Chapter 16 - (sorry realised AFF doesn't attach chapter nos by default to reviews that i can see)

Very nice and heartwarming one. The contrast between her family life and being back with Jean is very well told. I especially like the touch of her unwinding and joking with Jean and then being rather embarassed about it.

The references to the other X-Men in photos were cool and of course the irony about her commenting on Scott.

Nice end with her begining to twig she's feeling more-than-friendly towards Jean. 

Oh I seem to be behind on this, apologies.

This was an interesting chapter. the internal dynamics of the Frost family are intriquingly nasty. I did not realise that Christian's absence was such a mystery to all rather than it being an open secret to all he's been kicked out.

I was also intriqued by Shaw and Emma's reaction to him. When in his prescence she was entirely wary of him but later seem more interested, at least in the chess side of it, and of course wanting to impress her father. 

Good chapter. 

I do enjoy Emma's thoughts going to Jean with every more frequency. Are Emma's outfits based on comics ones, from her 616 youth or do you invent them yourself?

Oh you've made the other Frosts cousins rather than more siblings. 

And poor Emma with all the come ons!

I must admit that I wasn't expecting Shaw and by extension the Hellfire club to figure into this. It bodes trouble if he gets too handsy, lol. Emma might end up with two mutant groups as options. 

This is definitely a great chapter. Thanks for the explanation for the title at the bottom. It was very interesting too see Emma's father take the role of mediator and seem semi-reasonable while still being an intimitading figure that Emma's obviously very wary of. The reminder of Christian that while he can bend a little, so long as she's useful to him, he will still eject her if she crosses him directly or becomes useless.

It's interesting to have Jean be both friendly and willing to stand up to Emma's snobbery especially in defense of Scott which is lovely. Even more interesting that Emma does appreciate it and realising it's something she should be working on, that it's part of her bad family upbringing. 

The final scene is just perfect though. Just a very real feeling indication of the bond and attraction growing between Emma and Jean. Shitty day - one conversation with Jean, even one where they argue a bit - She's beaming. Sweet and realistic.

Good job DS!

Ha! Well I think you're research paid off! I was very struck by how early 2000s this did feel. I wonder if Emma has seen any of those new superhero movies with black leather clad heroes?

The structure here was  very well done with each visit ending with Emma biting her tongue and get more and more annoyed until it bubbles over. Well done. 

Deserving or not, definitely underscore Emma's power and the potential problems with using it ethically!

Nice job all around!

Huh. Well those author's note are interesting to me because also as a guy I had no idea.

I figure that could have gone far worse. The trip is definitely unpleasant and you always keep Emma's issues in mind. Like not wanting anyone to see her bare feet!

The big thing that's going to cause problems is of course standing up to her mother, it was great she did it but boy is that going to get worse before it gets better,

Ooh, you always do such good work with Emma's point of view. Like she knows the story about the natives and thinks it's just good business and she lets the old guard off but only because she thinks she can take advantage later. Just so evil.

And yet we see where it's coming from when we meet her mother. Oof, she's got serious mixed feelings here.

I'm not well versed on comics Emma but now I remember she's busty but canonically because of surgical enhancement. I hadn't realised until here your Emma was so flat chested. 

A couple of things I noticed, I think they work for the story but technically, is this is set in Evolution's time "Anaconda" wouldn't be out yet? And I am really not expert at all but wouldn't Emma have seen a gynecologist by 18?

Still it's definitely a "fun"/interesting scenario to put her in and really highlists how controlling and warped her mother's priorities are. 

Loving that shiptease moment with Emma fantasing about Jean, however briefly as well. 

Very cool chapter. I continue to admire your characterisation of Emma. Her sartorial obsession and the assumptions she makes like tbe 'humilation sitting in the back row' when pretty sure no-one in the class notices or cares where she sits.

The tension with Jean is good and I do love the distinction for that for her, her parent's is not 'home'. 

Oh and Diamond form Emma! That's new. :)

Oh very interesting chapter. Emmma's improving very quickly, nice for her to have a win and she altered technique to her other interest.

The final scene there paints a very vivid image of Emma's family life and what her mother's like in just a short scene. Very well done. 

Nice chapter. I liked the way you imagine the psychic powers working. Using the imagery of Phoenix for Jean and Chessmen for Emma. 

Silly me, I only got why Emma is into chess in this when she was protecting herself with White Queens and I finally noticed the allusion to the Hellfire club.

And there's some subtle workings of physical/romantic attraction between them in there as well, very good writing. :)

This is a nice pair of scenes! The first one is nice and is starting to hint at Emma being attracted to Jean aside from the mutant connection.

And the second it interesting that it would imply that anti-mutant racism is quickly going to be something that they can't ignore, and if Emma keeps like that she'll be implicated as mutant or sympathiser. I was thinking it'd be "funny" if they managed to hide their mutant nature but still caught a ton of flak for homophobes.

Nice writing as always, looking forward to me.

Oh, that's a very interesting chapter. The constant reminders of Emma's unhappy childhood that she doesn't quite grasp how bad it is and how abusive it was are good writing. I found it telling how she's thinking one thing at the start of the ballet scene, about how it would be nice to do something modern, and when the ballet instructor says something very similar at the end of scene she bristles and is offended at it.

And I'm rubbish at chess, so I can't pick you up on it if any of it was wrong but it was a good scene nevertheless. The mention of the specific laptop model did make me check and see it was early 2000s and that's cool. Of course there's the intriquing nature of her opponents, based on screen names presumably T'Challa or Shuri and Cyclops himself (though you could be planning a twisty twist). All noted geniuses/tacticians/strategists in the comics, so makes a lot of sense.

Nice chapter! :)

Good chapter, things are starting to move now, It's interesting seeing Emma as the much less experienced telepath in need of Jean's help.

Which of course, she's willing to give. I like you're Jean; she's kind compassionate and understanding but  clearly has thoughts, standards and agency of her own, she's not judging but she'll clearly stand up to Emma on what's right, a good mix.

Noce job DS.

Nice chapter, or rather well written I should say. The harassment scene seemed very real and it’s good character building scene for Emma to find out exactly what she can do with a careless use of her power.

Her continued lack of understand that Jean is just a nice person is pretty funny as well.

Nice chapter. Emma continues to be not very nice. Doing the right thing but for very pragmatic reaaons.

Jean is much nicer and more trusting it seems, sharing info with Emma because they're both mutants, though she's no stranger to "evil" mutants, I wonder if it's going to backfire on her with Emma. 

Good work :)