, you just want to be alone with the picture and your memories but you can't be. Not here.
He smiles at you and nods back. “If you need anything just come and find me,” he pats you on the arm and then leaves you in peace.
You could barely drag your eyes away from the picture to talk to him and you turn back to it now. The family has moved away and you move a bit closer. As you do a recording starts up next to the memorial. It shows photographs of Steve and Bucky whilst a recorded voice narrates their story. You cannot help but put your hand to your mouth. Bucky looks so young, so innocent, so happy. The hall is quieter now; it is getting late, and you reach out to touch one of the photographs.
(Authors note: For photograph please use: http://i.imgur.com/hY4sYtx.png )
You don’t know how long you stand there for, it seems like forever as you watch the photographs loop around time and time again. You don’t know what makes you look away but you suddenly realise you don’t know what the time is and you look at your watch. You start. You have been here for over two hours and you need to move but you don’t want to leave.
That is when you become aware of someone close to you.
At first you think it is the guard and you turn to look at him a false smile on your face so he knows you are all right but it is not the guard and instead you find yourself looking up into blue eyes. The man is stood so close you can smell him; you can see blond hair poking out from the baseball cap he is wearing, at the look of puzzlement on his face as he tries to frame the question he wants to ask you.
It is the man stood in the photographs with James.
It is Steve Rogers.
Your heart lurches and you feel a cold sweat break out.
“Why?” he asks, mildly. “Why is this memorial affecting you so badly?” He has been watching your distress, the way you cried, the way you hold your body, the way you reached out to touch James.
You try to back away and the recording starts up again.
“I don’t know what you mean.” You have to escape. You try and edge out and away but he follows, totally unthreatening, but he has zeroed in on you and that makes him a threat.
You turn and go to walk away but his hand stays you and you look down at it on your arm and turn back to him.
You try to smile. “I just thought it sad he died so young. That's all.”
You are as bad a liar as he is, and he knows it.
He studies you as you study him. You can't help it. This is the man James loves, the man he would die for.
“No,” he says quietly, “it's more than that.”
It is as if he can look into your soul and see James there.
Your eyes widen, and before he can tighten his grip you turn and run.
He is caught off guard; he didn't expect you to bolt but you can now hear him behind you just as you see the guard from before. “Help me! Please, help me!” you call out to him and he turns to see you are being chased.
“That man is bothering me! He won't leave me alone! Please help! I don’t know who he is!” you say as you run past him, looking over your shoulder as the guard, ever the gentleman, steps into Steve's path and brings him to a halt.
“No! You need to let me through!” you hear Steve say and then you are out of the hall into the main part of the Smithsonian, eyes darting around to see where you can run to. You see the main doors and head for those. The guard is still blocking Steve's way and by the time he finally pushes by it is too late you are out of the building and gone.
Not only is Steve Rogers alive, he is here. And somewhere nearby so is the Winter Soldier. You jog all the way back to the car, keeping an eye out but there is no sign of Steve. You should have stayed, you should have begged for his help...but that would have been no good. He would have thought you were Hydra and he would have had you arrested and then you would be of no help to James.
You need a plan. You need to confront Steve Rogers in a controlled situation. One where he cannot call for help. One where you will have long enough to impress on him what has happened to his best friend.
And most importantly, that James is alive.
You sit in the front of the car. It is growing darker and you need to get going, your heart is thumping and you have a headache. You can't think. You go to start the car but your hands are shaking so badly you have to sit and calm yourself first. Then loading the directions into your Sat Nav you start the car and drive to where eventually you will meet up with the Winter Soldier. You will not be able to discuss Steve Rogers with him; he is too freshly out of cryo freeze and programming. He would not understand, and then instead of rescue all would be lost. Instead you need a plan.
You stop where you are supposed to be and lean your head on your hands on the steering wheel. The task ahead of you is immense. Where do you even start? Where do you find Steve Rogers in a city this big? How do you move forward?
Another thought crosses your mind.
The bag.
You know that something big is brewing, and that when the storm comes it is going to change the world. You had a plan, a small failsafe; you hid a bag in one of the rail station lockers. It is full of money, a gun, and other essentials. It is there in case the Winter Soldier needs an escape plan. It was until now just a stupid thing you did but now you are busy thinking. The bag is in the wrong place; you need to change its location. You need to bring it to the Smithsonian...or at least on the route to it. You can add in the leaflet and directions. If the Winter Soldier ever does end up on his own, if he begins remembering, then you will have tried to point him in the right direction.
Tomorrow you are coming in to the inner-city vault; on your way you will divert and move the bag. No one should realise as it is just a few miles out of your way and you will be alone.
Should you try and see Steve Rogers as well? If so how, where do you find him? The problem all seems so big, so impossible. But you have to do something. So far there has been no one to help you rescue James but now, what could be better than the man who loves him?
What do you do first?
You are so focused on your thoughts you do not realise someone has come up to the car until you hear the boot open and then slam shut and it jolts you. Looking in the mirror you see the Winter Soldier and you breathe deeply. He mustn't see that anything is wrong.
The passenger door opens and the Winter Soldier gets in. You start the car, he has been running, his breathing is unusually heavy and there is sweat on his brow.
“Are you all right?” you ask and he turns to look at you a slight frown on his face. You are sure you can see pain in his eyes as he removes his mask.
He says nothing, just looks at you.
Something is wrong. You feel it so you repeat the question. He looks away.
“Just drive,” he says quietly, and you do - but every so often you turn to look at him. He is losing colour, his skin fading grey. He is rubbing his temple and you know it is signs of a oncoming migraine. He has his eyes closed and his other fist is clenched, you can hear the rings of metal moving as he opens and then closes his left hand again and again.
“Shall I stop for a moment?” you ask. He doesn't respond but his face is showing the pain he is in and so you pull over and switch the engine off. Before you can say anything you hear him speak.
“I don't understand,” he whispers. His teeth are clenched.
“What don't you understand?”
“I had him on the ropes.” And as he says these words his body begins to tremble and spasm and you realise that he is fitting.
*
Steve Rogers
They call him the man out of time, and that is just how he feels.
As he moves about the city he finds everything so strange and he longs to see something familiar, something he recognises, something that is not so loud and in-your-face. In that much he feels so very old.
Whenever he travels around looking for something to occupy his mind he always end up at the same place: the Smithsonian. Not because one of the exhibitions there is about his life, but because Bucky is there. He can walk around it, see the other Howling Commandos, his friends, see Bucky - who is – was - so much more than his friend. His soul mate. He misses the feel of him, the smell, the warmth of his body, the touch of his hand. When his belongings were given to him out of storage there were a couple of items of Bucky's, including an old coat and if he hugs it close to him he can almost still smell him.
“God, I miss you Buck,” he says quietly. Sometimes the pain is more than he can bear.
Peggy is there too, and he loves to watch her on the screen talking about their friendship and how he meant so much to her. But, of course, by this time her heart belongs to someone else: he has lost her, she is a good friend but not the person she could have become to him.
Sometimes being found and woken is the worst thing that has happened to him in his life. Second only to losing Bucky.
He always goes incognito, although this time a young boy recognises him and nods as Steve Rogers smiles and puts a finger to his lips. He doesn’t want to be recognised, he wants to be alone with his thoughts in this place surrounded by his memories. He ducks into the viewing room and watches Peggy for the umpteenth time since he came back. He still visits her in the hospital but it is heartbreaking to watch as she slips slowly into dementia, all her memories being taken from her whilst his flood his mind in a never ending reminder of what he has lost.
When he comes back out into the hall the young boy has long gone and Steve sits on a bench opposite Bucky's memorial. He is tired; he doesn’t want to go back to an empty apartment. He watches as the people go by, sees their reactions to the loss of his best friend, sees them shake their heads and murmur words that they will soon forget, such a shame, such a young age to die, so sad.
“I didn't even get to bring you home,” he whispers to himself. They buried an empty coffin and Steve finds he cannot weep at the empty grave.
He should think about leaving, going home. Maybe ring Sam, meet up have a cold beer.
Then he sees her.
He is looking at the entrance as she comes in, her eyes wide, trying to take in everything around her and he is about to look away when he sees her eyes flick past Bucky's memorial and then straight back again and she stops in her tracks, shocked.
She is oblivious to the family who almost walk into her, the mother tutting as they pass. The shock has turned to distress as she starts to slowly walk towards the memorial until she is stood in front of it, slightly off to his right.
She has the longest hair he thinks he has ever seen, plaited as it runs down her back. He sees a young child reach out to bat it just before the mother stops her but he doesn’t think the woman would have noticed if the child had touched it. She is totally focused on Bucky. Totally.
She doesn’t move. A family stands in front of her and their son is reading out the words on the memorial, and as she listens quiet tears slowly run down her cheeks, but she is oblivious to them. She is staring at his photograph, at Bucky with such a longing that it shocks him how it makes him feel as if he could cry with her.
She cannot have known him. She is, what twenty-five? Maybe slightly older? Why is she so upset?
The family move away and a security guard approaches and asks her if she is all right, and jolts her back to the present – but she can barely look away from the picture even when talking to the guard and deep down Steve feels that somehow she knew James Barnes. How is that possible?
The guard leaves her and she steps forward and her proximity starts the automatic recording off to the left of the memorial. He knows the words off by heart - he has listened to them so many times. She is captured by it watching it as it loops around, the exhibition is getting quieter now as the afternoon starts to draw in and he watches as she reaches out and runs her fingers over Bucky's face. Her whole body leans in towards the photographs as if she can absorb him and take him with her.
He needs to know who she is.
He needs to know why she is so upset. Why does he feel that he could share his grief with her?
She seems to come to her senses and looks at her watch. Steve panics; if she leaves he will never know who she is and so he stands and walks up to be close to her when she turns. And as she turns she senses him and he tries to be as unthreatening as he can: whilst she is tall he still towers over her.
She smiles at him until she looks at him properly and then he sees her eyes widen and a look of shock appears on her face which she tries to cover quickly.
He can't help but blurt the question out in his mind. “Why?...why is the memorial affecting you so badly?”
Again the shock in her eyes, and again that quick masking. “I don’t know what you mean.” She gives him a cold smile and turns to walk away.
Without thinking what he is doing he reaches out and touches her arm. It stops her and she turns back to him. She is a bad liar. He can see it in her face and he just knows that she knows who he is. She knows exactly what he is talking about, and he needs to know.
“Why?” he asks again.
“I just thought it sad he died so young. That's all.” She tries that smile again. She really is a worse liar than he is.
“No. It's more than that.” He tries to smile himself so she won't feel threatened because now he can see fear in her look, in the way she is holding herself.
Without warning she turns and runs.
“Hey!” He is startled and then runs after her. She is fast, and he watches as she disappears into the hallway then as she runs past the guard he hears her say something and the guard, old as he is, jumps forward and Steve has to stop before he knocks him over.
“No! you need to let me through!” Steve tries to dodge past but the guard is telling him to leave the lady alone, he tries to watch where she runs and by the time he manages to dodge past he has lost her.
She recognised him. She knew who he was. She knew he was Steve Rogers and somehow deep down he knows she knew James Barnes.
How?
On his way back to his apartment he tries to figure out how he can find her again. Maybe the Smithsonian has cameras? If so, could they get a copy of any tape that may have caught her?
It is still very much on his mind as he comes up to his door, stopping first to have a word with his neighbour, Sharon, a nurse at the local hospital. He feels himself blushing; she always makes him feel that way. He always feels an attraction to her and for a moment she makes him forget everything with a mild bout of flirting. Something he has never been any good at.
Then as she turns to go she mentions how he must have left his stereo on playing in his apartment and everything else leaves his mind. He had not realised the faint music had been coming from his rooms.
He puts the key in the lock and turns it quietly. She is right. He can hear the music. A song called It's Been a Long, Long Time as played by Harry James and his orchestra. Brought out literally a few months after Bucky had died, but it was a song that reminds him of him all the same. He knows he didn't leave it on when he left earlier.
As Sharon disappears downstairs he slowly edges his way into his apartment. The apartment is dim, and quiet apart from the music. He reaches down and picks up his shield from where it is leant against the wall. He listens carefully, trying to hear over the gentle, lazy, melody playing and slowly he looks around the corner to where he sees Nick Fury sitting in one of his chairs.
He sighs and leans against the wall. “I don't remember giving you a key.” His voice shows he is not best pleased with coming home and finding his boss in his apartment.
Nick groans and leans forward in the chair. “You really think I need one? My wife kicked me out,” he says.
“Didn't know you were married.”
“A lot of things you don't know about me.”
Steve walks forward. “I know, that's the problem.” And as he talks he switches on one of the light switches. A lamp next to Nick comes on and Steve is shocked when he sees the state Nick is in: bruised, battered, but Nick holds up his hand to indicate to Steve not to say anything.
Nick reaches up and switches the lamp back off. He has his phone in his hand and he taps out a message to Steve on the screen.
'Ears everywhere,' and as Steve reads the message Nick says: “I'm sorry to have to do this but I had nowhere else to crash.” He continues to tap out another message on the telephone screen, turning it to Steve 'SHIELD compromised'.
“Who else knows about your wife?” Steve asks. Nick stands up holding his side in pain “Just...my friends,” he says tapping out the next message 'You and me.'
“Is that what we are?” Steve asks.
“That's up to you...” But as the words are spoken loud gun shots make Steve jump and bullets fly through the window, smashing the panes and thudding into Nick's body; he cries out in pain. Yet more shots are fired, and Nick goes down.
Steve runs forward, crouching down to kneel next to Fury and as he does he looks out through the window through which the shots were fired. On the opposite building he sees a figure, a glint of silver. He grabs Fury, pulling him to safety and away from the window, and grabs his shield once more. He goes to leave and Fury tightens his grip on his hand. Steve looks down and realises that Nick is trying to say something. The hand he is holding has something in it, a USB stick which Nick passes to him.
“Don't...trust anyone.” Nick is having trouble talking, having trouble breathing. Before Steve can say anything there is the sound of hammering at the door and the door flies open.
And Sharon is there, edging her way into the apartment, gun sighted. She calls out: “Captain Rogers?” She moves forward without waiting for a reply, still speaking. All the time the gun is up in her hand. “Captain. I'm Agent 13: SHIELD's special service.”
“Agent?” Steve repeats.
“I'm assigned to protect you,” and as she moves forward she sees Nick Fury on the floor.
“On whose orders?” Steve demands.
“His,” Sharon says, kneeling down beside Nick. She produces a walkie talkie. “Foxtrot is down. He's unresponsive I need EMT's.”
“Do we have a twenty on the shooter?” a male voice asks and Sharon looks at Steve who is now looking back out at the man stood on the roof, still that glint of silver. And then the man jumps up and runs.
“Tell them I'm in pursuit,” Steve says.
Leaving Sharon caring for Nick, Steve jumps through one of the apartment windows, using his shield for protection, and straight through one of the windows in the office next door with the intention of getting to the roof to catch the sniper. After racing through most of the building and working his way upwards he smashes through a window onto the top of the building just as the sniper gets to the very edge of the roof. Steve believes he has him cornered.
To stop the assassin and bring him down, Steve hurls his shield at his target but at the last minute the man turns and grabs the shield, catching it in a metal embrace. His entire left arm and hand are made up of a silver metal, with a red star on its shoulder. The catch stuns Steve.
Authors note: For picture see http://i.imgur.com/g1Yyarz.png
The assassin's face is masked, Steve can only see the eyes and he wishes he couldn't. There is such a look in them that he doesn’t understand. Around the eyes his face is blackened with camouflage paint but the blue of the irises still shows. And actually within them – he cannot decipher the look. It is the first time ever he has understood what they mean when they say you can see into someones soul. And this someone's soul is in hell.
Throwing him off guard the assassin, using his strength, launches Steve's shield back at him with a greater force. Steve actually hears the movements of the arm as it gears up for the throw. When Steve catches the shield the punch of it drives him back two or three steps. Steve looks back up but the figure is gone. He runs to the edge of the roof and looks over. They are about eight stories up.
Nothing - the man has fled, and there is no sign of him or which way he went. How is that possible? They are up high and there is no where else to jump to but the ground which, although Steve could survive, no other man should be able to unless they were enhanced. No fire escape. There was simply no other place to go.
By the time he gets back to his apartment Nicky Fury is barely alive. The EMT'S have arrived and are getting him ready to take in the ambulance. His chances of survival are dropping every second.
The next few hours are fraught. All the time Steve's mind is thinking, he should have done something, should have stopped it from happening but the thing that haunts him is those eyes.
Nat and Maria Hill join him and they look on in disbelief as the surgeons lose the battle to save Nick. His injuries are just too severe and too many and they call the time of death as 1:03 a.m.
*
Later, Nat gets Steve to tell her about what happened. As he describes the assassin he sees it is of no surprise to her: “I know who killed Fury. Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years.”
A ghost. But to her even more than that. A nightmare.
“Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot at my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff. I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him straight through me.” She pulls up her shirt to show him the bullet wound on the side of her stomach. “A Soviet slug, no rifling. Bye-bye bikinis...going after him is a dead end. I know, I've tried.”
But now they have something that might help. Nick Fury's flash drive.
But will it be too late? In losing Nick, have they already lost the battle?
*
The Winter Soldier
The first part of the mission had failed. Something the Winter Soldier and his team are not used to happening.
They had underestimated both Fury and the vehicle he was travelling in. He had escaped. But then Hydra had tracked him down, found him in an apartment and Felix, under orders from Pierce, had again sent in the Winter Soldier after holding him back in the wings.
He had made his way across the roof to a level where he could see into the apartment – the very room the target was now in. The room was dim, a light had gone on but had just as quickly been put out but it was enough and then the man had stood up.
The Winter Soldier had aimed and fired three rounds dead on target, and as the man went down he had fired three more.
He had waited a few more minutes until he could definitely see the target was down and then he turned and made his way back to the roof. He wasn't sure when he first realised someone was following him, or when that someone was doing more than following. He realised someone was chasing after him. Someone fast and strong.
They had ended up on the roof together. The Winter Soldier was so close to escape but the other man was just as near. The Winter Soldier had heard a noise and he knew that something was being thrown at him. He even knew what it was. He recognised the noise it made as it skimmed through the air towards him. He has heard that noise before. He turned and put his left arm up and caught it.
The shield.
He knew it would be that, but how he knew is a complete mystery to him. He holds it in his hand, he knows the weight of it, knows how it feels. He is certain that he has held it before. The man chasing him has stopped. It is too dark for the Winter Soldier to see him clearly but something about the way he holds himself is familiar and the Soldier tries to think but with that comes pain, severe pain.
He tenses his arm and throws the shield back at the man, driving him backwards a couple of feet. As the man struggles to hold on to the shield the Soldier jumps from the top of the building. He lands and immediately flattens himself against the wall, knowing the man will come and look for him. He also knows the man can make the same jump – but again...how does he know that?
He gives it a minute knowing the man will return to the apartment to see to his friend and then softly pads down the street, keeping out of sight, and makes his way to the rendezvous point. All the way he tries to think, tries to re-visualise what he could see of the man. Tries to recreate the feel of the shield in his hand.
He gets in the waiting car. The woman starts the car and begins the drive back to base. He takes off his face mask. He is sweating heavily. How can that be? By now his head is hurting really badly; his programming is telling him to stop thinking, stop trying to access his memories but he is determined to solve the riddle and for a moment he closes his eyes, tries to put himself back on the rooftop.
“Shall I stop for a moment?” the woman asks him, breaking the silence. He doesn't reply but he feels the car slow, stop, and he hears her switch the engine off.
“What is it?” she asks, turning to him.
As the pain intensifies a desperate sadness comes over him. He knows it's to do with the unknown man.
“I don't understand,” he whispers.
“What don't you understand?”
And in his mind he sees him. Sees the tall blond man standing talking to him. They are on a train, one that is hurtling along the track on the snow covered mountains. Both are armed, both moving through the goods carriage's filled with crates marked 'Waffen SS'.
He has his gun in his hand, up ready to shoot. The man he is with is dressed mainly in blue and has a star on the chest of his outfit. He knows they are friends, colleagues. The man walks in front, goes through an open doorway and is suddenly cut off by the door closing. When enemy soldiers enter both carriages there is a heavy exchange of gunfire from both sides. One of the guns the enemy is using is a double barrelled canon and the shots fired from it would be fatal if they found their mark.
The Winter Soldier finds his gun is now empty. The door reopens and his colleague is stood there and throws him another gun. He gives fire cover whilst his fellow soldier runs and hits one of the heavy packing cases which jolts and makes the gunman crouched behind it stand and he takes him out with a single gun shot.
“I had him on the ropes,” he hears himself say to his companion.
“I know you did,” the man replies drily.
They both hear a noise and suddenly his friend yells “Get down!” and covers them both with his shield.
The shield.
Before he can move or think there is a terrible explosion and they are both sent flying. There is now a terrible rent in the side of the carriage they are in, and the wind howls through it.
He comes to, his head is ringing, he sees the shield on the floor in front of him, picks it up. He must protect his friend.
“Get out of here now!” he yells at his companion who is still staggering from the explosion.
The enemy soldier is walking forward, aiming the huge canon gun at his friend and he knows he cannot let him get hurt. He uses the shield to protect himself and fires his gun at the man but there is one last blast of the large gun towards him. It hits the shield, pushing him backwards and out through the rent in the side of the train, as he falls backwards he drops the shield on the floor of the train. He manages to catch hold of a piece of the metal on the outside of the train as it races along the track but the metal is fragile and threatening to break at any moment. The wind is buffeting him. He finds it difficult to hang on. Snow flurries make his eyes sting, his skin cold.
“Bucky!” His friend is there, shouting and climbs out of the hole and edges his way along to where he is hanging on for dear life.
“Hold on!” his friend shouts, holding out his hand. “Grab my hand!”
And he tries to. Tries to reach forward as much as he can but they are inches short and as he tries again the metal comes away and he falls backwards, still reaching. The last view he has is of his blond friend's outstretched hand, the terrible look on his face, and the receding train.
“It's all right. You're all right. Try and breathe deeply,” a voice tells him but he is fighting it, fighting the hands trying to steady him. He can still feel how it felt to fall, still feel the panic. The pain in his head is immense and he is crying out.
“Felix, I have a problem...he's having a fit...I don't know, one minute he was fine and then the next...hang on let me look...” He hears a woman reciting what sounds like co-ordinates, and then darkness descends.
The next time he opens his eyes he is back at base in the medical centre. He is still dressed in his clothes and he thinks they can't have been back there long. The woman is with him and she bends over him, her hand on his shoulder as he tries to sit up.
“Not yet, Soldier, you need to stay lying down...”
“I'll go and tell them he's awake,” he hears someone say and the woman nods. As the door closes the woman, Freya, that's her name he thinks, comes closer. “I told them you had a fit. Can you remember anything?” she asks anxiously looking from him to the door.
He closes his eyes briefly. He thinks he can still feel the motion of the train.
“I was on a train...” he says and the colour drains out of her cheeks.
“Listen. It is very important you don't tell them that. Do you understand?” Her eyes show she is worried.
“They will do a full wipe, they will hurt you more than they need to...oh God!” she doesn't know how much to tell him, she doesn't know how long before someone comes in. “I told them you had a fit that is all, if you remember what caused it don't say if you can help it. In mission report just tell them about your mission, not about what you remembered after, not about the train...” And she stops as the door opens.
And he knows.
He knows to trust her.
He knows what he experienced was a memory.
And he knows where he has seen and held that shield before. But, he just doesn't know why.
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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant