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One Man's Worth (previously Where there's a Will)	By : ChrisCross Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Captain America Views: 2399 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or the Marvel'verse , I make no money, this is for fun only.

Chapter List
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*A.N. Here is the first sex-ish scene. It is not explicit, because Steve is IN CANNON the world's biggest boy scout. He is at this point very innocent. It will get more specific later. We also find out in this chapter why Steve has a major hate on for bullies in general and the ego degradation style of abuse found in the Nazi regime in particular. It also fixes a few plot holes, continuity errors and anachronisms from the move.*

That night, Steve slept more restfully than he had since joining the Army. All the other recruits of the SSR had been packed up and sent to another training facility, closer to the future site of a Stark generator. It had to do with the program only getting the funds to build the permanent lab if the procedure worked.   Steve didn’t really get the politics behind that, but he was glad to have the barracks to himself. He preferred sleeping on his side, but with Bucky’s good name on the line, the chances of him talking in his sleep were too high to risk. He had spent every night here with his face in the pillow. Tonight at least, he could sleep as he liked.
Restful did not translate into peaceful. That night his mind ran him through half a dozen vivid and libidinous scenarios involving his friend. It was as if his sleeping mind knew that if Erskine’s process worked, he would be out in the trenches where even having a pillow to smother his sounds was unlikely. He had done a lot of reading about front line conditions, and knew he might have to sleep in a foxhole. This was his last chance to dream of Bucky, and his mind took full advantage of that. Mostly these dreams centered on holding and kissing, that being all that men and dames did in films, at least the ones Steve went to. A few more venturesome ideas worked in, incorporating what Steve knew he liked, in the fondling arena, and oddly enough, there was at least one that had Bucky’s head in Steve’s lap while Steve stroked Bucky’s thick black mane of hair. For a reason that didn’t totally make sense, this was incredibly exciting. Steve had long ago, the summer before college, quit trying to figure out the weird ones. He had decided that the fact it was a dream and dreams didn’t always make sense when you woke up explained it after the third dream that involved having Bucky press himself to Steve’s back.
Steve was glad that he had gotten used to waking shortly before dawn, his bunk was a huge mess, and the added time before Agent Carter came to pick him up was necessary. Fortunately, the stain was mostly localized, and the sheets had to go in the barracks hamper anyway. After frowning at the small dark mark left on the mattress itself, Steve decided it wasn’t noticeable and he highly doubted no other military man had ever made that kind of stain. Maybe not with the same image, but how would they know? The packing up of his bunk done, he dressed quickly, but methodically. The dress pants and boxers had been altered a bit from regulation, using costly elastic, so that they would still fit if the projected growth happened, and the t shirt was left off for the same reason, but everything else was standard. The recruits had been trained to be able to dress quickly in any of their uniforms without looking in a mirror, so Steve knew he had gotten everything right by feel, but was unable to check, which made him nervous. He was still dealing with the nerves when Agent Carter arrived.
That car ride had to have been the most painfully awkward situation he had ever been in. Half of what Steve said came out sounding like he had been a crazy suicidal maniac; admittedly almost true, and the other half made him wonder if he’d just insulted the British woman beside him. He had heard the Brits were fanatics for politeness, and he was polite to women in general, but Peggy Carter was not just any woman. He knew calling her a dame was a mistake as soon as the words hit the air, but backpedaling got him to woman, which seemed like something Peggy wouldn’t like, so he settled on Agent, her rank. She only said “You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?” Then the direction of the conversation turned to risky area, dancing.
“The last few years it just didn’t seem important. I figured I’d wait.” He knew he could never dance in public with the one person he wanted to dance with anyway.
“What for?” was her response.
He was about to say, “For Bucky.”, but quickly switched to “The right partner.” He didn’t want to lie to his friend, and for him, Bucky was the right partner.
The lab was hidden under an antiques shop, and Steve felt very sick about being underground, until he saw the room was two stories tall. He didn’t like small spaces. He followed the directions he was given, and joked a bit with Dr. Erskine, and tried not to stare too hard at the coffin-like capsule. He had been briefed, he knew what it would take, but it seemed less scary when he wasn’t strapped to the thing. It didn’t matter, he told himself, and it was for Bucky, anything was worth it for Bucky.
The container he was in was fully lit. That was a plus. He could feel the serum spread into his body, warm and tingly. Then he was caught in the grip of the mental effects of the formula. He had been warned that he might experience a phantasmagoric effect. He’d had to look the word up. He would have called it a nightmare effect. Suddenly he was a child again, his mother had just died, and he was at the mercy of older boys. He had been pummeled, scratched, choked, and smothered. He let them do it, so that he could just take the bottom rung and not be bothered while in the thick of his grieving. The man who ran the boys home had come in, and Steve was the only one who showed evidence of having been in a fight. Steve was punished for fighting, and when he told them who with, it was worse. The adults didn’t believe him, and the other boys decided to punish him for talking anyway. He was chased into the boiler room, and he was crowded into a space too small for him to breathe right. It was too hot, too close; the air was burning his lungs. When he no longer heard the others, he ran out to get air, straight into the arms of Robert, one of the biggest and meanest. He couldn’t get out, and he was suffocating.   He was being squeezed to death. He screamed and struggled with the restraining arms.
As he ripped free, he became dimly aware of the lab again. He heard Agent Carter yelling. “Shut it down!”
Doctor Erskine’s voice joined her, “Kill the reactor, Mr. Stark! Turn it off! Kill it! Kill the reactor!”
  Steve panicked. “No! Don't! I can do this!!” The lab faded out again, and he was in the alley where Robert had routinely beaten him with bricks and with fence boards, here was where he had gotten most of his bones broken at one point or another. Here was where he had been pelted with garbage and had his face rubbed in mud. Here, he had been told with both word and deed that he was not good enough. That he was a mistake. That he had no rights. Here he had made stand after stand, failing each time. This time he was bigger, a tall strong man, and Robert was still a chunky 8-year-old. A brick appeared in one hand, a baseball bat in the other. Anger burned in his veins, but as he approached his old foe, he saw a silhouette of a boy at the mouth of the alley. That was Bucky. He was a boy, exactly like the day they met, when he had saved Steve for the first time, and earned loyalty and friendship. He wouldn’t want Steve to beat up a helpless kid, even Robert. The anger melted away, and Steve dropped his weapons and ran past the cowering form of an old terror. As they met, Bucky grew from a boy to the man Steve had last seen at the Modern Marvels expo. They were both in uniform, and Steve was shocked to be slightly taller than his dark haired companion. In a voice that was both his mother’s and Peggy Carter’s, despite the vast difference in the sound of the two, he heard “Not a perfect soldier,” and then again defying reality a male voice that was both James Buchanan Barnes and Abraham Erskine continued “But a good man.”
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One Man's Worth (previously Where there's a Will)