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The Seductive Spider-Harem	By : rubicon541 Category: Marvel Verse Comics > Spiderman Views: 84775 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 9
Disclaimer: I do not nor do I claim to own Spider-Man or any associated characters or any other characters from the Marvel Universe. I also do not own the fandom of Spider-Man or the Marvel Universe.

Chapter List
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"So... that's the long and the short of it," Peter said, poking at a knish with a fork. "Ollie can literally do anything -- I mean, you saw Gwen, but you can only unlock her power with lust, desire, sex... and I'm just waiting for the explosion. Really, I live for that moment you scream 'Parker!' at me. But... Jeez, Jonah. Who else do I talk to about this? MJ? She's already jumping into the possibilities. Gwen? Is back because of Ollie's power. Aunt May? I am not telling Aunt May I have a sex djinn. You're... I can't even imagine I'm saying this. You're the closest thing I have to a moral center who's also seen just how insane my life -- our lives -- can be."
Jonah was staring at Peter. He then looked down at his own Rueben. Peter hadn't started on his, yet.
He looked back up. "Give me your pickle," he said.
"What?"
"I said give me your pickle! Cockamamie story like that -- you don't get a pickle! God knows what you'd try to do with it! Degenerate -- I always knew those tights were some kind of sex dungeon thing, and here we are--"
"Hey!" Peter paused. "That's more the Black Cat than the rest of us."
"Don't get me started on her." Jonah took Peter's pickle. "The worst part? You think -- all you kids think you invented sex. Like I haven't heard or seen it all before. And you're so afraid of shocking your aunt. Your aunt lived through the Sixties, the Women's Lib movement, the Sexual Revolution, and Red Shoe Diaries being first run on Cinemax! Stupidest thing I ever... so what do you want me to tell you? Not to do it? To marry this poor genie? What makes you think I have the magic 8 ball to tell you what to do?"
"Because..." Peter snorted, looking down at his food. "Jonah... I've been thinking about the day you fired me."
"Which one? That was my midweek pickup for quite a while."
"The last time. The real time. After..."
"After you faked a photo you then released from the City of New York's Mayoral Office? That real time?"
"Yeah. You said that my intentions may have been good, but my ethics were deplorable."
"I remember." Jonah picked up his sandwich. "Because they were. And are." He took a bite.
"Ar-- hey!"
Jonah swallowed. "Parker, you spent your teenaged years taking pictures of yourself and selling them to me as news. News! And I know. You needed the money. You never had any control over how we used them. I get that. But you had an incontrovertible conflict of interest in every shot, and you never disclosed it. That wasn't just a lie, Parker! That was the definition of unethical behavior in Journalism." He took another bite. "No-- Mm. Mustard's too strong. Now I've made more than my share of mistakes, and I've had my nose rubbed in my morality more than once. God knows the things I did to you were wrong. But I always tried -- tried -- to pursue my crusades ethically. If the Bugle got a Spider-Man story wrong, even if it put..." Jonah snorted. "That 'menace' in a good light and us in a bad light, we printed a retraction and we did it on Page 1, not Page 19 under the police blotter like that rag the Globe!"
"...yeah. I know."
Jonah looked at Peter. "Now don't get me wrong, Parker. I think you're a good kid. Literally. I think you're moral. But morality is an absolute -- and it's worse because you ask any three people what that absolute was? You get three different answers! But morality and ethics aren't the same thing! And that's why -- morality is a matter for Priests and philosophers. Ethics is what gets regular joes like you and me through our day! Living by a code, even when it hurts! Telling the truth, even when it's not to our benefit!" He looked at the sandwich in his hands. "Firing a good kid who loved you so much he'd make up a whopper to save you, and telling the whole world why. Parker, you always got the morality right. But the ethics? You never got that. If it was 'the right thing' then how you got there didn't matter! You talk about your luck like it haunts you. What haunts you is the easy shortcut. The lie. The way to slip the right thing past the front gate even when the wrong thing has a restraining order! Hell, that's part of what vigilantism is! And I never supported that and you know it!"
"And so Robbie fires me--"
"Robbie made a mistake. He shouldn't have fired you today, and I read him the riot act for doing it. Not because you had any business in that photo lab -- you didn't. Not after what you pulled! He should never have hired you for a photo job, even in a lab! But the time to make that call was when he hired you! If he hadn't known, then sure. But he knew, and he hired you anyway -- and then some yahoos found out and raised a ruckus and he threw you under the bus! He made the same mistake you did -- cut a corner ethically and then punched out when he got caught at it!"
"I shouldn't have taken that job in the first place."
"Man's got to eat, and you were trying to do an honest day's work. Can't fault you for that." Jonah dropped his sandwich on his plate. "Parker -- Peter... you've been under stress I didn't know about... n_one_ of us knew about... for years. As long as I've known you. Carrying guilt around and the weight of the world, which you keep saving and yes, I admit it. I admit I was wrong about Spider-Man! But a secret like that? It's like a lie. And when you start with a lie, you have to build on that lie! That picture you faked -- you said you've been thinking about it, which is no shock because it got thrown in your face today! But you didn't just do it to save me! You did it because you had real evidence I was innocent, but to give the public that would have outed 'Spider-Man.' So you faked evidence because you couldn't give the real evidence! If you just told the truth then--"
"Jonah... if people know who Spider-Man is... people get hurt. They die. We know that. It happened to Aunt May. It can happen--"
"How many times has May been hurt, Peter? How many times have your enemies shown up to get her? Or attacked Watson? Or Harry Osborne? Or me? I didn't know you were Peter Parker until... what, a month ago? And yet your enemies kept finding excuses to blow up my damn office!"
"It's not that simple, Jonah."
"It's as simple as you let it be, son." He shook his head. "I think of how many years I spent in a foolish crusade..."
"Jonah? Were you ready to know, before all this?"
Jonah kept looking at the sandwich. "So what do you want from me, Parker? Wisdom? Do I seem particularly wise to you?"
"Depends on the day. Jonah... Ollie has unlimited power--"
"Bull hockey!"
"I brought Gwen back to--"
"This woman claims to have unlimited power, but only for sexy things! Unlimited, if you work within her limits. That means she has limited power, Parker. Which means she's a damn good advertiser and salesman, but you don't actually know how limited she actually is!"
"...okay, good point."
"And right there, too. She has all this power, so what did you do? Brought back Gwen Stacy. No doubt through questionable means, since this woman claims it's all about sex. And that's fine -- I'm no prude. I'll sue anyone who says otherwise! But lot of people say lust is a sin. If you have to sin to get a saint back, what's that make this, Parker?"
Peter flushed. "Jonah? What about Marla?"
Jonah froze.
"Or Mattie? Or... or your first wife!"
"Joan," Jonah said, softly. "Her name was Joan."
"Jonah... whatever the method... I remember... I remember when New U offered you Marla and Mattie back. I remember how outraged you were... and deserved to be..."
"You and I remember those days very differently, Parker," Jonah said, as quietly as he said anything.
"What?"
"I remember... how far I was willing to go, how desperate I was for the miracle to work. I did ugly things. Said ugly things. Things unworthy of my wife, or my daughter. That's the problem with miracles. They're only ever so miraculous." He shook his head. "This is why it's dangerous -- this power, no matter what the source. Who decides? Who decides who comes back from the grave, or rewrites fate?"
"...apparently? Me."
"And we've already established you have a problem with ethics when morality's on the line. This isn't a simple photo or a career, Parker!"
"And you're wondering why I'd ask you for advice?"
Jonah snuffled. Then started eating his lunch again. "And Flash?"
"Of course. That was never a question."
"Because he was my fault, Parker. And... I... understand... the pressure you're under, when I think of Flash Thompson. If I could wipe the consequences of that mistake clean... I do know why Gwen Stacy's in your apartment instead of the ground, and I'm not questioning that." Jonah sighed, slightly. "So. What about my father? He lived a long, good life. Had love at the end. We made up, more or less. And May and I have had time to grieve. Do we pull him back? If so, how? As an old man? Or younger than me? Marla -- do I bring back Marla, in the flush of life? If so, don't I owe it to Joan to bring her back too? But if I do, then are they both my wives? It's easy to think of the fantasy... the perfect life. Even the two-wives-sex thing. Your generation didn't invent that either, I'll have you know! But will May welcome my father back? Or will she be looking for your Uncle Ben? And for that matter... what about your Uncle Ben?"
"...I have no idea," Peter said.
"Good. That's a good sign. Maybe you're learning something yet. Entirely my influence, you understand." Jonah picked up the pickle he stole off Parker's plate. "Mattie yes. Mattie never had a chance to live. Though if you need to -- there are things I don't need to know about her return, Parker!"
"...we so agree on that one, Jonah."
"Good! Good." He bit into the pickle. "Not Marla. Not yet. I have to think about... about Marla and Joan. Flash and Mattie -- they're both heroes, right? They'll fit right into this. But Marla and Joan..."
"Marla was a hero too, Jonah. And so are you."
Jonah rolled his eyes. "Don't get sentimental. And watch out for that Tony Stark! Man makes you look like a saint. He's not the one to take advice from."
"Yeah, I learned that lesson." Peter tried not to sound bitter.
"Oh Parker," Jonah said, shaking his head. "Right. Get the Hell out of here. Go see that blue girl and your loved ones. And tell Stark he owes me a Moxie!"
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The Seductive Spider-Harem