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Reviews for Spider's Web Trilogy - The Spider's Bite

By : Shadow-Of-The-Guardian
  • From redsliver on April 06, 2013
    Excellent work, I really enjoyed reading it. Liz Allan is a particular favorite of mine so I am very glad to see her in a forefront role. I like the way you write large sex scenes without them feeling particularly dead. (It's hard for me not to see my own sex scenes as plotless bogs.) I find the venom fangs and the application of them compelling. I also quite enjoy Peter taking the time to check his own fluid samples. Peter is a scientist but he is often reactionary, looking and learning only after things blow up in his face. You captured that quite well.

    One particular thing I noticed is when Spidey fought Widow there was a distinct lack of quipping. A small tidbit, yes and it was the only fight so far on camera as it were. I hope for a quip or two in any upcoming conflicts. Also looking forward to Octavius and Osborn collecting Jessica Drew. Very much so.

    A beta reader would certainly smooth out any of the other miniscule problems I've seen. Still, even before the spit and polish, this is a very solid Spider-man story and I look forward to the next chapter.
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  • From AgentGv01 on April 06, 2013
    Sorry I realized I skipped over a part of the story I reviewed so I deleted my older review as I can't edit it. well I'm glad you updated the story and that you got back to writing this is one of the few stories I look forward to on this site. Nice how it opened off right where you left off and I like how Liz was debating if what she had was real or not. Actually I'm surprised she didn't bring up why he was in her room that night while they were talking maybe later she can address that since her mind was most likely on other things. You know if you keep having them rip their clothing off they won't have anything left to wear.

    I like how it wasn't just jump in the bed together but you actually worked up to it as both girls got their feelings across. Plus how Peter was scientifically trying to think what was happening although if the mating instincts of an animal were given to him that can't help with teenage hormones as well. I can't wait for the next chapter plus I wonder if biting women in different areas will have a different effect as well given that you could say that biting her pussy easlier caused Liz to have a large orgasm.

    Anyways keep up the good work.
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  • From Ryvius on April 05, 2013
    Great update. Love the threesome action.

    Good job with the details like explaining how Peter's venom and fangs work, and their affect on the girls.

    Not much else to say for now, other than great work. I look forward to more!
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  • From marvelmaster616 on February 03, 2013
    Sorry it took me a while to review chapter 3. It was another really good chapter that helped add a few details to the story while bringing both Liz and Black Widow into the fold. I like how you dug a little deeper into the Oz formula at the beginning. In the past I've often heard that Peter becoming Spider-Man was a metaphor for puberty. So it fits perfectly in that Oz would have only taken hold in his body at a stage in his life when puberty was kicking in. That leads me to wonder what kind of effects his venom will have on Mary Jane and Liz, both of whom are fairly young as well and going through puberty too. I like what you did with the Peter/Liz scene. Your attention to details are part of what make this story great. Can we expect a similar scene with Gwen in the future? I would really like to see her get involved! Again, great job on this story. Please keep up the excellent work!

    MarvelMaster616
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  • From ANON - un named on January 27, 2013
    Nice story but where is Gwen Stacy. I think that since she became the carnage in the Ultamate mavel she should get with peter too.
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  • From credfield75 on January 25, 2013
    I remember reading the first chapter of this story some time ago but forgot about it until I saw you were on Ch 3. I have to say I love how your story is going thus far. I like how you didn't go the symbiote route like so many others usually do. I look forward to your next update, keep up the great work!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 23, 2013
    You continue to weave a very captivating story. It almost makes the long time between chapters bearable. Keep up the great work.
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  • From Ryvius on January 21, 2013
    Gotta say, I'm really enjoying this fic so far.

    The story is good, the level of detail is nice, the lemons are great, etc.

    Like the stuff with MJ & Liz so far (though my favorite version of Liz was the Spectacular Spider-Man's). Can't wait to see who else you bring to the table.

    The girl I want to see the most is Kitty Pride/Shadow Cat. The relationship between her and Peter was one of my favorite things in the Ultimate verse, and honestly I think they should have stuck with it longer.

    I think seeing a bit more of Web-Head's humor and banter would be nice, but otherwise I can't think of anything lacking so far.

    Keep up the good work! I look forward to more soon.
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  • From AgentGv01 on January 20, 2013
    Well chapter 3 was really good I like the little new intro to Jessica and the new way you'll explain her powers and presence into this world without the creepy factor of her being a female clone of Peter. The chapter was well done and I liked how Liz tried to find out what was going on with MJ and Peter although she was in serious denial about what she saw it would seem in one point. The part with Black Window was unexpected but I liked it, also will this prompt Peter to alter his mask to allow his fangs to poke out without damaging his mask?

    Also I hope you have a scene showing Black Widow sometime after this with the effects and just like Liz showing her masturbating to Spider-Man, maybe showing her starting to get slightly obsessive.

    The last part was fun and I take it that Liz's mother is either a very heavy sleep or wasn't home, I also have to wonder if Liz will think it was all a dream when she wakes up given that she had been pleasuring herself to him and him suddenly showing up and having sex would make her question things that is until she notices the sighs she had sex of course.
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  • From marvelmaster616 on December 26, 2012
    Two chapters in and already this is one of my favorite Spider-Man stories in a long time! I really enjoyed this chapter. It didn't just deal with the immediate aftermath of what happened between Peter and MJ in the first chapter. It actually built upon it and escalated all those feelings and desires. It was really nicely done. It was well organized, nicely detailed, and very well thought out. The scene with Liz and Mary Jane tempting Flash was a humorous little addition. It figures a guy like him just can't focus with two attractive girls in gym shorts tempting him. I also thought it was funny how Mary Jane had to slip out of Peter's room wearing a Thundercat shirt of all things. lol Nice touch there. It's clear Aunt May has her suspicions, but not acting on them is giving Peter and MJ plenty of time to enjoy themselves. I wonder how they'll handle conversations about birth control and what not. And the end with Peter and Mary Jane getting it on in the shower while Liz watched was great! But now that Liz has seen them, how are they going to handle it? It could go any number of ways given Peter's fantasies about three-ways, but I'm sure you'll find a way to make it interesting. Again, great job on this! I really enjoyed it. Keep up the awesome work!

    Regards,
    MarvelMaster616
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  • From AgentGv01 on December 24, 2012
    I liked chapter 2 and I also liked the little extra things you did like when MJ was alone at home adding in a little more erotic parts into the chapter in a neat way. I also liked how you expanded a bit in the end and that you had MJ messing with Liz while at the same time slowly making MJ a bit more 'predatory' leading up to a bigger payoff later on in this story as I like the little bits like that in stories that help build up certain plots.

    The sex scenes were done very well as usual and were always great to read as well. Now that you got some elements set up like Liz watching them and slowly showing MJ thinking about her changes. I'm glad it's a slow build and not a sudden change as well. I'm looking forward to what the next chapter will have as well and where you take this story.
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  • From ANON - brian dooley on October 28, 2012
    Love this story. Please update soon.
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  • From ANON - Nerdman3000 on September 20, 2012
    Wow! This is really good. Great idea, and I loved Dark Urges so this should be good.

    Question, but are you planning on having Black Widow and Black Cat joining Peter like they did in Dark Urges? I'd like to see that.
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  • From ANON - Saber on August 20, 2012
    For anyone wondering, the story taken from is "Blackout", a very wonderful Neon Genesis Evangelion fic that's been on the web for some time.
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  • From ANON - Kokuryu on August 19, 2012
    I have to say, I rather enjoyed this first entry, and it seems that Norman Osborn's experiments have unwittingly given birth to a new species --- homo araneus --- which will certainly mean trouble for him when he comes back. Won't he have a very unpleasant surprise when he tries to make off with Mary Jane this time around? I will certainly be looking forward to how you handle that part, and speaking of MJ, did you give her Spider-Man 2099's power-set, what with the talons shredding Peter's bed sheets and all? If so, that's actually quite awesome.

    And yes, I cannot forget the love scene between Peter and Mary Jane. Not only was it positively erotically charged, it was also very romantic, hence me calling it a love scene and not merely a sex scene. You did capture the passion and love Peter and Mary Jane have for each other very well, and I enjoyed that the most from the first time I read this. Just one question, how're they gonna react to MJ's new spider-powers?
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