Acceptance | By : ScereyahaDreamweaver Category: Marvel Verse Movies > Avengers, The Views: 3928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel (nor the avengers, nor science boyfrinds), It's fandom, nor theses characters, just this interpretation of their relationship, I make no money from this. |
The walk back to Anthony’s personal quarters was a bit awkward; both of them wearing scrubs and carrying their clothes, both of them smelling like sex and hoping no one would pass them in the elevator. They took turns clearing their throats, but every sound seemed too loud to them. It was a relief when they got through the door and closed the world out behind them.
“We should shower. I mean, we should both…“ Anthony said, following that with a hand gesture indicating he would take care of their clothing.
He pointed unnecessarily towards where the showers were, after accepting a rolled bundle of clothes, turning to walk backwards a bit. He suddenly seemed a little nervous. Not in any really obvious way, he was just suddenly not being half as assumptive and was volunteering distance between them, despite that it was obvious enough that he did not want to. Bruce knew this was him trying to cope with the uncomfortably sudden feeling of attachment, and took this as a cue to make it plain that he still was not having any second thoughts.
“You mean you’re… not coming with me?” He had never imagined himself to be the flirting type, and yet there he was.
Anthony had dropped the clothing into a basket through a doorway, and now walked back towards him.
“If you think you can handle it.” Anthony’s retort would have almost seemed pointed, if he did not so obviously want him to say yes.
He had just put himself out on an emotional limb, over a river of disastrous consequences, to reach out to the one person he was close to, to offer something of himself that kind of terrified him, it was expected he would want to feel reassured that it was going well.
After what had happened earlier, Bruce was sure he was safe spending his time being reassuring. He could have easily made some comment about anyone having an issue being able to handle Anthony, but instead he pulled him forward and kissed his forehead. He had to lean on his toes to reach, as Anthony was actually four inches taller than he was. Anthony had significantly more mass than him in general, for all of his muscle and as unobvious as it was, and yet Bruce thought that it was he who somehow almost appeared more masculine. Since his youth, he had become broader of frame, and had rougher features. There was something trim and tidy about Anthony that seemed almost dainty by comparison, not that anyone would really ever accuse him of that. He still looked quite masculine enough, with all the dense muscle mass and sharp angles.
“I’ll help you wash your back. If you, um, stay away from… jokes involving soap.” Bruce honestly was considering that Anthony’s quips about homoerotic context might be even worse now.
The look on Bruce’s face made him want to laugh. Of course, Anthony himself was now quite inclined to nearly regret some of the comments he had made. He had not been flirting or intending anything at the time, but it did occur to him that his teasing had taken up a distinct theme over the past while, and given what had happened between them, they seemed less like jokes now, and slightly more mortifying to think about.
“You know I wasn’t, you know, flirting, at the time.” Anthony said as he began to lead the way, a glance off to the side betraying his slight uncertainty.
“Oh, no…no, of course. If I, ah, had been flirted with by The Tony Stark, I would have known it.” The coy restrained look was now most obviously holding back humour, as he nodded patronizingly.
“Don’t forget it.” Anthony’s attempt at cockiness was somewhat compromised by the scrubs he was wearing, and a pink tint to his cheeks.
Of course, if they accepted that there had never been any sexual tension between them, the alternative was to believe that the sight of Bruce half-naked and strapped down was enough to instantly induce his friend into changing his sexuality. Additionally, it meant that having Anthony tickle him while in such a vulnerable position had about the same effect. They both realized that was a little ridiculous, if somewhat true, in context. They were both relatively convinced at this point that these feelings were not entirely new, just newly acknowledged.
Bruce closed the door behind him. He really was not certain how he would normally fit into a relationship with another man, what roll he would fill; but right now, with Anthony, he felt compelled to take the lead, even if it was just to make sure Anthony knew that his attention was wanted. He did not expect that this meant his friend would cooperate, nor that Anthony would take on a less dominant role to allow for him. Indeed, he was surprised as it was that Anthony was taking so much direction from him. He seemed to be waiting for something, even now, asking -by not doing anything himself- how Bruce wanted to do things.
He stepped forward, again taking him by the hips. The reactor’s light was hardly being compromised at all by the shirt, and because of the light, he could see everything around it through the thin material. He was reminded, again, that Anthony had no chest hair. He assumed that he might have had, before the reactor was installed. Indeed, he thought he recalled some amount of hair being there, but now if there was any hair still inclined to grow around the scar tissue, it must have been waxed off. It was a relief, really, because he thought it would look a bit odd otherwise. He ran his hands up under his shirt to take the loose blue cotton off him. He could still see the shiny residue from earlier, even plastering the thin line of hair under his belly button this way and that. He ran his thumb along one hipbone, exposed over the top of the equally thin cotton pants.
Bruce had learnt, over the years, that letting himself be a bit aggressive, when he felt the impulse, was a lot like a release valve. It let people know that he was serious, and it helped keep him calm. Of course, this normally came across as passive aggression, since overt aggression still was not something he was comfortable with. He and intimacy, on the other hand, had somewhat pointedly remained strangers, or at least strangers who only occasionally slept together; and so he was somewhat at a loss as to what level of sexual aggression suited him. Primarily he was judging things by Anthony’s reactions. Anthony seemed to take comfort in his more assertive gestures, to the point where he would consider a downright dominating gesture or two, just to see where that would lead. He wanted him to feel needed. Anthony had spent years telling him he deserved to have a loving intimate relationship. He had always felt compelled to throw the same argument back at him. It had always seemed a little too suggestive to flat out tell him he aught to feel loved and wanted, even trying to make him feel that way as a friend had its limits, but now he had every intention of forcing the issue.
Anthony was trying hard not to form expectations. He had no idea how Bruce would react to him teasing him in the lab, despite some abstract implications when discussing the test. He had no idea what would happen when he came to himself again, how he would feel about any of it. The chemistry they were testing was minute amounts, and contact with him had provoked a stronger reaction anyways, so he was relatively certain Bruce was not going to be upset about what had happened, he just did not know if his interest would remain, or whether or not he would panic or leave for any other assorted reason.
He also had no idea what Bruce would be like in an intimate capacity. He had known him as a close friend for long enough that he was fairly certain they could be compatible, but there was only so much he could guess at. As restrained as his friend normally was, it was hard to guess whether that would transfer over to his behaviour now, or if he would be decidedly opposite. Either way, Anthony did not like to form expectations, for better or worse, they tended to be disappointed, and he wanted to appreciate whatever did happen for what it was; whatever that was.
So far, he liked the firm hands, and Bruce’s developing tendency to immediately let him know what he wanted, or if something was not quite right. It was actually the most healthily assertive he had ever seen him behave. It did not quite strike him as dominating, and he did not think he would care either way. He had always felt a deep connection to his fellow scientist and was finally experiencing that deep running companionship in a very satisfying, physical way. He had needed that, more than anything, even if Bruce was never in love with him, he cared about him and was at least willing to entertain the notion of something more than friendship. First, he was the one who lead Bruce into things, and now his friend was quite firmly leading him.
Bruce ran his hands around Anthony’s waist, then up and down his back -pulling him closer- before trailing his fingers along his spine and across the nerves over the back of his hipbone. Bruce knew Anthony was going to kiss him, before he moved to, because -although his head had been resting on his shoulder- his hands had already found his hair again.
Bruce was actually surprised his hair still grew in thick and strong. He had expected that spending his life as a walking source of low-level gamma radiation would affect his hair growth, and yet -like everything else about him- it, if anything, remained as robust seeming as ever. He had, in his youth, been too slim and young looking to be taken entirely seriously as a man, even with a PHD after his name. However, as time wore on -possibly as a side-effect of the radiation, or the martial arts training he had taken up to try to manage his own stress responses- he had filled out enough that he now looked distinctly masculine. He was not as tightly muscled as Anthony was, but he was not out of shape either. He would have been concerned about the low levels of radiation he gave off here and there. However, any test results showed that it was not -currently- strong enough to affect healthy cells, rather that it would only damage already severely compromised cells, and in that could be seen as having an almost beneficial effect, especially considering it was not even strong enough to affect fast growing cells -like hair- unlike radiation treatment would. He never really considered being near himself as particularly healthy for anyone, but at least he did not have to be paranoid about being a cancer risk for anyone he did get close to. It also helped to explain his own lack of aging, and incredibly stubborn good health. It was like a strongly enforced survival scenario raging inside every part of him. Weak or decaying cells died out and healthier, less worn, cells took their place. He also had an abnormal level of stem cells floating around, in part responsible for how fast he healed; and so it could almost be seen as a sort of advancing evolution within his own body.
The lips that met his were hot and demanding. Bruce thought this must mean he was doing something right. He recalled the nerves on his own back being rather sensitive, but had not had much occasion to test how much this varied between different people. Wanting access to the nerves lower on his back, he began to nudge the fabric downwards, before finally just slipping them off his hips. He walked forward slowly, giving Anthony a chance to step out of the pile of cotton, moving him towards the shower so he could start the water. He was getting a bit cold, and the point of this was to get clean, eventually at least. He was not certain he wanted to risk doing anything too exciting without being attached to monitoring equipment just yet, but that did not mean he could not indulge in watching Anthony enjoy himself.
Anthony carefully stepped backwards into the shower once he received a nudge letting him know the water was safe. He had always loved hot showers and relaxed the moment the water hit him. He tried to pull Bruce in after him, but his friend stopped him, pulling away and chuckling. He pulled back and looked at him, to find him wearing an expression that looked mildly sheepish, but highly amused. Bruce was of course still wearing the scrubs that they had worn back from the lab, though now the top half of the shirt was wet and sticking to him. His hair was still mostly dry, but bits of water flattened it some and sprung off the ends of a few curls. He would have felt a little bit abashed for himself, but Bruce seemed to have that covered, and it was not in him, really. He crossed his arms and waited. He watched his friend roll his eyes a little and oblige him by taking off his shirt and stepping into the shower once his pants were kicked aside.
Anthony seemed to be waiting, again, looking a little giggle worthy with his hair flattened down from the water, one hip shifted impatiently, and a sticky smudge still marring his treasure trail. Bruce tried, for his benefit, not to laugh any more. He never thought of Anthony as the submissive type, he always seemed to take the lead or meet him halfway, but now he seemed to be waiting for him. He hoped this was Anthony wanting to let him take things at his own pace, rather than because of some insecurity about whether or not he was wanted. He stepped up to him and held his hips again, before moving one thumb to smooth down the hair on his stomach, and rub away the re-hydrating residue, trying to hold back an amused smile.
“That’s enough out of you, Jolly green.” said Anthony, bringing his hands up to his friend’s chest.
Anthony brought his hands down further, smoothing them down over his abdomen. Bruce’s stomach had more hair than Anthony’s did, as did his chest, and his hips were not as narrow. He did not find himself put off by these traits, not by any means. His friend looked healthy and fit, and still too amused for his liking. He gave him a flat look as he got more soap than was strictly needed from the dispenser on the wall. He pushed Bruce out from under the water and smeared the soap on his ribs from one side to the other.
“Post coital giggles?" he asked him, faking an unimpressed look and beginning to massage the soap around.
Another sheepish, but amused look told him he was not going to get anywhere by acting annoyed. He was pulled forward out of the water, so that Bruce could share the excess amount of soap, practically scooping it off himself and wiping it down Anthony’s stomach. Anthony lost track of where he had not washed yet, more and more, as Bruce’s hands massaged across his torso. He had just brought his hands down to rub soap into the hair above the other’s manhood, intending to force the smile off of his face by more creative means, when his hands were pulled away. He could guess why Bruce was not willing to risk getting too excited outside of a lab just yet, but he was surprised again by the emphatic gesture.
Bruce was not sure if he was pushing things, but he took his hands and turned him so his back was to the side of the shower. He pressed his hands lightly against the wall to indicate that Anthony was to keep them to himself for the time, but Anthony did not seem to mind at all. Indeed, he shot him a heavy lidded look and closed his eyes when he moved his hands back over his chest and stomach. He had broad shoulders; otherwise, he might have seemed too slim of frame for a man. As it was though, he had a lean angular shape, his upper body was not as exaggerated as Steve’s, for example, he did not seem over-built, rather he just had a few very strong masculine features that kept his prettier one’s from making him seem effeminate. It was a pleasing balance.
Hot showers were Anthony’s favourite way to end or begin any day, too add to this he had the playful companionship of his best friend, and the soothing, massaging hands running all over him. It did not take long before he was breathing heavily and getting impatient for the hands to move on to other parts of him. When they finally did move on, it was to his arms, one after the other. The move to his back was pleasing, though still not exactly what he wanted. He happily wrapped his arms around Bruce’s neck, when he stepped forward enough to kiss him, their bodies making light contact. Anthony arched off the wall, into him, when hands ran over his backside. After nails grazed lightly over those muscles, hands came to the front of his hips and pushed him back towards the wall.
Bruce was trying not to become too worked up, and Anthony was not helping. He held him back and sank to his knees to start washing his ankles, moving up his legs, one after the other. One of Anthony’s hands was still in his hair, the other gripping his shoulder. Bruce came to realize that Anthony’s body hair was all fairly light. Certainly he had hair anywhere a man should, with his chest as the exception, he just did not have very much of it. He liked that this left a lot of his skin feeling smooth to run his hands over. When he got to the top of his legs, he washed him briefly before he stood again. Anthony watched him with heavy lidded eyes, which closed slowly as he kissed him again.
Anthony had been getting mildly uncomfortable with his erection being left exposed to the cool air outside the stream of water, but when a warm hand finally came up to meet him, he decided it was plenty worth the wait. He hummed contentedly. He tried to bring his hand up to return the favour, but the moment he moved past the front of his hip, his hand was firmly pressed back to the wall of the shower, so he wound it into Bruce‘s hair instead. He did not mind so much, if Bruce wanted to focus on him at the moment, he was content to concentrate on enjoying it, thoroughly.
Bruce let himself be at least mildly amused at seeing his friend in this context. Certainly, it was incredibly arousing, but it also entertained him that Anthony’s behaviour was not what he thought most people would expect, besides that, he did not want to get too excited. He was content for the moment; just feeling him squirm, tug at him, tasting his mouth and the bits of water that manage to trickle between them. He enjoyed finally having this simple intimacy. It was especially endearing to him when Anthony broke away from the kiss, held him tightly and made satisfied humming sounds against his chest. The fact that he was so eagerly trying to reciprocate quelled any insecurity Bruce could have had about someone, once again, just trying to get something out of him.
Anthony relaxed and concentrated on the feel of firm hands, one still holding his hip against the wall, while the other dragged contented sounds out of him. He felt Bruce’s rough chin against the side of his neck as his shoulder was kissed, and wondered why he had not considered this before. He liked the contrast of smooth and rough; smooth skin and soothing strokes, rough stubble and demonstrative treatment. He liked the large warm hands and the strength. He was very much enjoying being handled the way he was, so it seemed odd to him that he had never thought of men as attractive. On the other hand, he could not think of any other man who he would want in this context. He wondered vaguely how Bruce felt about the feel of his goatee. The way he was being kissed was demanding and possessive, and he was more than happy about it. So maybe it had started as a romance of personality, and maybe it made the entire difference that it was Bruce, and maybe he would be the only man he would ever be interested in. He did not think it mattered much either way. He was just happy that it had happened, whatever the mechanism.
“And what exactly has you looking so thoughtful, now of all times?” Bruce spoke quietly against his cheek, with an extra slow firm stroke.
“Nothing.” Anthony answered happily, preceding it with another contented hum.
Anthony kissed him and went back to concentrating on the sensations he was experiencing. He did not want to make it too much of a task to bring him to completion. It would feel good, he did not think he could get enough of the hands on him right now, but it would not be particularly considerate of him, and he did not want Bruce to think it required great effort from him. His own facial hair protected him from most of the rough stubble when kissing, but he could still feel the coarseness here and there against his lips. He trailed his lips between soft lips and the roughness under them, and bit his lip when Bruce tried to kiss him more firmly.
“Enjoying yourself?” Bruce asked, his voice rough, before licking his lip where he had been bitten.
Anthony made a sound of agreement and kissed him more, trying to press forward and upward against him and into his hand. Bruce shifted in against him, to keep him from arching forward, pinning him with his own hip to the wall. Anthony could feel the smooth skin on his friend’s side brush against his tip now and then, but he was not being allowed to press forward.
Bruce smiled to himself as Anthony stood on his toes and hugged him to his chest, his forehead pressing just to the left of the reactor. Anthony seemed to be trying to climb the wall, in some attempt to get more contact from him. His left knee was even lifting some and brushing against the outside of his leg. Bruce felt him shake slightly before his heavy breathing progressed through gasping, and into a restrained moaning sound. The fluid spilled on his stomach did not feel hot compared to the water, but it was warm enough to bring it to his attention that the water was getting cooler. He reached over and adjusted the tap, to make it hot again, without pulling away.
Anthony sighed indulgently at the unexpected warmth. He put his heels back firmly on the shower floor and straightened his knee, clearing his throat. Though he was now softening again, he felt one last gentle squeeze before Bruce let go. Suddenly he realized how tired he was. They had been up all night already, and after two orgasms he was ready to fall out of the shower and into his bed, but he did not think that would be very fair.
Bruce felt Anthony’s fingers trace lightly up him, as he tried again to reciprocate, and immediately took his hand away. He held his wrist to his lips that time, and kissed him there.
“Stop that." he said, contentment mixing with amusement and mild frustration.
Anthony did not respond to this with any measure of cooperation this time, instead boldly stepping forward and pressing his whole body against him. Bruce held him back by the hips, making a light sound of pure frustration.
“Tony, not right now.” He could not deny being aroused enough, even if he wanted to, he just did not want to take any risks.
“Alright, but it’s bad for your prostate health… and don’t blame me if you get a cramp." he said, faking nonchalance and shrugging.
“I’d feel safer with a monitoring system.” Bruce said.
He kissed Anthony on the forehead. It was easier this time, as Anthony was relaxed, leaning between him and the shower wall.
“I can do that.” Anthony said brightly.
The response was immediate enough to be endearing. Certainly, Anthony wanted to keep causing him pleasure, but he did not want to push his limits, too far at least, or make him too uncomfortable. He smiled and kissed him again. Anthony sighed heavily when he pulled back.
I guess for tonight I’ll have to break out the ice-cream… or, you know, we could just go back down to the lab and…” Anthony made some gesture with his eyes indicting what he wanted.
Bruce did not answer right away. He gave him a mildly amused, incredulous look instead. They had, of course, just got back from the lab, and just cleaned up after the last time.
“I didn’t think you’d be this hard to… satisfy.” Bruce gave him another of his looks that betrayed his inner struggle between amusement and shyness.
“It’s not my satisfaction I’m worried about, Jekyll. I wouldn‘t want to leave you frustrated.” Anthony said, tone returning to his normal teasing as he stroked fingers up the side of Bruce’s hip.
Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes. He could not deny being in an aroused state, at this point, but he was still reluctant to take any more risks for the day. In addition, he thought it might be better for Anthony, if they spent some time exploring this newfound dimension to their relationship, without it being entirely about sex. He did not want his friend to think that this was all happening out of some desperation for physical contact; He did not want to think that it was.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine." he said, his expression speaking volumes about how silly it was to think otherwise, after he had gone years at a time being left unsatisfied.
He watched Anthony’s eyes flicker across his, obviously trying to figure out where he should try to go with things next. He held him closer and kissed his forehead again.
“We have been up all night; maybe we should consider sleeping soon.” said Bruce, trying to imply that they should do it together, like everything else that night.
Anthony could not tell whether he meant that to suggest he wanted to stay close to him, or to infer that he wanted to take a step back now. He knew it was a little ridiculous to want to avoid going to bed, but this was all so new that he feared he might be dreaming it; and if they went to be things might be different when they woke up.
Bruce did not miss the uncertainty. He tried to think of a way to make his intentions more clear, without betraying how obvious Anthony was to him at the moment. He did not think that Anthony appreciated the thought that his own feelings might need to be tiptoed around, or that anyone thought they did, any more than Bruce himself did.
“You don’t mind sharing your bed do you?" he asked, after thinking of nothing better.
He did not think this would last long. Once morning came, if Bruce still maintained that this was what he wanted, then he was certain Anthony would go back to his usual supremely confident self. In the meantime though, Bruce was able to see just how much his friend’s needs and fears affected him. He was also being given this rare window of vulnerability to meet those needs and assuage those fears, to show Anthony -in turn- that he too could have love and intimacy in his life, if he let it happen. He hoped the reassurance, when he needed it the most, would go some ways towards permanently affecting his friend’s view of his life and his value as a lover. He did not like to think of Anthony feeling so alone and without love, as the man tended to. Some subtle exchange of body language passed between them when Anthony met his eyes.
“No.” Anthony shrugged, putting his arms over Bruce’s shoulders.
The shower was warm and comfortable. It was even nicer having someone there, skin being held against his, along his entire body. He had not realized quite how anxious he was feeling, until Bruce clarifying his intentions made him feel better. He had been putting off getting out of the shower, not being certain how things would progress afterwards, but now he had a whole morning of company and well-needed rest to look forward to. It was not exactly comfortable to him, knowing he was being sensitive, and why, but not being able to help it. He felt a bit silly, really, having been the one who got them into this in the first place, and with Bruce being so carefully reassuring. He pulled away long enough to get more soap and go back to washing his friend.
Bruce tried not to roll his eyes. He was not sure if this was Anthony trying to make him more frustrated, trying to get away with something, or just genuinely finding new motivation to get them both clean and dried off. He relaxed and tried to focus on the simple enjoyment of it, rather than letting the roaming hands get him even more worked up. When Anthony finished with his back, he wrapped his arms around his waist.
“Are we about finished in here?” His voice spoke softly near his ear.
“Yeah.” Bruce smiled and tried idly to look towards him.
Anthony turned off the water. He reached out of the shower to retrieve towels for both of them and they dried themselves off. They stood a moment later with white towels wrapped at their hips; Anthony’s looser and lower on his hips and Bruce’s securely above his hipbones.
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