Circle Of Fear

AN: Mancala is my favorite game EVAR! The rules are kind of hard to explain, you mainly learn as you play. Anyway...

--How could you believe in someone sorry sad like me? I know the deal and I thank you anyways. And if you leave, you know I'm crawlin' at your feet. You never get weak when I'm leanin' hard on you. And I guess that's just the way you are... Just The Way You Are, The Goo Goo Dolls.--

I sat up in the bed, looking down at my hands. The monitor next to me was beeping a steady, calm rhythm. When I had first spoken to Xavier, I had felt serene and sleepy. I slept for hours. But now I was tired of sleep. I wanted up and about.

“Aah, you awake.” Remy poked his head in. I beamed.

“I can only sleep so much.”

“I know,” he stepped in, looking mischievous. Both hands were held behind his back.

“What do you have?” I asked.

“A s'prise.”

“I know, but what IS it?” I persisted, fairly bouncing on the bed.

“Pick a hand.” he said. I grinned and pointed to the right. Remy handed me a book. Once it was in my hand, my smile grew even wider. It was red leather, and the rich scent caught in my nose. I wanted to hug it to my chest.

“Thank you so much.”

“Professor said dat it'd help, writin' what ya hear.”

“How did you know? I didn't tell you.” I set the book aside. Remy looked a little comfortable.

“May or may not have—asked about you.”

“Maybe I didn't want you to know.” I bit at my lips, feeling the familiar hot pain spread through my face. I knew that I had broken skin again.

“Stop dat, m'sweet.” he tapped my nose with his free hand. I scowled and jumped back. Remy chuckled.
“Dere ain't nothin' in dis world you can keep from Remy if he wanna know.”

We'll see about that, I thought. He was still holding one hand behind his back though, and I was distracted by it. I cocked my head to the side.

“What do else do you have?”

“Women. Always so curious,” Remy sat on the bed and presented me with a wooden box. I undid the latch and flipped it open. Suddenly, the box was a flat board with two rows of holes with two large holes on the ends.

“What is it?”

“Mancala. A game Papa played with me when I was sick in bed.” he grabbed the colored beads piled in one of the big holes and began to dole them out, four to each little hole.
“Dis your mancala, dis mine.” he tapped the big holes on either side of the board.

“So how do you play?” I asked, arranging my legs in a pretzel on the bed.

Remy explained that I picked up a handful of beads from my row and went around the board, dropping a bead in each hole and my own mancala. If my last bead landed in my mancala, I could go again. If my last bead landed in an empty hole in my row, I got to take the beads from the hole in his row opposite.

We spent the afternoon playing. I lost the first two games and won the last two. We were getting ready for a tie breaker when Hank poked his head into the room. He watched up for a moment.

“I hate to interrupt, but it's time for Collette to have an injection. Her tetanus is way overdue, and she needs a couple boosters.”

“More needles?” I shrank back a little.

“Letty,” Remy began. “Ya ain't gotta be scared. Hank ain't never hurt ya.”

“I know, but--.”

“No fussin', ya hear?” he reached over and took my hand. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. “Remy right here, Letty.”

He reached over and grasped my hand as the needle penetrated my skin, cold and sharp. I felt my body start to shake, felt the cold sweat breaking out across my forehead. I hated feeling like this. I hated being afraid of anything at all.

“There,” a cotton ball was being pressed inside of my elbow. “And now, I do rather think that your poor little veins need a bit of a rest. Don't you think so, Collette?”

“I do,” I beamed again as Hank went out.

“Ya wanna finish our game?” Remy asked when my eyes opened. I looked around, seeing if Hank was around. I gave a wicked smile.

“I want to go outside.”

“Outside?” he repeated. “Like, a walk?”

“Yes, exactly.” I pulled myself up onto my knees and rested my hands on his arm. The warmth from his body made me want to shudder.
“Please, Remy?”

“Ya ain't s'possed to be leavin' dis room, Collette.”

“Oh, come on Remy.” I teased. “Don't tell me you're someone to follow the rules. I know you aren't. I can tell that you're not.”

Suddenly his eyes went wide. He drew his arm back sharply from me.

“Collette!”

“What?”

“Don't do dat to me!”

“Do what?” I asked, scrambling away from him. He was speaking to me in a harsh tone. I scurried off the bed and got my back against the wall.
“Do WHAT, Remy?”

“Merde,” he whispered, rubbing his forehead. “You didn't know da difference, did ya, cherie?”

“What?” I repeated. “What did I do? Are you angry with me? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry.”

“Collette,” he let his tone go back to something calmer. “C'mere, cherie.”

“Noooo,” I moaned. “I don't want to.”

“Why not?”

“You'll get the needle.”

“Non, non, non.” he crossed the room, was on his knees in front of me again. “M'sweet, Remy will say again. I'll never hurt ya.”

“Okay,” I whispered, not meeting his eye.

“C'mon, cherie. Hank busy right now. We can sneak out, non?”

**

Remy walked with her, hand in hand, slowly along the grounds. He had pulled sunglasses down over his eyes, briefly telling Collette that the sun hurt them. The girl nodded. Glancing over at her now, Remy thought about how much she seemed to be enjoying the sun.

“They never let us outside at the asylum. I remember when I was a little girl, I used to complain that I wanted to stay inside when my mother told me to go play. She said I needed fresh air and sunshine.” a dark look crossed her face.
“My mother thought a lot of things were good for me, though.”

Remy said nothing, only draped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. Collette leaned into him, fairly purring as she did so. They stopped under a tree, sitting under its leaves. The girl looked so happy,even clad in her hospital gown still that it made Remy's heart hurt in his chest.

“We can't stay long, petite.”

“What does that mean? Petite?”

“Little one,” he chuckled a bit. “'Cause you so small.”

Collette made a face and shrugged.

“You're right though, Remy. Hank'll send out a search party or something. We should go in.”

“We should,” he agreed. But he just drew her in a little closer, letting her enjoy the sunshine and air for a few minutes more.