rate_review Reviews

OHHH! That is so rotten, not telling us who the new roommate is (though I think I know)! :)
Anyway, as usual, it's a good chapter and I'm looking forward to the next saga. I think Amanda should be her legal guardian if possible.
Looking forward to the next update.

*chuckles* I think I speak for a lot of readers when I say I completely feel Amanda's mixture of affection and infuriation with her parents and the hostage crisis of her cell phone... I adore how you've done her family, especially the working in of religion/faith - not an easy thing to usually do in fanfics but you're pulling it off nicely and with a healthy dose of levity. Can't wait to see what goes down in the next chapter, but please for the love of Twinkies tell me we're getting very close to this big party at which we all suppose Hank and Amanda will FINALLY clandetinely meet...

Ohmygodohmygod! This is too much! Cannot cope. Off to Mordor. No, seriously, these cliffhangers are killing me. Please update soon!

The characters internal musings give too much away. It takes away from the emotional tension and build up of the story. For instance, there isn’t really any need to say what Beast is thinking about Storm so specifically. The same can be applied to other character relationships. Subtlety would work better.

The erotic side notes also seemed rather out of place. He doesn’t seem the type to give voice to such thoughts in a casual way. Granted, he didn’t voice it. You voiced it as an omniscient narrator, but I think the result is similar. It stands to cheapen future erotic moments. Personally, I would hold off on those sorts of playful, semi-erotic inserts until he is involved in a more committed relationship.

If you find yourself needing to explain things a character shouldn’t directly say, I would suggest using what you have already established. You have gossipy teenage girls for casual information. You also have possibilities for more in depth analysis. You have Rogue. I personally think Rogue has been through enough to have some maturity beyond her years. She is also, by force of her mutation, a consuming people watcher. She would make an excellent translator. It seems entirely likely that she could explain the dynamics between Beast, Storm and Nightcrawler. Having her do it would help maintain tension. She would also be a good confidant for Serena since Kitty flaked.

I didn’t really get why Kitty flaked like that. She never came across as that sort to me. Perhaps you could explain it more now that you are moving towards a relationship between Serena and Rogue.

I like the idea of Storm with Kurt. They had startlingly good chemistry in the second movie. I did not think she had any with Beast. They seemed more friendly than romantic but that could just be because I liked her with Nightcrawler. I also like the idea of Kurt showing a light playful side. It seems in character and he is endearing.

Great work again. :) I think it only makes the story more interesting when there are many different plotlines which eventually bind together. If I may say, your way of writing reminds me of Marian Keyes, dunno exactly why. Maybe it’s something about Amanda’s family. (In this point I might as well excuse if my reviews don’t somehow make sense, I’m not a native English speaker).

I am a fan of Bluelioness and she recommended this story. Beast is one of my favorite characters. Thanks for a great story. Now I get to look forward to another Beast!
Thanks and keep up the good work.

Oooh, finally a fic of our dear Hank! I've read only three chapters thus far, but I'm certainly gonna read them all. Please keep updating this!

Very nice, as usual :). Glad to see there's another reviewer now - knew it'd catch on at some point. Oh man but this was an emotional chapter... loved the churchie thing - been through the same thing with my grandparents - jeez, you quit going to church and they think you're a heathen *headdesk*. The Twinkie scene between Storm and Beast was perfection, I'm utterly jealous in the best of ways :D. Can't wait for the next chapter and damn but I hope Amanda and Hank meet soon...

i love this story so far and i love beast!!! more please

You're probably getting tired of me starting my reviews this way all the time, but: AWWWW.
Okay, now for actualy observation ;). I really, really like how you've set this story up plot wise where we get to see Amanda's life and Hank's life juxtaposed at the same time, and how you show them being connected via Serena even if THEY aren't aware of it just yet. It's just delightful even if it is MADDENING having to wait for the two to meet, but on the other hand you've done a very good job of building anticipation and keeping it going without ticking off readers or becoming repetitive.
I adore your portrayal of Hank, I really do. I think the X3 movie was a great opener for fic writers because they gave just enough of him to get a feel for his personality but left enough out that writers like us can take over and build on it; I am enjoying the occasional hintings of the past romance with Storm (especially in this chapter - oooh, what trouble in paradise DID make them break up???), which is shocking for me :P.
And as for Amanda, kudos on a heroine that is mature and strong, but also very fun and lovable - factors that make us WANT to see her with Hank. :D
Can't wait to read he next chapter, but I know how busy things can get (in the middle of one of THOSE periods myself...) - great job :)