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Acceptance	By : ScereyahaDreamweaver Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 3928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel (nor the avengers, nor science boyfrinds), It's fandom, nor theses characters, just this interpretation of their relationship, I make no money from this.

Chapter List
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Anthony approached him. Bruce looked aggravated and unimpressed still, but his position next to the bed implied that he would entertain him, so long as Anthony deferred to him and stopped arguing. Anthony could not help but smirk a little defiantly in the face of this passive aggressive treatment, especially since Bruce now had to tilt his chin upwards to maintain proper eye contact. He undressed him methodically; thinking all the while on what he could do to get what he wanted.
Bruce let himself be undressed before returning the favour with far more tugging and pushing than necessary. He pushed Anthony down to the bed. He expected Anthony to comply, to give him that glazed look and wrap his legs around him. Instead, he found himself on his back. He pushed him back up and tried again, this time trying to nudge his knees apart, and ended up straddled over Anthony’s lap. He got up and tried to turn Anthony onto his stomach, but ended up pulled down and rolled on top of, Anthony grinding against him and humming happily. He shoved against the bed, and Anthony let him up again. Anthony was not letting Bruce get the advantage he needed. He did not know what weird little game of dominance his partner was playing at, but it seemed as simple as telling him, in action rather than words, that if he wanted sex, if he wanted to be on top, he would have to be a lot more forceful about it. Considering the disagreement they were having, this was the absolute fastest way to get under his skin.
“Anthony, if you don’t stop pushing my buttons…" he began, standing from the bed.
It was then that he realized that was the exact point of what Anthony was doing, of everything he had been doing that day. He was being difficult for the very purpose of driving him into an aggravated state, trying to get his way again, trying to trade Banner for the hulk, trying to make him change. He knew Anthony loved them both, and did not want to ever be without him, but it still made him feel hot. He felt his jaw tense. He could not help it. All the anger that Anthony had been slowly cultivating all day was flooding back all at once. He watched his lover stand from the bed and walk close enough that he was forced to look up at him again.
“That’s what you want though isn’t it? You want it big and rough.” His tone was humourless and aggressive, almost contemptuous.
It was a pointed comment, meant to make him blush, feel embarrassed, think twice even, and yet it did not seem to phase him. His hand was now tensed at his side, clutching at the idea that his alter ego was somehow undeserving of this loving attention from his lover.
He realized on some level it was ridiculous. The hulk was part of his self, and yet he so often thought of him as competition for his loved ones, and was cruel to himself -in essence- over it. Of course, people had often enough given him a reason, always choosing one of them over the other; not Anthony though. Anthony was happy to love them both equally, because to Anthony they were the same person, more so then they were even in his own mind. He tried so hard to define himself as separate, divided from all the things in him he could not stand, his contempt for himself growing on both sides of the line. With Anthony that seemed a silly thing to do, and he wanted to let it fall away. He actually wanted the division to stop mattering to himself. It was hard though, admitting to having been wrong about himself, his other self, admitting that he was causing himself unnecessary strain and hardship; accepting responsibility for the trouble he had caused with his own lack of self acceptance, and -finally- accepting himself. He wanted to be proven wrong, but he still had to resist, test it, make acceptance prove itself, not just roll over and let it win.
Therefore, he caught himself there, trying to push self-doubt onto Anthony to escape from -or justify- his own, and he hated that he was doing it. This all melted into a sense of aimless frustration, he looked around trying to figure out what to do with the tension, how to express himself physically in some way that was appropriate. Anthony spoke, taking his tense hand, saving him from having to decide what he should do with it.
“I want you. All of you. Every part of you. I miss the parts of you that you try to hide from me." he said, his tone as matter-of-fact as it tended to be in his rare moments of complete sincerity.
Bruce heard his statement as he did few things, it did not just have his attention as mere words spoken, it had the attention of everything in him; the sentiment of it shooting straight through the barrier, breaking across all the lines he had drawn in his mind. He was suddenly, at the same time, both Banner and the hulk; Banner wanting to cry in frustration and gratitude, confused, and Hulk wanting out to show him how he appreciated it. That was Banner’s problem, he always forced himself to use words so much -all that talk- that when it came time for action, he never knew what to do. Hulk knew what to do of course; he knew it was time for acting and feeling, reacting, rather than talking, thinking and judging.
Anthony watched as Bruce stared at him, holding his tense hand still. Bruce had stopped entirely, seemed frozen in place by his words. Anthony had meant to affect him, but he was not prepared for the green eyes staring back at him. His expression was desperate, and he was so still, as if he was holding his breath teetering on the edge. All he needed was a touch; the lightest brush would be the push he needed to fall. He wanted to push him. Anthony stepped forward and kissed him, holding onto green eyes with his own.
Bruce collapsed as he changed, the emotional pause giving him the loss of traction that he needed to let go, willingly, let it happen; not for battle nor conflict, but just to be himself, all of himself, for Anthony, for pleasure, because it felt good. He pulled the release latch, with finger print recognition, on the monitoring device, and it fell beside him. He could share, it would be silly not to, for who in their right minds could not share with themselves. He was on his knees by the time he was finished changing. It was the smooth change that happened when he let it, and he let Anthony kiss him as it happened; kissing Banner and Hulk, and everything in between. Then suddenly he was big and green and had his lithe, pretty boyfriend in his hands, his boyfriend who missed him and wanted his attention. He found it was similar to before, when he allowed the change willingly he seemed to be more aware in his own mind. This certainly seemed the healthier way to stay connected with his alternate selves. Bruce could see the compassion and affection that he had for Anthony as his other self, and the attention he took in loving him properly and with due care. Maybe that, more than anything would help him in accepting himself. He rested his hands on the back of Anthony’s hips and kissed him back before he lowered his forehead to his chest and just held him possessively.
“Hulk misses you too. Banner tries to keep you all to himself, greedy, puny, little…” Bruce let himself be interrupted.
“But I’m yours too. And I think he’s kind of starting to get that.” Anthony said, wrapping his arms over his neck.
Anthony was only taller than him, so long as Bruce stayed on his knees, as he was. He had not expected a willing change to be the result of what he had said, but it was -in the end- what he had been after. He felt odd referring to Bruce as two separate people, and wondered if he really aught to be doing that at all. Even he tended to talk to Dr. Banner as though he was the master personality, the adult between the two of them, but even that was not entirely fair. Really, he should be speaking to Hulk as though his acceptance of himself was equally important, and not tiptoe around him any more than he did his other persona. The hulk was, after all, as much a part of Bruce as the rest of him, and as much a person, possibly with even more life experience than his original persona. They had each over sixty years of life experience to draw from, between the current timeline and the others they remembered, and even if Anthony divided Bruce’s years between his two main aspects, that still left them roughly thirty each, and him and Anthony had both lived very full lives. People often treated the hulk as childish or simple, primarily because of how he often articulated -or did not bother to, as the case may have been- but he was not, not by any means. He just had a unique and strongly one-sided approach to things. People treated him as unreasonable, and yet he reasoned, even more than he would admit to, feeling his way through it more than thinking logically, but those were two aspects of the very same, as far as Anthony was concerned. Anthony did not want to come across as treating his perspective or person with any less weight or sincerity than his other; both because he valued him just as much, and also because he thought Hulk would be right to be upset with him if he did. He pulled back and kissed his forehead.
“So, you’ll be alright with this later?” Anthony asked him, earning a huff.
“Banner knows Tony is for Hulk too." he said, rolling his eyes, still looking, for all the world, as though he wanted to trail off complaining about his alter ego again.
Bruce, now, would agree that his own unwillingness to share his lover with himself was ridiculous, and he would tell his other persona so himself, in none too polite terms. This, however, was better; getting to show him, knowing Banner would squirm about it later, if not in the back of his mind now. It was far more satisfying to defy him in this way. He tugged at the front of Anthony’s shirt and helped him remove it. He wanted his skin, and to see the light of the reactor shinning unhindered. It was a bright light, and could often be too much, but it was also a pretty, softly humming, blue that was familiar and comforting somehow. It was as though so long as that little light was shinning, he could trust that Anthony was okay. He felt Anthony’s contented hum mix with the subtle vibration of the reactor against his lips as he kissed across his chest. An impulse in the back of his mind felt abashed, and he knew it was his other self, embarrassed to be watching-in a sense- but either unwilling or unable to lose awareness of what was going on; to stop watching. He smiled to himself, as one would, musing over an inside joke. He wanted Banner to watch Anthony willingly give himself to him, just the same as he would Banner; wanted him to see how much Anthony enjoyed it. It became a personal goal, at that point, to drag as much loudly expressed euphoria as he could out of his lover.
Anthony noticed he was quite careful to never put pressure against him from opposing directions at the same time, but press against him he did. He had been ready to tease and seduce his way into getting what he wanted, but now he suddenly felt incapable of moving, his planned and plotted approach melting out of his brain as large, warm and rough everything firmly caressed him. He wanted more, faster, having anticipated this all day, but he was reluctant to take control of anything right then, wanting to defer entirely to his lover. He did not want to discourage him if he had finally gotten over his trepidation enough to be assertive in this state. He felt like he was melting off his feet, suddenly, but would not let himself fall, so instead leaned heavily on Bruce.
Bruce loved the breathy sounds he was dragging out of him. He felt giddy in the knowledge of what he was going to be doing, and how his other self was likely to feel about it. It was not just vindictive passion though. He loved the game of dominance they played; Anthony was often assertive but traded back and forth between dominating and submissive, dragging the same thing out of Banner, though the coy doctor was generally passive in each roll. Now, with him, it was Anthony’s turn to be passive, and Hulk’s turn to be the aggressor. Anthony recognized that Bruce was the dominant one in this state, he did not try to challenge or dominate him, as others did in other contexts, he accepted that the hulk was dominant, and only wanted to please him, enjoy his attention. Bruce liked that. Bruce could see that even though Anthony often seemed to think of himself as letting him have his way -for Banner’s benefit- big and green or not, there was something primal -and overwhelmingly masculine- sitting just under the surface, whether well hidden or barely restrained, that made Anthony seem naturally inclined to dissolve into submitting to him. Bruce, as the hulk, was that very part of himself that seemed to melt his friend. He loved that Anthony seemed incapable of being anything but willingly malleable in his hands. Since Anthony seemed so inclined to collapse over his shoulder, he picked him up, rose to his feet and carried him over to put him on the bed, laying him across the centre of it, before descending to his knees, again, beside it.
Anthony was somewhat reluctant to let himself be rolled onto his stomach, even just for the fact that he preferred being able to watch, but that protest fell away when he realized that he was getting a back rub out of it, rather than things progressing the way he had expected. He felt the large, warm and slightly rough hands, that he loved so much, smooth over his back. He smiled to himself about the cleverness of it. He was not sure how much of it was conscious consideration on Bruce’s part, but he thought it to be some form of brilliance, whether arrived at intuitively or intellectually. Bruce was making sure he was relaxed and that his spine and nerves would behave themselves as much as possible, so that whatever would come, he was far less likely to accidentally hurt Anthony because of a nerve pinching or because he was too tense. Bruce, in his other form often seemed like a genius -lacking in- common sense, but in this state was nothing if not a genius -of- common sense. He did not seem to care for technicalities or details, or precision, but the way he broke the most complex things down to simple and effective logic, which was what seemed truly brilliant to Anthony. After all, all the science in the world mattered little if the most effective answer to something was to simply smash it. Pleasure at this nuance of his friend mingled with the pleasure of the firm stroking down his back to make him lost to humming contentedly and smiling, feeling like a happy lazy cat.
Bruce traced his fingers over his back at first, and then rubbed at him, just shy of hard enough to move the skin. After that, he progressed to rubbing hard enough that the skin moved with his fingers, in gentle circles over the muscle groups. He did this until, instead of lumpy and tensely strung, the muscles felt smooth and relaxed. A few of the disks in his spine made small shifts or quiet little sounds, but the indulgent humming and groaning sounds Anthony was making were all he needed to be reassured that he was not hurting him. Anthony looked only mildly surprised, and otherwise entirely lulled, when he stopped and rolled him back over.
The hands on his back had been making him feel relaxed enough to sleep, but also aroused, and the anticipation alone was keeping him awake. That same treatment down the front of his body was mind numbing. He was also getting frustrated though, not that he wanted to rush anything, but this was a very slow pace and he was very aroused. He did not want to complain or say anything that sounded like an order, he did not even want to talk really, but he finally settled on something.
“Have me, please, have me." he said quietly, since he felt like he could not move, and did not want to.
Bruce smiled to himself. He loved the sound, the idea, of him begging for it. He was certain he had never done that for Banner. He kissed him and pulled his hips closer to the edge of the bed, humming indulgently.
Anthony might have been bothered by the obvious amusement Bruce was deriving from his excessively pliant behaviour, except that he could tell how much he was enjoying it. If it had seemed like he found it quaint in a way deserving of contempt, as he had implied earlier, then he would be bothered. As it was, Bruce seemed to think it endearing and pleasing. Besides that, Anthony -again- had his own reasons to be amused with Bruce in turn. Watching him fight internally over his own sexuality, and then have some great and very hedonistic part of himself take such twisted satisfaction in his own embarrassment; it was endearing and humorous, and -of course- not something Anthony would ever say out loud.
Bruce did not know exactly what had his boyfriend looking so amused, but he felt he had some idea. He was enjoying the contrast and disagreement between him and his alter ego, even if it was in a spiteful kind of way, so he imagined Anthony could find it amusing too. He knew Anthony cared for them both, and that was at least as frustrating to him as it was to Banner, but that was only because he often wanted the same division that the doctor did. Being as he was now attempting to find peace with his other persona, it was rather convenient that Anthony would encourage them in that. He could feel a strong awareness of what his alternate personality was thinking and feeling, when he was normally the one even more prone to shutting the other out entirely. This time it brought him satisfaction though, rather than the internal dialogue being frustrating.
The doctor, meanwhile, had only a fuzzy dream-like awareness of what was happening, but even so, he saw and felt everything his alternate persona did. It was not a bad dream, though he could not wake from it if he wanted to. He had no control over what was happening, something he would normally lament in these moments of partial awareness, but this time he did not mind so much. He saw Anthony on the bed before him, seduced, safe and much smaller seeming than he was used to. Every movement felt involuntary, controlled by some other force, and he felt abashed about the frank and assertive body language that he could not control, but he did not really want to stop it. His body was not his own, and yet it belonged to him, and it was what his lover wanted at the moment. He watched Anthony’s eyelids lower and him arch off the bed, as this body -he was in- began to grind gently and wetly against him. He felt Anthony's tight body wiggle in his hands, and how hot he felt; and he could not care about the strangeness of it all any longer, even if he wanted to.
Bruce felt the contrary little impulse in the back of his mind melt into purring agreement. He could hear a whisper of Banner’s thoughts and threw a contemptuous snort at him in his head. Of course, now, the meek -but vindictive- doctor had no issue being trapped in the back of his mind, not when the only thing that mattered was pleasure; not when he was getting to share in this dominant roll without having to accept responsibility for it himself. Banner had never seemed to have an issue with having the hulk’s body. He had revelled in it, and mocked him cruelly, on the occasions that he had managed to take it over without his consent. When they had shared the same mind -as one person- before; their form was large, green and muscular as it was now, or more so. He wanted to rub it in his face that this time he was loved just as much, that this time he was the one with Anthony. He wanted more reactions, and more sounds, out of him, but he was not about to be any more aggressive than he was being already. His hands were busy holding him in place, and he could not reach his body with his mouth while grinding forward as he was. That left him with his voice, but then he would have to go through the annoyance of finding words. He did not really want to talk. He wanted to hear Anthony.
Anthony had to acknowledge, at this point in his life, that he had developed a bit of a tendency. He always seemed to push his limits and build up to things, set things up to be fantastic or great in some way, taking on a life of its own; then wholeheartedly throw himself into it, and let it carry him along for the ride. Even now, he realized he was doing it; poking at Bruce -in one form or another- until he was aggressive and overwhelming, then giving into it wantonly. He wanted to be completely overwhelmed and to love every second of it. The slippery pressure, making his most sensitive nerves sing as it slowly slid deeper, and the warmth, roughness and strength in the body touching him was like a drug. Bruce was kneeling at the edge of the bed, but he wanted him closer. Anthony was sure he had enough height on the bed that he did not need to lean on him, in order to lie against him. He reached out to his stomach, now barely within reach between his thighs, stroking somewhat feebly at the hair there.
“Closer." he managed to say quietly.
“You want Hulk closer?” Bruce asked him teasingly, leaning forward slightly and gaining some inclination as to how he could make him be more vocal.
“Yes.” Anthony answered, his voice a breathy hiss.
A warm body lowered against him as Bruce moved one arm to support his weight, on his elbow, above Anthony’s head. The contact was light enough that on each thrust he felt muscles and the light brush of hair slide against him. Now that he could curl his legs up against his sides and over his hips properly, he relaxed more and closed his eyes, concentrating on everything he was feeling. The feel of the bed and sheets shifting around him, the skin moving against his, the slow thrusting pushing and pulling him minutely on the bed, the hot breath at his shoulder, the hand that held him gently but firmly in place, it was all intoxicating. He wrapped his arms up around his neck to where his fingertip could curl into his hair.
Bruce continued, deliberately slow, entirely on purpose, just to try to frustrate him. It did not seem to be working quite as planned for the time, but he felt like being patient at the moment, and the longer things lasted in general, the better. The doctor sat seduced, but still attempting something like a glare, somewhere in the back of his mind. He thought back at him that he should look, look and see what he was doing to him, his precious friend-turned-lover, and how much Anthony was enjoying it. It was an odd feeling to think that he should stop his merciless taunting, and yet at the same time take such pleasure in denying himself that.
Anthony felt firm muscle and rough hair rubbing along his hardness as they moved and felt like he was getting too close, and like it was not happening fast enough. He wanted to feel Bruce finish before he did, but he was certain the slow pace was not enough, not when he already felt like he was shaking slightly.
“Faster.” Anthony said, his voice a plea, not a demand.
Bruce felt the heat of embarrassment in the doctor, hidden in his mind, and smiled to himself as he did as he was asked. He moved a little faster, giving in only a measured seeming amount each time Anthony found his voice to ask for more. He had soon reached a satisfying pace, but was still being deliberately, painfully gentle.
“Harder.” Anthony said, sounding desperate, finally getting over his hesitance to ask.
The doctor found it disquieting to feel so much like he should be red with embarrassment, but to have no body to really express it. He felt shamed to be coaxing his lover into begging, but he could not deny the arousal and satisfaction it was bringing both aspects of his consciousness. Bruce gladly obliged him, moving against him more firmly, giving up on teasing him, having gotten what he wanted. He hummed contentedly and kissed him where he could reach.
Anthony’s world dissolved into bliss as he melted into the satisfying thrusting. He felt as though he could hardly hold back, but he tried. He wanted the feeling to last a little longer, wanted Bruce to be on the edge too, so he tried to coax that out of him.
“You like it when I ask for more?" he asked him, though he was certain he knew the answer.
His suspicion was confirmed with an approving hum, the vibration of which ran through him and made him feel hot.
“I thought you didn’t like all the annoying talk.” Anthony teased him, breathless, in between satisfied sounds.
“Hulk doesn’t mind this talk." he mumbled into his shoulder.
Anthony nibbled on his ear, thinking that his words were a bit of an understatement, reading between the lines and knowing that this was something of a show for his alter ego‘s benefit. He knew the doctor was easily embarrassed and that the hulk took perverse pleasure in twisting the sharp edge of his humility like a knife. There was something he found immensely charming about this kink in his character, and he had no problem playing along. Little affirmations began leaking out in between other expressive sounds.
The short encouragements that came next made the doctor feel like a quivering mess inside his own brain. The hulk, meanwhile, was practically purring over it, rolling his head slightly into the fingers tightening in his hair in a nuzzling motion. He was not certain if words had ever been used to stroke his ego so, the way the hot tight body in his hands was doing.
“So good… So close… I want you to come…please…” Anthony gasped in his ear, trying to give him that one final push that had proven effective before, one last effort before he caved in himself.
Anthony felt the telltale tightening of his grip that was just barely too hard; the one that signalled the slight loss of control he was looking for. He felt as much as heard the inhumanly deep, low groan that chilled his spine in the most delicious way. He felt hot fluid spill in him, and his own body begin to shake more, and then nothing but intense pleasure.
Bruce flattened his hand gently against Anthony’s stomach, holding him still as the wet pulsing muscles around him drew a few more nearly involuntary thrusts out of him. Then it was quiet, not only in the room, but in his mind; perfect silence. He kissed Anthony once more, and let himself fade back, looking only slightly too pleased.
Bruce Banner came to greater awareness as the silence and dream-like haze faded back, and he found himself in control of his limbs again; small, tired and naked, leaning over Anthony and the edge of the bed.
“Hey, you’re back.” said Anthony almost sleepily, still looking seduced, and reaching up to kiss him back quickly.
“I never left." he replied, his tone not betraying his exact meaning.
“Can we have sex now too?” Anthony asked, though he looked quite obviously too tired for it.
Bruce answered him with a flat look, supported on arms that felt weak in their joints.
“You’re ganging up on me." he said, but it was not as humourless as he intended, as the corner of his mouth twisted into a smirk against his will.
~*~

The End?

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Author’s note V 2.0:
So you see, friend, if you were Betty, I might be Bruce then, but since you are definitely Bruce, I am therefore definitely Anthony. I win.
I realize that I write Both Anthony and Bruce as very self-aware people. It only makes sense to me that they would be by this point, and I enjoyed finally being able to write for characters that are. I also write them as very aware of each other's workings, as much as two people can be, but after such full lives being so wrapped up in each other in so many ways, and being friends for so long, that really only makes sense too.
There are a few more ideas I have running around for these two, but I think my friend has been most patient with me, waiting for this, with me teasing her about it the whole time… Seriously I have been sending her random lines and messages like “Scientists do it on the table, periodically” and “Do you like green ham with your eggheads?” … yeah, I’m an ass *Tony-like grin*… Forgive me? *offers up an amused coy smile that Bruce would be proud of*
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Acceptance