Adult-FanFiction.org : Marvel 'Verse

Damaged Bodies, Growing Lives, Building Families	By : StarLightMassacre Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 20994 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Harry Potter, Avengers or the Marvel universe; all rights go to J. K. Rowling, Marvel and Stan Lee. I make no money for this piece of fictional writing and never will.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Last Time

“Of course there are two, non-negotiable conditions.” Fury told him at the door. “Number one is that you see the agency psychiatrist and the second is that you move into Stark Tower for a while, I won’t have you left vulnerable to be abducted again, not until I’m sure the people responsible for this are caught.”

Then the Director was gone, leaving him in a room full of people he didn’t know, even if he did know their names, to be fussed over by nurses with his stomach heavy and leaden. The very last thing he wanted was to see a psychiatrist and he didn’t want to live with a bunch of super heroes either, he wanted his own bed, his own stuff and his own space, but he also wanted his job.
Sighing heavily, Harry allowed the nurses to carefully hook him back up to the IV’s he had ripped out in panic, settling back as a doctor came over to check him over, doing all sorts of tests now that he was awake. It didn’t last long, he was calm now, he knew where he was, he knew he was safe, as soon as he settled into the pillow he was asleep once again.

Chapter Four – Moving In and Meditating

Harry was in and out of sleep a lot over the next few weeks as he remained in the med bay. He saw a lot of Steve Rogers, Captain America, who liked sitting by his bedside over those few weeks.
The first time Harry had opened his eyes and saw the large blonde sat next to him he had yelled out and jumped in horror. Of course the other Avengers were there visiting their injured teammate and Tony Stark just found his reaction to Steve hilarious.
Steve’s excuse was that he wanted Harry to get to know them if he was going to be moving in with them, it was a nice thought, but waking up to a near stranger sat over him hiked his heart rate up for the first few times that it happened and frankly scared the shit out of him, but Harry had come to expect the large blonde man to be sat next to him now, it no longer bothered him.
Slowly but surely he got to know the Avengers, some of them were easier to like than others and everything about Thor was just strange, from his name, to his way of speaking, to how he liked dressing when not forced to dress normally, but Harry liked Thor, even though S.H.I.E.L.D had officially classed him as an ‘alien’ and he liked that he wasn’t normal even if it did bring up memories of the wizarding world and how the magical people had dressed for the Quidditch world cup.
The only Avenger Harry felt really strange around was Clint and he didn’t know why. He had been told that Clint was the one to rescue him, had been the one to put his life in danger, going into that building on his own, with no backup, knowing that the building was full of dangerous people, hell he had been fucking shot four times, just to get Harry out. He didn’t understand.
Then, Harry’s understanding and clarity had been all but ruined, he didn’t know if it was stress, a coping mechanism or something fucked up in his brain from the amount of torture he had gone through, but the more he tried to figure out, the less he remembered.
He had asked, he had even asked Clint himself, but the man just apologised, very sincerely, and left the med bay quickly, leaving Harry so confused, did the man regret saving him?

“Are you alright?”

Harry blinked and looked up at Steve, who sat next to him in the perfectly normal chair that he made look fragile and delicate.

“Every time I think I’m getting better I realise that I’ve forgotten something else.”

“You are getting better Harry.” Steve told him. “You went through something so horribly horrific that most people would have given in, but you didn’t. It’s natural that your mind doesn’t want to hold onto such terrible things, maybe you’d be best letting them go.”

“You sound like the psychiatrist.” Harry grumbled good naturedly.

Steve gave him a kind smile. “Are you excited to be moving in with us tomorrow?”

“I’m still not sure living with a bunch of misfits is a good idea.” Harry smiled tiredly.

“You hear that? Misfits he calls us, after we save his life.”

Harry gave Tony a look, before smiling. He unconsciously rubbed his chest, over his sliced nipple. The stitches had come out, but he had a lot of scars, he couldn’t wait to get a salve to help get rid of them, it would have to be a weak one though, he couldn’t let on that he was magical, though now that he was being watched so closely by government agents and a bunch of superheroes he wasn’t sure any magical healing salve was a good idea, but he couldn’t live with so many reminders on his own body, he just couldn’t, so he was going to take the risk and hope they didn’t lock him in a cell and wipe his existence from the face of the Earth so no one ever found him.

“You’re pale again; maybe you should sleep a bit more.” Steve fretted.

“I’m fine, honestly Steve. I’ve liked catching up on sleep, but too much makes me feel worse.”

Steve looked worried again and Harry smiled and tried to sit up. He failed on his first two attempts and waved Steve away when he tried to help sit him up. He managed it on his fifth attempt with gritted teeth. His doctors and nurses didn’t call him ‘ridiculously stubborn’ for no good reason.

“Have you found anything out about the people who did this?” Harry asked mildly, as he always did when any of them came visiting, which was pretty much every day, even though Clint had made his escape from the med bay the week before.

“I’m sorry Harry, nothing.”

Harry frowned at the same answer he always got and something niggled in his brain.

“Are you lying to me?” He asked softly, his voice light and non-accusing.

Steve blushed ten shades of red and all of them shared a look and Harry knew he had been right, they were lying to him, they knew something.

“Contrary to what you might believe, I’m not stupid you know, no matter what I might have gone through, I can tell when I’m being lied to, but I trusted you all to not lie to me so I brushed it off and it turns out you have lied to me.”

“Tony found the recorded footage of what happened to you on one of the laptops recovered from the abandoned warehouse.” Bruce told him. Harry liked Bruce, even if he did make him slightly edgy and uncomfortable.

Harry nodded. “I knew they were recording everything, right from the beginning. The camera was near enough right in my face. That and they had to have some way to know every time I closed my eyes for longer than a blink.”

“How you dealt with what they did to you, it was almost unreal.” The only woman, Natasha, told him stony faced.

“It’s called stubbornness. I have plenty.” Harry answered stiffly.

“Plenty of stubborn men have cracked under the level of torture inflicted on you.”

“I’m not most men!” Harry snapped. He regretted it immediately as his leg jerked out and sent a spasm through his entire body that had him clutching at it in agony. Two weeks and it still hadn’t stopped doing that. It wasn’t exactly getting worse, but it wasn’t getting any better either.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Steve! I’m fine.” Harry breathed deeply, shoving the duvet off of his body and staring at the heavily bandaged leg that was causing all of the problems. He gripped it on either side of his kneecap and growled at it.

“That’s going to help.” Tony couldn’t help but quip.

“It makes me feel better.” Harry refused to admit that he was pouting, but the indulgent smiles he got clued him in otherwise, they thought of him as nothing but a cute little Omega when he did adorable things like trying to growl like an Alpha, when he scowled or glared and pouted. He huffed and turned back to his leg, he could see the muscle twitching under the skin, even under the tight, heavy bandage. He wanted to hit his own leg, but the last time he had Thor had pinned him down and held him still for over an hour and his personal psychiatrist had made it so he was never left alone to ‘exhibit his destructive behaviour on himself’.

He wasn’t self-destructive; he wasn’t suicidal or waiting for an opportunity to hurt or kill himself. He wasn’t, he was just rightfully frustrated. He was stuck in a bed, his body was broken, his mind wasn’t working like he wanted it to and he was kept in the dark about the very operation that had surrounded him, but not only being kept in the dark anymore, he was actively being lied to! If they were lying about this, then what else were they lying about? He knew they had made some breakthroughs and had information, but they weren’t telling him. Why weren’t they telling him? Hadn’t he proven himself trustworthy already?
Harry growled again in frustration and his fingers dug into his leg muscles as they contracted painfully. As his leg jerked out again, Harry lost patience and gave in, hitting his own leg with the side of his fist, he went to do it again only for Steve to catch his hand and held it between both of his own.
Harry lost it and foolishly tried to fight Steve off, he ended up being pinned to the bed, breathing heavily and glaring up at concerned blue eyes as a nurse who had seen everything hurried over with a syringe filled with a sedative.

“If you put that into me I’m going to be furious.” He hissed. “I’ve slept too much already; I don’t want to be sedated!”

Steve held him more securely as the nurse came up to his bedside with the needle full of clear liquid.

“I’ll never forgive you for this Steve.” Harry told him icily calm, glaring up at those blue eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Steve told him softly as the sedative was injected into his IV line.

“No you’re not. Not yet.” Harry trailed off, his eyes becoming heavy as he was sucked under the effects of the drug, fighting until the last moment; the last thing he saw was Steve’s pained expression, then nothing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- X

“I feel awful.” Steve said sadly as he combed soft fingers through a sleeping Harry’s thick hair.

“He’s becoming immune to the sedative; it’ll only keep him under for an hour.” The nurse told them before moving to dispose of the needle.

“Have you found out if he’s pregnant or not yet?” Clint asked, his eyes glued to the little Omega in the bed.

“Nothing is showing up.”

“Is it too soon, or do you think he might not be pregnant?”

“It could be either, due to changes in hormones, it is usually easier to tell with male Omegas due to the increased amounts of oestrogen if they’re pregnant, but Harry’s body always seems to be full of adrenaline trying to fight off the sedative, which confuses the tests we apply to check his hormone levels. His body really doesn’t like the sedative being in his system.”

“Don’t you think we should tell him that he could potentially be pregnant?” Bruce asked calmly.

“Doctor Mandes doesn’t think it’s a good idea with his current state of mental health, it could be the thing that pushes him over the edge.”

“Surely he deserves to know.” Natasha said strongly. “It’s his body. He has a right to decide if he wants to be pregnant or not.”

“If the knowledge breaks his mind, then what?” The nurse argued.

“That isn’t your call to make.” Tony told her. “After everything he’s been through, he deserves to know that he could be pregnant by someone he’s now being forced to live with.”

Clint sucked in a breath and avoided looking at anyone. He felt terrible enough as it was, but he had offered several times to tell Harry himself what he had done and the potential consequences of what he had done, but he was shot down by the doctors, who feared for Harry’s mental state after he was told.

“He’s being released into our care tomorrow. I’ll tell him then.” Clint cut in firmly. “He deserves to know what I did to him.”

“It was out of your control Clint.” Natasha told him firmly.

“You will do him irreparable mental damage.” The nurse snapped.

“You underestimate him.” Thor’s booming voice silenced them all. “His strength and courage has surpassed all expectations! He has proven himself worthy; I would be honoured to fight beside him as a warrior.”

“It doesn’t matter if he can handle it or not, he has a right to know regardless.” Bruce put in after Thor’s loud announcement.

Harry groaned in the bed and rolled and the nurse rushed to check his vitals.

“I don’t believe it. His body has eliminated the sedative already; he hasn’t been under for twenty minutes!”

The nurse hurried out to get the head doctor, Doctor Mandes, as Harry rolled over again and scrunched up his face, his mind fighting off the heavy effects of the sedative.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you awake?”

“I don’t wanna sleep no more.” Harry slurred, his closed eyes blinking rapidly under his eyelids.

Harry’s gorgeous green eyes opened, looking slightly glazed, but he forced his body up with pure pig-headedness and gave a very adorable, sleepy glare to Steve.

“If I’ve been asleep all night again I’m going to kill you. Super serum be damned!”

“It’s been twenty minutes.” Bruce told him, unable to help himself as he came closer and checked Harry’s vitals, smiling wryly as the cute glare turned to him.

“Had better of been.” Harry mumbled as he handed Bruce his body trustingly to be checked over.

“The sedative seems to be ineffective now.” Bruce told him. “Your body barely goes under before fighting it off with increasing amounts of adrenaline.”

“Yes, perhaps we should change the sedative this time and not the dosage of the regular one we have been giving you.” Doctor Mandes stated as he came out of the office.

“You give me any more sedative and I’m leaving AMA.” Harry threatened, moving to sit on the edge of the bed to prove he was serious, ignoring Bruce’s hands that automatically moved to hover over his waist.

“You can’t.” Doctor Mandes told him. “Director Fury wants you to remain here until you are released.”

“Today, tomorrow, not much difference if all I’m going to be doing is sleeping.”

“It is a possibility that you’ll be released tomorrow, not a certainty.”

Harry’s face fell. “Excuse me, what? I was assured I’d be released tomorrow!”

“The increasing evidence of your mental instability and self-harming tendencies has made me review the decision to release you at all, let alone as soon as tomorrow.”

“Fuck this.” Harry said, slipping to his feet and gritting his teeth against the pain that shot up his one leg and through his spine.

“What are you doing? Get back in that bed instantly!”

“Go fuck yourself! I’m leaving. You’re not going to use me as some little lab rat so you can practise your needless little tests.”

Harry forced himself to leave, knowing full well that he couldn’t be stopped, that he could press assault charges if the doctor manhandled him.

“Do you think this is a good idea?”

“Fuck off Steve! I should have done this last week.” Harry told him as he hobbled his way to the lift to take him down; thankful that he had demanded real clothes over the little gown he had been wearing when he had first woken up. He was wearing plastic covered, paper thin, washed out green, shorts and a matching tee-shirt in the same material that could be ripped from his body between two fingers, but anything was better than the gown.

“I think he’s cute being a little rebel.” Tony smirked, offering him an arm to grip onto when he ran out of wall to lean against. “He shouldn’t have to be some doctor’s pet.”

“Thank you Tony, at least one of you understands!” Harry grumbled as he bashed the zero button to take him down to the ground floor, purposefully ignoring the cute comment.

“So where are you going?” Clint asked him.

“Home.” Harry snapped. “I’m going to sit on my own settee and read my own books until I can forget all about this last month.”

“Maybe that’s not…”

“Say another word Steve. I dare you.” Harry bit out as his leg almost folded under him. He was up in Tony’s arms before he could gasp.

“Come on Princess, I’ll get you home.” Tony grinned.

“Put me down!” Harry demanded.

“Going to crawl home are you?” Tony snarked.

“If it means I keep my dignity, yes.”

“Don’t be so stubborn.”

“That’s rich coming from you. It’s only stubbornness keeping you alive.”

“Which is why I know when it’s best to give in and let your friends help you.”

“We’re friends now?”

“Yes.” Tony replied simply and Harry huffed, settling down in Tony’s arms, though for the record he wanted it known that he wasn’t happy being in this situation. Not happy at all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- X

He had been home for a day when Fury and Coulson paid him a visit. Harry was surprised they had waited that long to be honest, as he was sure that Steve had called them as soon as he had closed his front door on him, but he had used the time to pack, he knew the terms of him keeping his job were still non-negotiable, which meant that he was still going to have to live in Stark Tower with the Avengers.
He had packed all of his magical things into a secret compartment built into his suitcase before filling it with his books and of course his photo album filled with all of his moving, wizard photos, his non-moving, Muggle photo album and a few of his smaller photo frames were also in his suitcase too and he had a hold all with some spare sets of clothes and his electronics, he’d come back for the rest if he had to.

“So this is where you got to.” Fury said as soon as Harry opened the door.

“I’m sorry Sir, but when I was told I might not be released, I took matters into my own hands.”

“Your leg still isn’t a hundred percent. How have you managed?”

Harry smiled and let the two men enter his home, nodding to the armchair where Clint was fast asleep.

“He won’t leave me alone.” Harry told them. “In the med bay, I thought he didn’t like me, or that he regretted saving me from the amount of times he kept apologising and then leaving, but since I left yesterday, he’s refused to leave me alone. He’s a very confusing individual; I just wished my gut wasn’t so messed when he was around.”

“What do you mean?” Fury asked, sharing a slight look with Agent Coulson, which put Harry on his guard.

“I get a strange feeling around Clint and Bruce. Bruce I’m sure it’s because of the Gamma radiation, but I’m not sure about Clint.” Harry answered, watching them closely, neglecting to mention that he was likely more in tune to Bruce’s radiation because of his magic, which was replenishing itself along with his climbing energy levels; also the wand in his forearm holster was helping a lot. He had strapped it on as soon as he got home; fuck S.H.I.E.L.D he wasn’t going to be caught out like that ever again, Statute of Secrecy be damned.

“I’ll have a talk with him.” Coulson said softly. “He’s likely still feeling guilty that he put you in the line of fire upon your escape.”

“He doesn’t need to feel guilty about that, I’ve told him myself. I’d much rathered have been shot several times on an escape attempt than remain in that place a moment longer. I’d rather have died than stay in that place any longer.”

“You’re still moving into Stark Tower.” Fury told him sternly.

Harry nodded to the packed suitcase and the hold all bag. “Clint’s taking me later today.”

“He cares for you.” Fury told him and Harry narrowed his eyes, he thought it was a strange thing to say.

“Must I go back to the med bay at all?” He asked changing the subject, thinking on Fury’s actions and Clint’s behaviour gave him a searing headache.

“No, I think that now you are out and stubbornly refusing to go back, we can leave you under the care of the Avengers and the abled Dr Banner.” Fury stated and smirked at the grin that lit up Harry’s face. “Just take it easy and keep yourself in one piece.”

“I’ll try Sir, but you have to tell these Alphas to stop pinning me down all the time, especially Steve and Thor, oh and tell Tony to stop carrying me.”

“I’ll be sure to tell them, but I don’t think they can help themselves sometimes.”

Harry chuckled as he sat back on the settee as his knee started to shake. His muscles were getting stronger the more he used them over the past week or so, but it was painful and slow going and when standing still he couldn’t help but pick his injured leg up so it didn’t throb as much. It was going to take months, if not years, before his leg was even half of what it used to be, which is why he had sent an owl to St Fiacre’s Medical Centre for Magical Injuries and Illnesses when Clint had fallen asleep asking for something to help musculature and nerve damage in a leg as well as a weak scar reducer. He had told them to send the requested items to him via Muggle means and had given Stark Tower as the address.

“How are you feeling in…other parts?” Fury asked.

“You mean my mind, don’t you?” Harry sighed.

“Yes, that is what I was asking.”

“Honestly, after those first few days where I lived through it all again like some vivid dream, I’m remembering less and less Sir. It’s like my own mind is trying to lock away the memories and the more I try to stop it from happening, or the more I try to remember, the faster the memories go. I’m sure I’m missing a few memories about what happened, so I haven’t given you the fullest report I can until I get those memories back. The psychiatrist said to just let them go, but I can’t Sir. It happened to me, it was terrible and I hate that it happened to me, I wish it hadn’t, but it did and I can’t just let myself forget such a huge part of me, whether bad or good, I can’t just forget, I won’t let myself forget.”

Fury nodded curtly in understanding. “I’ll tell your psychiatrist so that your sessions can be altered to your preferences, though perhaps there is logic in what you are being told, if you don’t stress your mind into remembering, perhaps the memories will come to you.”

Harry frowned in thought and he barely noticed as Fury and Coulson left him with the assurance that he would move to Stark Tower as soon as Clint was awake. He decided to give it a go. He had been trying to force his mind to remember traumatic and harrowing memories, perhaps if he took a step back and let his mind sort through them, the memories would indeed come to him instead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- X

Being around Harry constantly was wearing down his barriers. Clint couldn’t believe he had fallen asleep at all, let alone for most of the night and half of the morning. He had only woken up because Harry had fallen down the stairs, the loud banging and clattering and Harry’s loud and violent cursing could have woken the dead.

“Why didn’t you call me?” He asked desperately as he sat Harry on his lap, holding him tightly, one hand automatically falling to the maybe baby while the other one pressed Harry’s shoulder into his own body, fingers rubbing gently over the place on Harry’s neck that he had licked over when he had raped him, where he could have bitten if he had wanted to bond with Harry indefinitely, but he hadn’t been so far gone as to force bond an Omega to him, not ever. No Alpha was ever too far gone as to bond to an Omega without their knowledge and every single plea that Alphas gave in court of not knowing they had bitten an Omega, or that they had instinctively done it, or hadn’t known they had bonded to an Omega in heat, always fell through and the Alpha was always prosecuted very harshly.

“I’m fine Clint, it was only three stairs.” Harry said with a long suffering sigh, even as he held the leg that had given in on him so close to the bottom of the stairway.

“You could have really hurt yourself!” Clint admonished, his heart beating far too fast.

Harry rolled his eyes and tried to get up, but Clint’s arms tightened around him and the man stood up with Harry cradled in his arms like a child. He huffed.

“Put me down Clint. I’m fine!”

“Just…just let me do this Harry.”

“Why?” Harry asked suspiciously.

Clint had promised Steve that he wouldn’t tell Harry the full details of what had happened on the rescue attempt until they were both safely in Stark Tower, but it was so hard now that they had the privacy, his conscience was burning to confess his crimes to Harry, knowing the little Omega had fallen down the stairs while potentially carrying his baby soured something inside him and he wondered if telling Harry he might be pregnant would help him be more cautious, or less.

“I just want to Harry. I was the one who saw what happened to you with my own eyes, the others saw it through a recording, I was there, I smelt that room, I took everything in, took you in and it’s made me so very protective, I don’t want to take anything away from you, least of all your hard earned independence, but I want to help you in any way that I can, in any way that you’ll let me.”

Harry sighed. “I promised Fury that we’d go to Stark Tower as soon as you were awake.”

Clint hated that too, that whenever he mentioned seeing Harry in such a state he closed up and changed the subject. He could understand to a point, but how was he supposed to tell Harry what he had done when Harry wouldn’t even let him talk about seeing him in that room.
He nodded in response to Harry’s statement and moved to wake himself up fully so that he could be on guard as they made the long trip to Stark Tower located in Manhattan. He hoped that he could hold himself together until he was around his team for support.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- X

Harry glared at Clint’s hunched back as they made it into Stark Tower. Clint was carrying both of Harry’s bags, not letting Harry do it himself and Harry was angry about it.
Using a voice authentication password after identifying himself and Harry to something called Jarvis, they were let in and Harry was ambushed as soon as he set out of the lift, still glaring at Clint.

“Harry, how are you?”

“I’m fine Steve, really. I’m going to kill Clint in his sleep, but I’m fine.”

“What has Hawkdick done now?” Tony asked, sauntering over with a grin, wearing a pair of ripped, patchy jeans and a washed out band tee-shirt.

“I can carry my own bags!” Harry told them seriously.

“Steve, Harry fell down the stairs this morning.” Clint shot over his shoulder as he went to put Harry’s bags in a guest room.

Harry cursed violently as the Mother hen swept him immediately off of his feet and set him on a stylish settee, Bruce coming to check him over.

“It was three stairs!” He hissed. “I slipped more than I fell; I went down on my arse.”

“Maybe we should take you to a hospital, just to be sure.”

Harry full out glared at Steve. “You just try to get me in a hospital now Steve, I’m not having it! I agreed to come live here so you could all watch over me because the Director wanted me too. I am here purely because I want to keep my job, so back off!”

“Leave him alone.” Natasha said sternly. “He’s right, nothing is going to happen to him from falling down three stairs, you’re all being ridiculous. You have to forgive them Harry, Alpha idiocy is like a terminal disease, you’ll never be rid of it.”

Harry snorted, but it didn’t stop the frown that crossed his face as Bruce’s hands lingered on his waist. It pulled something up in his mind, of when he had actually fallen down the stairs, hadn’t Clint’s hand lingered on his stomach as well?
He frowned harder and tried to think back, but between Steve’s overprotective worry and Tony’s excitement in showing off his tower, pointing to doorways and telling him where they led, he didn’t have time to think on it, or the energy to spare dragging through his own memories.
Apparently they were currently in Tony’s penthouse, which was at the very top of the tower, and was the main ‘entertainment’ floor, which really meant that it was the floor where all of them spent the most time together and was the only floor which had a kitchen slash dining room. The floor below the one they were on was where everyone else had rooms and if what Tony was listing off was any indication, this tower had absolutely anything and everything anyone could possibly need.

“When you built this tower, why did you make so many guest bedrooms, it’s almost like you knew the Avengers would be staying over.”

Tony got a look on his face. “Fury said that you had read the mission reports on the Tesseract. You should know that after the battle with Loki and his aliens that I had to rebuild half the tower, I just rebuilt it differently to how it was before.”

Harry frowned as he tried to remember reading those reports. It sounded familiar, but it was like trying to catch smoke. He got close and then it just drifted away. He shook his head.

“I don’t remember.”

“That’s alright Harry.” Bruce assured him. “This is normal, your mind wants to shut down to recalibrate itself, it wants just a few hours where you aren’t forcing it to do something or to remember a memory. Your mind wants to go in one direction, but you keep dragging it in a different one, just let it go, just for a while and you’ll be fine.”

Harry frowned even harder before he stopped and sighed as he realised he was trying to get his brain to think through every word Bruce had said to him, maybe he was bringing this on himself.

“Okay, I’ll try it your way Bruce. No one ask questions or anything that will make my brain work. I’m just going to stay here and not think.”

Everyone agreed and went about their own lives and activities, while Harry employed his limited knowledge of Occlumency once more and shut off the part of his brain that was questioning absolutely everything happening, from moving into Stark Tower with the Avengers, the behaviour of said Avengers, why they kept touching his belly, or if it was just a strange coincidence, the part of his brain that was trying to hunt down all the memories of his capture, the part that was analysing everything everyone said or did around him, everything. He just shut it off and didn’t think, coaching himself to breathe. He could do this; it was how he had coped through everything that had ever happened in his life. He breathed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ X

“He’s doing it again.” Clint pointed out as Harry’s breathing stuttered; he stopped breathing for several moments, before sucking in a deep, gasping breath only to repeat.

“He’s fine Clint. He’s meditating.” Bruce said with a long suffering sigh.

He had been through this several times, the first time Harry had done it had panicked them all, but as soon as Bruce had established that Harry was deeply meditating, he dragged the others away to let Harry carry on. If meditating helped him feel better, helped calm him down and helped his mind reclaim the lost memories, then he was fine with Harry’s breath catching every now and then, it wasn’t doing him any harm. He was more worried about Harry finding the memory of what Clint had done before they had a chance to explain it to him themselves. It would look terribly bad if Harry found that memory before they explained, it would look like they were hiding it or covering it up to protect themselves.

“I know you’re worried, but he’ll be fine.” Natasha coaxed, trying to get Clint to stop staring at Harry.

“He won’t be if he finds the memories of his heat while he meditates.” Tony said as he came into the living area, wiping his dirty hands on an already dirty cloth.

Bruce sighed heavily as Clint swung around to look at Tony horrified, he hadn’t wanted to worry Clint about what Harry could unintentionally uncover during his quiet time.

“Is that what he’s doing?” Clint asked panicked.

“It might be.” Tony shrugged, throwing the dirty cloth into the bin and moving to his bar area and mixing himself a drink. “His mind has been so stressed since he woke up, he’s forcing himself to try to remember every single detail of every minute, it’s why he can’t remember anything, there’s a mental block and the more he presses on it, the tighter it grips him. If he stops pressing against the barrier and lets it come down on its own little by little, he’ll remember bits and pieces until he finally works it all out and remembers everything. I told you from the start that it wasn’t a good idea to keep it from him, he should have been told as soon as he woke up, not waited until he was more recovered or until the doctor gave the all clear or until he was here with all of us, he should have been told immediately, especially about the maybe baby.”

“I don’t want him finding out that way.” Clint murmured.

“Then tell him and soon.” Tony answered sharply as he took his drink and sat heavily next to Harry, who jerked out of his meditative state and looked at the older man owlishly.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce asked him gently.

Harry blinked several times, considering the question carefully, before he smiled softly.

“Good. I feel great actually. I’m tired though.”

“If you want I could show you to your room.” Tony said from beside him.

Harry nodded, not even fighting or shouting that he had slept for too long over the past two weeks. He let Tony help him to the lift to go down a floor, saying a soft goodbye to Bruce, Natasha and Clint, the only three that were still on the top floor.

“Are you really alright?” Tony asked as the lift doors slid closed on them.

Harry nodded. “I feel better than I have for the last week. The stress of being in the med bay bed all day, every day, being surrounded by doctors and nurses all the time, it got to me more than I thought it had. I saw home for a day before being pushed onto you like this and I guess I really did need to just shut my brain off for a while, if not to remember what happened but to stop me from being so stressed and pulled apart. I need to feel like me Tony, not like a victim or a survivor, I don’t want people surrounding me all the time, fussing over every step I take, I don’t want to be reminded what happened, oh the poor little Omega, what a tragedy, I want to be left alone to sort through my own mind and memories, I want to recover on my own. I can’t deal with Steve constantly hovering around me, or how Bruce treats me like glass, or Clint’s weird behaviour changes or Thor in general. The only people who seem to treat me like a person, like I have thoughts, feelings and opinions are you and Natasha.”

Tony threw an arm around him and gave him a hug. “I am an Alpha and I feel all protective and worried over you just like everyone else, but I’m a genius also, my mind runs quicker and more thoroughly than anyone else’s, which helps when it comes to making split decisions. It’s hard to explain in a way that you’ll understand, I know how and why it works, but it’s hard to get others to understand, but because my thought process is quicker, before I act I’ve already gone through several scenarios in my mind, when the others are pestering you and reacting to you falling or even coughing, their first thought is to help you, to protect you, but I’ve already had those baser thoughts and moved on to what will best suit or help you from your perspective. They don’t move onto that higher thought function quick enough so they stick with the protective urges where I can step back and let you breathe.”

“Thank fuck for geniuses.” Harry muttered as he leant against Tony.

“If they get too much for you, come find me in my work shop, it’s the very bottom floor, mine is the door on the left, Bruce’s is the one on the right.”

Harry nodded and yawned as they finally stepped out of the lift that had been on the right floor for at least five minutes and Tony led him down a hallway.

“That room’s Natasha’s, the one further down on the opposite wall is Clint’s. That door is Steve’s, the one further down and opposite is Pepper’s, you’ll meet her soon, she’s lovely and a Beta, so you’ll be getting some more people in your corner soon, Pep will beat away the nasty Alphas for you.”

Harry chuckled at that as they moved past Pepper’s door towards the end of the corridor.

“This is a bathroom, you might want to wake up before Thor, apparently he leaves the bathroom in a right state after his morning shower, must be something to do with being a godly Prince, we’re trying to domesticate him, but it’s slow going. This room is Bruce’s, that one is Thor’s and this one is yours.” Tony said happily, pointing to the door that was next to Bruce’s, but was closer to Thor’s room.

“Thank you Tony, you didn’t have to put up with me.”

“Hey, anyone willing to keep my secrets is cool with me. You go and get some sleep, you can eat after you wake up, I’ll try to keep the Capt. away from you if you sleep through breakfast, but I make no promises if you don’t show up for lunch. He’s the biggest Mother hen I’ve ever known.”

Harry chuckled as he opened his bedroom door and said a soft goodnight to Tony, who was already halfway back up the corridor and just waved his arm without breaking his stride or turning around. He flicked on the light switch in his room and shut his door softly, sliding the small and simple bolt lock closed. As soon as the door was closed and locked, his forced mask of calm crumbled and he pressed his back against the door, his expression one of horror as he slid down until he was sat on the floor with his arms wrapped tightly around his shaking knees.
He remembered everything; everything that had happened to him during his captivity, all of the questions, his responses, the endless torture and even the heat period he had slipped into whilst held prisoner and the strong, alluring Alpha who had come to help him, the Alpha who had mated with him. That Alpha had been Clint.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- X

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day for all you who celebrate it, here in Wales it’s already gone, we celebrate St Dwynwen’s Day on the 25^th of January, though of course most here celebrate both holidays, because we’re greedy.
I will be updating all of my stories today, still writing one of them though so I need to get a move on, as a Valentine’s gift to you all. Have a wonderful day.

darkroses: This is going to remain just a Clint/Harry fic, there will be no one else in their relationship. I hope you enjoyed the Avengers finding the recording; I will be going into their reactions from it later on, though not too much later on, in the next chapter or two.

crazypagen: Alpha females do not exist, only Alpha males. Females can only be either Batas or Omegas, but they can’t be Alphas. Males can be all three social ranks. Harry won’t be forming a telepathic link with Clint, but they will be bonding and Clint will be courting Harry as much as a very stubborn, wilful and uncooperative Harry will allow.

I hope you’re all still enjoying this, especially after the cliffhanger I’ve left you on, I’d say sorry, but I’m not all that sorry I’m afraid.

StarLight Massacre. X
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Damaged Bodies, Growing Lives, Building Families