To Love and Be Loved By Me | By : HisAsgardianAngel Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 3988 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Marvel owns all characters but the babies. I do not make profit, this is written just out of my enjoyment and bordness. I have no rights to The Avengers or Marvel in anyway. |
Loki didn't take the news of his mothers passing well. He blamed himself, and on top of all that pain he felt like a dirty whore for what had happened with Steve, especially since Tony had seen it. He couldn't close his eyes without it haunting him, the awful feeling of Steve's manhood inside him never quite going away, as if it was impossible to wash himself of the act. Finding it unbearable to look at Tony, Loki had packed his things and begun to leave, starting an enormous fight with Tony, who felt like Loki was leaving because he didn't get to him quick enough. Loki now found himself sitting alone in a Babies R Us, his suitcase beside him, looking glumly at a Onesee that read "Grandma Loves Me". Tears ran down his face as he gently rubbed his pregnant belly, so confused and so angry.
"Your grandmother did love you, she loved you so very much. And now she's gone, and I don't know what to do. She was always my rock, she helped me through everything, but who is going to help me through this? Thor's grieving too, and I don't wish to bother him and your father…he probably hates me. I didn't mean to hurt him, baby girl, I promise you I didn't…he was trying so hard to be there for me and I threw it in his face. Now you're all I have. You'll comfort mummy, won't you?" The baby kicked gently and Loki smiled through his tears, patting the place where he'd felt the tiny feet.
"Thank you, angel. Though I suppose I don't deserve your kindness. I let that filthy Captain America defile not just me…but you. My body is your home…I let him break into your home, and I'm so sorry. I was so scared he was going to kill you otherwise, my little one, and I can't ever lose you. You and your father are the best things to ever happen to me. A-And I know your daddy must think I'm undesirable now…another man has been in what was supposed to be only his, and I don't know how to fix it." Loki buried his face into his hands and sobbed harshly, feeling worse than he had the very day Tony had consoled him in SHIELD's glass prison when they first fell in love. A lady then walked by and stopped for a few seconds, a look of concern crossing her face.
"Ma'am, are you alright? Is it contractions or something, do I need to call an ambulance?" Loki, who was used to being mistaken for a woman since he'd been pregnant, smiled sadly and shook his head.
"No, thank you. I'm only six months pregnant, it's not that. I just had a fight with my fiancé, that's all." She scoffed.
"And he left you here? What a douche bag!" Loki chuckled and sniffled a bit, wiping some stray tears on his sleeve.
"Oh no, he would never do anything like that. I stormed out of our house and came here by myself. Nowhere else to go. I'm sure he's worried…if he doesn't hate me. But I can't face him after everything that's happened." The nice lady bent down and offered Loki her cell-phone.
"Oh, sweetheart, give him a call. I'm sure he doesn't hate you, and he'll come pick you up." Loki looked down at his engagement ring and thought about that day at the park, the pure adoration in Tony's eyes when he presented him with the ring.
"Alright, thank you."
Meanwhile, Tony was laying in the middle of the living room floor, one of Loki's shirts (one that had been in the laundry since Loki had taken the others) in one hand and a bottle of Jameson in the other. Loki had been gone for several hours and there was a gaping whole in Tony's heart. This was it, he thought, he'd lost everything. Tony honestly didn't believe Loki was coming home, not after the fight they'd just had. 'I just can't do this anymore Anthony, I can't even look at you! I just…I'm sorry.' Tony heard those words echoing throughout his mind, taking another long swig from the bottle in an attempt to drown it out. Of course Loki had meant he couldn't look at Tony out of shame, but that's not how Stark saw it at all. Everything bad that had happened to Loki was his fault, he thought, and he couldn't blame Loki for leaving his sorry ass. Tony pulled the shirt, which was the first shirt he'd ever given Loki, the ACDC one, to his nose and sniffed it.
"And the clothes you left, they lie on my floor. And they smell just like you…I love the things that you do. When you walk away I count the steps that you take…do you see how much I need you right now?" Tony was hardly singing, more like drunkenly shouting lyrics at his ceiling, sputtering off about the pieces of his heart missing Loki when Bucky caught his eye. Bucky had gotten a better hang on crawling today, it seemed, because he was doing less slithering as he came towards the billionaire.
"Go away, Buck." Tony pleaded gently, not really wanting anyone around to see this, infant or not. Bucky ignored the request and tugged at Tony's pants leg, making one of the cutest sounds he'd ever heard.
"Oh okay, what is it little man?" Tony asked, sitting the bottle and shirt down and pulling the baby onto his chest to lay with him. Bucky simply grinned at Tony, drooling on him a bit and letting out a playful squeal, sticking his tiny fingers in Tony's facial hair. Tony couldn't help the smile that crept on to his face as he gently ruffled the boys hair.
"Loki absolutely adored this ginger hair of yours…he'd never seen anything like it before." Tony chuckled at the memory, but then his heart broke all over again, remembering that he'd ruined everything just a week before they were to be wed. One week and that sweet, perfect man would have been his husband. His dark, tortured, lonely…oh lord. Tony had fought so hard to ease all the pain out of Loki, to make him happy, and while the God was always going to be mischievous and have a twisted sense of humor, which Tony enjoyed, he'd been making so much progress the last few months. He'd become so gentle and loving, so full of compassion, and what was Tony doing, just giving up and letting Loki throw all that away over one little fight? Tony kissed Bucky's forehead, sat him on the floor and jumped up.
"Oh god, Bucky, I should have ran after him, what the hell is wrong with me? I was just so angry…" Tony bolted for the door when suddenly his phone rang.
"Yeah yeah I can't talk right now, I'm looking for my fiancé-" It was then that he realized whose voice was on the other end.
"A-Anthony? You're looking for me?" Relief flooded Tony and his heart raced, so thankful that his love was safe and didn't seem to hate him.
"Of course, baby, where are you? Oh god, are you alright? Is the baby alright? Do you feel okay?" Loki laughed shakily, a good indicator to Tony that he was crying.
"I'm fine, Anthony, we both are fine. Just please come and get me, I'm in Babies R Us…aisle three…" Tony was already out the door and in the elevator.
"I'm coming, Loki, hang on, I'm coming." Loki handed the lady her phone back and sighed, resting his hands on his belly and smiling gratefully at her.
"Thank you, ma'am, he is coming." The lady nodded and walked away, Loki feeling a little better now that he knew Tony wasn't too angry with him.
It didn't take Tony too awfully long to get there, as he had sped, and he ran to aisle three, his heart beating erratically, and his chest feeling like it was going to burst with love as he saw his fiancé sitting in a corner with his suitcase. Loki stood up quickly and Tony sucked him into an instantaneous embrace, tears springing to his eyes as he threaded his fingers into Loki's raven mane.
"You smell like whiskey." Loki whimpered, earning a half sniffle half snort from his counterpart.
"I always smell like whiskey." Loki nuzzled into Tony, his hands reaching up and fingering the scruff of the goatee he loved so much.
"Yes, but you smell like you've just drank a liquor store." There was worry in Loki's voice, and Tony wanted nothing more than to ease it, he wanted everything to go back to the way it'd been before.
"Don't worry about it, baby, you're with me again. All is right with the world when I have you by my side." Loki regained the death grip he'd had on Tony the night he'd been rapped, and it stopped Tony's heart cold, fearing for his loves emotional state.
"How do you not find me disgusting?" Loki finally choked out, Tony's chocolate eyes melting into liquid pools, taking his fiancé's face gently in his hands in an attempt at comforting him.
"How could I ever find you disgusting? Baby, it was just a little fight." Loki took a deep breath and shook his head.
"No, not that. Do you know why I left?" Tony didn't say anything but his eyes betrayed him and Loki's own widened in shock.
"It wasn't your fault, not at all. I…I couldn't look at your face, a face full of so much love that I deserve none of. Tony you saw what he did to me, that was something that was supposed to be only yours, I only ever wanted to be with you…and he stole that. I let him steal it, and defile our child…it's my fault! I s-should have been able to make him stop!" Understanding finally washed over his features and he pulled Loki into a very soft kiss.
"No, Loki, you were raped, you didn't go cheat on me, there is a big difference. You've still only been with me, sweetheart, you have. You didn't make love to him, there was no love in the act that took place that night, nothing but fear and hate. You've only made love to me, and our baby girl is the fruit of that, perfect and pure. Steve hasn't changed that. My only wish is that I made that fucker pay with his life, I have no problem going to jail, other than I would have to leave you all alone, and I can't do that. Never." Loki crushed his lips against Tony's and wrapped his arms around his neck.
"Do you forgive me? I'm so sorry that I left like that…I just felt like it was what was fair to you." Tony put a finger to Loki's lips and gently shushed him.
"Of course I do, I love you so much. Come home? Please? If you still want me that is, I know I failed you when I didn't rescue you in time-" Loki cut him off.
"You have never failed me. You fought through a swarm of armed agents and nearly died for me, and if you hadn't come when you did I might not even still be alive right now. I want to go home, to our bed, to your arms…and I want to marry you. I just want to be able to forget it, I want to be happy, be your husband." Tony picked Loki up bridal style with one strong arm and got his suitcase with the other, kissing the God's temple.
"I will help you forget if it's the last thing I do. All I can offer to you is my love, my undying affection. We're going to get married, very soon, and go on the best honeymoon, and I will try my hardest to be the most supportive husband in the world. We'll get through this." Loki sighed and snuggled into Tony's arms.
"You're my everything. Thank you."
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