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August 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Being completely blunt, I'm not entirely certain what you were intending to do with these two introductory chapters.
While the idea of Jubilee being from the future and trapped in her younger body is interesting, and would certainly be an intriguing story, I have no idea how chapter two (as posted) fits into that theme.
I'm not certain if you're writing a crossover story, if you're writing a story in one of the numerous 'future 'verses' of the comics, or what you're actually intending.
You have an idea here. At this stage, though, it is an underdeveloped idea.