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December 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Remy and Betsy that is a paring you don't see very often, so kudos for originality. And the shower setting is some thing I always like to see.
Exploring Betsy's new bodies and the differences and the sexuality of it is also a nice theme. But I think it led to there being a bit too much set up into short a time. Betsy basically harassing Remy in the showers is a bit... well if the gender roles were reversed it would definitely not be seen as good thing. Word choice is something I'd like to high light as needing a bit of work. Words like 'vagina' and especially 'bowels' don't sound sexy and slithering penis is also an odd mental image.
On the whole though this was a rather fun fic and its amazing how much eveyrone gets around in X-Men Supreme. ;)
Exploring Betsy's new bodies and the differences and the sexuality of it is also a nice theme. But I think it led to there being a bit too much set up into short a time. Betsy basically harassing Remy in the showers is a bit... well if the gender roles were reversed it would definitely not be seen as good thing. Word choice is something I'd like to high light as needing a bit of work. Words like 'vagina' and especially 'bowels' don't sound sexy and slithering penis is also an odd mental image.
On the whole though this was a rather fun fic and its amazing how much eveyrone gets around in X-Men Supreme. ;)