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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant	By : TheConstant1944 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Captain America Views: 2391 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
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Chapter Sixty-Two
The Constant & The Winter Soldier - Up Close And Personal

You are not supposed to be on a mission with the Winter Soldier.
You are just his exit point.
You ask yourself for the umpteenth time: How did this happen?
The room you are in is opulent, and you can tell there is a lot of money here. The other people you are with know exactly what to do. Some have evidently been here before.
You have not.
You should be in a car parked at least five miles from here, waiting for the mission to be completed. You should be in jeans and a top, not a short skirt that keeps rucking up, a blouse with such a low top you can see your bra, lace underwear, stockings and suspenders...for goodness' sake you gave up wearing those a long time ago! You thought they were out of fashion now!
The men have come into the room and Lisa smiles and winks at you. You tug at your skirt again.
“You'll be okay,” Lisa whispers, and you wonder how a fifteen year old could be so confident. She shouldn't be here: she should be with parents who love her, attending school with other children, not trying to earn her next days living.
The men who come in are old - not as old as you, of course, but then you don't look your age. They are corpulent, decadent, and disgusting: they are used to having what they want when they want it, and tonight they intend to have you and the four other prostitutes in the room.
William, the man who brought you all here, knows who is for who and he matches you all up. One wanted a young girl – Lisa is fifteen but looks twelve and who can tell the difference? Two didn't have any preferences - Paula and Michelle – and a third is into boys – Martyn. Call me Marty.
And then there are the two who like to share and wanted Russian meat.
You.
You are introduced to them but you are not told their names. Your name is to be Anna and you are told to say something to them in Russian. William makes the introductions and smiles at them. He is Hydra. He knows why you are here.
What do you say? Do they even understand Russian? From their accents you believe they are American but you are not sure.
“Good evening gentlemen. It is a nice evening out there,” you hazard stupidly. William ducks his head but the two men smile and nudge each other. You realise they don't speak the language but they love to hear it. They imagine you are saying something quite different. Something dirty.
William taps you gently on the back to move you forward and you end up sitting between them.
William takes his leave. The door closes behind him, and you and the other prostitutes are alone with your clients. Two bodyguards at the door inside and two outside. More roaming the house and gardens. These men are important, at the top of their game, their safety is of utmost importance. The room is on the ground floor and there is an open doorway onto a terrace with a few steps that lead down to the garden. Two bodyguards patrol the terrace.
But Hydra wants these men out of the way. Hydra wants them dead.
In the handbag you have with you is a small device. It looks just like a compact mirror but will blank out all communications in the area. It is on a timer set for five minutes.
You just have to survive those five minutes.
Around you the men are beginning to enjoy their purchases. Lisa is actually sat on her customer's lap, curled up. Martyn, call me Marty, is knelt on the sofa next to his man. You are not sure what the other two are getting up to. Your stomach is cramped, you are sweating, and you feel sick.
The men either side of you turn slightly so they can see you. You feel trapped. They smell and their flesh looks pale and slimy. How can you touch them? How can you let them touch you? Just how far will things get before they are taken out?
You try to smile as one of them runs his hand down your arm and the other one reaches over and puts his hand down your blouse to paw at your breast. He can feel the lace of the cup and his other hand comes up to push the back of your head so he can lean in and kiss you. The other man, meanwhile, has let his hand run down your arm and it is now on your thigh, moving up and under your skirt. His arm is up on the back of the sofa and he too is leaning so he can kiss you, sharing you with his friend.
You are going to suffocate. You can feel them touching you, the hand on the back of your head has you in a firm hold and the man's lips are pressing against yours, his tongue trying to get into your mouth. You can't do it. You can't do this. You try to move but they increase the pressure of their hold and the man's hand pulls roughly at the lace until he has your breast free and his fingers are crushing your nipple.
You try to pull away, the man with his hand on your thigh has taken one of your hands and put it on his lap. No. Not on his lap. His flies are open and he has put it inside on his erection.
You are going to be sick. You really cannot do this.
You hear a noise that sounds like a gun shot in the distance and then all hell breaks loose.
It is as if it happens in slow motion, you are trying to get up and away and your eyes are looking at Martyn as he is just across from you. He looks as though he is enjoying his company but looks can be deceiving; he is a rent boy, he is paid to look as if it is enjoyable.
Suddenly he jumps back in disbelief as his customer's head explodes, splattering him with blood and gore and then before you can take it in Martyn's head explodes as well, his body falls backwards and you can now see the patio doors.
The Winter Soldier is there, stepping in but you have never seen him like this. The sight of him paralyses you, his whole face is covered: you cannot even see his eyes, you do not even recognise the way he is moving. It is like he has become another person. He is a killing machine. Nothing more. His arm is raised and the shots have come from his weapon. He is not just frightening. He is terrifying.
The two bodyguards at the door behind you don't even get a chance to get their weapons out before they are shot, their bodies thrown back against the door, dead before they even hit the ground.
The Winter Soldier swings to the left and shoots straight through Paula and Michelle both who are straddling their customers. The shots take them through the heart and the bullets continue straight though to the targets. Their bodies slump forward and the men's heads hang off the back of the sofa they are on, blood already beginning to splatter down to the floor.
Lisa is screaming. She has jumped to her feet but has frozen. Her customer pulls her back so her body covers his. The Winter Soldier takes aim and you try to shout at him.
“No!”
But he doesn't hear you. He is on mission.
He fires three shots. One goes through Lisa and two others hit the man as she falls away. She sits on the floor, hand clutched to the wound in her midriff.
As you jump up one of your men stands up behind you and grabs at you, putting his arm around your throat and holding you in front of him. You try to shake him off; he may be fat, but he is strong. The Winter Soldier has turned and his gun bucks and the man left on the sofa is dead.
The gun is now trained on you and any second now the Soldier will fire. You do not recognise the man in front of you. You have never seen him on mission before. Never seen the utter lack of compassion. He is a stone cold killer.
You can hear the man whimpering behind you, pulling you this way and that as the gun moves to sight his target and then the Soldier fires and you feel a burning sensation across the top of your shoulder. There is a grunt from behind you and as he falls backwards he takes you with him. You watch the Winter Soldier walk towards you. You struggle to try and get away as the Winter Soldier comes closer. The man underneath you is still alive, mewling.
The Winter Soldier now stands over the two of you. You don't know if he recognises you as he raises his gun to fire. You struggle and pull away just as the gun goes off again. If you hadn't moved you think the bullet would have killed you as well as the target.
The Winter Soldier's attention is on you now. He is assessing you. You are not one of those to be killed on this mission, you present no danger, you have no weapon, and his hand drops to his side.
You hear more voices as some of the Winter Soldier's team come in through the terrace. There is a continual banging on the door followed by gun shots outside in the corridor and then there is silence. The Winter Soldier's eyes sweep the room. All the men are accounted for.
He moves away from you.
The smell of blood and discharged weapons is strong and everywhere you look there seems to be blood. Only the men were supposed to be killed and in your naivety you thought the prostitutes would be safe, but no. They were in the way of the kill and therefore were disposed of. If you hadn't moved at the last moment would you would be lying dead amongst them?
You see a movement out of the corner of your eye but so does the Winter Soldier. It is Lisa. She is clutching at her stomach and trying to crawl across the floor. She is crying and the pain in her face is terrible to behold.
You scrabble to your feet. The Winter Soldier has assessed the woman is of no danger and he turns away from her.
“Lisa,” you whisper as you kneel down beside her, trying to see the damage, trying to stop the bleeding.
You look back at the Winter Soldier and his men.
“Please help me. Please. We need to stop her bleeding,” you cry, and for a moment they stop talking and look at you.
“Anna,” Lisa's voice is so weak. She clutches your hand now as you try to stem the blood flow.
Those beautiful eyes of hers are closing. The light is going out of them.
“No, hang on Lisa, please don't...I'll get help...I'll...” she tries to hang on to you but it is too late and she dies as the promise of help leaves your lips.
You stare at her face. “Lisa...Lisa...?”
You feel a hand on your shoulder. It is Felix Bauer, the Team Leader.
“She's gone,” he says.
He can see the pain and shock in your eyes. You turn back to her and try to shrug his hand off your shoulder.
“Freya. We need to go. We have to get out of here,” he says, and forcefully pulls you up and makes you look at him.
“I can't leave her here,” you say.
“You must. Pull yourself together,” he shakes you. “We need to leave. Go through the patio doors, get in the van, and wait there. We'll be with you in a minute.” He lets go of you, but you don't move. “Go!” He pushes you to the patio doors and you stumble out into the night air, shivering more from shock than cold.
You didn't look at the Winter Soldier. You couldn't.
So this is this what he is like 'on mission.' He becomes a different creature, almost an automaton, no compassion, nothing but a cold efficient killing machine. He is just there to get a job done, and unless it is stated in the parameters, civilian casualties do not matter. You don't believe he even knew you and you think he would have shot straight through you to get to his mark.
How frightening a sight he is to be the last person someone ever sees in this world. The true dark angel of death. How could you of been so innocent? How could you not have considered the bloodshed? Did you think the assassinations would be a simple bullet through the forehead, a small hole and a trickle of blood? You who have worked with war casualties. You know the destruction weapons can cause.
Stupid, so stupid. And the fear in those people's faces. In Lisa's. The way you all froze, the shock of it.
You stumble down the steps onto the lawn. You have lost your shoes on the way and the cool wet grass makes you slip. You stop yourself from falling and carry on until you hit the tarmac of the road. The team's vehicle is sat in front of you. A midnight blue van. In the back are two lots of seats facing each other. You travelled in it to meet up with William and after it left you with him it went to collect the Winter Soldier and his team. You remember the critical eye William passed over you. Was it really only five hours ago?
“Hmm. Are those the only clothes you have?” had been his first question to you. You were dressed in jeans and a simple top.
Felix had reminded him that you were filling in, a last minute switch after William had discovered his Russian prostitute dead from a drug overdose. They needed to send someone in to carry the blocker, the dead prostitute had worked with Hydra before and they could trust her. The others they were using weren't known to them. You were the only choice; you were already with the team for the exit strategy. You had argued with him. You didn't want to go, you didn't want to be used. Felix had promised you would only be in there for ten minutes at the most, and that no harm would come to you. He didn't bank on you becoming friends with the people you travelled with in such a short time. Especially Lisa.
From somewhere they had come up with a black outfit which was even shorter than normal on you because you are tall. Lisa had helped you dress. When she had seen your plait she had been ecstatic. You were slightly dazed by her enthusiasm; she had wanted to be a hairdresser, to own her own salon one day. She was so full of life, had all these plans of what she was going to do when she had saved up enough money.
Whilst she worked on your hair she asked you questions about yourself. She thought it was funny that you did not seem to know what you were doing. When you told her you were new to the game she believed you. After all you weren't lying: you have only ever slept with one man, James Barnes.
You liked her. She deserved a better life than the one she had.
She had deserved a better death.
The tarmac is pulling at your stockinged feet. You stumble past the vehicle and carry on walking down the road to the gates. You don't hear Vadik hailing you, trying to get you back; he can't leave the vehicle until the rest of the team return and he doesn't know where you are going.
You carry on, stumbling, around the curve in the drive, the bushes now starting to crowd in on the side of the road making it difficult in the dark to see where you are going.
Your mind is so far away you do not see the path light up or hear the roar of one of the vans as it passes you and screeches to a halt. The back doors open and Felix gets out, angry.
“I told you to get in the van!” He takes your arm but you just keep going, stumbling. And if he hadn't of stopped you, you would have just kept walking.
“Freya!” He sees the vacant look in your eyes, shock, and for the first time he is worried. “Freya,” he says more gently.
You look at him. Eyes wide.
“He shot her...he just...shot her...he shot them all. They shouldn't have died. They can't have been his mission, they were just...people...ordinary people...” you say.
“Come on,” Felix says quietly. After all, what more can he say?
He takes your arm and pulls you to the back of the van and you stumble again; he catches you and pushes you into the van but you hit your knees on the floor and Jason has to come forward to pull you in all the way.
Felix jumps in behind you, and knocks on the side to tell Vadik to drive.
Jason sits you down on the seat opposite the Winter Soldier and you recoil, he fastens your seat belt and then sits down himself next to the Winter Soldier.
Felix sits next to you. You do not know the other two men in the van.
The Winter Soldier takes no notice of you. He sits reloading one of his guns, always ensuring he is armed, that he is always dangerous. He is no longer wearing the mask and goggles.
“Are you all right?” Felix asks you quietly. He is worried about the look in your eyes.
You don't reply. He notices your torn blouse.
“Did they hurt you?” he asks and you know that he means the men.
You don't reply. Instead you stare at the Winter Soldier. He is there, so close, dressed in black like the rest of them, his jacket done up tightly. How many times have you helped him dress in it? His metal arm bearing the red star at the top, his weapons in place, his long hair falling over his face as he reloads and then he moves back to put the gun in his belt and you see his face.
You know that face so well. The eyes which at the moment are black pits and he needs a shave, there is a scratch on his cheek, and then suddenly he is looking at you.
You lean forward.
“You killed a fifteen year old girl back there when you didn't need to,” you say between gritted teeth.
His expression doesn't change.
“Did you hear me?” you ask.
He looks at you for a moment.
“Yes,” he says simply.
You recoil. What did you expect? Remorse?
“You could have let them all live,” you say.
“They were in the way of the shot,” he says.
Felix puts his hand on yours. What you don't know is that, if the prostitutes had lived, then the clear-up crew with the team would have taken them down anyway. That's what the other two men with them are for, clean up duty.
You have lived through war, seen the carnage, the waste of life. You have lived through what they did to James Barnes to turn him into this soldier. But you can't understand why Lisa had to die, why the others had to. All because someone somewhere wanted other people dead.
You move your hand away from Felix and look away.
The rest of the journey is made in silence.
It takes hours to get back to base and when you do they take the Winter Soldier off for mission report.
Felix walks with you back to your room. He hasn't looked at you properly so when you enter and put the light on he can see how dishevelled you are and for the first time sees you are injured. The blouse you are wearing bears a large burn mark on the shoulder and he can see it goes through to your skin. There is hardly any blood as the bullet has cauterised the flesh as it skimmed you. It barely hurts.
“I didn't realise,” he says and you shrug.
“I was in the way. If I hadn't moved, I would be dead,” you say and he hears the tightness in your voice.
He closes the door behind you both. He hasn't known you for long but he knows how much you love the man who is the Winter Soldier. He cannot guess what it must of been like for you both back in the forties when it had all started. God, he was even born until the sixties!
“I'm sorry you had to be there. I'm sorry you had to see him like that. He would not have killed you; he recognised you as one of our team. If he hadn't, you would be dead.”
You walk into the kitchen area and sit down at the table. You don't think your legs can hold you up any more.
He follows and sits down.
Your eyes feel heavy and gritty. You feel dirty. You are so tired.
“When you bring him back...” you start your voice quiet, “he is different...he doesn't look the way he did tonight, he was so cold, so unrelenting. I was terrified of him, nothing would have stopped him.”
Felix nods. “I shouldn't tell you this...” he knows there will be people listening, but what he is going to say he feels is all right for you to know. “When we leave here for a mission he changes, it is all to do with his programming. He is not the...man you know...nothing else is in his mind. It is his mission and that is all, he has to get it completed, it is what drives him, its what they want. Then when it's over, you see him for a short time if you are his exit point. He is winding down by then. Then we come back and he goes for mission report and that...” he looks around for the word, “kind of...resets him...once he has reported, the information is no longer there for him to access. His mind seems to undergo some change. When he comes back to you he doesn't know if there were civilian casualties, he doesn't know how many people he has killed. All he knows is his mission was completed.”
You look at Felix. Really, deep down you know this.
Mission Report is a failsafe.
“Look. Have a shower, get cleaned up. I'll try and delay him coming back, give you time to be by yourself.” Felix gets up. It's been a long day and you can see the tiredness in his eyes.
He nods to you and then walks to the door and opens it.
“Felix,” you say.
He looks back at you.
“I will never go on any other missions, do you understand? I don't mind being there for the exit but...you will not use me ever again. Do you understand? Never,” there is steel in your voice.
“I hear you,” he says, and goes to say something else but changes his mind.
If only that could be true, he thinks, if only I were in the position to promise her that.
“Goodnight,” he says, and closes the door behind him.
You look around the room. You feel as if, once again, your life has changed. You feel so empty, so hollow.
The Winter Soldier comes back just after 3am. You thought you would be asleep but you are not.
Thoughts keep going around and around in your mind: the laughter of the group of people when William drove you to the house. Lisa telling you her dreams of a better future. Your own naivete and how stupid you were.
But each time your thoughts come back to him and that is when you cry. James would hate to see what he had become. When he starts to regain his memories each time, when he starts to remember who you really are there is such a sadness in him. He used to have terrible nightmares after each mission and you realise now that he doesn't have them so frequently. Is that when they changed his mission reports? To stop those memories surfacing in his subconscious dreams?
What if one day he remembers it all? It would tear him apart.
You are curled up in your own bed and you have left his lamp on. You have made up your mind that you will sleep on your own bed tonight, something you have not done since you came to this base. You hear the door open and close and you turn over to look at him. He is stood by his bed. He was expecting to see you in it. He turns to look at you, stands there, doesn't move, and you can't ignore him, cannot ignore the look on his face, in his eyes. You get up and go over to him. You want to hate him but you can't. This isn't the same man that was in that hellish room with you; this one is still cold, still distant, but there is no violence in him.
He is tired you can see it in his eyes. He is always this way. The mission uses so much adrenaline, the mission report drains him further, and now you know why.
You suggest he takes a shower whilst you get him a drink but he shakes his head to the drink and instead takes your hand and leads you to the bathroom with him. You start to undress him. His jacket will need cleaning; there are dried blood and sweat stains, and his trousers are in the same state.
You start the shower whilst he takes off his underwear and then you take off your nightdress and get in with him. You know he doesn't want you there for sex. He wants the company, wants to feel you wash him down, help get him get clean, this has happened many times before.
You have to stand on tip toe to help wash his hair, and then you soap the sponge and glide it over his body and as you do you feel his muscles relax. You need to wipe down the metal arm and the plates. The cloth you use is covered in blood at the end of it. Other people's blood. You try not to think about it.
Afterwards you help dry each other and not a word has been spoken. You put the light out in the bathroom and follow him back to his bed. Both of you collapse into it. You are barely awake and he curls up besides you and is asleep in minutes.
You don't think you will sleep but you do because hours later you are woken by the Winter Soldier's nightmares and you have to shake him awake. His skin is slick with sweat, his hair wet, heat radiating off his body and you hear him actually call your name.
He comes awake fast, clutching for you, holding on so tight as if he can't believe you are there.
“Hey, it's okay,” you say, quietly, as you stroke his hair and try to calm him.
“I nearly killed you. I thought I had killed you...how?” he stutters looking into your eyes, his hands still clutching at you.
“No you didn't, I'm here. It's just a bad dream, that's all.”
You kiss his forehead and he looks over your face then your body and you see the crease between his eyes when he sees the mark on your shoulder where his bullet scraped you.
You see where he is looking.
“Just a small burn. An accident I had...” you can't lie to him, but you can omit the truth.
He seems to relax and now it is his turn to stroke your hair and kiss your forehead.
“We both need to sleep, come on, lie down,” you say quietly, curling back down under the covers, and this time he takes you in his arms and you are both asleep in minutes.
*
Felix reports to Alex Pierce that the mission was a success but mentions your reluctance to be used for future missions other than for exit points.
Pierce looks at him for a long minute. “If I decide she is to be used for missions then she will be used...do I make myself clear?” his voice is tight, authoritative.
“Sir,” Felix nods.
Pierce looks at him. “If she is going to be a problem, let me know. Understand?”
“Sir,” Felix nods again.
Pierce dismisses him and he is glad to get away.
He hates this goddamn job sometimes.
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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant