Running to Stand Still

"Scott, love, stop lookin' out the window." Rogue pulled him away to the couch, curling up around him so that he couldn't get up again. "They're fine."

"I don't care about them, I care about Kat." He scowled and crossed his arms across his chest. "Logan can go hang for all I care." He'd slept fitfully the night before and couldn't rest easy until she was home.

Rogue smoothed a hand over his hair. "Ah know ya feel helpless, sugah, but ya can't do anything until they're home, which should be any minute now."

As if in answer, they both heard the door out to the garage open and bolted up, hurrying to greet Kat and Logan.

She was awake but in Logan's arms, head against his chest. They were both stained with blood. "Hey," she said, reaching for Scott's hand. "I'm okay, it only looks bad."

"You aren't kidding," Scott replied, tracing the scars on her face. "C'mon, Hank is in the medlab anxious to check you over."

All four descended in the elevator, Kat insisting on walking under her own power. When she stumbled the first few steps it was Rogue who caught her arm and helped her to the medlab, Logan left behind to walk with Scott.

"You know you hurt her," Scott said, voice pitched for Logan's ears only. "She's been worried for weeks, wondering why you've been pushing her away."

Logan growled, grabbing Scott's sleeve and jerking him back. "Listen, One Eye, don't fuck with me right now. I know how much I've hurt her, probably better than you think you do, and I'm going to fix that. Not by running away, and not by staying farther away from her."

His face and tone suddenly softened, the energy running out of him. "I know I fucked up and it's killing me inside. I left because I knew that if I stayed I was putting Kat and everyone else in danger. Sabretooth would have come here and hurt her."

Scott shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do with a penitent Wolverine. "Is that how she got the marks on her face?"

The shorter man nodded. "I was down and she came to me, I guess he attacked her. I was unconscious at that point and she hasn't said anything about it." He hung his head. "She killed him, Scott. She crushed his heart and I didn't stop her in time."

Rogue came back down the hall, stopping a few feet away. "Ah hate ta interrupt ya'll, but Hank wants a look at Logan, too." She moved forward and hugged him, whispering, "Whatever it is, she'll forgive ya. Just give it time."

"Thanks darlin'."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hank let them both go after thoroughly checking them over; Logan was completely healed, and Kat's face and leg were still in the process. They shooed Scott and Rogue away and walked silently to their room.

Kat went straight to the shower, quickly finishing and letting Logan use it. When he came out wearing sweats she was dressed in shorts and a tank top, sitting cross-legged on the bed. His tags were around her neck, hidden in the shirt.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, but the anger he'd expected wasn't there in her voice.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing unruunruly hair dry with a towel. "Before I met you, before you came here, Professor Xavier offered to help me find my past. I went up to Canada, to Alkali Lake, and there I ran into Victor Creed. Seems we knew each other years ago, but more importantly he knew a bit of my past.

"He told me I had been a military experiment, that they'd grafted this adamantium to my bones because I could heal anything they did to me. I tried to get more out of him but he wouldn't tell me a damn thing.

Kat nodded, curling up and settling back into her mound of pillows. "He didn't seem like the greatest guy in the world." Her fingers absently played with the edge of a pillowcase as she watched him. "Why did you meet him at that cabin?"

"He said he was going to come after me no matter where I was. I couldn't endanger you or the school; I've spent the past few weeks trying to find a way out of it, a way to keep you safe but I screwed that up." Logan dropped the towel on the floor, rough, blunt fingers touching her hands on the pillow. "I wanted to protect you."

Her fingers curled around his, pale against dark. "I don't want or need to be protected, Logan. And there isn't any room in this relationship for lies, even ones of omission." Her grip tightened almost painfully. "I can't even begin to tell you how much I want things to go back to the way they were, to be able to trust you completely again, but they can't, and I can't." Tears were forming in her eyes, held wide to keep them from falling. But she didn't let go of his hand.

"I … I know, babe, I'm so sorry." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, fearing he'd see something in her eyes that he wouldn’t be able to handle. "I wish there was something I could say other than sorry."

She smiled, lips trembling. "I know you're sorry, and I'm willing to forgive you. I'm not exactly known for being open about my problems so I can't fault you in hiding yours from me. But you put your life in danger, you could have died out there and none of us would have known where you were. You could have left me alone." The half-formed fear grew in her mind and she stamped it down, acknowledging that the danger was past. He was home, safe. She wanted so badly to take him in her arms and fall asleep, but she couldn't.

"I'm gonna go sleep in Rogue's old room."

Logan's head shot up. "What?"

"Rogue said it was still open, I'm going to move out of here for a little while." She squeezed his hand before letting go. "I need to do this."

He swallowed, searching for something to say, but in the end he nodded. "I understand.
I --"

She leaned over and pressed her fingers to his lips. "Don't make this harder, Logan. Let me have enough strength to walk out of here."

He nodded again. "I'll get out of here and let you move your stuff," he said, throwing a shirt on and loping out.

Kat drew her knees up and rested her face against them, breathing hard and willing the tears to go away. For a moment she thought she'd break and then the tears were gone, replaced with a bone-crushing weariness. She staggered to her feet and took a duffel bag from the closet, stuffing her toiletries in it. Her clothes went into a basket and took several trips to move. The ferrets moved with her, too, speg a g a few minutes to sniff out the new room before going back in the cage and curling up together.

The room she moved to was bare, and even setting her things in the bathroom didn't make it seem anymore personal. She brought her comforter and pillows in but the room was still not right. She laid down on the bed to think; it was only a matter of moments before she fell asleep.