Okay, I know this one is old, but since you posted in the promote a story forum that you'd like some feedback, I'll offer a bit.

During the scene with Ororo and Logan that you open with, there were several things that I liked. Their mutual despair over their losses was demonstrated very well. Building the moment between the two of them for trust worked quite well, but I felt that it was far too soon for sexual interaction. Granted, they've been teammates for years, but he's never looked at her with that interest prior. It seemed to me that you rushed them too quickly to this point.

Also, I admit to being confused when he begins disrobing her. You started out with what seemed to be a mirror from the scene from the first movie, where Rogue awakens Logan from a nightmare. Yet, when they are disrobing, she's wearing her uniform, and from the description it seems he is as well. I don't see him going to bed in his uniform, and without any other adults present in the house, I don't see Storm going on a mission without him. As the movies do not have her embracing her abilities as freely as the comics, I don't see her donning her uniform for an evening flight either.

I did like how you tied in the comic reference with her relationship with Forge and how it affects her emotionally much in the same way Logan is affected by Jean. Including this, however, strengthens my opinion that the sex between Logan and Ororo occurs too soon.

I would like to make a formatting suggestion. Though you have a section break at the end of this scene and before the beginning of the next scene involving Rogue, Bobby and Kitty, I think it might be better to have this chaptered. It makes it easier for me to read a story in sections if it's chaptered than as one long text. This may just be my opinion though.

In regards to this scene between the three of them: I admit to stopping here. I quit before the sex began between the three of them because I felt as though there was no development to this point. Granted, we don't see much of Kitty in the movies, and practically nothing of Peter. Bobby and Rogue are secondary characters, so their development is slightly stunted as well. That is the benefit of the written word as a medium: there is infinitely more time to develop secondary - and even tertiary - characters. Unfortunately, without the background that you perceive existing being described for me, I can't quite follow your thoughts on how this relationship would work.

I can certainly grasp Rogue being obsessed with sex - though I think Bobby is a bit harsh in his reprimand of her. I always saw her as going the other way, though; as being almost virginal and not sex-crazed simply because she can't feel it, and therefore would not want to torture herself with the thought of it.

Given that we have virtually no familial background for Kitty, I can appreciate that you want to expand on her character. Making her more sensual than her comic-based counterpart, as befits the era of her introduction, is certainly understandable. But the way that she and Bobby go after Rogue here is almost as though Rogue is not given a choice. She's bombarded with sensations she has heretofore been deprived of and she is seduced by the promise of touch, thereby ensuring her participation. But this too seems far too soon.

I understand that in the aftermath of great loss there is a need to reaffirm one's mortality, and one's status among the living. There is a desire to unite with another being in a primal way, to re-establish the knowledge that life continues. But the way that you jump into these relationships, and your indication that they are to be of a more permanent standing, leads me to question their viability.

As I said before, I stopped reading during the scene with the three younger X-Men, simply because I felt that this story was going somewhere I could not follow. The relationships being based purely on the physical do not appeal to me personally.

Having said all of that, I do think that your writing is very well done. I do think that you could have a masterful story here - even one of novel length, should you ever choose to expand the scenes and delve into their motivations. I do thank you for taking the time to share this piece.

Happy writing!
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