Eye of the Beholder

Author’s Notes: Thank you blue_lioness, onewing, Arden Skysender and Roni for your reviews. They do mean a lot to me. I wrote this one to be amusing, so just be warned. As always, please enjoy and review.

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“So what do you think?” Kitty asks excitedly.

“I think you’re nuts, but that’s just my opinion,” Amanda replies without bothering to look over at the teen. “You’re missing the movie.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve shot down every single idea I’ve had,” Kitty pouts. “And I’ve seen this movie so many times I could recite it in my sleep.”

“That’s because I don’t want to see you get turned into lunch meat,” Amanda states, shifting the most recent bag of ice on her face and slouching down lower on the couch. “I’ve seen that man bare his claws once in my life. That’s enough for me, thank you.”

“Well what would you do?” Kitty demands.

“Give him a very wide berth,” Amanda answers, trying to keep her attention on Brad Pitt.

“You’re no help,” Kitty mutters, slouching down in her seat.

“You didn’t ask for my help, you asked for my opinion,” Amanda points out causing the other girls snicker.

“Would you please help us think of something?” Kitty begs.

“Stay away from him,” Amanda responds.

“That’s not helping,” Kitty grumbles.

“Yes it is,” Amanda tells her. “You try to pull a prank on him too soon and he’ll know it’s you.”

“Oh, I get it,” Kitty snickers. “Wait until he’s forgotten about this whole thing and then pull a fast one on him. So any suggestions on what we could do to him?”

“I refuse to contribute to the delinquency of a minor,” Amanda states.

“We won’t tell anyone, we promise,” Kitty replies excitedly.

“I know you four won’t, but what’s to stop him?” Amanda inquires, pointing at the ceiling and the girls look up to see Kurt hanging above them.

“Oh, ‘ello,” Kurt greets with a shy smile and a hesitant wave.

“KURT!” Rogue yells in indignation. “How long have you been up there?”

“Long enough to know that Herr Logan should not be lettink ‘is guard down any time soon,” Kurt replies with a smirk as he crawls down a wall. “Though I am most curious, Kätzchen, vhat vere you doing vith my undervear?”

Kitty doesn’t answer but instead sits there looking like a fish out of water with her mouth opening and closing, her eyes bugged out and making strange strangled noises for about five seconds before she sinks through the chair she’s sitting in. Jubilee and Rogue stare at Kitty in shock until the other girl disappears and then start busting up while Amanda has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing herself. Kitty snaps out of her shock, pops back up through the chair and turns on Serena who also has a stunned look on her face until she sees Kitty glaring at her.

“I didn’t tell him, I swear!” Serena immediately states before Kitty can get a word out.

“Before this turns into another yelling match, perhaps we should consider who would want to tell Herr Wagner about the underwear,” Amanda calmly states, watching the blue mutant with her one good eye. “If it wasn’t Serena who told him, then who could have? And who would want to?”

With a loud ‘bamf’ Kurt is suddenly gone and Kitty nearly growls in frustration.

“That’s it, I’m going to kill Logan,” Kitty snarls as she stands up and marches out of the room. “With my bare hands!”

“Does that mean we can…,” Serena starts hopefully as Kitty’s stomping feet fade away.

“No,” Amanda interrupts. “The deal was for Logan to stop tormenting Kitty. We never stipulated that he couldn’t get someone else to do it for him.”

“That sucks,” Serena mutters, slouching down in the couch next to Amanda.

“I seem to have underestimated Logan,” Amanda admits. “Who knew the man could figure out a loophole in the agreement?”

“Amanda, you’ve got to help us figure out a way to get back at him,” Serena insists.

“Oh, no I don’t,” Amanda chuckles. “I’m not the one who started this.”

“Please, Amanda,” Serena begs, laying her head on Amanda’s shoulder.

“Absolute not,” Amanda replies. “But I am curious about something.”

“What’s that?” Rogue asks.

“The clothes that Logan wears, is that it?” Amanda idly inquires. “I’ve only seen him wear jeans, tank tops and flannel shirts. Doesn’t he wear anything else?”

“Wife beaters,” Jubilee puts in.

“Excuse me?” Amanda questions.

“The shirts he wears under his flannel ones are called wife beaters,” Jubilee tells the woman.

“And what a lovely term to give an article of clothing,” Amanda mumbles before continuing in a regular voice. “But does he wear anything else?”

“Well, he does have a leather outfit he wears every once and a while,” Rogue replies thoughtfully. “But, no, Ah’ve never seen him wear anything else.”

“To bad,” Amanda muses. “I imagine he’d cut a rather fine figure in a suit.”

The three girls look at her quizzically for a good minute before Rogue starts snickering. Serena and Jubilee get it a few moments later and evil grins spread across their faces. Storm walks in, sees them and immediately starts to worry.

“What’s going on?” Storm demands, eyes narrowed at the girls.

“Oh nothing,” Jubilee answers with an innocent look on her face which the other two copy and Storm is not buying it for a second if her frown is any indication.

“We were just talking about some people’s fashion sense,” Amanda says, looking over at the white haired woman.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Serena agrees a little too readily.

“Uh-huh, right,” Storm grumbles. “Amanda, the guy from the car rental agency is here.”

“Ok,” Amanda sighs as she gets to her feet. “Thank you, Ororo.”

“You’re welcome,” Storm responds before casting another suspicious gaze at the girls and then leaving.

“I guess you’re finally leaving then, huh?” Serena says in a small voice.

“I’m afraid so,” Amanda replies gently, looking down at the girl. “I had a lot of fun this weekend. Thank you for helping me get ready for my date last night.”

“You’re welcome,” Serena responds as she stands up. “Need help finding the front door?”

“Of course,” Amanda answers sadly as she hands her bag of mostly melted ice over to Rogue with a smile of thanks. “I still haven’t figured out how no one gets lost in this place.”

“After you’ve been her a while, you figure things out,” Serena replies as she leads Amanda out of the rec room and then gets a mischievous smile on her face. “Though there are tales of a student that took a wrong turn one time and was never heard from again. But on cold, dark nights, you can sometimes hear her crying for help.”

“Save it for the campfire,” Amanda smirks as she drapes her arm over Serena’s shoulders. “I used to scare my sister spitless with ghost stories when I was growing up.”

“Hey, it was worth a try,” Serena chuckles. “And if it had worked, you could have snuggled up to the Ambassador for safety and comfort all the way home.”

Amanda doesn’t say anything to that, but she does turn a lovely shade of crimson.

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“So, gonna get lost on some deserted back road and then run out of gas?” Logan suggests with a leer.

“Don’t be so crude,” Hank casually replies as he turns the page in the book he’s reading. “Besides, I filled up the tank right after lunch.”

“I could siphon it out for ya if ya like,” Logan offers.

“You will do no such thing,” Hank warns him, glaring over the top of his glasses at the other mutant. “In fact, I would prefer that you don’t go anywhere near my car. I am simply offering to drive her home since it would unwise for her to drive herself. I’m not some hormonally driven youth looking for an excuse to get a girl alone in a car.”

“Don’t know about,” Logan chuckles. “Seems to me you were awful quick to tell her she couldn’t drive and then offer her that ride.”

“Her eye is nearly swollen shut,” Hank reminds him. “It would be too dangerous for her to drive all the way back to Manhattan like that and since I’m heading back that way myself, it only makes sense that I drive her. Besides, it gives her more time with Serena.”

“Sure, whatever you say, Doc,” Logan smirks as he sticks an unlit half smoked cigar in his mouth.

“I was given the impression that ‘Ro doesn’t want you smoking those things inside the mansion,” Hank observes as he looks back down at his book.

“Ain’t smokin’ it, now am I?” Logan shoots back. “I’m just holdin’ it in my mouth.”

“A bit old to be using a pacifier, aren’t you?” Hank teases.

He tries not to smile as he can practically feel Logan’s eyes boring holes into him and instead concentrates on the tome open before him. He can hear Logan draw a breath to make some type of comment, probably something rude or vulgar, but then suddenly stops. Hank chances a sly glance over at the other man and sees him with his head slightly tilted and smirk on his face. Hank listens as well and a moment later can hear stomping feet headed their way and from the sound of the steps, he’s fairly sure that it’s a woman making those sounds.

“Now, which lady of the house have you upset this time, Logan?” Hank asks, still not bothering to look up.

“Not a lady,” Logan chuckles around the butt of his cigar. “Just a little kitten.”

“I’d be careful if I were you, my boy,” Hank warns as he turns another page of his book. “Kittens have sharp claws.”

“YOU!” a high pitched voice shrieks from the doorway causing both men to flinch in pain.

“Not to mention their yowls can just about bust an eardrum,” Logan grumbles while Kitty storms into the room.

“You are a dead man!” she yells, stomping up to Logan who as an amused look on his face.

“Why?” Logan asks. “I ain’t done nothin’.”

“Oh, where do I begin with that sentence,” Hank moans as he listens to Logan mangle the English language.

“YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!?” she screams as she advances on her target. “You only told Kurt about…”

“I told elf boy about what, kitten?” Logan smirks, the cigar still firmly clenched between his teeth.

“You told him…,” she starts and then finally notices Hank staring at her, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. “You know perfectly well what you told Kurt.”

“Thought elf boy deserved to know the truth,” Logan tells her smugly as her face turns bright red.

“You’re a dead man,” she repeats, glaring at Logan.

“Whatta gonna do, kitten?” Logan scoffs as he pushes himself off of the wall he had been leaning against and goes to stand toe to toe with the smaller mutant. “Walk through me a few times? Might want to be careful doin’ that. Might like what you see beneath the clothes. Then what would you tell your Tin Man?”

Kitty’s face turns an even deeper red and Hank’s eyes nearly fall out of their sockets at Logan’s suggestive comment. Logan takes a step, pushing her back a bit. Whether he’s expecting her to step aside or to just phase through him, he’s definitely not expecting her to grab the front of his shirt.

“I think it’s time you learned to fly,” she growls just before the two of them drop through the floor.

“What’s going on?” Storm asks as she sees the other two disappear through the floor

“Kitty mentioned something about teaching Logan to fly,” Hank answers, amusement coloring his voice. “The hanger is just below this room so she’s at least headed in the correct direction.”

“Oh god, the new Blackbird,” she gasps just before she turns and runs out of the room as fast as she can.

With an amused chuckle, he goes back to his book knowing full well that the Blackbird isn’t ready to be flown just yet.

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“Who was that?” Serena asks, eyeing Amanda suspiciously as the woman closes her phone and slips it back into her pocket.

“A friend of mine,” Amanda answers as she gets her bags from her room. “I was just letting him know that I wouldn’t be back in time for us to go to dinner.”

“Him?” Serena demands, her eyes narrowing.

“Yes, Doug is a him,” Amanda answers as she heads down the hall.

“I thought you liked Hank,” Serena says, sounding hurt.

“I do like Hank,” Amanda chuckles. “Doug is just a friend.”

“A friend that you were going to go out with,” Serena states suspiciously while they descend the staircase.

“Doug and I go out to dinner every Sunday,” Amanda replies.

“Does Hank know about Doug?” Serena demands. “Does he know that you’re going out with another man every Sunday night?”

“Yes, he knows about him and he’s not threatened by me having a guy as my best friend,” Amanda assures her as they go down another corridor. “I’m not going out with another man; I’m going out with my best friend.”

“A best friend who just happens to be a man,” Serena points out.

“A man who happens to like other men,” Amanda tells her and watches Serena open her mouth to say something and then pauses for several seconds as what Amanda said sinks in.

“You’re best friend is a gay guy?” Serena inquires.

“Yes, he is,” Amanda chuckles. “It’s fun to go out with him too. If we get a really cute waiter, we both flirt with him.”

“You’re weird,” Serena blurts out without thinking.

“And you’re only figuring this out now?” Amanda laughs as they step into library.

“I certainly hope I’m not the reason for such mirth,” Hank states with an amused tone as he looks over the top of his glasses at the two females that just walked in.

“No, Serena just thinks I’m weird,” Amanda grins at him which causes his skin to tingle. “I thought she would have figured that out when I told her that I was her lawyer, not some public defender that didn’t give a rat’s butt what happened to her.”

“Public defenders are very over worked doing a thankless job,” he points out while putting his glasses away.

“Not that guy,” Serena grumbles. “He pretty much told me that he didn’t care if they put me in the gas chamber since I’m a mutant. He thinks all mutants should be put down like a ‘bunch of rabid dogs’. His words, not mine.”

“What a charming fellow, he should run for office,” he mutters as he returns his book to the shelf it came from.

“The sad thing is he’s not alone in his sentiments, I’m sorry to say,” Amanda sadly states.

“But like an angel of mercy, you flew in and saved Serena, for that every mutant can be thankful for you,” Hank says as he crosses the room towards her.

“I can understand Serena being thankful, but every mutant?” Amanda asks with an eyebrow arched.

“You’ve shown them that they it’s possible to defend themselves in a court of law if the need arises,” he points out as he stops in front of her and takes the overnight bag slung over her shoulder. “All they need is someone who believes in them like you did with Serena.”

“Her case was self defense, plain and simple,” Amanda replies.

“You’ll get no argument from me,” he responds. “Getting a jury of twelve men and women who were more than likely not mutants to believe that was something shy of miraculous. You may have done more good for mutant kind with that one case than I have in all my years of politics.”

“I also may have done more harm,” Amanda states.

“As much as I hate to break up this debate, but it’s really boring,” Serena interrupts. “Maybe you could talk about it on the drive home.”

“But we’re discussing your case,” he says in slight confusion.

“I’m afraid law isn’t likely to be a field that Serena is going to go into,” Amanda quietly chuckles. “But she is right about one thing, we should get going.”

“Yes, of course,” he agrees and he allows the ladies to proceed him as they leave the library and head for the garage.

“When are you going to visit next?” Serena asks as they walk down the hallway.

“I’m not sure, but it won’t be until after the New Year,” Amanda answers with a sad look in her eyes. “I’ll try and get a weekend free as soon as I can after the holidays. Ok?”

“I suppose,” Serena replies, unable to hide her disappointment.

“Be good and try to stay out of trouble,” Amanda reminds her as they reach the garage. “I’ll be back for another visit before you know it.”

“Ok, thanks for coming all this way to visit me,” Serena says as she gives the lawyer a near rib cracking squeeze. “I’m sorry about the Frisbee.”

“I’m glad I could come and don’t worry about the eye,” Amanda assures the teenager. “I’ll heal.”

Hank quietly puts her bag in the trunk and then silently waits for them to stop hugging. After more than a minute, Hank worries that he may have to separate them with a crowbar. Then Jubilee sticks her head out the door and a second later Serena is gone leaving a bemuse Amanda behind.

“Are you ready to go home?” he asks.

“Yeah, I think I’ve taken all of the emotional rollercoaster rides that I can for now,” she answers as she heads towards him. “I don’t know how Ororo does it.”

“She is a woman of amazing abilities,” he replies as he opens the passenger door for her. “And I’m not just speaking of her powers.”

“She must have the patience of Job,” she muses and he chuckles as he closes the door.

“She must also be quick as deer,” he says as he slides behind the wheel. “By the way, what is the situation with Kitty, Serena, Logan and it now seems Kurt?”

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Kätzchen – German, kitten