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Reviews for Birthday Surprise

By : Ingsoc

From ANON - Anon on January 06, 2007
do you not understand English?
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From ANON - MDR on April 11, 2006
You have more than a few errors with grammer and sentence structure, I'm afraid. for example, you use the word 'sweat' when I think you mean 'sweet', 'leaking' instead of 'licking', etc. I would suggest finding a proofreader somewhere, or at least vgoing back and rereading what you wrote very carefully. The general idea behind the story is very good, and you should go with it, but the use of the wrong words made it hard to follow sometimes.
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