Circle Of Fear

AN: Yeah! See! More! I'm really liking this fic.

--The past mistakes have brought you here. I'll break the fall for you, my dear. I'll ask the nurse for bandages, and send me on my way. Rescue me, from everything. I just wanna live, I wish I could breathe.--
Rescue Me, Hawthorne Heights

Remy woke up with a crick in his neck, both legs asleep. He glanced down at the sleeping girl in his arms. That pill he had given her was stronger than the first sedative Hank had given her. She'd wake up in time for lunch. In the meantime, he had to go and find the Beast so the tests could be run.

“So you stayed with her all night long.” Hank eased the girl onto the MRI table. Remy shrugged and scurried behind the glass. Presently, the doctor came in and began pressing buttons.

“You was tired. Remy thought ya d'served a break.” he tried to play it off, blowing some of his auburn hair out of his eyes.

“I see,” the big blue man sounded amused. “And do tell me just what connection you feel to this girl.”

“Ain't no c'nnection. Plain sympathy.”

“There is too,” he squinted at the screen, showing sections of her brain.

“Is not,”

“Is too. The Gambit I know would never lower himself to wearing wrinkled clothes and tangled hair in the morning when someone could see him. The Gambit I know would have left the girl early this morning to go shower, change, and comb his hair.”

“Couldn't leave her 'lone.” Gambit muttered. “Bebe scared,”

“Wait... What? Oh fuck,” Collette's voice came from the microphone inside the MRI. “Let me out. Let me out. I said no. Let me out. Let me out.” she began to flail inside the machine.

“Collette, Collette,” Hank clicked on his microphone. “It's just us. We're not going to hurt you.”

“Why would you put me in here asleep? Is this some kind of a sick joke?” her voice was reaching fever pitch.
“Goddammit, I can hear them, okay? I can fucking hear them. Oh, take me out and make it stop. Give me another pill. Make it stop, make it stop.”

“Cherie!” Gambit's voice, firm and yet gentle. “Stop dat nonsense.”

“Where the hell have you been?” she hissed. “You left me all alone.”

“I've been here dis whole time.”

“I couldn't find you.” the girl sniffled. Hank was shutting down the machine, pulling out the table. Collette sat up, crossing her arms and seeming to shrink into the hospital gown. Remy was out there in a minute, his hands on his hips.

“You t'ink Remy leave ya?”

“Well, you weren't there when I woke up. I woke up in a goddamn machine.”

“Language, Collette, language.” Beast held out a furry finger. Collette turns a gaze of hellfire towards him. He actually took a step back. Her eyes were the prettiest shade of green, almost like moss. But they looked like they could burn if she wanted them to.

“Letty,” the nickname fell off the Cajun's tongue easily. “Don't'cha trust Remy?”

“Why should I?”

“B'cause I stayed with ya all night long.”

“But you weren't there when I woke up. How am I supposed to know what's real an what's not? I'm crazy, remember? I just got pulled out of the insane asylum.” she began to tremble. She curled into a ball on the table, hands clamped over her ears.

“Best get de Professor.” Remy murmured.

“I could give her another sedative.” Hank went for a bottle in his pocket.

Remy glanced at Collette. Her hair was tangled, falling in her face. Her skin was pale and thin looking. Her body trembled, and though she tried to keep herself quiet, the tiniest sobs and whimpers were escaping her lips. Remy cocked his head to the side, watching her. Those green eyes lifted and locked with his. He saw the way she took her pills last night, swallowing them dry and lifting her tongue to show what a good girl she was.

“Non,” he held out an arm to block Beast.

“Oh, you can give it to her.” he held out the bottle. Remy shook his head.

“She don't need no more pills.”

“We've got to calm her down.”

“Remy calm the bebe down.”

“Remy, I appreciate your effort but I really think--,” the doctor began. Remy turned to look at him. The look on his face was pure determination.

“How ya think she gonna learn trust us, you keep shovin' dem pills down her throat?” he shook his head. “Let Remy deal with dis.”

“Okay.”

“Bring her some chamomile tea. Dat settle her nerves.”

“Okay, and I'll go get the Professor.” Hank hurried out of the room.

Remy crossed the room and dropped to his knees next to her. She didn't move from her fetal position. He could feel the fear, the aching come off her in waves. And yet, underneath it all was the tiniest spark of hope. They could save her. She wanted to be saved.

“Poor bebe,” he whispered. Collette looked up at him. “Remy knows 'bout de voices.”

“Can you make them stop?”

“I'll do my best.” he reached out and peeled her fingers from her ears. He brushed her hair out of her face.
“Remy will do ever't'ing he can.”

“Do you promise?” her voice, though rough and trembling, was powerful. There was a demand in that voice, in her tone.

“Oui,”

“Say it!” tears flooded her eyes. “I need you to say those words. Say it, Remy.”

“Oui, oui, m'sweet. Remy promises. Remy promises.”

**

Collette was sitting up, wrapped in a robe and sipping a cup of tea. Remy was sitting behind her, combing out the black hair as gently as he could. Xavier was watching the pair with interest.

“Dr. McCoy tells me that you had a problem this morning, Collette.” he said pleasantly. The girl looked ashamed.

“I woke up and didn't know where I was. I couldn't find Remy. I freaked out. I'm sorry.”

“Professor, ya can't keep shovin' dem pill down her throat.”

“No, you're right, Remy.” Xavier rolled across the room. He caught her chin, looking at her carefully.
“We've got to teach her to deal with the voices on her own.”

“Sometimes, Professor, I have these moments, when I think I'm going to look up and you're all going to be gone. And I'll be back in State Asylum.”

“Collette,” he sounded heartbroken, sad for her.

“Professor, I hate this feeling...” she trailed off. Her hands reached up to touch Xavier's. The words were inside of her, in her heart. He smiled at her, willing her to speak. But it was Remy who managed to coax them out of her.

“Speak, m'sweet.” his hands gripped her shoulders.

“I hate this feeling that I can't trust myself. I can't trust anything I see or hear. I don't know if it's real, of if it's something that my mind made up to mess with me. I hate not being able to know what's real and what's not. I don't even feel like I'm alive anymore.” Collette took a deep breath.
“I just want to feel sane again. I want to feel in control. I just want to look at something and know it's really there. I just want to be able to trust the sound of my own voice, of your voice. I just want to know that—that it isn't just something that's made up to hurt me.”

It was the most words she'd spoken at once since they hauled her out of the asylum. The sincerity, the hurt in them rang in their ears. It was all Remy could do not to catch her in his arms and hold her tightly against his chest.

“You're not crazy, Colette.”

“You told me that before, sir. And I want to believe you, I really do. I wish I wasn't crazy, I want to be sane more than I've ever wanted anything before. But every single doctor. Every psychiatrist... They can't all be wrong.... Can they?”

“They can be. They are,” he tipped her chin up again. “You are NOT crazy, Collette Mihserie. I promise.”

She smiled then, a sweet, shy smile.

“Then save me.”