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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant	By : TheConstant1944 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Captain America Views: 2391 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 35
- 36
- 37
Chapter Thirty-Six
The Constant & The Winter Soldier - Too Close To Home

This was to be an ordinary wake-up, nothing different from any of the ones that came before. Wake him up, programme him, get him ready for his mission, up to speed on the latest weaponry and anything else he would need and send him out.
But...
Something is not right.
He has come out of cryo freeze catatonic, and nobody seems to know why. He sits in the master chair with the doctors panicking, shouting. You have knelt at his side, talking softly to him, but you are not getting a response.
Christ, how stupid can they be? What the hell have they done now?
One of the doctors goes to sink a hypodermic needle into the Winter Soldier's right arm. You see the left one twitch and the metal hand slowly curls; you have seen that happen before. Your eyes widen and the bottom of your stomach falls but you are not quick enough to realise the danger despite the sense of dread you feel. Your mouth goes dry.
There is more wrong here than any of you know.
Before the liquid can drain into his arm the doctor is sent sprawling backwards. You try to run but the Winter Soldier has grabbed you, has grabbed your hair, and pulls you to the ground and kneels beside you. There is a scalpel in his hand, at your throat, and he is pulling your head back.
As soon as you see that look, that thin lipped smile, you know who he is. There is pure madness in his eyes.
“Hello again.” he whispers, so close that you can smell his breath.
You are aware of the doctors in the background calling for the guards. He knows he only has seconds left and he has a message for you but he doesn't need to speak, you know exactly what he wants. His face gets closer and he slackens the grip on your head but the scalpel digs into your skin and blood trickles down your neck.
He looks at her, his eyes roaming her face, her lips. Just as he remembers, just as he has dreamt about in the cold darkness.
You feel the point of the scalpel and you are sure he is going to pull it across your throat; it is sharp enough to kill you, especially with the power of his metal hand.
“Hmm, perhaps not yet,” he hisses and the pressure of the scalpel eases a little.“I want my fun first.” His grin is awful. He lowers the blade and pulls you to him and sucks at the wound in your neck, tasting your blood, sucking it. Your hands scrabble at his chest, trying to get away.
You can hear shouting in the background but also you are beginning to feel faint. He straightens and you see your blood on his lips, staining his teeth and his eyes are pure evil. He is going to hurt you.
How did this happen? How has the second personality come back? How has he taken over the Winter Soldier's body, his mind?
And more importantly, why?
A sudden electric bolt is sent up his spine and he staggers back, letting go of you completely, and then the guards are on top of him. Some of the charge has hit you as well and you feel like your teeth are on edge, your limbs tingle unpleasantly and you feel you cannot move. Another stronger bolt hits him and makes his back arch. Through it all he grins, your blood on his lips until, keeping him on his knees, they fasten his hands behind his back and one of the doctors plunges another needle into his arm. The sedation is strong, and in a moment he will be out cold.
He doesn’t stop looking at you and you can't break eye contact with him. It's as if his will is dominating you, won't let you break away.
Jakobs comes to your aid. The other doctors are talking over each other, trying to figure out what went wrong. You look over and see Lehmann. He is the only one not panicking. He sees you looking at him and turns away, but not before you see a smile on his face...as if he has learnt something interesting.
They place the Winter Soldier in a padded room in a straight jacket. Marinov stands two guards in the corridor outside; they know from days of old how dangerous this personality is.
The doctors want to do an immediate mind wipe to see if that will banish this personality, but first Lehmann tells them they need to discover how he can wake from a cryo freeze with the second personality in place. For so long now his mind has been as one; they thought that that personality had been dealt with a long time ago. No one has any ideas. Lehmann appears concerned, but you cannot forget that smile. He sets his doctors the task of finding out.
There is nothing you can do. They will not let you visit him. As the day draws to a close you go back to the quarters you normally share with him, exhausted. Your throat hurts. He bit you where he cut you and the area is puffy, red, Jakobs has given you antibiotics. Your back aches where he had hold of you and pressed you backwards. Was he trying to kill you? He could have done that so easily, but why? To show his power over you?
You have never doubted that. Nothing makes any sense.
You shower, take some pain killers and then go to bed. Part of you wants to stay awake just in case. You know what he is capable of but they have him confined, guarded he can't possibly escape. You are too tired to keep your eyes open and you fall into an uneasy sleep.
*
A noise awakens you. You are sure your door opened and closed. Were the guards checking on you? One of the doctors?
“Is anyone there?” your voice sounds frightened. There is no reply. You reach over and switch the lamp on and your heart jumps.
He cannot have got out. He was in a straitjacket. The room was locked, and guarded, but you see something that makes you turn cold with dread - there is a chair jammed under your door handle and as you turn, you see him moving towards you, fast, menacing.
You can't move. You know you should: you should scream but you have no voice. Then he is towering over you and you are shaking your head no. You hit out and try to scramble out of the other side of the bed. His left hand grabs your arm and yanks you back almost pulling your arm out of its socket.
“Oh no you don’t. I've waited a long time for this,” he growls.
He backhands you across the face and you see stars, literally.
He is fast, he grabs both your hands together pulling them above your head and with strips of cloth he ties them to the bed head.
He has come prepared.
“Please, no, no...” you are babbling; your heart is beating so fast you are sure he can hear it.
Now that you are tied down he grins and sits on the edge of the bed looking at you. He slips one hand under the covers and rests it on your belly. He can feel your warmth through the cloth of your nightgown.
“Remember me?” he asks. The look in his eyes tells you there is no escape, there is nothing you can do. “There's so much I want to do to you.” His voice is frightening and the way he looks at you is worse.
You open your mouth to scream for help but he has anticipated this and puts his metal hand over your lips.
“No you don't. It's just you and me. Nobody else is invited to this party.” He gags you with another piece of cloth.
He has never done this before. Usually he likes to hear you beg.
He removes the bed covers from you completely, but leaves the pillows under your head so you can watch what he is doing. He then takes a knife out and slits your nightdress from top to bottom, discarding the ruined material on the floor.
He runs the tip of the knife from your throat to your belly and you inhale; you can't help it. He runs the blade under the material of your pants and slits them, pulling the material away and holding the material up, smelling them, and then grins at you as he tosses them on the floor. He slips the knife behind him into the waistband of his trousers.
“You always smell so nice, so ready for me.”
He looks at you, feeling the softness of your skin with his fingers, stroking your belly. Your skin breaks out in goosebumps. You are so frightened. He can feel you trembling. You are having trouble breathing and you are trying not to gag.
You are desperately trying to think. Where are the guards? How has he escaped?
Then he moves to straddle you. The Winter Soldier likes domination, he likes to show the power he has.
He bends and pulls down the gag and before you can move away he kisses you, his tongue demanding entry into your mouth. His hands move to feel every part of you he can reach. He bites your lip and winds your hair around his hand pulling you as close to him as he possible can, driving his tongue down your throat until you are choking and trying to pull away from him to breathe.
Finally he lets go and sits back, wiping his mouth with his forearm, a look of such lust in those eyes. He is going to hurt you so very much.
“Please...” you say. You don’t want to beg but you don’t want this, not him, not this one. He smiles and reaches forward pulling up the gag again.
“Don't want anyone to hear you scream,” he whispers into your ear.
Then he moves backwards and as he does he takes off the shirt he is wearing. You know he will not strip completely as the Winter Soldier never likes to be vulnerable; to be naked is to be vulnerable. You can see his erection straining against his trousers.
He is straddling your legs, pinning them open. You cannot move. He runs his hand over your belly and down into your thatch of hair. You close your eyes.
“Look at me,” he growls.
You don’t. You don't want to.
“I said…look...at...me.” There is such menace in that voice. You open your eyes and start to cry.
His hand continues to move downwards. His fingers trace around the star branded into the top of your inside thigh, and then across to your most private parts.
“Perhaps not so ready.” You feel his fingers exploring and then he holds his hand up and rubs his fingers together.
“Not wet enough,” he says, and watches as your eyes widen.
He brings his metal hand forward and you shake your head to say no, try to beg but he watches your face as you feel the cold metal trace the path of his other hand. You feel the hardness of the fingers exploring and then plunging into you.
He closes his eyes. He can feel everything with that hand. He has wanted to do this for a long time.
He pushes his fingers in deeper and you feel the coldness inside of you. There is no warmth, just pressure and pain. You try to move but he has you pinned down. He opens his eyes to watch you, and then leans forward and as he does he pushes his hand into you.
The pain is excruciating. You feel like he is tearing you open. You can't breathe; you think you are going to be sick into the gag. Your body tries to arch up and away. You shake your head desperately but his concentration is fully focused on what he is feeling.
You feel his fingers exploring, rubbing, hurting you. You feel your skin splitting. A heat spreads across the inside of your lower belly. He pulls his hand out slowly, and as he does you feel part of the metal snag on your delicate flesh. He doesn't notice, he is too lost in wanting to be inside you, taking you, making you his.
He moves, takes out his knife and puts it on the bedside table then unzipping and pulling down the material of his trousers and shorts so he can release himself. You close your eyes and feel his erection between your legs and then he is pushing into you. It hurts; you can feel flesh tearing inside you.
You hear him groan.
“Oh yes, you liked that, you're wet now aren't you, ready for me.” The pressure on your legs diminishes as he leans forward and his body cover yours.
He is deep inside you and all you can feel is pain. You know something is desperately wrong, but you can't speak. You moan but he mistakes it for passion which just drives him on further. He sets a rhythm and his face shows how much he is enjoying being with you again, being inside you.
He groans and there is sheen of sweat on his brow. He moves again and you look up into those mad, cruel eyes.
“You let them put me in that room, you let them put me in that jacket, that wasn't very nice, not nice at all...you think I've finished with you?” he asks, enjoying the fear in your eyes as you see he has picked up the knife in his left hand. “I was once in a place where, when I wouldn't do what they wanted, do you know what they used to do to me?” he asks.
You can feel his hardness deep in you, pulsing, and you see he is holding himself to stop himself from coming too early. His breath hitches and for a moment he closes his eyes and his hand clenches the knife hard. Then he breathes out and looks at you again.
“They would place a knife blade between two of my ribs and then twist,” he is talking again. Your eyes are so wide, so full of fear and pain, he loves to see your pain, it fills him, it makes you his.
You feel his fingers skirt over your rib cage on your right hand side and you can see he is counting, then he pushes down with his fingers.
“Have to get this right. I don’t want to cut anything I shouldn't, don't want to end the fun to soon.” Then he studies you as he presses the knife blade between two of your ribs. It feels like you have been punched, the pain shoots through your torso and you try to arch up again but he is too heavy.
You hear him whisper: “Hurts, doesn't it?”
He is moving inside you again, building to his orgasm, and then just when you thought he couldn't hurt you any more, he turns the blade and pushes the two ribs apart.
Even allowing for his weight, your whole body bucks. The pain strikes through you; you scream but the gag stops any sound and he pushes himself in as deep as he can and floods you with his semen, the liquid warm and deep inside you. You feel him shuddering.
He grabs your chin and turns your face so he can watch you. The knife twists again and you are weeping, you have wet yourself, the pain is engulfing you and through it all you can feel him, deep inside you, deep inside your soul. The man you love cannot be in this monster: he cannot be here, he would not let this happen to you, he would not, could not, do this to you.
“Look at me,” you hear, your ears are buzzing, the pain in your side burning, and you do not know what is worse: that or the pain between your legs.
“Look at me,” he slaps you and you open your eyes, tears blurring your vision. He grabs you by the hair and pulls your face up. His eyes are pure madness. He searches your face and then bends and pulls the gag down and kisses you hard, splitting your bitten lip, tasting your blood, his tongue laying claim to yours.
He finally lets you go and pulls the gag back up and it starts to absorb your blood.
Then he is quiet, breathing deep as he moves away and out of you to sit up, pinning your legs again. You hear him zip himself up. He leans forward, studying you: he wants to see every part of what he has done to you, those eyes are draining you. He reaches out and tips your head up slightly. The knife is gripped in his hand and he moves it to your throat.
Kill her, that is you mission. Do it now! The voice in his head instructs him. Slit her throat. Make it final.
He puts the blade to her neck and digs it in. He can see she feels the sting of the metal as it slices her skin but he doesn't go any further. Her eyes are wide and petrified, watching him.
I can't do it. I can't do it. Why? I just need to pull the blade across. I just need to finish her.
Slowly he takes the blade away, anger flashing in his eyes, and then she realises there are tears there to.
“What have you done to me?” he asks her. “Why can't I kill you?”
He sits back and lets the knife fall. He has failed his mission. He cannot do it, he cannot kill her.
You watch the bloody knife fall to the floor.
You can hear loud thuds, voices shouting, but all your focus is on him, on what he has done to you. His body and mind are still holding you hostage, they have torn you apart.
There is a loud bang, shouting. Suddenly he is being dragged off of you.
He is shouting – no, screaming madly. There are other voices yelling, telling him to stand down, and Jakobs and Stefan desperately try to untie your arms, removing the gag from your mouth.
The guards are trying to get the Winter Soldier out of the room but he is fighting them. Jakobs swings around angrily.
“Get that psychopath out of here now!”
“God so much blood,” you hear someone say but there is something wrong with you. You want to sit up, you want to cover yourself but you can't. You can't move. Your arms and legs won't do what you tell them to. The bed clothes between your legs and under you feel wet and sticky.
“We need to get her on the table now.”
“Don't move, Freya,” someone tells you, holding you down.
You hear the Winter Soldier's screams. “Get away from her, she's mine. Touch her and you're dead...she's mine, she's my mission, she's mine!”
“You sick bastard, what did you do?” Marinov growls at him, trying to hold him, trying to get him down to his knees but he can't. The Winter Soldier is furious, spitting.
You want to talk, to ask what it was he just said. He said you were his mission - what does he mean? Then another bout of pain slices through you and you want to beg them to take away the agony, but your mouth is dry and your brain cannot form the words.
Everything is going crazy around you. You are barely conscious. There is pain everywhere and you try to curl in on yourself. Stefan is at your side, telling you everything is going to be all right, telling you that you are safe now.
He is lying.
“Don't you understand what you have done? She won't survive this! You've killed her!” Jakobs shouts at the Winter Soldier.
“I haven't. I didn't cut her throat. I didn't complete my mission. You think I don't know that she will heal. I can do what I like to her, she...belongs...to me.” he spits out. His words are disjointed.
“What? Are you that stupid? She isn't the same as you! She's just an ordinary woman! There is nothing special about her! She is going to die, you fool...you bloody madman.”
Suddenly everything is quiet. He stops fighting them, and you hear his voice.
“No...” it wavers, and then he roars: “No!”
All hell breaks loose as he goes wild and almost breaks free but he still manages to grab Jakobs by his jacket. The guards try to prise his fingers away.
“Then make her special. Make her special...if she dies I will kill all of you, all of you. I will destroy you. I will take you apart. I will destroy everything.” He is screaming now.
He has lost his mind.
One of the guards is so frightened he brings the butt of his rifle down hard on the back of the Winter Soldier's head twice, and finally he goes down.
The last thing you hear is one of the other doctors.
“Christ what a mess, what a fucking mess.”
You don’t think he means just you.
*
Hours later Jakobs is called in to see Lehmann for a progress report. The Winter Soldier is back in the padded room, back in his straight jacket, but they know he is of no danger to them. He is catatonic, lying on his side on the cot.
Jakobs sits down opposite Lehmann, the strain of the night showing on his face, his pallor grey. He has not told Lehmann what he has done. He has told no one but Stefan. Now he knows he will have to own up to it, and Lehmann will be furious. Even with what he has done he doesn’t know if she will live.
“She is alive for now...but I don’t know if she will make it,” he says, dry washing his face with his hand.
Lehmann sits back in his chair, pencil between his fingers, twirling it around and around.
“So he tried to kill her.”
Jakobs is too tired to notice it is a statement and not a question. “No...no I don’t think so.”
At this Lehmann frowns and sits forward.
“I understand he tore her apart. He tried to kill her and has more or less succeeded.”
“No...we think...” Jakobs stops and looks at Lehmann - really looks at him - and realisation dawns in his mind.
There is a moments quiet and then Jakobs also leans forward, anger flashing in his eyes, his mouth grim. “What did you do?” He remembers what the Winter Soldier had said. It had not made sense at the time.
I didn't cut her throat. I didn't complete my mission.
Lehmann smiles one of his enigmatic smiles and leans back.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he says.
“You did something.”
“Well, I think that's it for now. Let me know when things...change.” When she dies, Jakobs translates. Well, that won't happen if he can help it.
“I've given her two doses of the serum.” Jakobs says quietly.
That wipes the smile off of Lehmann's face.
“You did what?!” he asks, his voice dangerously quiet.
“It won't do anything but help her heal. She needs a fighting chance.”
“You used the formula without asking me...” Lehmann is angry now.
“Yes, I did. And what did you do without asking us?” Jakobs challenges him.
“I am Director now, you forget that. I can do what I feel is necessary and I don’t need to ask your permission, or anyone else's...”
“You still have to answer to Armin. Perhaps I should ask him to intervene?” Jakobs snarls and then tries to calm himself, realising anger will not help. Both men are quiet for a moment. “Look, it's been a long night....please just tell me. What did you do?”
Jakobs feels exhausted. This project has got so out of hand that it is unbelievable. How did he ever think he was going to make the world a better place? How did he get drawn into all this?
Lehmann watches him. He knows he still needs the help of the doctors on this project. He is also vain. Lehmann is like all people who want power: when they think they have done something clever they like to have someone to boast to.
“What did you do?” Jakobs asks again quietly.
“I made her his mission,” Lehmann says.
Jakobs closes his eyes, not wanting to believe what he has just heard. He opens them and looks at Lehmann but doesn’t say anything.
After a moments' silence Lehmann starts talking, taking pleasure in his ingenious plan. He doesn’t tell Jakobs about the visit in the night he had when the Winter Soldier had outlined what he wanted. He doesn’t tell him how he carries the scar the Winter Soldier gave him that fateful night, telling him what would happen if he refused him.
The Winter Soldier wanted her, always and forever more. If he could be made to destroy the one thing he wants more than anything in the world, then what else would he be capable of?
“After the last mission and wipe I wanted to see if it was possible to programme the Winter Soldier before putting him into cryo-freeze, and so we did. I made the Constant...” he never calls her by her name. “...his next mission, so that when he woke up he would kill her.”
“But for God's sake...why?” Jakobs asks.
“Because he is dependant on her, that's why. We should never had agreed to Zola's idea of a Constant, it makes him weak. I have to admit though, I thought he would just shoot her or use a knife and cut her throat.”
Jakobs cannot believe what he is hearing. He is struggling to keep his anger in check. He knew Lehmann disliked Freya but she had worked by his side all these years, done everything expected of her. For Lehmann to be so cold...it beggars belief.
“But then we would have no Constant,” he says.
“If he killed her then we could do anything with his mind, programme him to believe anything. We can find another woman, one who doesn't...care so much for him, one whose loyalty is to Hydra not to...Barnes.”
Jakobs cannot believe the man is so blind.
“She is his Constant. She has been there from the moment he was lost. You cannot just replace her with anyone. You programmed him to kill her and he couldn't do it. He could not kill her. He believed she is the same as him, that she had the serum inside her, that she will heal. You should have seen him, should have heard him when he found out she was like the rest of us. He went mad, threatened to destroy us all, threatened to hunt our families down. He was raving in pure and utter madness.”
He can see he has not gotten through to Lehmann. “It sounds to me like he tried to kill her. You said he tore her apart.”
“Because he thought she couldn't die!” Jakobs breathes in deeply pinching the skin between his eyes and then looking back at Lehmann. “All you've done is split his personality again. He couldn't do what you programmed. You've gone backwards, that is all you have done.”
Lehmann just looks at him. Jakobs sighs.
“You will never understand, will you? She gives him something to focus on, something to carry on for: she is his and his alone. Everyone needs someone...even the Winter Soldier,” he says quietly.
This argument isn't the first one between them on the subject of the Constant, and Jakobs doubts it will the last - unless she dies.
Lehmann has not finished trying to get his point across. “Think man, think. If he had killed her it means he would do anything...literally anything we instruct him to do.” Lehmann's eyes glitter and Jakobs sees the pure greed for power in them.
“But he didn't do it, did he?”
“Well, that is a matter of opinion...”
“No you don’t understand...” Jakobs sits forward again. “All you did was split his mind again. He couldn't do it. You pushed him too far, the programming didn't take.”
“Of course it did, he...” Lehmann frowns as his mind works on what Jakobs has said but Jakobs has not finished.
“Every time we bring him out of cryo freeze he remembers her. Not a great deal but he knows her, like a forgotten memory. She calms him. Every time you programme him he treats her like a stranger but his memories of her always start surfacing, always. She is ingrained into him, into his psyche.” He talks as his thoughts are coming to him, trying to get through to Lehmann. “He couldn't do it...he couldn't kill her. Couldn't cope with the thought of killing her so he brings back the most violent part of his psyche because he is trying to fulfil his programming, to fulfil his mission. This is the only part of him that he can't control, but that part of him didn't realise she wasn't the same as him. In some messed up way, he thought she is part of Zola's plan and so anything he did to her she would survive. Only now...now he knows she isn't...he knows she can die and his mind has just given way.”
Up to now the Winter Soldier has been used for assassinations, but Lehmann has always planned bigger. What if they created an army of programmed soldiers who would do anything? Would go into battle and decimate everyone, the enemy, civilians, everyone who opposed them?
How much power would that give Hydra?
How much power would that give him?
But Lehmann is a scientist foremost and what Jakobs is saying begins to make sense even to him and he gets a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach. He was so sure about this plan. It would have shown they could programme him at any time, with any command, and it would get rid of his problem of the Constant.
“Anyone that deep in his psyche, he can't kill. At the end of the day you forget, he is human.” Jakobs finishes. If Lehmann can't see it now he never will.
“Then it's lucky she's the only one,” Lehmann says quietly to himself, not knowing he is wrong.
He is very wrong.
There are two people to ever get that deep into the psyche of the man they know as the Winter Soldier. One is his Constant...and the other is someone that meant so much to James Barnes that he will always be a part of him no matter what. The Winter Soldier does not remember him now, but one day he will.
One day the memories will fight back and win...but that day is a long way off.
Jakobs asks him a question which shakes him out of his reverie. He frowns to indicate he didn't hear what the question was.
“I asked why? Why do you hate her so much? I don't understand. She's just a nurse. She does everything she is told. Her only crime is that she cares about him.”
Lehmann looks at him.
“It is not her I hate; it's what she represents. What she stands for. Love.” And he makes a disparaging noise. “Love is a weakness not to be tolerated. There are bleeding hearts like her's all over the world, they care for people, they care for peace but what has that ever got them? I tell you what. Nothing! A big fat zero. She loves Barnes...” And here he laughs bitterly. “You think that will get her anywhere? You think it will give her anything? No, she is an idiot like the rest of them out there. They can't even look after themselves, they have no direction. And her type are the worst.”
“And you have direction? You have what you really want?” Jakobs asks, but he sees the light of madness in Lehmanns eyes...no, not madness: pure and utter greed.
“When this world is ours we will have everything and they will have nothing, nothing! They will be like cattle - there to feed and clothe us. She loves Barnes and do you know who Barnes is? Who he actually is? He is a soldier who fought against us. His so called, best friend...his lover...Captain America, killed our leader, killed Johann Schmidt, the one person who mattered, the one person who had vision. He had such a dream, such plans, and Rogers killed that. I only wish Rogers was still alive to see what I have turned his lover into. To see how Barnes will avenge Schmidt's murder on the whole world. If you think I will let a two bit whore destroy my plans then you are mistaken.”
Jakobs sits there for a moment stunned. He doesn't know what to say. The passion coming out in Lehmann's voice is disturbing.
“She is not a whore,” he says weakly. “She is just a woman who loves a man.”
Lehmanns sneers.
“Are you sure about that? She's weak. Her weakness is a disease. Be sure, Eric, that you are not succumbing to that weakness yourself.”
Jakobs does not trust himself to reply. He looks at the floor, his mind working.
“And Eric...” Lehmann says and Jakobs looks at him. There is a cold look on Lehmann's face and he leans forward.
“This is the second time you have crossed me. There will not be a third. Do I make myself clear?”
Jakobs nods and stands. He is too tired to argue any more, so tired his whole body and mind aches to sleep. He will call in and check on Freya and then go to his room. Stefan will stay by her side and call him if anything happens.
At the door he turns back to Lehmann.
“You had better start praying that she lives because if she doesn’t, Project Winter Soldier will crash and burn around you and then where will you be in the Hydra food chain? Where will you be in your new and marvellous world?”
Then he opens the door and leaves closing the door quietly behind him.
*
After a long two days, Jakobs believe they have turned a corner. With the help of the serum Freya is healing, but she has not regained consciousness. Whilst the serum in her body is just enough to help in the repairing, it is not enough to help her over the obstacles it actually causes. Her body burns at such a heat they have to keep sacks of ice on hand to apply to prevent her mind from burning up.
The Winter Soldier is awake but unresponsive. They have tried to get him to talk, tried to figure out what is going on in his mind, but he does not reply. He is still in a straight jacket; they do not know which personality is in control. They have attached him to a drip to keep his body hydrated. He simply lies still on the cot.
After making the usual checks one of the guards is just leaving the room when he hears the Winter Soldier mutter something. He turns and walks back over, keeping his hand on his side arm even though there cannot be any danger.
The Winter Soldier looks up, the first time he has made any sign of movement.
“Jakobs. I want to speak to Jakobs,” he says. His voice rusty, his Russian near-perfect. The language is second nature to him now.
The Winter Soldier looks away and the guard leaves. He picks up one of the phones in the corridor and phones Lehmann. After a short discussion he is told to fetch Jakobs to the Winter Soldier's room.
Once there, the Winter Soldier actually reacts and with difficulty swings around to sit up on the bed. Jakobs helps him by releasing the jacket's straps, making it easier for the Winter Soldier to move. Jakobs helps him knowing somehow he is of no danger to him. The Winter Soldier wants him there for a reason.
“How is she?” The Winter Soldier asks Jakobs.
Jakobs studies him. The man looks awful: hollow stubbled cheeks, black bags under bloodshot eyes, cracked lips. Before putting him in the jacket they disconnected his arm from its power source, it is dead and Jakobs can see that the weight of the metal is making the him lean to the side. He can see the pain the weight is causing him in his face. A normal human being would not be able to carry that weight, yet alone support it.
He cannot work out which personality he is talking to.
“She will live,” he says and, entirely without wanting it, pity wells up inside him for this broken soldier.
There is silence for a short while.
“I want to see her,” he says quietly.
“That's not possible.”
“So she is dead and you're keeping it from me.”
“No, but she isn't out of the woods yet. She is unconscious.”
Silence.
“You have to understand you hurt her badly. She isn't like you. She isn't part of the programme, and so she can be wounded just like any other human being...but she will survive this.” Jakobs feels he needs to give him something to focus on.
Silence.
Jakobs thinks he has finished talking and he gets up.
“Let me see her...please.” The last word is spoken with such anguish.
Jakobs walks to the door.
“Please.”
This time the word stops him in his tracks. He can't ignore it. He knows how much this man means to Freya, and deep down he thinks he knows how much she means to him. This is the part of Jakobs that sets him apart from Lehmann, this is the part of him that makes him still human.
He goes back to the man and crouches down so he can look him in the eyes.
“If I take you to see her you will not try and hurt her. If you do, I will get them to shoot you through the head. Is that understood?”
The Winter Soldier's eyes are deep and black.
“You will keep the jacket on and there will be an armed guard with us all the time. I will not allow you into her room. You can see from the doorway...understood?”
“I want to touch her...to know that she's alive.”
“Do you remember what it was that you did to her? Do you? You violated her using your metal hand, you tore her up inside...you jammed a knife into her ribs and forced them apart...you raped her. And you want me to let you near her?!” Jakobs looks down. It is no good getting angry with this soldier, he was trying to do what Lehmann programmed him to do in the only way he knew how.
They are both silent for a moment.
“I will not harm her.” The Winter Soldier says quietly, and Jakobs looks up. “I have never lied to you.”
Jakobs can see now is talking to the violent one. He can see it in the way his face looks, his eyes so deep and black and that cruelness which shows even now.
“And afterwards, you wipe me...wipe me and put me back to sleep. I don’t want to feel like this...I don’t want to hurt her again,” he finishes, and Jakobs knows he can believe him. He is telling the truth.
He has let Jakobs see him. The real him. He is being as honest as he can, and despite the madness in those eyes he can see a depth of sadness he wouldn't of thought this personality could feel. He had seen it once before, when he told him after the attack that Freya was human and was going to die.
He has promised to report to Lehmann and he does, arguing that they must let him see her. Lehmann gives in and agrees and then afterwards they will wipe him. The wipe will be a full one, will banish this personality back to where it came from.
Two guards walk either side of them, and two guards are stationed outside Freya's hospital room, and two guards inside. Stefan will not leave her side.
They have removed the Winter Soldier's straight jacket after all, Jakobs orders. They also allow him into the room. Jakobs believes he will not hurt her.
The soldier looks down at the damage he has wrought and inside his heart breaks into pieces, but he says nothing. This personality knows once they wipe him then the Winter Soldier will not remember any of this. His heart will mend. His world will become normal again.
He reaches out and Jakobs shakes his head as Stefan steps forward. The Winter Soldier gently strokes her hair and her cheek then pulls his hand away.
He nods to Jakobs.
“Now wipe me. Make me forget.” he says.
*
In his office, Lehmann finishes his personal statement and adds it to the file.
TOP SECRET
To all future Directors
Subject: The Constant
It is highly recommended that in no way do you ever try and separate the Winter Soldier from the Constant. Regrettably, it appears she is the one thing that keeps him stabilised and focused. Without her the subject becomes unstable, violent and non-programmable and will need to be put down with extreme prejudice.
If there are any future projects such as this I would recommend from the start finding an alternative method to using a Constant as this leaves a trace of human feeling in the subject which should not be allowed to exist.
Director Nikolay Lehmann
Project Winter Soldier
The problem with people like Lehmann is that they are ever-resourceful, forever looking at ways of controlling people. He already uses the Constant to achieve what he wants. He knows he does not need to programme the Winter Soldier to love her: he does so already, it is ingrained and Lehmann will continue to use this to his advantage.
As Jakobs reminded him they know that the programming does not last indefinitely, there is never a specific time frame before his memories start to try to break through, before feelings begin to surface.
They need the Winter Soldier's anger, his drive, even his paranoia. It helps fulfil the missions they send him on.
As part of the programme they always programme him to think the Constant is no one to him, a whore they have hired to look after his needs. When his memories of her start to surface they know the programming is beginning to break down.
They will know exactly when to wipe him.
Everyone has their uses. Even Freya.
*
When Freya awakens, Jakobs is there. His smile is one of such relief she realises this man is her friend, realises they are beginning to mean something to one another. She feels like she has been hammered into the ground, and he tells her to sleep.
When she wakes the next time, her head is clearer. He helps her drink. He is honest with her, tells her what he has had to do to save her life, but explains that it will just help her healing process in the future. There is nowhere near enough of Zola's serum inside her to even begin to cause her the problems the Winter Soldier has.
Her first question is about the Winter Soldier. Where was he? How is he? Was he hurt?
Jakobs tells her the truth. He has been wiped and put back into cryo. It will not happen again.
“It wasn't his fault,” he says.
“Was it mine?” she asks, closing her eyes, but Jakobs touches her and she opens her eyes to find him looking at her.
“No. Neither of you is to blame. It's this place. It's Hydra and Lehmann. Don’t ever think it is you or...James. It was something to do with his programming but as I said it won't happen again,” he says.
And she tries to smile but instead bursts into tears and Jakobs reaches out, takes her into his arms and holds her as she weeps.
She is so tired, so bruised, she doesn’t know how she is going to cope. How will she ever trust the Winter Soldier? She feels they have taken James away from her all over again. She remembers how he changes the longer he is out of cryo, how he begins to remember her when the programming begins to wane, the last time when he told her she was his woman and it makes her cry harder.
“James,” she cries quietly.
Jakobs cannot promise her things will get better. Cannot promise her anything so he rocks her back and forwards and holds her whilst she weeps so she knows she isn't alone.
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A Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Fic - The Constant