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One Man's Worth (previously Where there's a Will)	By : ChrisCross Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Captain America Views: 2401 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or the Marvel'verse , I make no money, this is for fun only.

Chapter List
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* A.N. Thank you for your input, I course corrected a little bit, and re-watched the movie to get quotes. I'm really liking writing a subtext Fan Fic. A shout out to RogueMudblood, thank's for the Muse Chow! My muse only eats feedback, so you helped me keep him fed.*

“I Want You”

Things changed rapidly after graduation. Bucky and Steve were both given scholarships to New York City Junior College. Bucky’s was in the athletics program; Steve’s was for the art department. They remained best friends but now there was a tension between them. Philip and Mary were always in the back of Steve’s mind, as was his new realization that he did love his friend. More deeply than any other emotion he had ever had. At night there was the constant reoccurring dream of marriage to the man he loved, and as time went by, the number of times he had to change his sheets grew. His reckless disregard for the odds and his own limits also grew. He got in more fights, with bigger or more opponents, and when a year into college the Japs attacked Pearl Harbor, he was the first in line at the recruitment office, where he received his first 4F. Bucky, too changed. He hopped from one girl to the next, never settling on any one woman to be his girl. He developed a reputation as a total gentleman, who was emotionally unavailable. Girls spent hours trying to figure it out, and so did Steve. James (as he was now called by all but Steve) spent more time with his friend than with any of those women, and his dating someone was conditional on them finding a date for his best friend, and for the four of them to go out together. When he found out about Steve’s 4F, he was livid. It was their first real fight.
“Do you have a death wish? You’d be slaughtered!”
“I can’t just sit and do nothing! Not when the stakes are this high. I know I’m weak, I’m sickly, and I’m not as good as you, but god damn it, I can’t stay here!”
“I’m not saying you’re not good enough, Steve, and you know it.”
“What I know is that you can’t know why I feel this way about bullies, James Buchanan Barnes, you saw some of it, but you never saw all of it, and seeing it isn’t the same as living it. Right now, over there, thousands of people are going through that same horrid waking nightmare. You were there to save me, to help me. But these people need help too. Imitation is the highest form of flattery James, and you ought to feel real flattered!”
That fight was the beginning of what Steve thought of as the great divide. Bucky’s world of athletes and pretty girls flowed swiftly away from the old friendship the two once had. Each time that Steve tried to enlist, Bucky’s anger seemed less. It appeared as though he no longer cared about what Steve did. In response, Steve tried pulling back. He tried to shove down the feelings of hurt and betrayal over Bucky’s seeming apathy, but also started trying to get his friend to notice him. The fights were almost daily when Bucky enlisted. Steve said nothing, but he cried himself to sleep that night with a heart full of terror at his love going into battle. He then realized that maybe, just maybe, that was why Bucky had gotten upset. That he feared the loss of his friend, that maybe he…No, a guy like James would never feel that way about him. There was very little there to love.
The day that he got his fourth 4F, he also got into a fight behind a movie theater. Just like when they met, Bucky bailed him out of trouble. Unlike before, Bucky was in uniform, and Steve couldn’t help but notice how handsome his best friend was. The crisp jacket and shirt were filled out well by Bucky’s muscular chest and precisely ironed trousers outlined his lean legs. Although Bucky tried his best to get the girls they were taking to the Modern Marvels of Tomorrow to notice his friend, Steve’s attention was elsewhere. Now that Bucky had his orders, he would go overseas and Steve would have no way of knowing if he was alright. At the first opportunity he slipped away from the group and entered the recruitment station set up across from Stark’s anti-gravity car. Bucky reprimanded him for trying again.
“You know it’s illegal to lie on your Enlistment form. What if they catch you? Or worse, what if they take you?!”
Steve made his standard arguments, but the fight was cut short when the girls called out. The two men parted with friendly ribbing, and Steve hugged his love, fearing this was the last time they would stand together.
“Don’t win the war ‘till I get there!”
After the physical, he met a small German doctor, Dr. Erskine, who pointed out the five attempts to enlist. When asked if he wanted to go to war to kill Nazis, Steve blinked and said the first thing that came to mind, “I don’t want to kill anybody. I just really don’t like bullies; I don’t care where they’re from.” The energetic older man swiftly got Steve a 1A rated approval , Erskine never promised success, but he offered a short, thin, asthmatic kid with a medical history a mile long a chance. A chance was more than he had ever had before. Steve’s heart leapt with joy. If he tried hard, if he did his best, he might get to fight in the war. If he fought in the war, he might be worthy of Bucky. He silently vowed to become the best he could be. For Bucky.
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One Man's Worth (previously Where there's a Will)

* A.N. Thank you for your input, I course corrected a little bit, and re-watched the movie to get quotes. I'm really liking writing a subtext Fan Fic. A shout out to RogueMudblood, thank's for the Muse Chow! My muse only eats feedback, so you helped me keep him fed.*