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The Old Apartment	By : Polymer Category: X-men Comics > Het - Male/Female > Logan/Jean Views: 4019 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men comics, or any of the characters from it. I make no money from from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Entering Jean's Mind

Disclaimer: I don't own X men, Marvel Comics does! This is FANFICTION, not for profit, but for entertainment only! This applies to ALL the following chapters as well!!!

Chapter
5 Morning After

Now
in the morning hours at seven thirty, Jean Grey shifted her tired body. The reality
of her immediate surroundings had been regenerated in her fully awakened state.
Logan was again dozing, curled up with his head turned slightly to one side,
lips parted. The rumbling snore was not as loud as it had been last night, but
still present.
The slamming
and creaking of doors in the apartment house drowned it. People coming and
going. Jean cast out her psychic tendrils and realized she heard the slight
chatter of people's minds coming into awareness. Tears rolled down her cheeks
when she realized how much she'd missed the psychic babbling of white noise.
In all that
time she had been in X factor, she wondered what was missing. The element of
her psychic powers that was denied her when the Professor first began treating
her. She had discovered later that he had established a series of psychic
breakers to protect her from herself. Along with Anne she herself had felt the
cold emptiness of death, catatonic.
Then Professor
X had trained her in her TK powers. Honing them, shaping them from a blunt use
of object levitation to fine manipulation. She could loosen bolts, tie knots,
and perform most actions a human could with her hands. Then she could extend
the field to levitate herself with a series of jumps. While she couldn't focus
the power to outright fly very fast, it was extremely useful when being dropped
from a great height. Eventually she learned how to fly for periods of time,
limited only by her mental states. When she and Storm had first met, they had
traded ideas on just how the other used their powers.
Then things
were so much simpler. Granted the addition of more X Men was disturbing enough,
and she and the others had vacated the X Mansion to start their own lives,
having come so close to losing them at the hands of Krakoa. It didn't seem to
make sense for them to take up the fight when there were others already doing
what they had done.
Scott was not
selfish enough to give up his duty. Not even for her, and Jean never forgot
that. Though she loved him, and he her, the X Men was always his first love.
Lorna and Alex had their own relationships that seemed selfish at times, but at
least they had some semblance of a life.
Then to learn
what Scott had done after she had died. That some creature had been living HER
life was almost intolerable. The friendships forged, the time wasted while she
slept and healed in that cocoon were difficult to comprehend. Anger burned in
her at the entity that had stolen her soul, her life, and her identity and
perverted it beyond repair.
"Damn,"
she cursed, and cried yet again. And who had been Madelyn Prior? A strange
experiments by Sinister� another aberration.
"Nobody
lets me live my own life," Jean whispered, and curled up to hug herself,
separating herself from the man whom had selflessly given his time to her.
Lavished her with all his singular attention and done nothing but love her
selflessly from afar while she got on with her life.
There was room
in her heart for two men. Logan and Scott. She loved them both for different
reasons and it made her heart ache. Those words Scott had spoken to her ersatz
self while she had tasted oblivion were to another woman. Wolverine had loved
her, but he had known both. The difference didn't matter to him.
"I'm not
the woman you saw die on the moon, Wolverine," she whispered.
"Don't
matter Red," said Logan as he sat up, and squeezed her arm. He turned her
over to look at him, and Jean sniffled as he wiped away her tears yet again.
"Does
it?" she asked.
"Your
scent, her scent were identical. In all ways she WAS you, because she stole a
piece of your soul Jean�"
"Reed
said I gave it a soul� part of mine� and I feel like she violated me�"
Jean shivered.
"You
triumphed over a cosmic force, that counts for something right?"
"Again
Reed said that," Jean laughed.
"You're
one stubborn lady, Red," Wolverine laughed. "Stubborn, and don't know
when to quit�"
"Sounds
familiar, doesn't it?" Jean said as she stroked his chest. Lying alongside
him, she saw his eyes dark with desire.
"Stay
here, I'll be back ok?" Logan promised. He leaned over and gave her a soft
kiss, then leapt over her to attend to his needs. Jean lay there, looking up at
the ceiling and laughing as she felt every nerve ending tingling.
It had never
been this good with Scott. Not in THIS way. Primal, satisfactory sex� no, make
that something more. A different flavor that she ached for and never knew she
needed till now. What now, she wondered. Jean told herself not to think. It
hadn't helped, and right now, all she wanted to do was be. Grabbing Logan's
flannel shirt, she slid it on and buttoned it slightly. It smelled of fabric
softener and whatever was his. Yet his psychometric traces inundated it.
"Is that
what he means when he smells something?" Jean asked. "Like I sense
psychic energies?"
"Pretty
much, Red as far as I figure," came his answer. She turned, not surprised
because she had sensed him as he had smelled her. Jean stumbled on shaky legs
and Logan caught hold of her.
"Easy
there Red�"
"I'm
dying," she laughed as she nodded towards the bathroom. Logan carried her to
the door, and she managed to hang onto the frame and slide the door partway
shut. He snickered despite her pain, and Jean heard his laughter but knew he
wasn't making fun of her, rather what her staggering step meant.
"I'll be
back soon, Jeannie� why doncha slip back into bed� I'm gonna get some food for
us�" came Wolverine's thoughts. Jean laughed as she heard his thoughts
echoing just as clearly as Scott's had done.

Jean
levitated herself into the shower, and sat on the floor of the large tub.
Closing her eyes she reached out with her TK and turned on the taps. Objects
levitated, and she was able to compensate for the soreness between her legs and
throughout them by the usage of her powers.
She hummed to
herself, catching a snatch of song that she hadn't sung in years. Not since
high school when she was only 16, and newly recruited to the X Men. Granted she
had studied privately under Professor X from the age of 12, but never joined
the team till later. The use of her powers for combat had not occurred to the
Professor till she was ready.
The
uncomplicated ivory soap and basic shampoo did well, and she realized she was
going to smell of Old Spice whether she liked it or not. She chuckled at the
unfeminine scent, and stretched out, slowly levitating her body to bathe in the
full length of the hot water. Any tightness was released, and Jean managed to
complete her task in enough time to sense Logan's presence approaching. The
curtain slid back, and she stared at the towels that flew towards her and she
tucked around herself.
He was walking
up the steps when Jean opened the door, and flew towards the bed. She lay down,
and started towing at her hair. Water surged off of her with another
application of her TK, and vaporized in the room. Although she could do this
every time she showered, Jean was aware that sometimes Scot figured she was
using her TK far too liberally. Logan wouldn't care, she chuckled.
"Is there
a sexy woman in the house?" came Logan's call.
"I don't
know� why don't you come in and find out?" Jean called back. She heard his
thoughts primal and clear of multiple distractions. When he set his mind to
something he was free of the clutter of others. The minds of others like Scott
were multilayered. Those that had no walls were the worst, like a channel that
never changed.
Logan's mental
defenses slammed down, and Jean sighed in relief. He had shifted his processes
to that of the primal level, below Jean's usual window of psi listening. As she
heard the rustle of paper, she debated whether she should stay on the bed, or
try making it to the kitchen table. "Breakfast in bed all right?" he
asked.
"I can
come out there, no problem," Jean said clearly. "I didn't get a look
at the rest of the place after all�"
Out in the
kitchen, he was taking things out of bags and spreading them around. Fresh
milk, coffee, orange juice and a bouquet of flowers that he managed to find on
the street near the newspaper stand. That was what he loved about the City.
Everything was available at the oddest of times if you knew where to look.
Despite the overloading cacophony of sounds and smells, this made it
worthwhile. Logan could survive in an urban jungle as well as a natural one.
He cracked a
few eggs, and clunked them into the frying pan he'd pulled out of the closet.
Toast was an easy affair, and he realized it had been a while since he'd cooked
for someone else beside himself. Bagels were one option, but he really wanted
to impress the pants or skirt off her. Make her realize she was worthy to be
laved with attention. His attention.
"Let me
spoil ya Red� won't kill ya," came his answer.
"I want
to see what you're doing� not just the end result," came her answer. Logan
grunted and half expected to hear her footsteps. It was eerily silent.
Logan failed
to notice as he finished making the first omelet, which was floating silently
out of the back room. His senses were screaming that someone was behind him,
and he turned, to see nobody. A low growl escaped his throat, and he could
swear he sensed a presence just out of his reach. Spooked, his claws exploded
from their wrists as he whirled about.
"It's
just me, lover," Jean said, and Logan's heard almost stopped. She was
sitting as cool as she pleased on one of the kitchen chairs, her hair moist and
curly in red ringlets. One of his favorite red flannel shirts clothed her body,
along with a pair of his black silk boxers.
"Dammit
Jeannie, you scared the shit outta me!" he gasped.
"You're
not the only one who can sneak up on someone," Jean grinned, with a
mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"Shit,
you got me there," Logan laughed, shaking his head. "God� if I knew
you could do THAT�"
"I took a
clue from the best�" Jean winked. He realized she must have used her TK to
levitate, and then somehow blurred his perceptions of her with her TK power.
"Damn,
you'd make one HELL of an operative," he mumbled with a chuckle. "All
right, fun and games are over� time to eat�"
"That
smells incredible�" Jean commented as he brought two plates of a full
protein laden breakfast which made her eyes widen in appreciation. She had
expected bagels and cream cheese or something else. Faced with toast, hash
browns, bacon, and a nicely prepared omelet was a pleasant surprise. Chuckling,
she half wondered if he was following the instinct of many males who postured
or built dens to attract a potential mate.
Logan hefted
an eyebrow, inviting her to share the smirk. Hot coffee poured into one of two
mugs, and she inhaled each smell. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd
say you were trying to spoil me rotten�"
"Maybe,"
Logan said. "So let me get on with it Red� will ya?"
"I can't
stop you," Jean smiled as she began to dig in. They ate in silence, and
Jean wondered what it must be like to sense things by sound and smell.
"Ya
didn't bring a whole lot with ya though, did ya?" he asked.
"Well
Misty Knight and Harmony Young DID have some of my things," Jean said
slowly. "And from what I recall, they didn't have the heart to destroy any
of it. Most of it got put into storage by my folks�"
"Fuck
that, maybe I'll spring for some new threads," he said.
"You
buying me clothes," she laughed. "Sorry Logan, but I didn't
think�"
"That I
had any source of income?" he chuckled. "Well when you've lived as
long as I have� you don't exactly leave yourself flat broke. I'm not a
millionaire like Chuck, but I do know how to have a couple nest eggs to tide me
over like� throughout the years� how do ya think I pay the rent on this place,
or the insurance for my 'scoot'?"
"Motorcycle,
most people say cycle or bike, or chopper," Jean teased him.
"Americans,"
Logan groaned. "Besides which you got some money yourself that ya earned
fair and square last night�"
"True,"
she smiled, and he saw the coffeepot tip more into his cup.

"Can
you tell what I'm thinking, almost as well as I can?" Jean asked.
"Good
question. Considering I can smell and sense from body language, instinct�"
"We're
even now," Jeannie said with a smile. "Your senses versus my mental
powers� I always did wonder what it was like to�"
"Strange
ya never volunteered to somehow LOOK through my senses like some telepaths I'd
figure."
"I was
afraid you'd think I was trying to get into your head�"
"I'd let
ya, since you asked nicely, cause I trust ya won't screw with anything, Red.
Though my mind's not a nice place�"
"As you
said, you were unpleasant and you do kill," Jeannie said. Wolverine nodded
slowly.
"But I
ain't that psychotic runt who was trying t' put the moves on ya in that garden
Jeannie, if that's what you're worried about," Logan said as he reached
over and clasped her hand. She looked down and intertwined her long slender
fingers with his massive ones.
"I'm
not," Jean smiled. "I see the diamond in the rough's gotten some
polishing� and I like what I see�"
"If ya
wanna� um get a sense of what I smell, taste� you can give it a shot now. I
don't mind� I want you to know what it's like from inside here�" Logan
said. "If that'd make you happy�"
"It would
involve a psychic rapport. Something a person doesn't enter into lightly,"
Jean said softly. "I�d understand if you didn't want to�"
"If its
what you want, Jeannie, then I won't stop you," Logan said. "If it
means that I can be part of yer life in some way shape or form�"
He guessed
what might happen, and Jean choked. She didn't know if when Scott and the
others finally came looking for them, she would go or stay. Yet she didn't
'want to lose Logan again. A piece of her mind inside of his was what she could
give him, to remember what he had given her. "Logan, I don't know if I can
promise you anything more than�"
"I'll
take whatever you give Red� no strings," Logan said. "No more or less
than you'd expect of me� I'm not a guy who can just be tied down. Not unless
it's the right woman�"
She saw the
meaningfully determination in his gaze, and knew that she had to give him this
gift. "Logan, I want to bond with you. Mind to mind. So you'll always be
with me� and I'll always be with you�"
"Not like
mating?" he asked.
"Soul
mating," Jean said. "I know it isn't what you wanted� but�"
"I'll
take you anyway I can, Jeannie," Logan said, his voice breaking. Jean felt
tears down her face and she reached for his temple. Logan pressed her hand to
the side of his head, and blinked at her. Jean framed his face with her hands,
and Logan automatically did the same. Green eyes fixed into wild blue ones, and
he was drawn close.
"Focus on
my smell, my sight, everything about me," Jean said. "Hear my voice
in your mind� let me inside� trust me�"

At first she was convinced Logan's mind was a dark place. Jean
sensed fear and chaos, and something dark that was just beyond her reach.
Memories shifting and changing in a never-ending pattern like a mirror glued
together. Darkness surrounded her, and she was full of fear. Till she heard and
smelled things that were hardly possible.
Her other
hand stretched out in the cool darkness that Jean learned was not darkness of
evil but the darkness of a cool night after a blinding day. In which Logan had
secreted all the memories that would rush forward to harm him. In the darkness
they were veiled from immediate sight, and she realized it was a self-defense
mechanism.
The
darkness lifted and she was in a place of tumbling shards of memory. Fragments
and bright specks tumbling and shattering, with a cacophony of sights and
sounds. Something reached out and grabbed her astral hand. She knew it was
Logan, but she didn't see. Rather she felt, touched and tasted him. Millions of
packets of sense data swirled around what were she and he, and she was
shimmering brightly.
Logan's
form was not so much seen as felt, tasted, and touched. Wildness personified,
and always changing from one era to another. One minute he was the grizzled
WWII operative all in black. The next in yellow and blue spandex with a mask
that concealed his face. Another time he wore the garb of a samurai, and after
that the clothes of a 19th century man. A mind filled to capacity with ten
times more memories then she would have expected. Jean was bombarded, adrift,
and the sturdy hands held her in the tumult.
"Logan,
please� I can't�"
"I'm
sorry Red� not used t' letting people in here�" Logan's thoughts echoed,
chiming as clear as her own. She felt something grounding her, and then blinked
to see him standing there, in 19th century garb, in a Victorian style home.
More like a cabin, with touches of Indian Native American flare.
"Who�
where is this?" she asked.
"Don't
know� something very far back," Logan answered, straightening the tie and
then she was in a shaolin temple, followed by a dark room. She blinked, and
finally she was standing in a cabin, Logan nearby in the sort of outfit she'd
last seen him in.
"God
Logan� the cabin�" she trailed off.
"One
of the places I was happiest Red," he said, and she touched the carving
where the names Logan and Silver Fox were carved by the small bowie knife Logan
had sheathed at his hip. "Strange I should bring ya here�"
The
memories blurred and shifted, and Logan was now in the woods, sitting in front
of a campfire. Jean recognized it at once, for she was wearing jeans and a
T-shirt, the coffeepot in her hand to fetch water. Logan stood in jeans, hiking
boots, and the leather jacket and cowboy hat that shaded his eyes. He appeared
as he had in those early days.
"I
don't remember this Logan�"
"One
of the times I was with your other self�" he said. "When you were
scared� Dammit I can't pick a place where you and I were together�"
"This
is fine," Jean said, glancing around and inhaling the breeze. Every sense
was in the greatest detail. Far more vivid than any memory she had delved into.
Logan reached out and took her hands in his, and she sensed the warmth of his
body, and felt the puff of air on her hair, which was extremely long. She
smiled, the sunlight bright in her eyes and smelled the crackling and sense of
wood. Heard the beating of her own heart, and sensed the presence of living
things unseen.
"Logan�
am I�"
"Way I
remember it," he said, and his voice had a strange echo of overtones. She
could smell something that was how she recalled smelling after a particularly
heavy workout. The odor that she sought to eliminate with deodorant, only a
hundred times stronger. Scents were pungent, strong and overloading, and she
couldn't see straight.
"Ugh I
stink!" Jean groaned.
"No
you don't," Logan laughed in amusement as she held her nose. "That's
your scent Jean�"
"Eww,"
Jean groaned, and then looked at him with a grimace. However he pulled her into
his arms and she smelled pungent musk that became her reality. Was this how
Logan smelled to himself� his scent? It was a hundred times more potent than
anything before or since, with nuances of being and states of reality.
Logan's
body vibrated with sheer power, and she could hear the hissing of neurons in her
own brain, sense the overwhelming reality of his presence right before her. Her
mind seemed to have eyes in the back of her head as she heard every leaf
rattling, and the intake of his breath, the creak of bones that drove her mad.
"Too
much, I can't�" Jean gasped.
"Like
you do your mind reading Jean. It's the same," Logan urged, holding her in
his arms. She moaned and yelped when she tasted pungent evergreen and brass
mingled with musk. Including the tang of beer and cigar smoke as his tongue
stroked over hers and something of her own scent mingling into his. He tasted
incredibly intoxicating, and the more she felt her nostrils filled the more she
realized her body was instinctively responding to a musk undertone that was
nothing short of Logan's pheromones.
Sweetness
like sugar dropped in hyacinth wafted past her, and she was looking at herself
through Logan's eyes. Seeing the glow of her hair, the redness of her lips, the
heady smell of sex wafting off her body. Hearing the melodic overtones of his
name from her own voice, and the dark green of her eyes. The warmth of her skin
and a beauty that stunned her. Was this what Logan saw every time he looked at
her? Then she tasted her own lips, feeling the curve of breasts pressed to him
and the scent of musk from the underarms and pubic areas and the edges of the
neck. Sweet sweat and the taste on her own tongue as Logan thrust it past her
lips, and she shivered with how soft they were on his. The warmth of her body,
the delicacy of her touches, and the flavor that he couldn't get enough of.
"God
Logan, that's what you see?" she stammered.
"Yes
Darlin� now you know why�"
Jean was
drunk on sensation as Logan continued to kiss her, and she felt the hardness of
him pressing urgently between them. "So, what's involved in this psychic
bond Jean?" he murmured.
"We
exchange a portion of each other's soul�"
"How?"
Logan asked. "I'm not sure there's much here you'd wanna take�"
"This
memory we're making now�" Jean said. "This is a good start�"
"And
what about you, Red?" he asked. "How do I get into THAT mind?"
"Take
my hand Logan�" Jean said. "I'm creating a bridge between us� laying
the channel that will allow your soul to extend across the gap to reach
mine�"
Metaphorically
he saw the spinning of light strands like spider silk extended from either
fingertip. On the edge of darkness of the shadow that he created to veil his
thoughts, was an abyss. An understanding passed from him to her, and he knew it
was the 'astral plane', a dimension common to all human and intelligent minds.
A sort of jumping off point to enter one realm of thought and fantasy from
another. He was still partly in his mind, and looking out to where Jean was
spinning long roping strands, and laying planks across a ravine. More language
that was common to both, to meet him halfway.
One foot
set on the first plank, and he grasped Jean's hands. Once he barely touched her
fingers, Logan was aware of suddenly rushing forwards right into her astral
image. Distance meant nothing, but he sensed fear within himself. He had never
crossed over into someone else's mind before. To violate the sanctuary of
someone's thoughts was an anathema because he couldn't abide having the same
done to him.

A blinding flash overwhelmed Logan, and he felt himself drifting
outside the darkness and shattering reforming images. He was nowhere familiar,
and felt naked and vulnerable, all his senses telling him nothing. Only the
presence of all things Jean was holding him to reality, and he realized what
she faced each time she probed other minds.
They stood
before a garden wall, fragrant and beautiful. "This is my mind,
Logan�"
"God,
you can't get in," he murmured as winged cherubs flew back and forth, and
muscled men and guards moved in and out. A fairytale castle in the distance,
and the sounds of horses galloping. The next moment he perceived the drawbridge
opening and Jean coming out, her hands extended. The loveliest thing he'd seen,
in golden radiant fire.
HE took her
hands, and was instantly in a walled courtyard. Stunned, he realized the
tranquility, and the beauty. "This ain't you Red," he said slowly.
"Nice show, but it ain't the you I sense�"
The castle
shattered, and he was in a pink void. Echoing thoughts, fears and tangible
thoughts bombarded his head. A powerful wall drifted, knocking out random
patterns as the center glowed. It was the nucleus of an atom, electrons
whizzing about. Then another series of images formed and moved, and he saw
brief flashes of thoughts that were Jean and not Jean.
Wild fire
and flames, swirling into winds with more chambers to put the thoughts she
experienced. Constantly adjusting and screening out the thoughts of others. A
cacophony of more thoughts than he thought possible. Logan drifted without any
reference point, and he saw and heard Jean all around him. "Why are ya
afraid to let me see yer mind the way it is? This is the real you, Red, and I
ain't the least bit scared�"
The
chambers were a maze that formed of its own volition from panes of mental
shielding. Jean had created formidable psychic defenses of her own. Logan's
experience with Weapon X psi shielding gave him enough foreknowledge to see the
signs. Jean's image receded and he sensed fear. His sense of direction was
flawless even in the foreign habitat of her mind, and he set off like a
bloodhound, wending his way through the maze.
Secret
dreams whispered behind doors. Fears and strange alien monsters were caged, and
he saw the burning flash of fire directly up ahead in a massive walled dungeon.
It spread its wings of fire, shrieking, and Logan knew who and what it was. The
Phoenix, sequestered within a vast birdcage, only an echo of what it once was.
Still its aftermath was enough to awe and astonish him. Dodging around this
memory fear he wended his way deeper.
Around
stranger images, of recorded thoughts from other minds, forever impressed but
caged to keep Jean from going insane. The voice of a little girl periodically
reached his ears, and Logan wondered if it was what some pop psychologists
called an 'inner child'. Dream language was universal, and Jean's was extremely
clear, considering the number of minds she had scanned. All the chambers were
the minds and images she had read from the hundreds of minds her psi probes had
touched. Tendrils snaked over the top of the maze, and then curled in like an
anemone.
Logan
easily reached the source of the little girl's voice. He dropped down on his
haunches to see not a fire hair child, but someone who was lost, frightened.
Her eyes were frozen in death, and he saw another girl rocking her, whispering
and crying. Jean's mental scent and another that permeated every place.
Tight metal
shields clanged down, and he was shut out. Tendrils pushed him to an upper
chamber of the maze, and he gasped in a dead end. Jean drifted before him,
wearing a version of her original X man uniform. Then it morphed into the
uniform he was more accustomed to seeing, the black and red X factor costume.
She was worried, concerned and apologetic as she held out her hands to him.
"I'm sorry Logan, I never let anyone except Professor X in t his far� this
is the core of my being� the part few people see or understand�"
"Only
a second ya let me in," Logan knew. "You saw someone die, right? And
you were stuck with that nasty piece forever� that's one of the things you're
hiding�"
Jean nodded
sadly. "This entire place is the maze that the Professor and I built
through years of training to house the thoughts I receive from those I scan. I
cannot get rid of them, and so they must be placed in their confines. Most
telepaths learn to construct such a defense. I panicked... I didn't mean to
shut you out Logan, but�
"I
don't need to know anymore than you want me to, Red. I'm sorry I was poking my
fat nose inta something�" Logan trailed off.
"Don't
worry about it, Logan," she chimed, her X men costume blurring into a
gauzy silk gown that undulated about her form.
"You
said that part of this mind link thing was to exchange parts of ourselves� what
does that mean, Jeannie?"
"This�"
She cupped her hands and a radiant spark sizzled between them.
"This
is a piece of my soul, for you, Logan� take it with you when you return to your
own mind�"
"And
what did you take from me, Darlin?" he asked.
"Whatever
you wish to give me, Logan. This contains my trust, and those memories common
to our experiences. Things that are tranquility and hope�" she said.
"You will chose what attributes, or memories are common to us and find a
way to give them to me, to make them forever mine�"
Wolverine
perceived his astral image, ever changing, without one common appearance. There
was only a common denominator to him, the wild man of the woods, with claws and
bones as strong as adamantium, and an equally unbreakable spirit. He saw her
spark gleaming and then knew what he had to do. AS if reaching into himself he
sought what she always would need, that he had and she did not possess. His
strength of will which was an equal to hers, and yet she did not believe.
Jean's astral form was staggered when blood slid from his knuckles and formed
liquid around his hands. Reaching within the framework of his body he reached
for one bone out of many, and plucked it from his skeleton. Just which one
didn't matter. Gleaming fragments of bright metal, wrapped with blood and
misting with strange smoke.
HE wasn't sure
if he liked it till she cupped something that shimmered like a diamond one
moment and was clouded in smoke the next. A piece of the nastiness mixed with
the brilliance of lighting and fire. Jean was suddenly before him, her hand
extended, and then he was cupping the shimmering spark.
Her hands
were bleeding, and she was holding a piece of rugged metal. It reminded Logan
of adamantium, the metal that permeated his bones. Reaching out, he touched her
hands, and Jean's skeleton was fused in solid fire. She cried out, and then he
knew that part of him was part of her, and part of her was part of him.
She kissed
him with astral lips, and he felt something being drawn out, and plugged up
with the shimmering globe she had handed him. A strange wholeness permeated
him, and he sensed her along with himself. Not alone, but always with someone
watching him, and smiling. "It is only what you see, the wildness inside
you, and the tranquility and love and peace of my own being," she echoed.

Logan
blinked, and became aware of every sensation around him. He felt something warm
and solid resting in his lap, and opened his eyes to see Jean sitting there,
her arm around his shoudlers, and his arms holding her in place. Just how she
had gotten there, he didn't question. It was a nice thing to wake up to. Her
eyes were tracking and he kissed her just before her ear softly. Green eyes
opened, and focused at him.
"How did
I get over here?" she asked.
"Dunno
Red, but I'm not complaining," Logan chuckled. Jean blinked, aware that
she was sitting on Logan's lap, his hands tunneling and stroking her hair.
"Neither
am I," Jean said and she turned around and straddled him in the chair,
giving him a soft and sweet kiss that made him burn. Logan extended the lip
touch into something far deeper, and soon Jean was feeling further evidence of
just how well he was taking suchh an intimate exchange.
"I'd ask
ya to accommodate me, darlin, if ya weren't so sore from last night,"
Logan said.
"Not
quite THAT sore," Jean smiled. "The TK did protect my more�delicate
features."
"Gonna
have to get ya used to a little roughousing," he said.
"Mmm,"
she nodded, and then rested her forhead to his. "Logan� I'm sorry I shut
you out in there�"
"Don't be
Red, I shouldn't have poked so deep�" he shook his head. "Don't know
when to butt out sometimes�"
"I
forgive you," she murmured, and Logan accepted the kiss that finalized her
apology.
"So� I
hate to ask ya, but you got any plans?"
"You mean
what are we going to do toinght plans, or 'what are you going to do now that
you've quit X Factor' plans?" Jean asked.
"I'm not
tryin' ta pressure ya or anything Jeannie, but considering what just happened,
I got this sick suspicion you ain't gonna be sticking around here permanent
like�"
"I knew
this would come up. I don't have any firm plans�" Jean said, and saw his
look of sexual innuendo. She laughed.
"I could
help with that� but seriously, Jeannie, since yer pretty ticked at Scotty boy
right now� and you ended up HERE� I just wanna let ya know you can stay as long
as ya want, or need to�"
"Thank
you, I appreciate that Logan� more than you could know," she said.
"But we
gotta face it sooner or later. What about Slim?" echoed Logan's voice.
"I don't
know Logan�" she whispered as he held her close and kissed her. There were
tears on her cheeks, and a strange new strength that seemed wild. A spirit that
had merged indelibly with hers, and she saw a strange tranquility and
gentleness in his eyes that were not there before now.
"Will ya
end up bonding like this with him?" he asked.
"No
Logan. Not anywhere near as deeply. We're bonded in one of the most intimate
ways. Part of your memories is now part of me, and part of you is now within
me. It's not like forming a mind link or a bridge. At any time you can cross
over into my mind and I into yours�"
"You can
tell what I'm thinking?"
"Unless
you deliberately shut me out," Jean said.
"And I
can let ya know how it feels to be me," Logan laughed. Jean groaned at the
memory of her own smell, and she blinked hard.
Logan's mind
wandered, and she saw the flash of images. A redheaded woman identical in every
way to her. Pretending, and playing house. Flickers of images and great power
as Logan's memories trickled down the psi bond, and Jean experienced through
his eyes the passing of months. "Oh god," she whispered. "It was
me�"
"Wish you
had its memories. Maybe it's best ya didn't," Logan said sadly. "All
through my eyes though Red�"
"You kept
a picture of me," she said. "In the Savage Land� and you were so
hurt� an ache inside that killed you was it�"
Logan nodded.
He wiped away her tears with his finger, and cradled her on his lap. Jean
smiled and turned to kiss him. At that moment she felt sane and safe, but fear
crept in again. "He's going to look for you� beg you to come back,
right?" Logan said.
"Yes,"
she nodded. "I told him I was through, but he'll try to get me back�"
"Will ya
go back?" Logan asked.
"I don't
want to," Jean sniffled, and Logan crushed her close.
"I don't
wanna let ya go, Jeannie� but everything's telling me you WILL go back to
him�"
"I don't
know how to be with anyone else, Logan�" she admitted, voice quavering.
"I love
ya Jeannie, no matter what," Logan said, and she began to sob, and try to
pull away, but he kept her on his lap. "And if ya gotta be with him so
badly, I can't stop you�"
"You'd
let me go back to him?"
"If
that's what would make you the happiest I'd have no choice�" Logan said
gravely. "Though God knows WHY� except he can offer you stability, kids
and all that good crap I can't�"
"But what
about you and the X Men?" Jean asked. Logan made a face and groaned.
"Guess I
deserved THAT," he mumbled.
"You're
criminals, Logan. And most of the world thinks you're dead�"
"Cripes�
that wasn't MY big idea it was Ororos�" Logan said with a grimace.
"So what
are you doing back in NYC� are the X men�"
"In
various places here an there," Logan said. "Storm was pretty pissed
at me� I um� after I smelled yer scent I flipped out� and then I realized that
I'd hit her�"
"Logan�"
she groaned.
"We ain't
high on each other's popularity lists right now," said Logan. "And I
was doin' some stuff of my own that I just got back from�"
"Madripoor?"
Jean asked. "You're connected to that Tyger business�"
"Um�
yeah�"
"You
asked me about Scott. What about Mariko�" she said.
Logan looked down at his feet, and she saw that he
was at first angry at her. Yet he knew better than to be so ridiculously
unfair. "Let's just say that Mariko and I� have a difference of
opinion�"
"She
dumped you?"
"No!"
he said. "I mean� ah shit� she stood me up�"
"Logan�" she got out.
"I'm sorry� why?"
"Cause of
honor," he growled.
"Oh�"
Jean said. She saw his hurt, and then kissed him softly. He felt the pain shoot
through him, and Jean winced because it was as tangible as her own.
"So Red,
I do know what yer goin through. Cause the woman I love I can't be with� cause
of duty and that happy horseshit. I found out it was cause Mastermind screwed
with her head. Then when I challenged her she said we couldn't get married till
she had 'freed the clan from its underworld ties'�"
"She
doesn' think she's worthy of you?" Jean asked.
Logan opened his mouth, "now how did
you�"
"The
mental bond, Logan�" she said.
"It was pretty obvious from that hurt you're radiating�"
"We're a
pair, aren't we Jeannie?" he sighed.
"Both of
us are pretty much holding onto each other cause of comfort," Jean said.
"You know
something Red, I don't care at this moment because the here and now is what's
keeping me going. I've tried hard as hell to stay true to her�"
"But she
dumped YOU, Logan. If she can't see that she's worth you, than it is not YOUR
fault�"
"Anymore
than you think that you're not good enough to be sloppy seconds to Scott?"
Logan asked.
"Logan, I
can't promise anything� but at least I can TRY and be with you," Jean
said. His face brightened up.
"That's
the best offer I can expect�" he said. "And yer not just some comfort
thing cause I can't have the woman I love. I loved you long before I ever met
her�"
"One day
at a time," Jean said.
- 3
- 4
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The Old Apartment