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Reviews for Burn

By : Nemain
  • From Aysha on August 12, 2012
    That was very good, your use of vocabulary was very impressive, and almost perfect. You made only 3 mistakes anb they are very common ones. our first was when you used further when Rogue's pants slipped down farther. Further is a measure of degree not distance ie. How much further will the his anger increase.

    The second was when Amara told Rogue to "lay down." A person may lay an object down or a chicken may lay an egg. but animals/people lie down or they are lying down, you can say that she was just lying there but you say that that rock was yust laying there.

    Your last grammer error was when Amara told Rogue she could touch whoever she wanted. That should have been whomever.

    You did so well with your use of grammer & vocabulary that I thought you'd want to know about those.

    Also l saw one typo you wrote going but meant doing.

    You wrote a great story and l really enjoyed it. :)


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  • From ANON - rubberduck on January 16, 2005
    since i gave your hellboy story a rather scathing review, i thought i would be nicer with this one. it's rather hot, but that's amara's fault. her and her darn mutant power lol. those brotherhood boys sure are dumb to be treating such hot and willing girls so shabbily. they took their girlfriends for granted and drove them to do some very kinky things hehe. i love the dialogue. it's so real. and funny. in short stories and chapters that you write it's imperative that you keep that kind of pacing.
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  • From freakshow on December 30, 2004
    Wow not a bad fic although I never thought about Rogue and Amara even in an AU o well people can dream can't they? Anyway I liked that thing about how getting drunk affects whether a mutants power is active. Hmm I wonder if it would work on Scott. I want more!
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