Hanging By A Moment

Hanging By A Moment
Chapter 6: Sharing A Moment

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As Scott and Jean walked along the busy blocks of the city of Bayville, they shared the feeling of relaxing comfort of being around one another without worrying about having to say the right things or acting a certain way. They were just being themselves and the more they did this, the more right it felt. While neither of them could really understand it at the moment, they were quickly establishing a connection.

Jean continued to lead him along the streets she knew very well now after having lived in this area for nearly three years towards the movie theater. Being that it was near the end of summer, there wasn’t a very good chance that anything decent playing. However, the night was too young to simply end at this point. But as soon as they got to the movie theater…They were met with a little problem.

“Oh shit…” said Jean.

“You said it…” said Scott in agreement.

Outside the theater, a line stretching nearly half the length of the block had formed and from the looks of it, there wasn’t much movement. There were signs posted everywhere proclaiming things like ‘sold out’ or ’45 minute wait.’ It was a rather unfortunate development for the both of them, given that Jean knew it was never usually like this.

“I almost forgot that they were having an exclusive screening of that new Quentin Tarentino movie this weekend,” groaned Jean, “If I’d have known that I’d have planned around it. Sorry Scott.”

“Hey, its okay,” assured Scott, “I guess we’ll just have to find something else to do. Any ideas?”

Jean stood by and thought for a brief moment about what to do next. It wasn’t even midnight yet and it was way too soon to simply end the date here, not when it was going so well. There was only so much that could be done at this hour. She briefly considered going to a bar or something, but they had just eaten and she wanted this date to remain sober. There were other things like pool halls, concert halls, and bowling alleys…But neither of them seemed hardly appropriate for a first date.

Then as Jean looked back at the young man standing before her, awaiting a response…An idea suddenly came to her and a slow smile spread across her face.

“I know where we can go next,” she said with a grin as she took his arm and led him away from the theater, “Come on! Just follow me.”

“Where are we going?” asked Scott, a little surprised, yet intrigued, at Jean’s sudden shift in enthusiasm.

“It’s a surprise!” said Jean, feeling optimistic about her idea, “Just trust me Scott. You might like it, but if you don’t…”

“Don’t worry…I’m sure I’ll like it,” said Scott, “You’ve already proven to have a knack for making good decisions on this date.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence,” smiled Jean, “I just hope you don’t think it’s too dorky when you see it.”

“Well I guess we won’t know that until we get there, won’t we?” replied Scott as he let Jean guide him once more down the streets of Bayville.

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As Jean let Scott along a few blocks of crowded people, they soon came upon quieter surroundings. The sidewalks Jean had taken were gradually leading away from the denser part of the city to the more tranquil park area not far from the campus. At this hour, there weren’t a whole lot of people there other than a few who had come out to walk their dogs. But it wasn’t the park where Jean wanted to lead him…It was a place a within the park. It was a place Jean often came to get away from it all when college, parents, or life in general became too stressful and she needed a break from it all. She didn’t know exactly what had led her to bring Scott here since she hadn’t brought any of her other dates in the past to this area before, but with little else to do there seemed to be few other choices. She just hoped he didn’t find this place boring or lame. But from what she had learned about him in the short time she had gotten to know him, he didn’t seem like that kind of guy. He was different…And she truly didn’t know what to expect from him.

Finally, they arrived through a narrow path off the main sidewalk and Jean led the young man up a small hill that overlooked the beautiful campus of the Xavier Academy and the city of Bayville as well.

“Here we are…” announced Jean as she showed him the view she so often sought solstice in, “It’s not a movie…But it’s somewhat similar.”

“Wow…” said Scott as he took in the view, “So what is this place?”

“Just somewhere I come when I need to get away,” said Jean as she took a seat in the soft grass, “Whenever things get too rough or stressed in one way or another…I just come up here and put it all behind me even if it is for just one moment.”

“Not bad,” said Scott as he took a seat next to her, “I remember having a place like this back home in Alaska in my back yard. It had everything this place has…Solitude, comfort, and a great view. You really know how to pick a good place Jean.”

Scott moved in closer to the beautiful redhead as they both sat under the shining stars in the sky. Jean in turn, leaned against him…Glad that he too appreciated the presence of a nice, quiet setting in a calm, secluded place. Life in college wasn’t all fun and games, for stress was always a given. It was only a matter how to deal with that stress that determined how stable one’s mind was. And at a place like this, Jean had always managed to find a balanced calm in the dynamic world of college life.

“You know…With all the shit that goes on in my life, sometimes it’s good to just get away from it all,” mused Jean as she brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her arms, “If I didn’t have this little place here…I’d have probably gone crazy a long time ago.”

“I know what you mean…” said Scott as he leaned back on his arms and watched the glowing lights of Bayville in the distance, “You can have all the luck and fortune in the world, but in the end everybody still needs time to simply get their head straight. After I lost my family…I had to deal with a lot of hard things. And in some ways…I’m still dealing with them.”

Upon the mention of his parents, Scott fell silent as his gaze shifted back up towards the stars. For Jean, this was the second time he had mentioned his parents’ death. She had not forced him to go into detail about it, but she had to admit she was curious. Even though he had been nice enough not to pester her about her problems, it was still something Jean was eager to know. Scott had come to prove himself to be a kind, unique, noble person with his experience as a soldier and his troubles with his childhood. How did he manage to become this person despite such tragedy? Had they not tainted him as the tragedies in Jean’s life had tainted her?

Jean argued with herself for a minute, wondering if she should ask and whether or not it would be appropriate. However, in the end her ever curious nature won out.

“Scott…What exactly happened to your parents that was so hard for you to talk about?” asked Jean.

Scott turned back towards her, not looking as though he wanted to answer. It showed a bit of stubbornness on his part, but Jean tried not to let that little annoyance get in her way.

“Why do you want to know? Is it just curiosity?” asked Scott, not sounding as though he thought such a reason was justified.

Jean bit her lip, for she had hoped for a better response. She may have been no stranger to men, but she was still no expert in communicating with them and Scott was no exception. She wondered if she was wrong in bringing this up again when he had clearly showed earlier that it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. But then again…If she was going to justify her asking of the question, she would have to think of a better reason. At first she hesitated to put her desire to know into the right words, but then something else came to mind.

“No…Not entirely,” she finally answered, “I just…Want to know how…I want to know how someone that went through a loss like that could turn into a nice guy like you. And I’ll tell you what…If you tell me about it, then I’ll tell you the main reason why I became such a black sheep and an outcast to my family. Deal?”

Scott had to think about this notion for a minute and it took him longer to do so than he thought. He never liked getting personal about anything with anybody and he had just met this girl. Scott had always been one to value his privacy and was often hesitant to compromise it. Never the less, he did have to admit he too was curious about the inconsistencies of her life that Jean had told her and if he told her, then he would in turn learn himself. But still…It was not an easy choice.

“I…Don’t know if I want to get too in depth on the first date,” said Scott, scratching the back of his neck, “I don’t want too many people to know about my private life.”

“I understand Scott, trust me…” assured Jean quickly, “And if you’re worried about me blabbing about it to anyone, you can trust me 100 percent that I will take whatever you say to the grave with me. I may be a free spirit…But I’m not the kind of person who betrays the trust of others. Just ask anybody who knows me.”

“No…It’s not that,” said Scott, “I just…It brings back a lot of painful memories that I’ve been trying to deal with for a long time.”

Jean moved in closer to him and rested her body against his, lending him her warmth as a sign of assurance.

“I understand Scott…Maybe more than you think,” said Jean, “But if you don’t want to tell me…That’s okay. We can just forget I said anything and move on, I promise.”

Scott then turned his head and looked deeply into her emerald green eyes. He looked thoroughly into the young woman’s expression, not seeing any hint of dishonesty in her. Her tone was steady and understanding…Her face was peaceful and non-threatening. That…And there was something else about her…Something he could not read even with his keen observation skills. Part of that inability to see was somewhat frustrating to Scott, who thought he could read looks on the faces of others quite well…But this didn’t seem to work with Jean. He had been in a war zone for two long years…Having to keep many things locked up inside him for the sake of duty and honor. But this wasn’t a battlefield and Jean didn’t seem like some inconsiderate prick who wouldn’t take what he said seriously. Perhaps…It would help if he talked about it. His foster parents had always encouraged it, but until now he never thought he had anybody to share it with besides them. He didn’t know if Jean could be one of those lucky few, but he wouldn’t find out for sure until he tried.

“No…Maybe I should,” said Scott, breaking the silence, “It’s been…Long enough keeping it inside. I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not laugh, scoff, or think it’s stupid.”

“Come on Scott,” said Jean as she gave him a reassuring smile, “Haven’t I shown you by now that I’m not that kind of person? Don’t worry…I promise.”

Scott smiled back and simply nodded in response.

“Okay…Here goes,” he said as he took a deep breath, “Well, like I said, I was born in Alaska and I lived there in a pretty nice suburban neighborhood for the first part of my childhood. And it was a great place and my parents were wonderful people. But it took only one day…One moment for everything to change. And I’ll never forget that moment…No matter how long I live I’ll never forget it.”

Jean listened intently as Scott took a deep breath and prepared to tell her the story he knew all too well.

“It all started when my dad flew us all up to a lake where we had a cabin that we stayed at every summer. We rode in this old, propeller driven plane with water skids to land on the lake just like we had many times before and it all went well. It was a really fun trip…But it was the return flight where it all changed. While I’m not sure exactly what happened…There was this freak storm that had formed out of nowhere and it caused the plane to hit some turbulence, but my dad was a great pilot and he had flown through bad weather before, so I wasn’t scared and neither was my little brother. Then suddenly…Within the span of a single fraction of a second, I felt this jolt just rock the whole plane. I remember it was so big that it nearly threw me out of my seat. Then it got only worse…I started to smell smoke.”

Scott paused for a moment, taking his time with the next part. Jean’s gaze remained focused on him, showing that she was listening intently and had no inclination to do otherwise. She patiently waited for him to continue, not pushing him to go on. But Scott had said he would tell her and he intended to follow through on that. It was just going to be very hard recalling something he hadn’t talked about in quite some time.

“My mom only managed to save two parachutes…” he said softly, swallowing the lump in his throat as he went on, “At first I didn’t know what was going on, but after the plane started shaking and the smoke started getting thicker…I started to realize just what was happening. Alex, my little brother, was only five and I was just seven…We were just little kids. We had no idea how serious it truly was…Until they started frantically strapping the parachutes on us. At this point, I could see the engine outside catching fire…And it was then I knew what my mother and father were doing.”

“Oh my God…” said Jean, trying to picture what that must have been like for a seven year old boy.

“He then opened the hatch and I swear it must have been 50 degrees below zero outside…But I can vividly remember my dad taking me and my brother and saying ‘Look boys…I know you’re scared…But I’m going to need you both to be very brave and jump.’ I swear…I didn’t want to go. I started crying, but my dad just shook me and said ‘Please Scott…I know it’s a lot to ask of you…But I need you to look after your little brother. Be strong my boys…I know you can do it.’ I kept crying and telling him that I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want to leave him and my mom behind…But they kept urging me and Alex on…Assuring us that they would be okay when they knew that they were going to die. I remember embracing my mother and father one last time as the plane started plummeting even faster. They kept saying how much they loved us and how proud they were…I swear it was the hardest thing anybody ever could have done. In the end…Alex and I managed to jump just as the whole plane exploded into a fireball.”

Scott paused once more as he vividly remembered that moment, every sound and sight engraved into his mind in perfect detail. Jean actually felt him shiver in the balmy August night as he recalled the cold Alaskan air that night. At this point, Jean thought that maybe she should let him stop, but Scott kept going.

“While we were falling…I remember holding by brother’s hand,” he recalled, “But I knew we had to separate in order to deploy our parachutes. I had every intention of doing what my dad had told me in looking after Alex…But I guess fate had a different plan for me that day.”

“What happened?” said Jean, not knowing how it could get much worse.

Scott had to swallow another lump as he struggled to keep the air flowing in his lungs. This had been a lot harder than he thought it would be, but still he pressed on.

“When our parachutes deployed, our decent was finally slowed. While they both worked…The explosion from the plane had caused flaming debris to set fire to Alex’s parachute. I…I saw the smoke coming from the top, but I didn’t know what was going on until his decent started accelerating again. Even from where I was…I could see the fear in his eyes as he started to fall. He started crying and the last thing I remember…Is him screaming my name until he fell out of sight.”

Scott’s head then lowered in a solemn gesture as he remembered that horrible sight. No words in existence could ever truly describe how awful it was. To this day it still haunted him and he doubted it would ever stop hanging strongly over his mind. But no matter how much it hurt…He would never forget. He felt he owed as much to Alex and his parents.

“There was no way he could have survived…” he managed barely as he forced himself to continue, “For me…I don’t really remember what happened next. It all…Gets kind of fuzzy afterwards. But later on I learned that I had been in a coma for three months. I was the only survivor…I know because that was one of the first things my doctor told me. At first I thought it was all a dream…A nightmare that I would wake up from at any moment. But no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to believe otherwise…I knew it was real…And there was no going back. What happened…Couldn’t be changed. My mom, my dad, and my little brother were all dead…And to this day I still have troubles accepting that. Even though I later learned that they had recovered the bodies…I still can’t quite get over it…And I doubt I ever truly will.”

Jean was left speechless by his overwhelming story. She hadn’t met a lot of people from where she was from who had been through something like that in life. And not only had Scott been through that, he had survived it. She may have just met him, but she could tell a lot about him just from what he had told her thus far.

“My God…That is so sad,” she said, unable to think of anything other words to describe it.

“I never said I was finished…” added Scott.

“You mean…There’s more?” said Jean, not knowing how it could get much worse.

“Oh yeah…Plenty,” he said, prepared to continue his story to the bitter end, “You see…After I came out of my coma, I officially became a ward of the state. Since I didn’t have any family to take care of me, I got sent to an orphanage…Which wasn’t too uplifting to say the least.”

“I don’t see how it could be,” commented Jean, before forcing herself to fall silent again and listen to more of his story.

“It was pretty bad…” mused Scott as he remembered those darker times, “I had to share a room with five other boys, the whole house wasn’t in the best of shape, and the people who ran it were horribly corrupt. And being a young, traumatized little boy who barely ever spoke didn’t really boost my chances for adoption. I remember people looking at me as if I was some broken toy…And nobody wants to adopt someone like that.”

Jean watched the look on his face shift once more, for it had been a while since Scott had allowed himself to think about this. Being a marine and fighting in a war had been a great way to distract himself from some of the darker points in his life that he still wasn’t completely over. But there was still more left to tell and Scott was determined to finish as Jean listened on.

“Eventually, I was adopted after a few months by a rather ‘shady’ guy who moved me to New York,” he continued as he got to yet another part of his life he didn’t like talking about, “I don’t know how the hell this guy ever was allowed to adopt a child, but like I said…The orphanage I was from was full of corruption.”

“How bad was he?” asked Jean wearily, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

“Pretty bad,” he answered, “He was an ex convict and a thief. He recruited me because I would bring in child support money from the state and I was too weak to defend myself against him…So he had pretty much all the control over me he wanted. We lived in a shitty apartment not far from Rochester where I had to live in this bedroom with no windows that was about the size of a broom closet. That alone was bad enough, but the man, John something…Was worse. He came home drunk all the time, forced me to steal things and help him hurt others, and beat the living shit out of me whenever he could.”

“Oh my…” said Jean, unable to get out any more.

To lose his entire family right before his eyes was one thing…But to endure child abuse was something else completely. Yet here he was talking about it with someone he barely knew. Jean didn’t know why he was telling her this…She didn’t think she could possibly have that kind of strength. But for some reason, he was…And there was no going back on it.

“It hurt…Believe me it hurt,” said Scott, “So I ran away…And I survived by myself on the streets. I didn’t want to go back to the orphanage because if I did, they would have just sent me back to my foster home. And trust me…It’s not easy out there when you’re barely ten and trying to find some way of surviving.”

Jean didn’t know what to say in response to something like this. She didn’t know what she could say…She couldn’t even imagine going through such a horrible ordeal. After meeting him, Jean never would have guessed someone to be as complicated as he was. For all the people she had known, Scott had to have been the first to come from such a horrible background…Yet he turned into such a wonderful man.

“I ended up playing a guitar on street corners for loose change at one point,” he went on as he remembered the dark times that were forever engraved into his memory, “There were so many times when I wanted to just keel over and die…But I just kept going. Then…One day…Everything changed.”

“Really? What happened?” asked Jean, curious as to how he managed to have such a dramatic turnaround.

Scott just shook his head and smiled at the recollection of that fateful moment. He may not have been a very religious person, but he always believed that there was some higher power out there watching out for him that day…And he would never forget it.

“It seemed simple enough,” he began, “I was playing my guitar on the street, watching people pass me by, you know…Nothing special. Then at one point…This big, burly man walks up and just stops in front of me. At first I really didn’t notice, but after a while…I began to get a little anxious, so I stopped playing. But the man just looked at me and said ‘Don’t stop…Its really good.’ I didn’t know what to make of it at first but…I kept on playing anyways. And after I finished the song, he reached into his wallet and pulled out ten dollars and gave it to me. I didn’t know what to say at first but…He just smiled at me and left before I could do anything else. Later that day…I had a run in with the cops for stealing a loaf of bread. I tried to get away, but I wasn’t as lucky this time and I got sent back to the orphanage. And as fate would have it…The day I got back, the couple that would later become my foster parents were there…And the man who saw and chose me, was the very same man who gave me that ten dollars earlier that day. After that…I finally had a family again. And it all happened in the span of one day…That’s it. Just one simple day turned it all around…”

As Scott thought about it, the story of his life seemed surreal in a sense. He often tried to push it towards the back of his mind…Yet in actually letting it surface for a change, it didn’t feel as hard. Maybe telling Jean about all this was a sign that he was long overdue for something like this…A chance to come to terms with his past. Jean had listened intently to every word and leaned in closer to him, seeing that he was not as tense now. In a way she felt somewhat…Special, for Scott trusting her with the knowledge of his life. She knew it couldn’t have been easy, yet he had told her even thought he barely knew her. Jean hadn’t expected him to open up like that, but she was definitely glad that he did. Knowing him like this made her feel somewhat closer to him and more comfortable in his presence. He was no longer just some guy she picked up in a night club, but a man she had met and connected with.

“That’s…Truly an amazing story Scott,” said Jean, not knowing what else to say, “I’m…Honored that you actually told me about things that must be difficult for you to talk about.”

“I needed to get that off my chest anyways…Thanks for listening,” said Scott with a smile, causing Jean to blush slightly.

“Well…I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me. I enjoyed it,” admitted Jean, “And don’t worry…You’re secrets are 100 percent safe with me. I won’t tell a soul…You have my word.”

“That’s good enough for me,” said Scott.

“I won’t let you down soldier boy,” said Jean, making it clear to him that she was a girl of her word.

Having gotten that off his chest and seeing the positive effect it had on their overall understanding, things between them felt a bit easier. It was by no means the way normal dates went for either of them, but neither of them were complaining as they continued to relish the crisp, clear night. For an unknown amount of time, they just sat there in silence…Feeling comfortable in one another’s presence in this quiet and serine place. Then suddenly, a feeling of curiosity came over Scott as he turned back towards Jean.

“What about you?” he said.

Jean looked back at him, feeling somewhat confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…You said that if I told you about my parents, you’d tell me about why you consider yourself such an outcast and a black sheep to your family.”

Jean felt a certain twinge of uncertainty as she remembered her promise to Scott earlier. Like Scott, it was not something she liked to think about and she hadn’t even spoken about it much in many years. People who were close to her and knew her like Betsy and Kitty were always wise never to bring it up, but there was just so much that they couldn’t understand.

As she looked back at Scott with anxiety apparent in her expression, she thought about how he had opened up to her. Even though he had just met her, he had opened up to her in a way he hadn’t to many other people. Yet in spending time with her, he felt as thought she was someone he could connect with. It wasn’t a matter of ration…It was just a feeling he had. Jean felt the same thing after having told him the extent of her troubled relationship with her family. And maybe…If he felt somewhat better after telling her, then maybe she would feel better as well from telling him. After all…Knowing what he had gone through, if anybody could understand what she felt…It was Scott.

“You’re right…” she said with a sigh, “I did say that. And I guess it’s only fair that I make good on my promise.”

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready,” assured Scott, “I understand if you’re not comfortable telling someone you haven’t known for very long.”

“No Scott…,” said Jean with certainty in her voice, “You opened up to me…The least I can do is open up to you. Just…Don’t expect it to be any easier for me.”

“Don’t worry…I understand,” said Scott as he snaked an arm around her waist, “And trust me…I won’t tell a soul. If I can survive torture endurance training…I can safely keep any secret you tell me. I promise…”

Jean felt a little better upon hearing that as she took a deep breath and prepared to talk about something she had tried to push aside for quite some time now. Now she knew how Scott felt when he told her about his parents, but that only served to assure her that he would understand how she felt and keep her secret.

“Okay…That’s good enough for me,” said Jean, “Like I said earlier…I’m pretty much the black sheep of my family. Ask anybody…They’ll whole heartedly agree with you, so don’t think I’m exaggerating.”

“I’ll take your word for it on that,” said Scott, showing by the look on his face that he was intent on listening.

“And…The thing is, there’s a reason for that,” continued Jean, growing somewhat more morose upon revisiting this long dreaded topic, “And one of the reasons I was so touched by your story was because of what you said about one day changing everything. Just one day…And all the happiness and carefree attitude of childhood is shattered into a million pieces and can never be put back together.”

In this respect, Scott was beginning to understand…But it only served to heighten his curiosity. Jean definitely felt a great deal of anxiousness in talking about this again, be it with Scott or anybody else for that matter. But she was determined to let it out just as Scott had with his life.

“Like you, my early childhood for the most part was happy, joyful, and carefree,” said Jean, wishing she could remember those times more clearly despite the darkness that had always overshadowed them, “My family lived in a nice house, we never had to worry about money, and overall we were close. I loved them like any other child would love their family. But one day…When I was seven, just like you…It all changed. Something bad…Something so bad happened that I wish I could just go back in time and stop it. It…More or less destroyed my childhood…And changed my life forever.”

“What was it?” asked Scott in a deep tone, trying to convey a sense of sincerity to help her get through this.

Jean took a deep breath as she got to the hardest part. For anybody that truly knew her, they would never have denied the significance of that day. And no matter how long she lived or how far she went in life…That one day would always remain etched in her mind as being a great and dark turning point in her life.

“It was my best friend…Annie,” said Jean as she remembered vividly the face of the young girl she had been so close to growing up, “She was my neighbor and we had been friends for as long as I could remember. We practically grew up together…Sharing all those little things that little kids share in the carefree world of childhood. We were close and I always loved playing with her. We were both so young and there were so many things we never thought about as children…But one day, that changed forever.”

Jean then thought back to that beautiful, clear day that she remembered so vividly. Sometimes she would dream about this memory…Sometimes she would just recall it. But no matter how she remembered it, the pain of what happened would always be there.

“We were both playing in the park not far from the edge of the city,” continued Jean as the event once again played before her eyes, “It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day. Nobody would have guessed how horrible it would truly get. For me…It was the last day of my childhood…The last day of my innocence. It was all so normal. Annie and I were just playing soccer like we had done so many times before. We were having a good time, just living up the nice weather when I just happened to kick the ball past her into the street…”

Jean paused for a moment as she swallowed the growing lump in her throat. This next part was the hardest because it was the part that stuck with her the most. Time itself had slowed down at that moment…And every single second of it was burned into her mind. Scott tried to console her by gently hugging her with his strong, warm arms…But it wouldn’t make the next part any easier.

“There were cars parked alongside the road…” she choked out, “I went after her…Laughing and smiling innocently. Then…She ran out from between two cars…And didn’t see a speeding pickup truck coming and then…”

In her memories, Jean saw the horrible image in all its vivid, unfiltered detail. Describing it was something she always struggled with and no matter how hard she tried in all the times she recalled this…She could never find the proper words to truly describe how horrible it was.

“Annie…Couldn’t get out of the way,” she struggled, “And I had to watch that truck hit her…I had to watch her die. At first…I was just so incredibly shocked at what happened that I don’t think it really processed in my mind. I was still so young and it all happened so fast that…I don’t know, maybe I’m still processing it to this day.”

Jean then brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly as she felt a sudden cold sensation run through her body.

“Every thing that happened next was all in this strange, dream like state,” she mused as the memories became more intense, “I remember running over to her…Screaming her name and crying…But when I got there, the truck had already driven away and all I saw was my best friend lying there in the streets…Dying.”

Jean hadn’t talked about this for a long time…Yet it was still just as hard for her. Scott looked at her with an understanding expression on his face as he offered her his hand…Which she accepted as she continued on.

“I held her in my arms the moment she died…” said Jean, unable to keep tears from forming in her eyes as the vivid memory once again flashed before her, “I saw the look on her face…I saw the tears in her eyes. I kept crying out her name…Telling her that she was going to be okay. I saw…How scared she was. But…She died…Right then and there.”

Scott gave her some time to work through the traumatic memories that she had harbored all these years. For so long, she had lived with them, pushing them to the back of her mind. They were always there, yet she never liked showing just how much it hurt to think about it. Such events were things most people never had to deal with in their lives. Like tragedy Scott had suffered, there weren’t many people out there who could understand what effects such a tragedy could have on a person.

“It’s hard…Believe me Jean, I know it’s hard,” said Scott, speaking with both empathy and sympathy.

“And that was only the beginning…” said Jean as she prepared to go into the long, unpleasant events that unfolded afterwards, “Afterwards…I was never the same. Everything that happened afterwards is kind of a blur. I don’t know if I fainted or if I went into shock or something, but it’s all very fuzzy to me now. Either way, it didn’t matter…Because I remembered what it led to. Seven year olds…Just don’t have a concept of death in their lives. The world is still so new…So strange. We all see it in an ideal light. And this was more so for me because I had such an ideal background with my family. But…Seeing death…Witnessing it before my very eyes and holding someone that I was so close to when they died just…It destroyed that child within me…It destroyed it forever.”

“We just take a lot of things for granted in our youth,” commented Scott, “We really don’t know how things work until…Something comes along and shatters everything we think we know.”

With a tired sigh, Jean nodded her head in agreement as the memories of being carefree and happy as a child were just skewed images now of a naïve past.

“And it only got worse,” continued Jean, “You see…My parents didn’t know how to handle me after it happened. I got so depressed and traumatized that…I just couldn’t talk to them anymore and they just couldn’t talk to me. My sister would try to cheer me up, my parents would try to buy me things or do something to make me feel better…But it never did anything. You can’t buy away pain…Although my parents sure as hell tried. I got sent to at least ten different therapists where they treated me for depression and post traumatic stress disorder.”

“And let me guess…They forced you to talk about it again and again while trying to understand something that they had never experienced themselves…Making it worse in the end,” said Scott, speaking from experience.

Jean looked back at him with a certain level of surprise as Scott’s perceptions. Since she first met him, he had shown that he had skill in terms of observing people, but parts of her chalked that up to being a vigilant soldier. However with something like this…It sounded like something more from personal experience. The tragedies he suffered weren’t that different to the ones she had…And part of her took comfort in that.

“Well…You’re right about that,” said Jean as she shook her head in admittance, “At one point, I had to go on some pretty pricey anti-depressants…But I refused to take them because it just made me feel more sad inside. That’s when the fights started…My parents would try to force me to take those pills when I screamed and yelled that I didn’t want to. It got to the point where I…Became a little violent at times with them. Then…One day it all came to ahead when I actually bit my sister for trying to sneak pills into my drink at dinner and screamed at her at the top of my lungs that I hated her. My parents…Always the resourceful type…Called a mental institution. And…They had me thrown away.”

“Oh man…” said Scott, as he tried to imagine a young girl being hauled away from her home, struggling with her sorrow.

“I was only ten…” said Jean, “But I stayed there for an entire summer. It was…Not pleasant to say the least. It was cold…Dark…And very depressing. While I was there, I remembered being so alone…So sad. I must have cried myself to sleep every night while I was there. The doctors…Forced me to take my medications and they gave me drugs to keep me from getting to hysterical. At one point…I wanted to kill myself. I didn’t want to live with this pain. But…I guess it’s funny how life works itself out sometimes.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” asked Scott, sensing something more significant here judging from the tone in her voice.

Jean’s expression lightened somewhat as she remembered what happened next that changed her life once again.

“I guess it’s kind of like the day your foster family found you…But for me, it came to me in the form of a dream,” said Jean, feeling somewhat lighter as she remembered that fateful moment, “I was in the asylum…Crying myself to sleep like usual…When I saw her in a dream…I saw Annie. I’m not sure if it was some effect of the medications or the result of some higher power…But I knew it was her. I remember feeling this warm, comforting feeling come over me when she touched my hand and smiled…As if to say ‘It’s alright.’ I think it was then…When I started to finally learn the kind of things I had to in order to cope with it. It wasn’t easy for a ten year old…But because of that dream, I managed to get through it.”

Scott couldn’t help but smile at the look on her face, for he could tell she was probably reliving that dream right now before her eyes. And ironically, it wasn’t very far from the truth. This story that was the life of Jean Grey was not at all dissimilar to his. It had its ups and its downs…Yet they had survived it and were now here on a quiet ridge sharing it with each other. It was a moment Jean couldn’t help but relish in, for it had been a long time since she had allowed herself to open up. And as much as she hated to admit it…It felt good.

“I guess sometimes simple comfort from something can give a lot of strength in the end,” said Scott, earning him a smile from the beautiful young woman.

“I guess so…But while I managed to balance out my mind, the damage done to the relationship with my family could never be mended,” said Jean as she recalled the long term effects of that nightmarish ordeal, “Even after I stopped taking anti-depressants, my parents and I just fell apart as time went on. I was so deeply changed by that event…I saw the world in such a different way. I had learned of my own mortality at an age where most girls are either building doll houses or dreaming of unicorns. I saw everything as being in such a gray, uncertain area…While my parents had lines and boundaries everywhere. My sister went on to respect those lines while I constantly challenged and argued them. We just…No longer saw eye to eye on anything. I wanted something out of life…They wanted something else for me. They wanted to do one thing…I wanted to do another. They acted one way and adopted one set of ideals…I adopted another.”

“And what ideals would those be?” asked Scott.

“Well…” pondered Jean as she thought about how she would properly describe who she was, “I guess…I see life as an individual quest. In experiencing some very hard things in life…I’ve come to see that there is a lot out there that we don’t understand or think about. There are a lot of things that we take for granted. For me, I believe that life is up to the individual…And we have to just be thankful with what we have been blessed with at birth and not what’s been given to us on a silver platter in life. We need to take in the good times and the bad…But it’s all up to the choices we make. I guess the best way to say it is…We are our own person and the most important part of that is to love who you are.”

“Yeah…I can safely say I think the same way too,” said Scott, feeling somewhat astonished that Jean had been able to sum up something so complex so clearly, “We are all unique no matter what the world tells us. We become who we are based on the experiences we go through, the people we meet, and ideas we hold dear. Tragedy can hurt…You and I are both living testaments to that…But surviving it can make you both stronger and weaker at the same time.”

“Well said soldier boy,” said Jean with a warm smile as she rested her head on his strong shoulder, taking in a warm whiff of his sweet cologne, “I guess the person I grew into wasn’t the person my parents had expected. Over the years, I become more of an outsider to them while they become more distant to me. There are good days and there are bad…But I still have them whether I like it or not. I may never be able to become what they want me to be, but maybe with what I have learned in the past and what I’ve taken in here at the Academy, I can become my own person.”

“Well I think you’ve done a good job so far with that Jean,” said Scott as he looked back at her with his deep blue eyes that made butterflies do cartwheels in her stomach.

“Thanks Scott…” she said as the tone in her voice became warmer and more endearing as she shifted her body so that she was facing him.

Scott soon found himself doing the same as he increasingly drew Jean in with his smile. Slowly, their faces drifted closer and closer until finally, their lips met in a warm, soft kiss. Both Scott and Jean hadn’t expected to talk about such dark things in their respective lives with each other, having only first made contact nearly two days ago. Yet for some reason, they found comfort in sharing something so deep with one another, for they had each found a quality within each other that was true and understanding. They could both relate in ways nobody else could. They came from different worlds…But they had been down the same roads in life and as they continued to kiss in a warm, gentle embrace…They took comfort in one another’s understanding.

“Thank you for listening…” said Jean as she finally managed to part with him, keeping her hands wrapped around his strong neck.

“You did the same for me…The least I could do is return the favor,” said Scott as he hugged her warm body close to his, “And don’t worry…You’re secrets are 100 percent safe with me.”

“I know they are,” said Jean, still smiling at the sensations his touch was giving her, “It just…It really felt good to get that off my chest after all these years. I can’t remember the last time I actually talked to somebody about it.”

“Yeah…It’s easier when you tell it to someone who understands,” said Scott, “We’ve both been through our own personal hell…But we’re still here. We’re still alive.”

“And oh what a joy it is,” grinned Jean as she began to trace kisses along his face once again.

No words were spoken as they once again found themselves in the throws of passionate kisses. Hands once again roamed as part of Jean’s mind entertained the notion of ripping his clothes off then and there and having sex with him right on this secluded ridge. And if the grip his hands around her hips and butt were any indication…He was thinking the same thing. Yet despite this desire, they kept their passions warm and mutual…Simply relishing in the unique warmth they could offer each other.

Scott Summers and Jean Grey had met one another not knowing what surprises would be in store for them. Yet in the span of a simple date, they managed to connect with each other in a way many other people would find difficult to ascertain. Yet to the two youths, they didn’t have to understand it…They simply relished in it as their kisses gradually receded and they passed the time simply sitting back and watching the stars.

“This has been a really nice night Scott,” said Jean as she turned to face him once again and entwined her hand with his, “I had a really great time. Thank you for letting me get to know you…And for understanding me.”

“You’re very welcome,” said Scott respectfully, “Thank you too for making this such a wonderful date. I can honestly say I’ve never had one like this before. We just met each…Yet we already know each other so well.”

“I know…Its kind of scary, isn’t it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go so far to say that it was scary,” said Scott, “But it’s definitely…Interesting.”

Jean couldn’t help but laugh somewhat as they both felt a gentle breeze blow over the hills and send a brief shiver through each of their bodies.

“Well…It’s getting late,” said Scott, “Want to call it a night?”

With a tired sigh, Jean felt that maybe it was time to head out. It was around midnight now and they had been at this place for nearly three hours. Neither of them wanted to end the night…But the incessant flow of time was working against them as they both stood up and stretched their limbs.

“I guess we should,” said Jean, “While the movie didn’t work out…Everything else sure did.”

“Even more than I could have expected,” said Scott as he wrapped his arms around Jean’s waist once again and pulled her into a kiss.

Once again, they found themselves in a warm embrace. As profound as this night had been on the both of them, it was still symbolized in but a few simple gestures. And while the date itself was nearly officially over…The night itself was not.

“You know…You showed me your apartment last night Jean,” said Scott as a slow, suggestive smile spread across his face, “I don’t think I’ve shown you mine.”

“No…I don’t think you have Mr. Summers,” said Jean as she smiled back at his husky expression, “Care to lead the way this time?”

“I’d be more than happy to Ms. Grey…”

And with that, the two youths headed back onto the sidewalk as they made their way back to the downtown area near the campus where Scott’s apartment was waiting for them.

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AN: Well, that’s it for now! I know this chapter was more emotional and fluffy compared to the other ones, but I felt it was necessary to show Scott and Jean connect, planting the seeds of a deeper relationship in the future. And don’t worry, there’s still plenty more to come! The next chapter should get back to the sexy stuff and there will be plenty more to come in terms of development! Thank you all very much for reading this and remember…Don’t forget to review! Send you’re comments to me directly via email at slickboy444@aol.com or post them on the fanfiction website! Thanks again everybody and I wish you all the best!