One More Kiss For The Road

Heya so sorry it’s taken so long to update but my house got robbed and the bloody bastards took my laptop. I’ve lost a lot of the work i had done but hadn’t posted yet mostly on three’s company so i’d just like to let everyone who was following that story know that i’m really sorry but it may be a while before i get my act together and re-write what i’ve lost. Don’t fret though my pets because i promise that all my stories will be updated and continued i refuse to let those tossers that took my stuff win and spoil something i enjoy doing so much. I’m an Eastwood and Eastwood’s never know when to bloody give up! So if you’ll just have some patience with me i will be back with updates three’s company and my other works will continue i swear it!

Ok now i’ve finished with my rant i hope you all enjoy the new chapter beware angst alert!

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Chapter 11

Pietro cracked one red swollen eye open, blearily looking at a shaft of pale morning light. His whole body ached and something deep down inside felt like it was missing and he suddenly remembered why! He and Kurt had broken up, apparently for the best.

It didn’t feel like the best. He felt like he was dying as he woke up, a fresh wave of pain hitting him. He groaned and burrowed back under the covers. He was so tired still.

He looked over at the clock. He would usually be up and about already. His view of the clock blurred as fresh tears stung his eyes. The pain was every bit as real and strong as it had been last night as a heavy shroud of desolation wrapped around him. How was he going to find the strength to do this? To just carry on like everything was normal, as if he and Kurt never happened, as if he’d never fallen in love?

The hole where his heart used to be flared in pain as he thought about how he would see Kurt at school but wouldn’t be able to talk to him or do any of the other things they usually did. He knew he should be getting out of bed now. He could hear the other boys moving about but he didn’t feel capable of movement. His limbs felt like they weighted a ton. He heard Lance shouting that everyone who wanted a lift had 5 minutes.

Pietro sluggishly forced his body to move, walking to the bathroom like a zombie. He brushed his teeth and splashed cold water onto his face. He gazed at his own face as if it was a stranger’s. His eyes were red and swollen. His already pale complexion was almost chalk white and he had deep dark hollows under his eyes. He looked awful. His hair was dull and lank looking. The bangs that he was always so careful to gel back perfectly into place were falling limply into his eyes, the long strands ending just above his jaw brushing his cheeks.

Pietro turned around as he heard Lance shouting a two minute warning. He decided to leave his hair. What did it matter? What did anything matter anymore?

He shuffled into his room and pulled on whatever clothes were at hand before gathering his books and making his way downstairs. He knew that for someone who usually took so much pride in his appearance he looked a wreck. His clothes were rumpled from being on the floor, his hair was a mess. He looked like crap but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. He hurt too much to give a rat’s ass about something as meaningless as his looks right now. He noticed the other boys’ surprised gazes on him as he got into the car.

“Yo, dawg, you look like shit!” Toad squeaked without thinking.

“Thanks.” Pietro croaked hoarsely, the effort of adding the appropriate amount of sarcasm not worth it.

“Yo, sorry dawg. I didn’t mean it like that. Are you sick or something? You look really ill. Maybe you shouldn’t be going to school.” Toad offered placatingly.

“I’ll be fine, thanks anyway.” Pietro croaked emotionlessly, not even looking in Toads direction. Toad gave him a concerned look before glancing at Lance, who just shrugged his shoulders, turning to start the car. Luckily, the other boys wisely chose not to bother Pietro for the rest of the journey into school.

Kurt began to come awake to an extreme sense of dread. Something awful had happened. What was it? His body was hit by an intense wave of pain as his memories of the day before came flooding back.

An agonised gasp escaped his throat. Mein gott, he had been wrong. The pain hadn’t gotten better with the new day. It was worse. He felt his eyes spill over with a fresh bout of tears, washing the sleep from his eyes in a stinging salty wave.

His enhanced senses could hear the other kids of the Institute, everybody already up and raring to start a new day. Their happy laughter and talking made them feel a world away from the endless depths of Kurt’s misery. He found himself hating them for being so happy while he was caught in a prison of despair.

He immediately felt ashamed of himself. It wasn’t their faults he was hurting. He had chosen this. He was the one who had chosen to suffer this pain rather than risk being caught. In his entire life he had never hated himself more than he did right now because of that one decision.

He roughly scrubbed his face with his blanket. He didn’t deserve tears. His body stiffened as he heard the door to his room being flung open and Rogue strolled in happily.

“Hey Kurt ah thought ah’d make sure yah got up. Ah figured yah could use some help pickin’ an outfit for today...Oh mah gawd! Kurt, are yah ok? Yah look awful. Are yah sick?” Rogue questioned, suddenly concerned, coming to sit by Kurt on the bed. Kurt forced a watery smile onto his face, not wanting Rogue to know how upset he was.

“I’m fine. I’m probably just coming down with somezhing. I’ll be ok. Danke for caring.” Kurt said huskily, his voice raw from his pain and tears. Rogue reached up and laid her palm across Kurt’s forehead.

“Yah don’t feel warm but yah look real sick. Do yah want me to tell tha Professor that yah can’t go to school today?” Rogue offered, looking him over, worried for her friend. Kurt was one of the few people here that she really genuinely liked. Kurt shook his head.

“Nein, zhat’s ok. I’ll be fine, danke.” Kurt said regretfully. He had been tempted by the offer. He wanted nothing more than to crawl up back under the covers and be alone in his misery but he knew he had to keep moving. He needed something to distract himself from the pain, besides, he was going to have to see Pietro eventually and putting it off wasn’t going to make things better. Rogue still looked concerned.

“Ok, if yah’re sure. Why don’t yah go shower? Tha bathroom should be free now. Ah’ll pick yah out somethin’ tah wear. Ah can’t believe yah wore yesterday’s clothes tah bed. Ah’ll see yah down at breakfast ok?” Rogue said, giving him a comforting hug before standing up and walking to his closet. Kurt forced himself off the bed and walked towards the door.

“Danke, Rogue. I’ll see you in a vhile.” Kurt said gratefully before heading to the bathroom. Once there, he shrugged off the rumpled clothing. He had been too upset last night to even think about changing and had just fallen asleep in what he wore. He looked at himself in the mirror. He did look awful, the bags under his eyes so heavy that they could be seen through the fur. His usually sparkling gold eyes were red and bloodshot. His usually shiny fur was dull and lifeless.

He turned away from his dour reflection and got into the shower, letting the hot spray wash over his face. He thought about how he would no longer have to shower constantly to avoid Pietro’s smell on him and a fresh burst of tears sprang out his eyes to mingle with the showers spray and down the drain as he sobbed, falling to his knees. He stayed there so long the water ran cold.

He eventually pulled himself up and got out of the shower, shivering. He roughly rubbed his fur dry and proceeded to do all his other grooming rituals, like an automaton, too busy trying to gear himself up to facing the others and acting like his heart hadn’t just last night been smashed into a thousand pieces. Gott im hiemle (god in heaven), he wasn’t sure if he could do it. He found himself praying for the strength to just get through this day, something he didn’t do much of anymore.

He made his way back to his room and pulled on the clothes Rogue had chosen, a pair of tight black jeans with a heavy studded black leather belt, a tight long sleeved maroon muscle t-shirt with a simple tight black short sleeved t-shirt with an silver skull on it over the top. He replaced his heavy jewellery and switched on his hologram and examined himself.

The hologram didn’t show the redness of his eyes or the bags under them or his dull fur. He looked completely normal, the only indication of his pain the flat lifeless look in his eyes, making him look like a corpse. He shivered at the emptiness he saw in his own eyes before switching the hologram off and taking a deep breath. This was it. It was time to face the others. He sighed, a low pain filled sound, before porting downstairs.

The dining room was full of chattering kids fighting over the food on the table. He saw Rogue waving at him and he walked over to where Rogue was sitting, taking the empty seat between her and Kitty, who looked him over with friendly concern.

“Like, woah, Kurt, are you sure you should be going into school? Rogue told us how you were sick and you do like look kinda bad.” Kitty announced, fussing over him. Kurt tried to put a bright smile on his face but only managed to upturn the corners of his mouth slightly.

“I’m fine, katzchen. Don’t vorry about me.” Kurt said hoarsely, his throat still feeling raw, ducking his head so Kitty wouldn’t see the pain in his eyes. He looked up as a plate of food was pushed in front of him and he saw Rogue giving him a sympathetic smile.

“Here, yah had better eat up. Scott will want tah leave in a few minutes and yah should keep yah’re strength up.” she said as she pushed the plate in front of Kurt.

“Danke.” Kurt mumbled, trying to give Rogue a grateful smile before picking up his fork and scooping a bite into his mouth. It made him feel nauseous. He forced himself to swallow the morsel to appease Rogue. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t hungry. The food sickened him as he mournfully pushed the food around his plate. He managed to choke down a few more bites before getting up to leave, not wanting to worry the others with his lack of appetite, something he knew would concern them far more than how he looked, what with him being famous for polishing off every bit of food he could get his hands on and then some.

Kurt noticed the concerned looks Kitty and Rogue kept giving him as they walked out to meet Scott for a ride to school. He knew they meant well but it was starting to annoy him. He just wanted them to leave him alone with his pain and misery. He grit his teeth irritably as he sank into the backseat of Scott's car. Scott was moaning because Duncan had come by a bit earlier and given Jean a ride to school.

Kurt saw Evan run up and hop into the backseat, on the other side of Kitty, who was in the middle. Kurt felt a roll of anger and pain run through him at the sight of his supposed friend. He was still hurting from all Evan’s words the day before, something that was actually minor now compared to the pain he was feeling at the loss of Pietro.

Kurt found himself hating Evan and, unlike he had with the others, he didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty. Evan was the reason he was so scared of being found out as gay. Evan’s homophobic bigotry was the reason Kurt had been so terrified and ashamed that he had broken up with Pietro! The agony he was feeling now was his own fault for giving into his fear but Evan was the one who had caused so much of that fear, unknowing or not, and Kurt despised him. Kurt tried to keep the hate out of his eyes as Evan smiled widely at him.

“Hey man, I heard you were sick. You don’t think you caught something off that fudge packer yesterday? He might have infected you with some freaky gay disease or something.” Evan said scornfully. Kurt’s eyes widened in shock. Was Evan really that stupid and prejudiced? He looked at Evan’s open cheerful face. Obviously he was. Kurt felt a white hot burst of fury run through him and couldn’t stop the angry words from spilling out of his mouth.

“All he did vas touch me. Are you zhat fucking retarded? Gott, Evan, you can be such a schweinhund (translation: pigdog, on of the worst german insults posible)” Kurt seethed. He saw Scott and Rogue spin round, eyes wide with shock at such language from their usually softly spoken friend. He heard Kitty's gasp and saw Evan’s surprised face. He was lucky that Kitty was sitting between the two of them or he might have just lunged at Evan in his anger. Kurt stared down at his feet. Shit, he’d let his emotions get the best of him. What if the others suspected why he had gotten so angry?

“Woah, sorry bro, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Evan said placatingly. Kurt didn’t even look up to acknowledge him, just continuing to stare down at his feet, mortified by his outburst.

“I hope Kurt gets over his illness soon. I never knew he was so bad tempered when he was sick.” Kurt heard Evan whisper in Kitty’s ear, obviously not realizing the real reason behind Kurt’s distress. Kurt almost found it funny how blind Evan could be but he was grateful for the other boy’s obtuseness. He could feel Kitty inching across the seat away from him as she nodded, agreeing, he felt like crying but he forcibly stopped the tears from forming as the entire ride to school was intersped with looks of slight fear from Kitty.

Pietro was miserable. It was nearly lunchtime and he had caught a brief glimpse of Kurt between classes. He’d hidden himself behind some lockers, avoiding letting Kurt see him as he resisted the urge to throw himself at the other boy, begging Kurt to take him back. His heart had felt as if it was being sent through a mincer. Kurt looked so good, the hologram hiding any effects that might have been there from their breakup, the only clue to his distress being the vacant desolate look in his eyes, his face unmoving and solemn as his friends had laughed and joked around him.

Pietro had struggled to breath as he watched Kurt from his hiding place, the pain eating him up inside as he told himself repeatedly that he had done the right thing, Kurt would get over him and he would be happy without the danger that being with Pietro brought him, as if by saying it enough times would convince him it was true. He’d felt tears mist his eyes as he’d gazed longingly at Kurt. He’d looked amazing as always, the gothic style clothing perfectly accentuating his dark sultry looks. Pietro had been pained as he thought about what a mess he was in comparison. If Kurt had seen him then he’d have probably been wondering what he’d ever been doing with him in the first place. He’d felt his heart breaking all over again as he’d turned away and walked towards class, where he now sat unenthusiastically waiting for the bell to ring.

He felt the tears threatening to fill his eyes as he thought about all the times he’d sat in wild anticipation of the lunchtime bell so he could go and meet Kurt in some secluded spot to enjoy each other’s company and more of those knee shaking kisses and the occasional orgasm when they had teased and worked each other too much to leave it at just a kiss. Pietro suddenly couldn’t stand the idea of sitting with the rest of the Brotherhood at lunch, seeing Kurt across the cafeteria and trying to hide the pain he was in, pretending to be chipper so the others wouldn’t realise there was something wrong.

Pietro heard the bell and gathered his things. He was going to have to find one of the others and tell them he had a project or something, then he was going to find a nice quiet private little spot and he was going to bawl his heart out. He hated that he felt this way, that every little thing brought him to tears like some sissy little girl, but he couldn’t help it. The pain was just more than he could bare and as each minute went by he could feel himself sinking further and further into the depths of depression, a dank pain filled cavern that he feared he may never be able to claw his way out of.

“Oh mah gawd, is that Pietro? He looks awful. Do yah think he caught tha same thin’ Kurt’s got?” Rogue asked Kitty as she, Kitty, and Kurt walked down the hall towards the cafeteria. Kurt’s head snapped up at the mention of Pietro. His heart wrenched painfully as he got his first look all day at the other boy. Pietro looked like a mess; it was heartbreaking to see in someone who was usually so vain about his appearance. His clothes were rumpled and creased. His face was even paler than ever, the slight olive tan having disappeared completely, his white hair messy and limp, not gelled back in his usual neat style, deep purple marks under his eyes. He looked like a ghost but despite all this he was still achingly beautiful.

Kurt’s whole body begged him to walk over there and scoop Pietro into his arms. He hurt even more seeing the state Pietro was in, a sign of the other boy’s pain, knowing he was partly responsible for it. He watched Pietro share a few quick words with Lance before disappearing in a blur. He felt his heart crack even more.

He felt sick with his grief as he followed the girls into the cafeteria lifelessly. He didn’t even notice as Rogue manoeuvred him into the lunch queue, handing him a tray and filling it with food, jabbering on about how he needed his sustenance as he’d hardly touched his breakfast. He didn’t even see the tray in his hands until Rogue had led him to the X-Men’s table pulling him to sit beside her.

He placed the tray on the table, staring at it blankly. He looked at the food on his tray. He didn’t want it. He felt sick. He felt weak and lifeless. He knew his body needed the food, his high metabolism probably rebelling at the absence of nutrients, but he just couldn’t bring himself to eat any of it. He felt Rogue nudging him, encouraging him to start eating.

He picked up an apple, biting into it chewing mechanically. It tasted like cardboard. He kept chewing, much longer than was necessary, before forcing himself to swallow his mouthful. A wave of nausea hit him. His throat hurt as he swallowed. He placed the apple back down on the table, unable to stand the thought of another bite. He listened to the others concern as he sat there, staring unblinking at his uneaten food. After a few minutes Kurt stood up.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not hungry. I’ll get something later, when mein stomach settles, I promise. I need to go. I have some work to do.” Kurt said in a monotone, not waiting for his friends to respond as he turned and walked out of the cafeteria, needing to be alone with his pain.

He let his powers out, searching the school for a private spot. He saw the figure of Pietro down in Forge’s old lab. He ached to go to him but he knew he couldn’t. He looked for somewhere else to go, in the end settling for the schools basement, where he sought out a dark corner and sank to the floor, drawing his legs up tight into his body, resting his forehead against his knees and wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he trembled and quaked, letting the tears fall, waiting for the bell forcing him back to class.

The two boys went through the whole school week in this manner, every night telling themselves the pain would be better tomorrow, only to be proved wrong as each new morning only brought even more pain. Kurt’s friends were beside themselves with worry as Kurt only seemed to get sicker each day. When Kurt hadn’t appeared to get better after the first day, Beast had given him a thorough examination. Kurt hadn’t been the least bit surprised when Beast had been unable to find anything physically wrong with him other than a bit of malnutrition. He knew he wasn’t sick unless you counted heartsick.

He’d known he’d been worrying his friends. He barely ate. He was weak and shaken, opting out of all the danger room sessions and avoiding everyone. He was irritable and snappish, his attitude becoming more vicious by the day. He’d had several fights with Evan. Thankfully nobody had been able to figure out the true source of Kurt’s anger. He’d even snapped at Kitty, throwing a spiel of insults at her in German when she had been trying to force him to eat when all he wanted was to be left alone to rot, something that had sent her running from him in tears.

Pietro, on the other hand, was disappearing inside himself becoming more and more of a ghost as each day passed, raising concern with the other members of his team as he drifted through the days, not caring about anything, his friends, his school work, his appearance nothing mattered. He stopped speaking and spent all his time in his room where he could weep in peace and loose himself to the depression swallowing him whole.

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Sorry sorry please don’t kill me they will get back together soon i promise.

Don’t forget to review if you liked it.