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The Invisible Handjob	By : Ksennin Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Spiderman Views: 52206 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I own neither Ultimate Spider-Man nor any of the franchise's characters. I make no money from publishing this.

Chapter List
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Logan jumped around. Kid had some sort of danger sense on him. A bit like his ol’ animal instincts. He adapted easily to them. Just went with the beast inside. Dodged the blasts, scaled the wall, found himself landing beside the little chick-a-dee and slapping the gun out of her hands.
Girlie gave a roar—Jesus—and he slapped the taste out of her mouth too. Then the MILF shot at him. He thought he’d try the web stuff, make the kid look good, and leaned to the side as he fired out a whatcamacall, webline. It hit the gun, he pulled it away, Sasha roared too, so he clocked her in the gut, threw her on top of her daughter, and webbed them up like they were giving each other a hug. Professor would probably like that. He was a big believer in family, after all.
“You fool!” Sasha cried, craning her head so she didn’t spit in Ana’s face as she spoke. “You’ve ruined everything! Do you have the slightest idea vhy we needed your Kravinoff? What distant worlds ve have traveled through the web of life to—“
Logan didn’t listen to the rest. Walking around them, he’d noticed how Sasha’s tits were pressed against Ana’s. Now that was some mother-daughter bonding he could get behind.
“Okay!” he said, halfway through her spiel, taking a seat and pulling up his mask. Christ, could he not breathe in that thing. “I’ll bite. Why the fuck do you need a retarded version of Steve Irwin?”
“Because where we are from—“ Ana piped up, with a less pronounced accent, “there is no Kraven! He died! Dead at his own hand as the climax of his grim hunt!”
“Now ain’t that a shame. Bet the deer population’s just all out o’ control without him. Not ta mention all the goats won’t never lose their virginity.”
“Arrogant Americanski!” Sasha screamed. “You could never hope to understand a true manhood like my husband’s! Even this vorld’s pale reflection could at least prove virile enough to give me child—a male heir to the Kravinoff line that stretches back to the height of Russian power!”
“Well, hell.” Logan crouched down beside them. “If you wanted ta get knocked up, darlin’, all you needed to do was ask. You’re still young. Got enough left in ya to squeeze one out.”
“How dare you! How dare you make your commoner insinuations of me, the Lady Kravinoff—“
There was a reason Logan fucked on the first date, and it was because he always knew when to shut a girl up about Edward Snowden or the weather or what-the-fuck-ever and just kiss her. He grabbed Sasha by her pixie-cut and crushed his mouth against hers.
And the kid’s inexperienced body picked it up in spades. He almost could’ve believe that a bit of Frenching was turning him on like this, but the machinery was damn sensitive. His balls were churning as he devoured the woman’s mouth. He dropped a hand to her back and ran it down to her ass, which he gave a good squeeze to right through the webbing.
Ana watched the Spider force his tongue upon her mother’s mouth and cried out, kicking and screaming and trying to ignore how good Sasha’s thigh felt between her legs where they were pressed together, and the Spider’s kiss made her mother writhe…
So Logan stopped kissing Sasha and kissed Ana.
Ana would never, ever admit that he was the first man who had ever kissed her. Never say aloud that his tongue’s exploration between her parted lips sent sparks racing through her body. She would kill on the spot anyone who said she had opened her mouth and met his tongue with her own. If she saw graffiti on a building saying that a prickly feeling had covered her flesh and she’d wondered if she excited him in the same way he did her, she would’ve burned the building down. That was all just happenstance. She hated being kissed by him. Hated it, hated it, hated it!
And Sasha felt her daughter’s nipples harden against her chest.
“Mmhm. Not bad,” Logan said, pulling away from the two sets of kiss-bruised lips. “You want a heir, could do worse than letting the girl carry it for ya. Do her tits a favor. Make ‘em nice and plump like momma’s.”
“Cockroach!” Sasha huffed. “We were only going to come to this world for the heir, but now, we vill have our revenge on you!”
Ana nodded in desperate agreement. “No jail can hold a Hunter!”
“Can’t get enough of me, eh? I’m touched. But I think you’d better write to Miss Manners ‘fore you can expect me to take you two out again. Mind your Ps and Qs, maybe next time I’ll invite you up for coffee.”
The police had finally realized the situation was resolved, and Logan could see their blowtorches cutting through the door. He shot out a webline and yanked himself up it, managing to exit the premises before he revealed his inexperience with the stuff. Not bad for a day’s work. Peter could thank him for keeping up the hero shit later. Kid owed him one.
***
Peter joked, but he thought he had a pretty healthy libido for a teenage boy. He masturbated occasionally, got together with Sue every so often, it was probably good for his heart or kidneys or something. It certainly felt good. And once he’d bopped it, then he could go on patrol in a spandex onesie without worrying that he’d tent his blue and red because he caught Black Cat bending over.
The problem with being in Wolverine’s body was that he could fuck someone pretty much nonstop for hours and the same healing factor that was only really strained by napalm kept him as horny as ever. As long as he was aroused, he’d stay hard, and he’d keep fucking, and he took responsibility for it, not being aroused wasn’t going to be on the table for him. He tried to think of Wilson Fisk eating a hot dog or something, but he couldn’t go through with it; the thought of having an erection and that mental image at the same time was just too frightening.
So he just kept fucking Ali, while thinking distantly, vaguely, that he should probably be doing something to help the X-Men. Something besides giving one of them orgasms.
He wondered why the smell of Ali’s arousal seemed to have gotten so much stronger recently. Almost like there were two of her. Two horny women in the room with him.
***
Rogue’s dupe watched Wolverine pull out of Alison Blaire, fist his dick, and squeeze out great lashings of cum on the girl’s stomach, into her pubic hair. Dazzler reached down, grinning up at him as she massaged some into her skin, scooped more up to her mouth where she licked it avidly from her fingers.
The dupe couldn’t figure it out. Why waste a squirt like that on someone’s belly like it was sunscreen? Why not cum on her tits like he had with Marvel Girl in the video? And how was it that bastard could go from Jean Grey to Alison Blaire in, what, one hour? Was he just fucking everyone?
Another dupe came through the door, seeing the first peeking around the corner. “Hey—“
The other Rogue shushed her quickly. “Get over here,” she told herself. “You’ve gotta see this.”
- 6
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- 8
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The Invisible Handjob