Hanging By A Moment

Hanging By A Moment
Chapter 21: Lost In Thought

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In the days and weeks that followed their return to Bayville, both Scott Summers and Jean Grey were left with much to think about. Talking to friends and getting back in the groove of classes weren’t as distracting as they would have liked them to be, for many of the revelations that resulted from their Thanksgiving trip together hung strong in their mind. They were left with a feeling of uncertainty, for they were willing to admit to themselves that they were in love…But they had not said anything to each other. And after a while, this lingering aspect of their evolving relationship began to take a toll on them.

While both Scott and Jean put on different outward appearances when they were talking to their friends or each other, they were becoming increasingly reserved and weary about their respective fears. What they had together now was just so amazing and neither of them was willing to risk that. And since they both had always told each other that they didn’t believe in true love, it was somewhat frightening to think about how bringing something like that into their relationship when they had both given up on it so long ago could affect them. And in the end, none of this did much to ease their feelings or their anxieties as each day gave them more and more to think about.

Jean was now becoming somewhat more reclusive even though she tried to keep up her ‘everything is going great’ appearance. However, for those who knew Jean Grey well…It was as clear as night and day that something was bothering her. To her friends, it was an unexpected turn since she had been so happy and upbeat since she first met Scott. While they didn’t know the full details of what happened during the Thanksgiving break with Scott’s parents and what they helped her realize, they knew something was amiss with her. However, every time they so much as inquired that anything was different, Jean just put on that overly convincing mask of deceit and assured them that all was well.

Scott didn’t fare much better with his friends either. While this time of year always brought out optimism in most people because of the approaching holiday season, for Scott he was too preoccupied to get in the spirit. Piotr, Kurt, and Pietro were quick to realize this, but they never got much of an explanation out of him even as it got worse with each passing day. Being a former solider, he knew how to hide his emotions and this situation pretty much tested everything he had learned throughout his extensive military training.

When they were together, it was the hardest because a part of them was just screaming to tell her while the other part kept them from doing so, wanting to keep things the way they were. It was a constant struggle for the both of them, one that tore at their hearts and souls. Yet they managed to keep a lid on it day after day, doing all the things they loved to do with each other under the guise that everything was right. They hung out, studied, went on dates, and had sex. However, many of these activities were growing increasingly difficult for them the longer they kept everything bottled up inside. And if they didn’t tell each other soon…They felt as though it would drive them crazy. But it was still too soon…At least, that’s what they kept telling themselves.

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It was another snowy day in Bayville as Jean Grey put her books into her backpack and left her Biology class. With finals coming up, things were starting to slow down somewhat in most of her classes, but she didn’t really notice it very much this year, for her mind was definitely elsewhere. To her, it was getting to be quite meddlesome, for it was starting to affect her focus in class. But there seemed no way around it as she continued to hold so many things in. She hoped that the weekend would help her relax somewhat and maybe even a little Christmas shopping would do her some good.

As she left the classroom feeling tired and dazed for her lack of sleep that had resulted because of this matter, she suddenly heard a voice break her out of her thoughts.

“Hey Jean! Wait up sugah!” said Rogue as she struggled to catch up to the fleeting redhead.

Jean stopped in her stride as she looked back to see the Rogue dashing towards her. Normally, she wouldn’t have hesitated to get a chance to talk to a friend, but given her current state of mind, she couldn’t help but falter somewhat at the notion of putting that mask of deception back on again, for it was seriously starting to take it’s toll.

“Hey Rogue,” she said casually, once again managing her tone and poise to make sure Rogue couldn’t see that anything was amiss.

“Dang Jean…What’s the rush with ya these days? I thought I was the one with a fucked up concept of time,” said Rogue, somewhat out of breath as she finally caught up to her and walked beside her to a clear area so that they weren’t in the way of wave after wave of fleeting students eager to get home for the weekend.

“I’m not in a rush, Rogue. And in retrospect, I have a long ways to go before I ever catch up to your level of punctuality,” said Jean, keeping it casual, “I just want to get home and relax for a while. It’s been a rough week.”

“Rough?” said the southern girl with a wide-eyed look on her face, “Jean, half our classes have pretty much stopped assignin’ homework because of all the projects we just turned in. How could it be rough for a gal like you at a time like this?”

Jean mentally kicked herself for making such a weak excuse. She managed to keep her poise for the most part, but Rogue was definitely not oblivious to her friend’s demeanor.

“Well finals are coming and Christmas is just around the corner,” said Jean after a brief hesitation.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” said Rogue, “I still haven’t finished my shopping.”

“Well that’s more than I can say for me. I haven’t even started mine,” said Jean, hoping to deviate from the subject.

“Well that’s never stressed you out before,” quipped Rogue, wanting to stay on topic, “Come on Jean…Don’t bullshit me. I know ya better than that. Is something bothering you?”

Jean inwardly groaned, for she truly didn’t want to talk about this. She hated lying to her friends and she hated lying to herself. She kept telling people that nothing was wrong when she knew for a fact that it wasn’t. She may not have known about Rogue’s somewhat similar situation with Remy, but since both women were very stubborn when it came to opening up, it didn’t help them.

“No…Why would something be bothering me?” said Jean after another brief hesitation that probably would have gone unnoticed if Rogue didn’t know her so well.

“I don’t know…You tell me, Jean,” said Rogue, unconvinced and not making any bones about it.

“Rogue…Nothing’s wrong!” snapped Jean, who was starting to get more aggravated than usual, “Do I have to spell it out for you or something?”

“Hey, calm down Jean…” coaxed Rogue, feeling awkward since it was as if their positions had been reversed from earlier when she was acting like this because of her ongoing situation with Remy, “I don’t wanna make ya mad. Believe me…I know how you can get when yer mad.”

Jean took a few deep breaths as she sat down on one of the benches in the hall. Rogue took a seat next to her and watched as the young redhead took a few deep breaths in order to regain her composure.

“Look…I’m sorry Rogue,” said Jean, returning to her calm, collected tone despite some lingering stress, “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Well considerin’ how I’ve been snappin’ at everybody lately, consider us even,” said Rogue more light heartedly, which did bring somewhat of an honest smile to Jean’s face as they both simply sat on the wooden bench inside the science building.

“I know…I know,” conceded Jean, “But it’s just getting so frustrating with everybody coming up to me and thinking that something’s wrong.”

“Yeah…I know the feelin’. Believe me…I know,” said Rogue honestly as Jean looked back over towards the sincere look in her eyes.

“How do you know?” asked Jean curiously, feeling just as curious as everybody else had been about Rogue’s behavior these past few months, “I mean…Nothing’s wrong, but…”

Jean quickly cut herself off, knowing that if she continued onward she would probably just make things worse for herself. The more she said, the more she seemed to give herself away. It was a losing battle and she knew it…And from the looks of it, Rogue knew it too.

“It sucks, doesn’t it?” mused Rogue with a sigh, knowing Jean was just trying to side step the issues, causing her to more or less give up trying to pry it out of her, “Life is complicated enough without havin’ to worry about the shit we don’t have control over. Sometimes…We think we’re in control…We think we know the world…But in the end we don’t know dick.”

“Yeah…I understand…It doesn’t seem fair, you know?” said Jean as her tone shifted towards a somewhat morose monotone, tired of just holding everything back when she was making it painfully clear to pretty much all her friends.

“Yeah…I know,” said the southern girl, finding herself at somewhat of a loss as she thought about what she had jus said to her friend.

There was a brief silence between the two friends as they simply contemplated what to say next. Rogue was never particularly good with words. Talking tended to bring only more confusion to her since she was never very good at making sense of her world. Jean may have been in this state ever since she met Scott, but it only truly started to get difficult for her when she actually admitted to herself that she was in love with him. While she didn’t know exactly what was going on with Rogue, she still took her words to heart as she thought about what she was going to do next.

“I used to think I had a pretty firm hold of everything in my world,” mused Jean, finally breaking the silence, feeling the need to get some of this off her chest, “I could deal with school…I could manage my parents…I could manage myself. But then…Certain things happen that just take things I once so ardently believed and completely turn them inside out.”

“What kind things do you mean?” asked Rogue, wondering if Jean truly knew and if she could give her the advice she sore sorely sought.

“Well…Many things,” answered Jean, knowing it was only a half truth when for her it involved one particular issue, “And now…I don’t know what to do. I honest to God don’t have any clue how to handle it. There are so many things I want to get out…But at the same time I don’t want to risk what I have now…Because I don’t think I could live without it.”

As Rogue took in those words, her thoughts immediately drifted to her situation with Remy Lebeau, for they had pretty much summed everything up in a nutshell for her. Jean had always been better with words when it came to describing a situation and Rogue couldn’t deny that what she said had struck a serious chord with her. On one hand she had this exciting, fun game going on with this enchanting man full of wonder, thrills, and loads of good sex. It had gotten to a point where she didn’t feel she could be without it, for it made her life seem so much more wonderful and bright.

But now…It was practically eating away at her because she felt as though Remy wanted nothing but sex from her when she felt there was clearly something more whenever she was with him. They still played their games, but she kept wishing that there was more to them…She kept wishing that there was more between her and Remy since he made her feel things she hadn’t felt with other man.

“So what do we do about it?” asked Rogue, for she had reached the end of her rope.

“That’s just it Rogue…I don’t know,” said Jean in a low tone as she let out a deep sigh, “I wish I could tell you…But I can’t. All I can say is that the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. I…I wish there was some way to let it all out…But it’s just…It’s so hard.”

“Yeah…Hard,” said Rogue.

The two women sat in silence for another brief period, letting the halls pretty much empty of students so that they were now pretty much alone for the most part. Rogue was now in a deep state of thought as she thought about what Jean had said. She may have been better about knowing her situation and making it somewhat clear for once, but it didn’t bring her any closer to solving her lingering problems. If anything, it only frustrated the southern born woman as she was left feeling at a loss. It all seemed so hopeless…It was as if she was pretty much stuck in this stupor and there was nothing she could do about it.

Then, as Rogue let out a frustrated sigh, she stood up…Realizing that there was only one way she could ease her tension at this point.

“Well, whatever it is yer dealin’ with…I hope ya can beat it,” said Rogue, “And I promise…I won’t tell anybody else what ya told me.”

“Thanks Rogue…” said Jean gratefully, “That really means a lot.”

“No prob…What are friend for?” she said, managing a slight grin, “Well…I have to go now. I seriously need to get my head straight.”

“Yeah…Me too,” said Jean in agreement as she got up off the bench as well, “Maybe I should just go back to my apartment and drown myself in a little Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Rogue as they prepared to walk off in separate directions, “And I know there’s only one thing that can set my mind at ease at least for a little while.”

“Sounds great…” said Jean, not asking any further questions, for she was just eager to get back to her apartment, “So I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah…I’ll see ya sugah,” said Rogue as she began to walk off towards another part of the building while Jean made her way towards the exit and out into the cold December air, hoping to find a solution soon before it completely and utterly consumed her.

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Remy Lebeau had just finished up his international studies class and was slowly making his way out through the crowd of eager young people, all wanting to get home and start the weekend. To him, however, weekends had lost their meaning and he had become more or less indifferent to them for a multitude of reasons…Well, much of them centering around one in particular, but that was something he didn’t want to think about at a time like this.

Usually, he would use his weekends as an opportunity to see Rogue. They still played their games together, but lately…He had noticed somewhat of a change in the southern belle that he had become so enticed with. While they continued to playfully flirt, tease, and fuck like they always had…She had been growing somewhat distant lately for reasons she hadn’t made very clear. He had come to know the subtleties of her moves and gestures and he knew when something was amiss with her, but what made this so much more significant was just how much it seemed to be affecting her.

Time and time again, he thought about calling her to see if she was okay, but he always seemed to talk himself out of it one way or another. He tried to talk to her, but would always say the same thing and assure him that nothing was wrong. It was beginning to worry Remy because he had truly come to value Rogue’s companionship and seeing her like this was affecting him more than he ever could have imagined.

Rogue was truly unlike any other woman he had ever met before. Being a classic ladies man, Remy felt as though he knew the ins and outs of female behavior…But Rogue was in a class all her own. After he arrived at the Xavier Academy shortly after having ended a rather stressful relationship with a possessive, controlling woman named Belladonna, Rogue was such a welcomed breath of fresh air. She wasn’t clingy, uptight, or condescending…She was fun, sassy, and had quite a libido that he always relished in satisfying. But lately that’s all he felt he had been doing for her…Satisfying her sexual needs. It had gone from this deep sense of mystery and discovery with each other to her pretty much shutting him out altogether and simply coming to him for fulfill her need for sex. At first Remy tried not to let that bother him, for any other guy would have killed to be in a situation like that…But for him, it was starting to take its toll on his psyche.

As Remy Lebeau made his way out of the crowd and down a much less populated hall where he hoped to take his usual short-cut out, he was suddenly stopped from behind by a familiar voice.

“Remy…” said a distinctive southern tone, causing the Cajun to stop cold in his tracks as he turned to see the beautiful woman standing before him with an enigmatic look on her face.

“Cherè?” said Remy, feeling s bit surprised that she would go out of her way to find him on a day like this, “What are you doin’ here?”

“I came to see you…” she said as she made her way over towards him, causing the young Cajun’s heart to nearly leap up into his throat.

“See me? Why? Is something wrong?” he asked, thinking maybe she was finally ready to sit down and talk about what was going on between them.

“Yes…Something’s wrong Remy,” she said as she now stood within a mere couple of inches of the bewildered Cajun, getting a whiff is his unique, musky scent.

“Well…What is it cherè?” said Remy, feeling both curious and concerned about what it was she wanted to talk to him about.

“What’s wrong is…I need you.”

Suddenly, before Remy could even think of reacting, Rogue crashed her lips upon his and brought him into a deep, passionate kiss. Throwing her arms around him, Rogue quickly led him into a nearby empty classroom and kicked the door shut behind her and making sure it was secured so nobody bothered them during this.

Remy Lebeau was in a state of shock, for he didn’t know how to react to this…But this didn’t stop him from kissing back as Rogue kept him in a tight embrace, pressing her body up against his and communicating her need to feel him.

“Cherè…What are you…” he gasped in between breaths as Rogue continued to assault his face with her lips.

“Please Remy…” she said, cutting him off in mid sentence, “Don’t say a word…Just fuck me. Please…I want you to fuck me.”

Remy didn’t know how to respond, but his body pretty much began to work on it’s own as Rogue bought him into another deep kiss and backed him up against a wall. Slipping her tongue into his mouth, she rigorously and sensually rubbed his strong muscles that were still covered by his shirt and was pretty much desperate to feel his skin against hers as the heat within her began to grow. As she continued to let her lust and desire guide her, she slipped off her shirt and tossed it aside, leaving her top half covered only by a sexy black bra that began to add to the tight feeling that Remy felt in his pants. As his hands quickly found their way to her breasts, Rogue once again took the initiative and grabbed the hem of Remy’s shirt, removing it over his head so she now had a complete, unabated view of his well toned upper body. Rogue then went on the assault, smothering his sexy muscles with her lips and running her hands over his rugged, Cajun skin.

Rogue seemed as if she was in some kind of erotic trance as she assailed the bewildered Cajun with her uncanny arousal and Remy could do little to avoid being taken by its power. His uncertain mind that had been concerned what was happening between him and Rogue seemed to go completely out the door in the span of a single moment as he quickly fell under this enchanting woman’s spell as he so often had in the time that they had played their games.

As Remy began to give in to his body’s demands, Rogue captured his lips in another deep kiss as she reached to undo her bra, letting it fall to the floor and exposing to him her generous breasts. It quickly sent Remy into a heightened state of arousal as he found himself trailing his lips down to her breasts, teasing her nipples until they were hardened with arousal. This evoked a deep moan within Rogue, communicating her insatiable need to have this man and all the sexual ecstasy he could provide. She seemed brimming with lust…Almost as if she truly needed this, rather than simply wanting it.

Rogue’s aggressive lust didn’t slow down in the slightest. If anything, it speeded up. Normally, she never acted this fast or went with such fervor, but something within her just drove her to simply lunge forth and let her desires take hold of her. It was almost scary…But part of her kind of liked it, for it allowed her to simply forget her troubles and let her mind and body run free and relish in that which she so sorely craved.

Her lips trailed down his rough, Cajun muscles as her hands quickly undid his belt buckle and pants. Working her way around the large bulge, she managed to free his erection and pull his pants down to his ankles as she fell to her knees and took his stiff cock in her hands.

“Oh…Cherè…” gasped Remy as he felt his legs literally turn to jelly as she felt Rogue eagerly stroke and tease his member in her hands.

Rogue didn’t waste any time as she hungrily devoured his hard penis, eagerly and thoroughly sucking it with a rigor Remy had never seen her manage before. He didn’t know what was causing her to act like this…So fervent and so yearning. It was as if something had triggered this uncontrollable rage within her and the only way for her to balance herself out was through the sexual pleasure and contentment that only this man could offer.

Bobbing her head back and forth at an ever quickening pace, Rogue sucked and licked his cock until his moans echoed throughout the room. Looking back up at him with his cock in her mouth, there was an expression of pure lust and desire on her face as she hungrily tasted him and sucked him into a world of ecstasy. However, having his cock in her mouth was only the beginning for her. Normally, she would have gone longer and she would have been more sensual and subtle in her oral pleasing, but not today…She had to have him in her. She had to have his sex…For it was the only way for her to gain that little sense of peace that seemed to be leaving her more and more with each passing day.

Upon giving his cock one last final suck, she removed him from her mouth and quickly undid the fly to her dark blue jeans. Wasting no time, she pulled them down, panties and all, revealing to him her wet, dripping pussy that seemed so hungry for his dick. Remy had very little time to process this as Rogue assaulted his lips with hers in another round of passionate kissing as she moaned and swayed her sexy naked body before him, communicating her insatiable desire for him.

“Remy…Fuck me,” she said intently, almost panting in her words.

“Cherè…” he began, his mind trying to catch up with the situation, but Rogue wouldn’t allow this.

“Don’t say anything…Please, just fuck me…Fuck me!” she said, as if she was begging him at this point.

Remy’s mind was once again left in the dust as his body took over and Rogue lifted a leg and enraptured it around Remy’s body. This allowed her to guide his dick into her pussy as she closed her eyes and grit her teeth at the feeling of his hard member penetrating her. She went faster than usual, just desperate to get it on as her breathing turned into panting and she began rocking her body against his.

Remy then found himself sliding a hand down the long, sexy leg that was now extended to him as he took in the sweet, smooth feeling of her skin and quickly lost himself in her tight, wet pussy. His body began thrusting into her as she continued to kiss and caress his manly, Cajun muscles with unabated lust and desire. As she felt his dick thrash and thrust within her, she began moaning rather loudly into the room as sweat consumed her body and she felt his long hard member fill her insides so fully. Their wet flesh pounded against each other as the noise of their bodies moving together as one drove the sexy southern woman towards the heights of sexual pleasure.

Remy was now panted with each frenzied thrust as he began to moan at the feeling of her tight pussy clamping down on his dick as she neared an orgasm. She seemed so desperate for her release and didn’t bother dragging it out as they often did, but this was just one of those occasions where she just needed to get rid of all her pent up frustration and anxiety through the wonderful euphoria of pure, unabated sex.

“That’s it…Remy,” she panted as she began moaning louder as the sweat on her body began to make her glow under the fluorescent lighting, “Fuck me! Oh God, fuck me! It’s so good…Please…It’s so good.”

Remy only responded with a muffled moan as he took a tighter hold of her hips and thrust into her even harder in the way he knew she so sorely wanted. He could feel that she was close and she needed to let loose her building orgasm. Then, with a few more powerful thrusts into her pussy, she finally came as she began to spasm all over his hard dick.

“OH YES!” she yelled as she threw her head back and nearly went limp from the wonderful feeling surging throughout her body.

Her body would have fallen to the floor, but Remy managed to catch her as he guided her and hold her up as she was now up against the wall. Still unable to break his mind and body out of this frenzied state, Remy turned her around so that she was facing away from him and took a firm hold of her sexy butt as he thrust his cock into her pussy from behind.

She was still very wet from her juices so it was easier this time as he thrust in. Soon, Rogue’s moans filled the room once again as he began to frantically pump his cock into her at a rigorous pace, relishing in her warm tightness as the pleasure surged through both of their bodies. Remy could feel the perspiration on her body as he slid his hands up along her curves. Normally, she wouldn’t get this hot this quickly, but something about this moment just triggered something within her that made all those normal rules go completely out the window as she relished in the feeling of being fucked by this man.

“Cherè…So hot…So beautiful,” he said through his pants as his hands found their way around her and onto her sexy breasts.

“OH GOD REMY!” she yelled as she felt his hands eagerly rub her breasts along with each thrust into her pussy.

Remy was close now…He needed only a few more thrusts before his dick exploded within her. But he could tell that Rogue wanted to cum again. She was moving her body along with his, matching each thrust with just as much force as he was giving, driving his cock as deep as it would go. Her moans were so much louder and full of so much more lust and sexual desire than usual, but such moans only drove the Cajun to go harder and further, feeling himself ready to blow with only one final thrust.


“Oh Rogue!” he yelled as he closed his eyes and felt his dick burst in her tight vagina, filling her with his semen.

“Oh Remy! Fuck yeah!” she said as the feeling of his liquid inside her gave her the extra push she needed to have one last orgasm as both their bodies seemed to give way from the immense burst of sexual euphoria that surged through them.

As they let their orgasms come and subside, the two young lovers took a moment to catch their breath. They were both panting and their skin was still touching. Then, as Remy removed his softening cock from her pussy, they reluctantly broke contact and were left to recover from the intense sensations that they had just felt.

Rogue wasn’t sure how long she was in this state of afterglow as she simply let her mind relish in the wonderful feelings she had just felt. Yet as her mind caught up to her actions, she once again felt a wave of anxiety, turmoil, and even remorse come over her as she stood there naked with her Cajun lover. Even if it was only for a brief time, being with this man seemed to be the only way she could manage to find some sense of sanity and clarity. Yet with each passing session of euphoria, the confusion seemed only to get more intense for her as this man continued to dominate her mind.

Her own insecurities were keeping her from ever changing what they had and it seemed paradoxical that the only real way for her to deal with her problems was to get involved with the main source of them. But despite this…She couldn’t help it. Remy just had this…Hold on her that she couldn’t describe. Now the only way for her to every fight her paralyzing anxiety was to force them upon this man.

Looking over at the bewildered and utterly speechless Remy Lebeau, Rogue actually felt a strange sense of remorse for what she had just done. She came up to him…She took him aside…And she fucked him. He could sense there was something wrong with her, yet she still shut him out and just fucked him without giving it any real rational thought. He had been worried about her and she did this to him…Why couldn’t she just talk? Why couldn’t she just tell him what was on her mind? Why?

“Cherè…” he said, finally breaking the strange silence that had fallen over them, “Cherè are you…”

“I’m sorry Remy…” she said suddenly as she stood up and pulled her pants back up and grabbed her bra and shirt from the floor.

“Sorry? What are you…” he began, but Rogue once again cut him off.

“Please…Don’t make it worse,” she said, not able to look at him as she slipped her bra on and put her shirt back on.

“Worse?” said Remy as he now struggled to pull his pants up, “Come on, Rogue…Talk to me.”

Rogue wanted to…She wanted to more than anything at that moment. But she soon found herself too choked up to do so as she tried to keep her tears overtaking her as she quickly grabbed her backpack and made her way to the door.

“I’m sorry Remy…I just…Can’t,” she said, the strain apparent in her tone as she left.

“Rogue, wait!” he urged as grabbed his shirt and scrambled to put it back on as he tried to go after her, “Rogue…Please!”

But it was already too late…For by the time he had gotten to the door, she had slipped out into a stairwell and was out of sight once again. Leaving both her and her Cajun lover all alone again left to deal with what just happened. Things between them were just changing so fast…Almost too fast for them to keep up with. It was so hard and neither of them fully understood it…But as they were once again left to make sense out of that which had fallen over them, both Rogue and Remy could do nothing but wonder…For had been turned upside down since they had met each other, but they had no idea that it would have had that much of an impact on them. And on top of that…Neither of them had any clue as to where it would lead them next.

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Scott sauntered into his apartment in a tired stupor, feeling as though he was ready to collapse in exhaustion. He had not been sleeping very well over the past few days and it was beginning to take its toll on him both mentally and physically. While he was somewhat accustomed to sleeplessness given his military training and his rough past, he had never been rendered so restless for a reason like this before.

No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about how things were with Jean. In the weeks after they got back from Thanksgiving break, they had both been a bit distant from each other and in general. Scott found it increasingly hard to keep up with making it look as though nothing was amiss. Even his extensive mental conditioning with the marines couldn’t help him hide in the way he would have liked and it was starting to affect things between him and Jean.

They still went out like they always did and hung around as they had done before, but things had been a bit more reserved between them. They weren’t having sex as often as they once were, they both always seemed tired and stressed, and their once lively conversations were giving way to restlessness and uncertainty as their innate inability to just say what was on their mind practically paralyzed them. Scott knew he was doing an increasingly bad job of hiding it and he was worried that he was sending the wrong messages to Jean. He kept trying to reassure her, not to mention himself, but he had never been in this situation before. He had never been in a position where he was so certain that he had found ‘the one.’ In his heart, he knew Jean was the woman for him…She was everything he had ever wanted in a friend and lover. But putting something like that into words when he had so often had things taken away from him in his past was very difficult for him and he just couldn’t bring himself to tell her.

The past few months with Jean had been some of the best months of his insanely complicated life. And now that his feelings for her were evolving beyond anything he ever could have imagined, he was worried that it would ruin what they had. But with things between them getting all the more difficult because of the turmoil this was causing him, he knew he couldn’t avoid it forever.

As he collapsed upon his couch, Scott found himself trying to rest his eyes in an effort to catch up on some much needed sleep. But as was the case with pretty much the rest of his feeble attempts, he found himself doing less sleeping and more thinking. He kept going over the scenario’s in his head, taking what he knew about Jean and about himself and contemplating the outcomes. He remembered how Jean told him that she didn’t believe in ‘true love’ and how he had pretty much said the same. But in his case, that view had changed for him…And as far as he knew, Jean still ardently believed what she always had believed. So how would she react if he up and told her he was in love with her and thought she was ‘the one?’

Knowing Jean, her reaction probably wouldn’t be too favorable since she didn’t believe in ‘the one.’ And if he let her know that, things between them would probably never be the same and she may push him away because of it…Something Scott truly didn’t want. He could not lose this girl…That was not an option. Whether or not she accepted or rejected his confession was not what truly scared him…Losing her forever was what scared him. And if he had to put up with this anxiety for the rest of his life, yet it would still mean that he and Jean were together…He could manage that. But it didn’t make keeping everything so pent up any easier.

Eventually, Scott gave up trying to sleep and found himself reaching for his phone and calling someone who could probably give him better advice than he could ever muster on his own.

“Come on…Be there…Pick up,” said Scott as he waited anxiously for an answer.

It was a tense couple of moments for him…More so than they should have been. But given the situation, Scott Summers was just desperate to talk to somebody about this…Somebody who he hoped could help him with this complicated predicament that he now found himself in. Then finally…He got an answer.

“Yeah? Logan here,” answered Scott’s foster dad, who had just gotten back from the auto garage and was about to take a shower to wash the smell of engine oil off his burly body.

“Hey dad…It’s me,” answered Scott.

“Scottie!” said Logan enthusiastically, not expecting to hear from his son at this time of day, “How the hell are ya?”

“I’m okay,” he answered, but failed to hide the somewhat monotone sound in his voice.

“Okay?” said Logan, knowing his son well enough to pick up on times when something was wrong, “Ya call me at this time of day when ya know I’m just gettin’ home out of the blue, sounding as though you just shot yerself in the foot and you expect me to believe that your okay?”

Scott let out an exasperated sigh, feeling as though he should have known better than to try and fool his foster dad, who seemed to have the senses of a bloodhound at times. But he didn’t call home to further add to his streak of anxiety, he called for advice and he knew that if anybody could give him a blunt, straightforward answer…It was Logan.

“Yeah…I know I should probably know better by now…” said Scott as he sank back into the cushions of his couch.

“Yeah…You should Scott,” said Logan, “So are ya gonna tell me what’s wrong or am I gonna have to jump on my Harley, ride all the way to Bayville, and beat it out of ya?”

Scott managed to chuckle somewhat, glad to know that he could always count on his dad to say something to make him laugh even when he was in a state like this.

“It’s…A bit messed up,” said Scott, hoping to say this in the way he wanted, “It’s about Jean…”

“Oh…I see,” said Logan, grinning to himself on the other side, knowing only Jean could ever make Scott sound this down.

“Yeah…I thought you would,” said Scott, remembering all the things about her he had told him over Thanksgiving, “Things have been a bit…Distant between us lately.”

“Distant?” said Logan, sounding as though he didn’t believe that in the slightest, “It’s only been a few weeks since ya left. How could they get distant?”

“Well, They just…” stammered Scott, struggling to explain it when he himself didn’t fully understand it.

Then, it suddenly came to Logan as he managed to put two and two together as he heard his son struggle with the right words…Something he didn’t often do except when it involved something major.

“Ya didn’t tell her, did you?” said Logan, making it sound more like a statement and less a question.

“No…” said Scott with a sigh.

“Ya mean to tell me that in the two weeks you two have been back at that school of yours…Ya haven’t told her how ya feel?” he said, sounding both humored and concerned that Scott would let something like this eat away at him.

“I know…” said Scott over the line, the deep monotone in his voice not changing, “It’s…Been rough.”

“Rough?” scoffed Logan, not believing in that for a second, “Scott…You know as well as I do that you’ve been in a war zone, on the streets, and through high school…You know and I know that rough is only a relative term that doesn’t mean shit in this instance. I know ya Scottie…I know when there’s more to it than that. Now come on…Tell me. What’s wrong?”

Scott hesitated briefly as he took a deep breath, going over the situation in his head once more, not feeling as though it had gotten any clearer for him. However, he knew that if he was going to get any kind of help from anybody, he was going to have to be able to say it first…Which was a feat easier said than done for him.

“Dad…You remember how I first admitted that I was in love with Jean on that day we first arrived…” he began as he fought to make it sound as clear as possible, not just for Logan, but for him as well.

“Hell yeah I remember…” said Logan in response, “That look on your face ya had when you first admitted it ain’t easy to forget.”

“Well admitting that to myself was one thing…Admitting that to her is just…It’s just so much harder than I thought,” he said, rubbing the temples of his head, “I know you and mom told me that I should tell her…But it just isn’t that easy.”

“Oh come on bub, what makes ya say that?” said Logan, thinking Scott was really letting this get more complicated than it had to be…Even when it involved something as complicated as love.

“It’s just that…Jean has told me time and time again that she doesn’t believe in true love…And I’ve told her the same,” said Scott, feeling all the more conflicted by what he was going with this, “But now…That one notion that was once so engrained within me has just been completely shattered now that I’m with Jean and it’s not an easy thing for me to process.”

“But ya know you’re in love with her Scott,” argued Logan, “Hell, I know too…And so does your mother. And I’d bet a ton of other people you wouldn’t suspect know it too because watchin’ the way you two acted around each other while you were here just made it as clear as night and day. I mean, face it Scott…You’re head over heals for this girl.”

“I know…I know,” said Scott, sounding all the more distraught, “Jean’s the one…That much I’m certain of.”

“Then what’s makin’ you feel so shitty about all this?” asked Logan, thinking it had to be something more than just nervousness.

Scott let out another sigh that echoed through the phone as he found himself staring disheartened at the floor, truly feeling at a loss over this predicament.

“It’s just that…What Jean and I have now is just so wonderful. And if I told her…If I just up and said to her that I was in love with her when she doesn’t believe in something like that…I don’t know how things will ever be the same between us,” said Scott, wishing there was something he could do to hold onto this relationship he had come to treasure so much, “I mean…These past few months have just been…Amazing. And I’m afraid that if I tell her…I’ll push her away…And I’ll lose her. And I can’t lose this girl. I don’t think I could handle losing Jean…”

“Hey! Calm down Scott…” coaxed Logan, feeling as though his son was getting a bit too hysterical, “Now you’re just acting paranoid. I mean come on…This isn’t like you.”

“I know…” admitted Scott, “But…Love makes you do crazy things I guess.”

“Don’t I know it…” said Logan, speaking truthfully from his many years of experience with Ororo, “Look…Ya can’t let yourself get so damn crazy about this. I know it’s scary, but just answer me one thing Scott…Can you honestly keep something like this in forever?”

Scott once again found himself rubbing his head with his hand, feeling that this situation was just beyond anything he had ever dealt with before. Fighting a war was easier than this, for at least he knew what to do. In this situation, he didn’t have a clue…But he still knew one thing for certain…He was in love with Jean Grey.

“No…” he answered affirmatively, “No…I can’t.”

“Then the only thing that’s gonna happen is that it’s gonna keep eating you up inside!” said Logan, trying to pound into his stubborn son’s head that which he was so slowly coming to ascertain, “And in the end…That’s gonna be what pushes Jeannie away from you. And ask yourself this Scott…What if you tell her you really love her…And she tells you she loves ya back? What if the reason why things have been distant between you two lately is because you both are dealing with this same shit? And even if that isn’t the case, doesn’t she deserve to know? Doesn’t she deserve a little honesty on your part?”

Scott knew his dad had a point. He had been down those roads with Ororo, but he had never faced a situation like this with Jean. Then again…What if he did tell Jean and she felt the same way? What would happen to their relationship? Just how deep could it go? What they had was so profound…Would bringing something like this to light make it even more so, but with one major difference…Clarity?

Finally, Scott stopped rubbing his sore head and got up off the couch, feeling a new sense of energy and drive. He couldn’t stand keeping this bottled up any longer…He had to put it to rest. The outcome no longer mattered to him…All that mattered was letting her know.

“Yes…She deserves to know,” said Scott in an affirmative tone that made Logan smile on the other line.

“Then what are ya gonna do now Scott?” said Logan, knowing his son was now on the right track.

“I’m going to go over there and tell her…” he said with confidence, making it clear that he was not going to back down.

“Good…Then what are ya talkin’ to me for?” he said with a grin, “Get off your ass and go find your girl!”

“Right…Thanks dad,” said Scott as he quickly hung up phone and grabbed his coat…For now all he could think about was Jean…And no matter what happened, he was going to tell her…He was going to tell her that he loved her.

With nothing standing in his way other than distance and the December cold, Scott Summers left his apartment and began walking down the fateful path towards the home of the beautiful redheaded woman that had captured his heart. He could not hide the deep nervousness he felt in his mind, but he set that aside…For Jean Grey awaited him.

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AN: I’ll stop there for now. I know it’s kind of a cliffhanger, but that’s all the more reason to stay tuned to the next chapter! Trust me…It’ll be one you won’t want to miss! Will Scott confess and will Jean do the same? If you want to find out, you’ll just have to wait and see! There’s still plenty more to come and I hope you all have enjoyed it thus far! And remember, don’t forget to REVIEW! Send them to me at slickboy444@aol.com or post them in the fanfiction website! Either way is fine as long as you REIVEW! Thanks a bunch for reading everybody and I wish you all the best!