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Fix Him	By : Strailo Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 10082 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title: Fix Him
Fandom: Avengers
Chapter: 35
Character: Phil, Clint, Original female characters
Word count: 1.535
AN: Aww, poor boys. :P
Tony, leave them alone.
*~*~*~*
Muttering about idiots and people who had to shove their noses into people’s business where it wasn’t wanted, Couslon pulled on a tie and straightened it as he glared at the mirror, Barton following his example. “Why did we agree to this?” he muttered, glaring at the suit that he was putting on.
“Because Tony is really damn good at guilt tripping us into doing just what he wants us to do,” Barton drawled as he pulled on his jackets and buttoning them up before smirking at the other man. “So, we’ll play nice and take these girls out, who are probably rather vapid to say the least, and get through dinner,” he continued as he pulled on his jacket and grabbed his things.
Barton left first, Coulson following soon after to pick up their so called dates, the two men having a feeling that it would be a disaster night.
Sighing as he pulled up to the apartment that he was supposed to pick up his so called date up from, he slid out of his car and walked up to the door way, ringing the bell with a frown. The house wasn’t bad looking, very nice and simple in the middle of one of the richest neighborhoods, and well taken cared of.
But he still didn’t like it. It was probably because of the fact that through the window next to him he could see a sea of pink.
Shuddering, Coulson schooled his face into a pleasant smile as his ‘date’, such as she was, came strolling down the stairs and opened the door to admit him into the house. She wasn’t bad looking all things considered. Soft blond hair that seemed natural was cut into a stylish pixie cut while her dress, a dark rose pink that curled around her frame and split up one leg, exposing the lean strength that spoke of a dancer.
“I shall be ready in a moment. Would you like a drink?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she smiled with pretty pink lips. Coulson smiled a bit wider and shook his head.
“No thank you. I need to drive and I plan on having my drink at dinner,” he stated, clearly not happy but the woman missing it. “Your name is Miranda, correct?” he asked, making sure he had the right name and woman.
“That’s me,” Miranda chirped as she moved to the stairs again, heading to grab her jacket. Once she was up the stairs, Coulson allowed his smile to drop and rub at his face with a grimace. She was perky and bright and by the sounds of it, a ditz. He hated ditzes. He wasn’t like Tony and neither was Barton.
Thinking of the man, he pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket and checked the text messages that he knew he had gotten, the phone set on vibrate. Snickering softly, he read the complaints of a dipshit date who didn’t know a ballet from an opera and responded back to the text’s, telling him to suck it up. Smiling at his date as she came down in a long jacket that looked like fur, but felt fake in his hands, he lead her out to the car and helped her into it.
The rest of the night went somewhat okay, considering she did most of the talking while they were at dinner and then looked bored as they watched the play that Tony had chosen for them. Coulson found the play rather interesting considering it was one of the rare Shakespeare plays that were running around once more, even with her hand continually trying to find a place on his leg near his groin.
After the play, he drove her home and walked her to her door, his face going blank at the flirtatious smile on her lips as she played with a bit of hair, trying to look flirty. “Do you think you would like to come inside for a little while?” she asked, one hand coming to rest on Coulson’s chest as she smiled once more.
“I think not,” he stated, taking her hand and removing it. His phone decided to vibrate then, prompting him to reach into his pocket and pull it out, reading over what Barton had to say. According to his text, he had had to tell his ‘date’ that he was dating another male and she had freaked out, trying to hit him before calling Tony as he had left.
It looked as if they were going to have some explaining to do since he had stated that he was dating Coulson. Sighing, the handler tucked his phone and raised an eyebrow at the pissy look on Miranda’s face as she glared at him, hazel eyes narrowed and arms crossed.
“You keep looking at that damn phone like it’s more interesting than me,” Miranda growled, Coulson just giving her a cool look before shrugging one shoulder.
“It quite frankly is. To be truthful, Stark set this up that I couldn’t get out of the date with you without insulting him in some way. And quite frankly, I don’t like insulting Stark like that. Yes, I’ll insult him in some other way, but that is my prerogative as the Avenger’s handler,” Coulson stated, smoothing down the lapel of his tuxedo. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going home to my boyfriend, a hot shower and great sex. Possibly a pouty Tony as to why we didn’t tell him that we were dating,” he continued, smirking as he left her standing there. She gave a wordless screech of displeasure and slammed into her house, probably going to call Tony and bitch at him.
Shaking his head, Coulson drove home and headed up to the apartment, wanting a shower and nothing more. Once he was in the apartment, he smiled at his lover and pulled him close, the two sharing a slow kiss and wrapping each other up in their arms. “Damn, the date was a disaster,” Barton groaned, hanging onto his lover tightly as he shuddered.
“What happened? You didn’t exactly give me all of the details,” Coulson chuckled, tugging off his jacket and tie before pulling Barton to their couch and sprawling out on it with the archer against him.
“She was very…insistent that I call her Coco even though her name is actually Tiffany. Apparently her mother is a big fan of the Tiffany Jewelry and named her kids after some of the lines that come from then. Not only that, but she was very touchy all through the day. It was like she was trying to call into my tux,” Barton moaned, using his lover as a body pillow. He had discarded his own jacket, tie and shoes earlier, leaving him in a partially unbuttoned shirt and pants.
“I know that feeling. I went with a woman named Miranda, who apparently owns a series of jewelry shops scattered around the country. I have learned more about her than I care to know,” Coulson snorted, the two trading information about what they learned about their dates as they waited for Tony to arrive, if not the rest of the Avengers to get there.
They had known that eventually it would come out but for the moment they could care less about how it was happening as long as they didn’t have to worry about Tony or anyone else setting up another date on them again. They didn’t have to wait for long for the Avengers to arrive, the group knocking on the door before letting themselves in with wide eyes. Except Natasha.
She was just smirking wildly at them. Which made the two men share looks, knowing that she did know about them but hadn’t said anything about it before the two men were ready for them to know.
“So, I just got calls from not only Coco, but Miranda to about how you’re both…gay?” Tony asked, voice sounding surprised as he walked into the living room, finding the two laid out on their couch and giving him bored looks.
“That’s because we are gay. For each other at least,” Coulson stated before returning to the TV that he was watching, something or another about Ghosts playing on the screen and amusing them to no end. “We’ve been together for a while now if you must know. We just never told anyone.”
Barton looked up from his spot with a smirk on his lips as he gazed at the others. He watched as Bruce blinked rapidly as his mind tried to compute just what he had learned and Steve was just staring at them in shock. Tony had gone still while Natasha joined them in watching the show.
“I knew about it,” she said, almost as if it was just a quick thought that she had before continuing to watch the show. Steve, Tony and Bruce swung their eyes to her, blinking several times and wondering if they had missed something before deciding that Coulson and Barton were just that good at hiding and lying when they wanted to do so.
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Fix Him